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Though it wasn’t yet Hearth’s Warming Eve, everyone was setting up for a little get together for the winter holidays at Rarity’s house. Fluttershy looked around. Sunset, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash were setting up decorations—strings of snowflakes on the windows and stars for the tree. Pinkie and Applejack were in the kitchen preparing the food. Only Twilight was missing.
Fluttershy frowned and folded her hands over her dress. Where was Twilight? She ordinarily would’ve been here. Nobody else seemed worried, but she couldn’t help feeling anxious. It just wouldn’t be any fun if Twilight didn’t show up. With a forlorn sigh, she handed off mistletoe to a little bird, who hauled it off to hang it above the window.
“A little to the left,” Fluttershy told the bird. Twilight can be pretty particular about this kind of thing, so I’d better make sure it’s perfectly straight, she thought. As she directed the bird to find a good spot, Applejack stepped out from the kitchen and strolled over.
“That for Twi and her boyfriend?” Applejack asked, grinning.
A jolt went down Fluttershy’s spine. Slowly, she turned to Applejack. “What… What do you mean?”
“Well, you know. The whole thing about kissin’ under mistletoe.”
“I, um… I wasn’t thinking about that. I just thought it was pretty.” She rubbed her hands together. “Um… Is he coming? Timber Spruce? I kind of thought this party was just for us girls…”
“Well, it’s not a sure thing, but he might. He is her boyfriend, after all. And the more the merrier, right?”
“I guess so…” Fluttershy felt her heart sinking. She called her bird to get the mistletoe back.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I just felt like I’d be making everything awkward.”
Carrying a box, Sunset passed by the two of them, and she absentmindedly gave her two cents: “Don’t guys just use that mistletoe stuff as an excuse to try to kiss girls without permission? I think Fluttershy is right to not want to hang any.”
“Guess you have a point, Sunset…” Applejack replied. After Sunset strolled off, she looked at Fluttershy. “Guess if you feel like it’d make things awkward, that’s fine…”
With one sidelong glance back, Applejack headed back to the kitchen. Once she was gone, Fluttershy stuffed the mistletoe into her pocket, where the despicable parasite would never see the light of day again—at least not until she found somewhere else to stow it. She looked in the box Rarity had given her to make sure there weren’t any more.
Feeling her negative thoughts overwhelming her, Fluttershy stopped a second. She inhaled and exhaled. I want Twilight to be happy. I won’t get in her way. I will be supportive with regards to whatever happens. She squeezed the mistletoe in her pocket. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to help make something happen. I think that’s perfectly reasonable.
Fluttershy continued helping set up the decorations. Rarity was being so fussy and particular about the placement of each ornament that the tree remained rather bare, but there was no use getting involved when she’d just complain about the color balance. Instead of interfering with the tree, Fluttershy and Sunset finished hanging up all the strings of snowflakes, and then they tried getting the remaining decorations up.
Time ebbed by, and still no Twilight. Fluttershy was beginning to get really worried. What if something had happened? She checked her phone to see if Twilight had contacted her. But her text log with Twilight had no news. Actually, the log had no text at all, but was instead just a wall of animal emoji. The latest Twilight had sent was a reindeer with a festive pointed cap. Though it seemed tough, Fluttershy decided to try words for once, so she began typing, “Are you coming? Are you alright?”
Before she could finish, there was a knock at the front door. Fluttershy’s lips curled into a grin. Twilight! She erased her text and dropped her phone back into her pocket.
Applejack and Rarity went to the door, and Fluttershy hovered behind the two of them. When Rarity opened the door, there Twilight stood, wearing her blue jacket, scarf, and earmuffs. Her face was red from the evening winter chill. At first, Fluttershy was elated to see her, but her own smile soon faltered, for she could tell right away something wasn’t right. Twilight wore a deep frown. And her face wasn’t red just from the cold; behind her glasses, her eyes were crinkled and red—from crying.
“What are you doing just standing there? Get out of the cold, sugar cube.” Applejack told Twilight.
Nobody else sees it yet, Fluttershy thought. The cold had frozen Twilight’s tears, so they couldn’t see. Hurriedly, she stepped past Rarity to get to Twilight, and extended a hand to her. “Twilight, is something wrong?” she asked.
“I… I…” Twilight clenched her fists at her sides. Then she yelled out, “I broke up with Timber!” After saying that, she threw her hands over her face and burst into sobs.
A jolt went through Fluttershy. She felt nothing but shock upon hearing the declaration. Her only concern was how upset Twilight was. Still sobbing, Twilight rushed inside, with her arms extended. Fluttershy held her own arms out, but Twilight didn’t come to her. She clung onto Applejack and cried into her shoulder.
Why did she…? Fluttershy was startled, and couldn’t understand why Twilight had gone to Applejack instead of her. It made her anxious. And also just a little jealous. But she pushed those thoughts from her mind. I can’t think like that. I can’t make this about me. Twilight’s hurting and I have to be there for her.
As Rarity moved to shut the door, Fluttershy stood behind Twilight and placed her hand on her shoulder. Without looking back, Twilight raised her own hand to Fluttershy’s and clasped it. A small smile crept across Fluttershy’s lips. She hoped Twilight felt a little better too, from knowing she was here for her.
“What happened, sugar cube?” Applejack asked as she rubbed the top of Twilight’s head. “You and your boyfriend have a fight?”
“He’s not my boyfriend anymore,” Twilight hissed, her voice laced with bitterness. “We broke up. For good.”
Rarity gasped. “He broke up with you right before the holidays?! How beastly!”
By now, Pinkie, Sunset, and Rainbow Dash came out to see what the commotion was. They kept a respectful distance, but there were sympathetic expressions all around.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Hold on a second, now. Didn’t you say you were the one to break up with him?”
“Well, he didn’t give me much choice, with how little he cares about anything I like! You know, I think he was just putting on a show to try and impress me before, with him knowing those scientific names and the differences between gems.”
Sunset folded her arms under her stomach and frowned. “True. Some boys can be like that. And Timber did seem like quite the smooth talker.”
Fighting back sobs, Twilight continued, “And the more we went out, the more shallow our conversations got. It was like he felt like he didn’t have to put in the effort to fake it anymore! And… and there were a million other things! It made me wonder why we were dating in the first place! And so I… I…” A loud sob burst forth, and Twilight once more buried her face in Applejack’s shoulder as she cried.
Both wearing worried grimaces, Sunset exchanged a look with Rainbow Dash, then shrugged. Sunset looked back to Twilight and said, “Well, we’re all here now. Maybe a party is what you need to take your mind off things, Twilight.”
“I don’t know if I feel like partying right now… And I wouldn’t want to ruin it for the rest of you by being so gloomy…”
Thinking she might help, Fluttershy tapped Twilight’s shoulder and said in a quiet voice, “Do you want to talk about it, Twilight? Just the two of us?”
With her eyes glistening with tears, Twilight looked back at her. Her expression seemed to be asking, “Is that really okay?” In reply, Fluttershy gave her warmest smile to reassure her, and offered her hand. Twilight took it again. She nodded, and then she finally let go of Applejack so she could go with Fluttershy. Rarity offered the two her bedroom for their talk, so Fluttershy took Twilight there.
Rarity’s room was vibrant and well furnished, with vanities and mirrors, and a table for a sewing machine. There was a fainting couch too, and a bed. Yet, Twilight and Fluttershy opted not to sit somewhere so cushy. Twilight wanted to hide away and make herself small, so the two of them sat together on the floor, their backs leaning against the bed. Twilight rested her head on Fluttershy’s shoulder. The first few minutes were mostly spent with Fluttershy waiting and Twilight blowing her nose on the handkerchief Rarity had given her. After that, they sat in silence for a long time. Fluttershy didn’t mind. She was used to silence. But she supposed she should say something to try and comfort Twilight. Though the only thing that came to mind to ask about was how Twilight had hugged Applejack.
Fluttershy’s mind raced with her thoughts: You need to console her, Fluttershy. Don’t make it about you. Don’t make it about you. Do not make it about you!
“So, um…” With an awkward smile, Fluttershy broke the silence. “Is there any reason you went to Applejack first … instead of me?”
I just told you not to ask that! As soon as her words left her mouth, Fluttershy grimaced and cursed herself.
Twilight shrugged. “I don’t know. Applejack just feels so … safe.” She looked at Fluttershy. “Why?”
Fluttershy winced. She’s not … falling for Applejack, is she? Fluttershy hurriedly diverted her thoughts to get herself out of the predicament her own jealousy had caused. “Oh, um… I just… I just wanted you to know that you can come to me too … about this sort of thing…” After hesitating a moment, she put her arms around Twilight and held her.
Twilight raised her hand to clasp Fluttershy’s. Then she closed her eyes and smiled for the first time since she’d arrived. “I know.” After a second, she added, “Though it still seems like a weird question to ask.”
Fluttershy chewed her lip. “It’s just … we’re best friends, aren’t we?”
“I feel like we’re all best friends though,” Twilight said. “You, me, Applejack, Sunset, and everyone else.”
Fluttershy felt her heart sink. That’s so like Twilight… To her, all her friends are equal… But wait… isn’t that more like the other Twilight? With a shaky smile, she said, “Yes, that’s true. All our relationships are special. But I do feel like you and I share a lot of interests and have a lot in common.”
“That’s true, I suppose. We share an interest in cute animals. And you take care of Spike a lot for me. Also, you’re not too shabby at research yourself, you know?”
Fluttershy felt her face grow hot at the complement. She sought to change the subject. “Hugging a bunny probably would be more comforting. I wish I’d brought one with me.”
“This is fine,” Twilight said.
Fluttershy felt even more flustered and confused after Twilight said that. But she dared not read anything into those words. She reminded herself, Don’t get the wrong idea, Fluttershy. She’s been through something awful. She needs a friend now. Strangely, that line of thought made her think of the other Twilight. She had been there for Fluttershy when she needed a friend most. Now she had to do the same for this Twilight. “Um… Do you want to talk now? About what happened?”
“Hrrrm…” Twilight leaned away from Fluttershy and groaned. “I don’t know what else there is to tell. You know, Fluttershy… I think one of the reasons I liked Timber was because he kind of reminded me of you. He was helping run a camp, so I thought he cared about nature and animals…”
Wait, why did she mention me? Timber reminded her of me…? And that’s why she liked him? Fluttershy felt her heart flutter. She drew back and listened intently; and she watched Twilight’s every movement, trying to decode what she had meant.
Twilight sighed. “I fell for Timber’s superficial charm, but thinking back, I don’t know if I’ve ever really liked a boy… Do any of them even care about studying and academics? Or do they all just have empty heads? What do you think?”
“Um… I’m sure it must feel like that’s true sometimes… Though I’m sure they have their own thoughts and troubles… like everyone else.”
Twilight was quiet for a while. “You’re kind, Fluttershy. I’ve never met a boy who was truly kind.”
Fluttershy wanted to ask about Timber, but was hesitant to bring him up when it might hurt Twilight again. But she thought of another boy. The one the other Twilight had seemed to get along with.“What about Flash Sentry?”
Twilight scoffed. “I don’t know what the other Twilight ever saw in that guy. Her hormones must’ve been making her go crazy. I mean, sure, he’s nice. But he’s not kind. And that niceness is all. Nothing else in there.” She wrapped her arms around her knees and sighed. “I must’ve been hormonal too… to get so confused that I thought I liked Timber. Because it’s the same thing. He’s nice, but not kind.”
“They’re …. nice … but not kind?”
“Yes…” Twilight, her eyes drooping sadly, looked at Fluttershy. She donned a slight smile. “Fluttershy… The more time I spend with you, the more I learn about kindness. And the more I’ve realized that truly being kind is not the same as just being nice. Those two were only nice because they wanted to go out with me. But you, Fluttershy? Your kindness comes from a compassionate heart that truly cares about every living thing. I know you really care about me.”
“I… I do care about you, Twilight… from the bottom of my heart… And from the bottom of my heart, I just want you to be happy.” Fluttershy knew what she had to say, but Twilight’s words kept setting her heart ablaze. Why does she keep talking about me? And comparing me to her boyfriend? Should I… Should I try being bold? Like the other Twilight told me to? Did she dare to hope that Twilight had the same feelings for her that she had for Twilight? No, I can’t… She just went through a breakup…
Twilight sighed again. “Timber didn’t really care… He never wanted to study with me… Just kept fooling around…”
“I’ll … study with you, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. Quickly, she added, “If you want…”
Twilight smiled and patted Fluttershy’s arm. “Really? You would? That’s sweet, Fluttershy. And I guess I should volunteer at the pet shelter to pay you back. That’s what best friends do, right?”
Fluttershy hesitated. It sounded like a good deal, since she’d get to spend even more time with Twilight. But something inside of her wouldn’t let her agree to it. “I would like it if you volunteered with me. It would be fun. But … you don’t have to pay me back. It’s not a transaction.”
“Yeah? But like you said, it could be fun. Ooh, remember that time when we did that dog daycare together? To raise money for Camp … Ever…free…” Twilight’s eyes grew watery.
Fluttershy could tell Twilight was thinking about Timber again. But she’d just been angry at him moments ago, so why had she turned so solemn now?
“I guess Timber did really care about his sister and Camp Everfree…”
Fluttershy swallowed. She had a sinking feeling. “Of course he did…”
“Maybe I’m the one being the jerk… Fluttershy, do you think I should apologize and make up with him?”
Fluttershy grimaced as she felt her heart torn asunder. Twilight really didn’t feel the same way. And still, she thought horrible things about getting Timber out of the way, and with too little hesitation, she said, “Um … No … I don’t want you to…” When she realized how that sounded, she winced and screwed her eyes shut. Don’t Fluttershy! Don’t! Before Twilight could respond, she corrected herself. “I-I mean… I don’t think think you should. It sounds like you had valid reasons, so you shouldn’t force yourself to get back together with him.”
To Fluttershy’s relief, Twilight nodded slowly. “You’re probably right… even if he’s not an awful person… our relationship wasn’t working.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “I guess I already knew that… And anyone who heard me say all that about Timber would say the same thing… Thanks for listening to me, and reminding me, Fluttershy.”
“Oh. It’s nothing, really… I just … want to be here for you, Twilight.”
Tears welled up in Twilight’s eyes again. Suddenly, Twilight threw her arms around Fluttershy and hugged her. Fluttershy felt her face grow hot again. But feeling Twilight’s warmth, she felt as happy as a bird flying free. She raised her hands to Twilight’s back.
As tears streamed down her cheeks, Twilight laughed. Still hugging Fluttershy, she said, “You know what? I just remembered. Timber’s voice reminded me of that guy in the show you and I watched together. You know, the one where they get trapped in a video game. The main character. He seemed cool, but by the end you kind of realize he’s not as interesting as all the other characters seem to think…. Kind of empty.”
Recalling those days, Fluttershy’s feelings stirred again. She was reminded of all the things they had in common, and all that they’d shared, and she felt so very attracted to Twilight. Hugging her like this felt risky, and she half wished Twilight would let go. Weakly, she said, “I… I remember…”
“Did Sunset watch that with us too?”
“No. She got annoyed that everyone fell in love with the protagonist and she also said the story was disjointed and rushed, and that the character writing was bad. So it was just us.”
Twilight giggled. “She was probably right about it being bad.”
“Yeah, but… I kind of liked the themes that show explored with the social implications of the technology…”
“That aspect was interesting. Hey, you know what? I guess our taste in shows is also something we have in common, right, Fluttershy? Just another reason it’s always fun to hang out with you.”
When a mischievous idea came to her, Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “That’s right. We both like nature documentaries.”
“I was talking about…” Twilight let go of Fluttershy and looked at her. When she saw Fluttershy’s grin and it dawned on her that had been a joke, Twilight burst into laughter. “Oh, very funny, Fluttershy! But you know, it’s not like I wouldn’t watch a nature documentary!”
Though she still felt a bit worried, Fluttershy felt lightened to hear Twilight laughing again. Her thoughts lingered on how much Twilight meant to her, and on how Twilight seemed to value their friendship as well. And her feelings of adoration grew. But those feelings weren’t what was most important now. “Twilight… Are you feeling better now that we’ve talked?”
Twilight frowned and cast her gaze downward. “A little… It still hurts… but I feel lighter thanks to you.” As her gaze grew foggy, she hugged her knees to her chest. “Fluttershy, I’ll be okay now, so you don’t have to stay with me. Don’t you want to go to the party? You’re missing it because of me… We’ve been talking so long…”
Fluttershy shook her head. Smiling, she put her hand on Twilight’s shoulder to reassure her. “I like being with you.” She paused a moment. In a less serious tone, she added, “Actually, you know me… I’m not so good at parties. Some one-on-one time is more my cup of tea. So I’ll sit here with you as long as you need.”
“Thank you, Fluttershy.” Twilight’s words were simple and direct. She took the handkerchief out again and rubbed away the tears forming in her eyes and the snot leaking from her nose. She stared down at the messy handkerchief afterwards. “I need to thank Rarity too… And Applejack.”
Hearing Applejack’s name again, Fluttershy felt stricken by urgency. Twilight had moved on from Flash to Timber so fast last time. If she didn’t say anything, if she just waited, what would happen? What if Twilight found someone else right away? What if she and Applejack were already starting to like each other?
Wait, that’s not right… Fluttershy realized there was something wrong with her reasoning. She was getting the two Twilights mixed up. This Twilight hadn’t ever been interested in Flash. But even if she tried assuring herself with reason, her feelings for both Twilights, and all her memories of the two of them, were all mixed up. No amount of reasoning could stop her from feeling a foreboding anxiety that she’d lose Twilight again—that she’d lose her chance to confess her feelings again. And there was no guarantee she’d get another chance.
The most important thing is to make her feel better as her friend. But maybe … Maybe I could try to let her know I’m interested… A vague thought crystallized into an idea. With some trepidation, her fingers closed around the mistletoe in her pocket. Fluttershy’s lip quivered. Be bold… be assertive… like the other Twilight told you…
Face flushed, Fluttershy looked to Twilight. “Um, Twilight, I just want to say… No matter what happens, I really value your friendship. And I also really like you.”
“I also really value our friendship.”
“Um… Do you know what this is, Twilight?” Screwing her eyes shut, Fluttershy drew the mistletoe from her pocket and held it out. She felt her face heating up even more.
Twilight pushed her glasses up and gave the plant a good, long look. “Phoradendron leucarpum? Don’t eat the berries. They’re poisonous.”
“No, that’s… Um… It’s mistletoe…”
“Well, that’s what it’s commonly called, I suppose.” Frowning, Twilight pushed up her glasses. “So… Is there a reason you’re showing this to me?”
“I just… I want you to know how special you are to me. We’ve done so much together and you’ve always accepted every part of me. Like that time when I dressed up for that Skull Cruncher concert, and you said you didn’t think I was weird, and you even dyed your nails black too. That meant a lot to me.”
“Okay, I remember that. But I still don’t understand the mistletoe.”
She doesn’t get it at all. Fluttershy felt awkward and miserable. But she wasn’t ready to give up. Her stomach felt queasy from doing it, but she slowly raised her arm so that the mistletoe was over her own head.
The longer Twilight stared at her, the hotter Fluttershy’s face felt. Please say something, Twilight… I’m going to die at this rate, she thought.
Finally, Twilight pushed her glasses up. Her eyes darted upwards, then back to Fluttershy. “What are you doing? Oh wait… you’re holding it over your head… Is this about the kissing thing? You know, it’s actually viscum album in the old tradition, but phoradendron leucarpum is more common here, so the tradition changed.” As she shared her knowledge, Twilight donned a self-indulgent grin. But then she grew a little melancholic. “Oh, sorry. Have I been monopolizing the conversation? We should talk about you—I didn’t want to talk about Timber anymore anyways.” She paused, glancing at the mistletoe again. “So, uh… you want someone to kiss you, Fluttershy? Is there a boy you like?”
“Um, no… I don’t think I’ve ever liked a boy.”
Pursing her lips in puzzlement, Twilight asked, “Then, if you’re not interested in anyone… what’s with this…?” She pointed to the mistletoe.
She’s not getting it. Should I go for it or should I back off? Fluttershy wondered. She already felt ready to die of embarrassment, but… Be bold. Be bold. I’ll try just a little more… Fluttershy screwed her eyes shut. “I… I didn’t say there wasn’t someone I was interested in.”
“Huh? Who?”
When Fluttershy opened one of her eyes, she found Twilight staring at her, looking more confused than ever. This time, Fluttershy dangled the mistletoe over Twilight’s head and gave it a shake.
“Oh, um… The mistletoe again…?” Twilight glanced over her shoulders as if to check if someone else was there. Seeing there wasn’t, a blush crept into her cheeks. She stared up at the mistletoe above her head. “Wait, me? You want me to? Is that it?” She chuckled nervously.
Furrowing her brow, Twilight leaned towards Fluttershy a moment. Their gazes locked, but Fluttershy couldn’t read Twilight’s wide-eyed stare. I can’t tell what she’s thinking! Why did she move closer? Is she okay with this? Fluttershy didn’t want to give up yet, but she felt as though the weight of her own feelings would crush her if this dragged on any longer. I’ll just… I’ll just kiss her on the cheek…
Fluttershy placed her hand on the ground and shuffled to Twilight’s side, then she leaned in.
But things didn’t go as planned. Twilight followed Fluttershy’s movements with her gaze, and as Fluttershy leaned in towards her from the side, she turned to face her. And then, for a split second, Fluttershy felt Twilight’s lips touch her own.
“Ack!”
They both pulled away immediately.
Twilight jumped up and took a step back. “W-Why’d you do that?!”
“Because I really like you! Oh!” Fluttershy clamped her hand over her mouth. “No, I mean… I was only trying to kiss you on the cheek to cheer you up, but you moved so suddenly…”
“But I heard you just now! You said you really liked me!” Twilight yelled.
“I, um…” Fluttershy’s mind went blank.
“I-Is that really true?!” Looking frightened, Twilight, put a hand to her chest and took another step back.
Fluttershy frantically searched for an explanation, but her mind was so muddled her words came out all jumbled. “Applejack told me I should hang this mistletoe for you and your boyfriend… but I took it down instead, and that's why I had it in my pocket and … and you kept comparing me to your boyfriend so I thought it might cheer you up if I did something silly, like if I kissed you. I was just trying to make you feel better, as a friend.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “I don’t believe that. Why would you have kissed me on the lips like that, and said you really liked me afterwards, if you were just trying to be a friend?”
“It was … it was only the corner of your mouth though… and … and it really was an accident… I’m really sorry, Twilight…”
Shifting to sit up straight, Fluttershy folded her hands over her lap and stared at the ground. Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized what a mess she’d made. She should have just stuck to cheering up Twilight. That’s what a true friend would have done. No matter her feelings for Twilight, that’s what she should have done.
“You say it was an accident, but you’re not denying that you really like me?” Twilight asked, glaring daggers at her.
Fluttershy bit her lip. “I can’t … deny that…”
Twilight groaned in frustration, then cried out furiously, “Did you really think right after I had a breakup was the best time to throw this at me?!” After her flash of anger passed, she looked down and saw the tears in Fluttershy’s eyes. She grimaced as though pained, then asked in a softer tone, “When did you start feeling like this?”
Fluttershy supposed she owed Twilight an explanation, at least. Though her memories and emotions were so muddled she wasn’t sure how best to do that. “I … I’ve liked you since we met… And those feelings kept growing the closer we got… And I think… it was when we went to the carnival together that I began to realize… We were together the whole time… You kept holding my hand and taking me around… and you even won me a stuffed animal, but I got surprised and knocked it away… We were so close and you were so warm… And on the Ferris wheel, you put your arm around me…”
Twilight blinked. “What? I don’t remember something like that… Carnival? The amusement park? I thought I was with Sunset for that…? None of that happened, Fluttershy.”
Feeling a rush of anger, Fluttershy cried out, “Yes, it did! Are you telling me you don’t remember?!” Tears welled up in her eyes as she recalled those special memories. But then a realization dawned on her. That wasn’t her, it was the other Twilight! Horrified, she clamped her hands over her mouth.
Placing her hand over her eye, Twilight grimaced, her expression turning to anger once more. “Unbelievable. You’re usually so kind. I was already feeling so lost and confused, and now this?! Couldn’t you have waited for, I don’t know, a day before confessing your feelings?! Were you even being sincere when you were worrying about me? Or did you just want … this?”
Fluttershy clenched her teeth. I know I messed up, but… but I really was trying to cheer her up! And she… she’s to blame too! She stamped her hands on the floor and cried out, “Okay, well, I was trying to comfort you as a friend! But you made it hard since you kept comparing me to your boyfriends! Saying my kindness was what you wanted most in the person you’d date!” Fluttershy put her hand over her own shoulder. In a quiet voice, she said, “I just wanted to be close to you…”
“I’ve only ever had one boyfriend!” After Twilight said it, she gasped. “Wait, that’s it, isn’t it?! That thing with the carnival—that was with the other Twilight! When you see me, you just see her! Isn’t that right?”
“N-No…” Fluttershy recoiled, horrified. Her own confused memories swirled around in her head, and she couldn’t find any words.
“I’m just a replacement. For the other Twilight.” Even whilst her anger exploded, tears welled up in Twilight’s eyes.
“No, Twilight! I’m so sorry! I just got confused!” Frantic, Fluttershy shook her head, and pleaded. “You’re you, and nobody could ever replace you! I know you’re different people, and I care about you! And… And I care about both of you… Maybe I liked her a lot back then… but you’re the one who’s most special to me now. I’m … I’m so sorry, Twilight… I’ve just… made a mess of all of this when you were already feeling down… I’m a terrible friend…”
“I… I just…” Twilight screwed her eyes shut and looked away.
The sound of the door creaking open startled both of them. Applejack, no doubt drawn there by all the yelling, peered into the room, and asked, “Hey y’all, what’s going on?”
Fluttershy watched in silence as Applejack surveyed the scene before her: Twilight was in tears and halfway across the room. And Fluttershy supposed she must have looked like a wreck herself.
Applejack donned a concerned look. Cautiously, she asked, “You two fightin’?”
“Oh, Applejack!”
Twilight rushed over to Applejack, her arms extended as if to hug her. Applejack held out her own arms. Fluttershy got a jolt seeing that; yet, knowing all the pain she’d caused Twilight, she hung her head and resigned herself to it.
But Twilight stopped short of Applejack. She glanced back at Fluttershy, then lowered her arms. Applejack did likewise.
“You… alright? What happened?” Applejack asked.
“Nothing really,” Twilight said. “I’m… I’m going home.”
Though she still looked worried, Applejack let Twilight by. She soon disappeared from Fluttershy’s view. And then Applejack looked to her. She strolled over and offered a hand. Fluttershy didn’t take it. She curled up and hugged her knees to her chest.
“You alright? Somethin’ happened between you two, didn’t it?” Applejack leaned down with her hands on her knees.
Speaking softly, barely above a whisper, Fluttershy said, “I … I really messed up, Applejack… I guess I should have left cheering up Twilight to you, after all…”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad… You two can make up, can’t ya?”
“I’m not so sure…”
Soon after, Sunset and Rarity entered the room. Seeing Fluttershy so dejected, they went to her.
“Darling, what happened? Twilight was in such a rush to leave.”
When Fluttershy didn’t respond, Applejack said, “Seems they had some sort of disagreement…”
“Oh no! Fluttershy, darling, you mustn’t blame yourself! These breakups can be messy. I’m certain you just got caught in the crossfire!” Rarity placed her hand on Fluttershy’s back to reassure her. But whereas there would usually be warmth from the gesture, Fluttershy only felt cold.
“Are you okay, Fluttershy?” This time, Sunset extended a hand to Fluttershy. Though she felt dull inside, Fluttershy reflexively reached out to take her hand. Until she remembered Sunset’s empathy powers.
Eyes widening, Fluttershy withdrew her hand and jolted backwards. I can’t let Sunset see any of my memories or feelings! Not of what just happened! She didn’t want anyone to know about her jumbled feelings for the two Twilights, nor of how badly she’d messed all of that up.
Sunset winced, then donned a hurt expression. Fluttershy felt a knife go right through her heart. Oh no… I’m just hurting all my friends today…
“I… I think I’m going to go home too!” Fluttershy announced as she stood. Before she could hurt anyone else, she fled from the room and from the party, and she didn’t look back.
“Uggh…” Sitting atop her bed, Twilight groaned. Between the crying and then hardly sleeping because of all the crying, her eyes were sore. She glared at the end of her bed, where Spike snoozed away so happily. Irritation rose up in her upon seeing how easy he had it. But it soon cooled. Holding him had been her only comfort, so she supposed she shouldn’t resent him.
When she’d thrown herself on her bed last night, she hadn’t even been sure which of the two things she was crying about: her breakup with Timber or about Fluttershy’s haphazard confession. No… Definitely about Fluttershy’s haphazard confession, she decided. Everything with Timber felt like a distant memory at this point. If that had been Fluttershy’s goal, then she’d succeeded.
Glancing at her cellphone on the table beside her bed, Twilight noticed she had eight new messages. She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, then picked it up. As expected, Fluttershy had sent an overly long apology message, apologizing for everything she’d done and some things she hadn’t, concluding with, “I’m very sorry and I hope we can remain friends.” Naturally, she’d followed up with an apology sticker of a cat crying. And unable to stop herself, she’d sent six other cat apology stickers after that.
After inspecting each message, Twilight tossed her cellphone back onto the table. Then, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she slouched over with her elbow against her knee and her fist pressed against her cheek. She scowled. No amount of crying kittens is going to make this okay, Fluttershy. Even as she thought that, she was struck by a desire to look at that last kitten again. No, no… Resist… I’m still mad at her! Why would she kiss me all of a sudden like that right after I’d gone through a breakup?!
Scrunching up her face in anger, Twilight crossed her arms and curled up in bed again. But it was no good. Only the embers of her anger remained. She didn’t have the energy to retain her wrath. Deep down, she knew Fluttershy didn’t have any malice or selfishness in her. She was just awkward. Right… It’s not like she was just waiting for Timber and I to break up…
Thinking back, Twilight recalled Fluttershy had actually offered help with her relationship with Timber on two occasions. She’d been supportive. In spite of her own feelings for me, Twilight supposed.
Then again… When Twilight remembered what Fluttershy had actually done to help, she was given pause. When I was trying to decipher that weird text from Timber, she just told me that animal emoji solve everything. And then on that other date, she handed me a container full of bugs…
Granted, things had worked out well, but retrospectively, Fluttershy seemed suspicious… Was she trying to sabotage my dates? Or maybe she just wasn’t putting in much effort. With the texting thing, Fluttershy hadn’t really acknowledged the contents of the original text, nor had she tried to decipher them.
Twilight shook her head and sighed. She supposed it didn’t really matter one way or another. Her thoughts drifted for a moment. Then she thought back on what had happened yesterday, and on Fluttershy’s accusation. When she thought back on all the specifics of their conversation, Twilight wondered if Fluttershy had been right. She supposed she had said some strange things. And why had she kept comparing Fluttershy to Timber? If she thought about it from Fluttershy’s perspective, she had given a lot of weird signals. Even with Fluttershy’s awkward mistletoe thing, Twilight recalled saying something that may have given Fluttershy the wrong idea.
It surprised me because I didn’t think she’d actually do it, but I did make a verbal acknowledgment and ask if she wanted me to kiss her. I guess with all the stuff I said, it’s no wonder she got confused… But why did I say and do all that stuff?
Twilight interrogated her feelings for Fluttershy. I do really like Fluttershy… I’ve always enjoyed hanging out with her… And I think about her a lot… But I just assumed I liked her as a friend and never stopped to wonder if those feelings were… something else…
Twilight grimaced. Could the reason she’d said so much weird stuff truly have been that, deep down, her feelings for Fluttershy were the same as Fluttershy’s were for her? Fluttershy is… quite attractive, I suppose… But could it really be that I’m in love with her?
Then she remembered the carnival, and the embers of her wrath flared up once more. Why am I even worrying about this?! She doesn’t even like me anyways! It’s the other Twilight! Princess Twilight! It’s got nothing to do with me!
So long as she held onto that memory of Fluttershy confusing the two of them, Twilight was certain the bitterness in her heart would not subside. She rolled over and lay on her back, glaring at the ceiling. I never want to see her again!
Twilight’s brooding was interrupted by a knock at the door. Startled, she sat upright. “H-Hello?” The door opened, and Applejack stepped inside, wearing a cautious expression. Twilight’s eyes were drawn to the wrapped gift in her hands. It was bumpy, irregularly shaped, and the wrapping paper was covered in reindeer.
“Hey, Twi…” Applejack began. “Know you’re upset and all, but you both left before the exchange, and Fluttershy had left you a gift under the tree… Thought you should have it.”
“Okay… Sure…” Twilight accepted the gift as Applejack handed it to her. Through the wrapping she could tell it was soft. And squishy.
“You, uh, need anything? Need to talk?” Applejack sat down on Twilight’s bed. She put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a searching look.
With all of her worries and confusion, Twilight’s first instinct was to hug Applejack and unburden herself. But something held her back. Words echoed in Twilight’s head: “Is there any reason you went to Applejack first … instead of me?”
Was Fluttershy jealous? But that’s so silly… I don’t need to sort out my feelings for Applejack, because she’s just … my good friend Applejack. Still… Though she had no reason to be considerate of Fluttershy’s feelings after that fight, for some reason thinking about hugging Applejack and accepting her help made her heart ache. She came to a realization: No matter what, I don’t want to hurt Fluttershy… Even if I’m mad at her… And I know she didn’t mean to hurt me… She’s too kind for that.
Twilight smiled apologetically at Applejack. “That’s okay. I’m doing better now.”
“Well, alright… If you’re sure…” Applejack stood, but lingered a moment. “Listen, I don’t know what happened, but … are you and Fluttershy gonna be alright?”
“I don’t know.”
“Mind tellin’ me what the two of you said to each other that got you both riled up?”
“Well, I … I think that’s between me and her… Sorry, Applejack.”
“It’s alright.” With a heavy sigh, Applejack made for the door. “I really hope you two can make up. The pair of ya were like two peas in a pod, and ain’t right for you to fight.”
After Applejack departed, Twilight returned her attention to the gift. After shaking it and prodding it a few times, she thought she had a pretty good idea of what it was. It’s from Fluttershy, after all…
Awaking, Spike wagged his tail when he saw the gift. “What’s that? Treats?!”
Twilight chuckled. “No, Spike, I don’t think so.” After finding the tape, Twilight was able to remove the wrapping paper without tearing it. Inside was a stuffed animal—a sassy looking purple dog with a beret. But something else was in there. Packed with the stuffed animal was a dog biscuit.
“I knew I smelled a treat!”
Seeing it had surprised her, but Twilight soon handed the treat over to Spike, who gobbled it up in an instant. Twilight frowned. “Well, this is Fluttershy, after all… Guess I should’ve known she’d have left something for Spike too…”
A handwritten card came with the present. It simply read, “I hope you never feel like you’re alone, Twilight! Love, your friend, Fluttershy.” Reading that, Twilight felt her face grow hot. It wasn’t the “love” at the end, but rather the sincerity of the message. Fluttershy said she didn’t want her to feel lonely, and she truly must have believed plushies were the answer to that.
Twilight held the purple dog in her hands. It was rather childish considering they were in high school already… But she was cute. Twilight hugged the plush to her chest. Then her gaze fell over her phone again. I should probably reply…
Picking up her phone, she typed up a thanks to Fluttershy comprised only of emoji: a present, a dog, and a heart. She thought that would convey the message that she loved the gift.
Yet, the heart emoji gave her pause. I couldn’t possibly send her that when things are so weird between us right now! She erased the whole message. Then she wrote it out again, exactly as before. And then she erased it again and found a thanks sticker with a puppy to send instead.
She repeated erasing and typing five times, before sprawling onto her bed and giving up. She couldn’t bring herself to write anything to Fluttershy right now. Her feelings were a muddled mess, and it was all Fluttershy’s fault. That carnival… Those memories of hers… with the other Twilight… Anger blazed in her heart anew. She wasn’t sure she could forgive Fluttershy.
But she knew she couldn’t keep going on like this—she couldn’t keep spiraling back into anger over and over. Twilight picked up her phone again, but not to text. There was probably only one way to figure this out. She navigated to the animal shelter’s website.
Clack!
“Oh no! Are you alright, Mr. Kitty?! I’m so sorry!”
At the shelter, Fluttershy dropped a cat carrier. She hurriedly checked to make sure the kitty inside was okay. He meowed his discontent, but indicated he hadn’t been hurt, to Fluttershy’s relief. She gave him a treat by way of apology, and also let him out to roam the room. Nobody else is here today, so it’s fine…
Fluttershy sighed. It was the fourth thing she’d dropped that day—though the first three had just been the same pencil, three times. Clearly, I’m a little distracted… She supposed “a little” was an understatement. She hadn’t stopped thinking of Twilight since that whole thing had happened a few days ago. Her mind was consumed with worry and anxiety. She kept checking her phone too, but Twilight hadn’t sent any animal emojis. Not that I deserve them… If she wants to cut me out of her life, after what I did, I guess I can’t blame her…
Fluttershy folded her hands over her dress and hung her head. She sighed again. She was supposed to clean the hamster habitat, but she’d gotten behind schedule from standing around and feeling sorry for herself. She knew she should stop moping and get to it, but the anxiety inside of her weighed her down and kept her feet sluggish.
As she was feeling that way, she heard the door open. Oh no! Someone looking for a pet? I can’t mess this up by being so out of it! Pull yourself together, Fluttershy! But when she looked towards the doorway, she saw not a potential pet adopter, but Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy’s heart stopped.
Twilight wore a solemn, guarded expression as she stood there. Fluttershy dared not approach her. They stared at each other a while. Finally, Twilight walked closer, donning a nervous smile.
“I checked the schedule to see when you’d be here…”
Fluttershy, lips dry, swallowed. “T-Twilight… A-Are you still mad at me?”
“A little… But I wanted to talk to you. To figure things out.”
Fluttershy winced. What does she mean? Fear threatened to swallow her up, and so she cried out, “Twilight, I just … More than anything, I don’t want to lose you as a friend…”
“Fluttershy… We’re still friends and that’s not going to change.”
A wave of relief washed over Fluttershy. Though some of her anxiety remained, Twilight’s reassurances cast aside Fluttershy’s worst fears. The corners of her lips turned up in a shaky smile.
“I know I must’ve worried you… And I’m sorry. But I wanted to talk in person. About what happened. You really put me on the spot there with that, um… kiss…”
Recoiling from Twilight’s glower, Fluttershy screwed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry, Twilight! I shouldn’t have!”
Fluttershy felt Twilight’s hands on her shoulders. Opening her eyes, she met Twilight’s gaze. She wasn’t glowering at all. She looked worried. Had Fluttershy imagined it before?
Twilight shook her head. “You don’t have to be sorry. You were awkward, but I know you’re not the best at … communication. And maybe neither am I, when it comes to certain things… I know I said some things that confused you. And it confused me too… As far as that kiss goes… I was partly to blame, so I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Twilight,” Fluttershy said when she saw her friend’s pained look. “I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking.”
“You did ask though. And I acknowledged it… I can’t blame you for that. And I… maybe some part of me did want…” Twilight’s words trailed off.
Fluttershy waited for Twilight to continue. Eventually, she took a deep breath and did.
“What I really want to know—what I’m mad about—is whether I’m really the one you’re in love with. Or is it the other Twilight?”
“Oh…” Fluttershy cast her gaze down at the floor. She’d given the question a lot of thought over the past few days, and though she felt she’d always known the answer, she now thought she could give an explanation.
“You’re the one I love, Twilight… I’ve spent so much more time with you than I did with her…”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “But that’s not the whole story, is it?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Yes… Sometimes I thought I loved Princess Twilight too. I think it’s true that these feelings started for her. I have memories of both of you, and it’s so confusing… I can’t help that… And she was precious to me too. She saved my friendships with everyone. But she’s a princess, and a pony… and I think she must have her own Fluttershy. That must be why, that time at the carnival… She got carried away because she forgot I’m not her Fluttershy. Whatever she meant by it, it was nice to be so loved, and to feel so close to her… But that love wasn’t meant for me…”
Twilight’s lip curled. She took a step back and crossed her arms, closing herself off. She turned away from Fluttershy and only watched her out of the corner of her eye. Bitterly, she asked, “Even if she did have someone else, what makes you so sure that she’s not still the one you love?”
“Because… Because of what she taught me. She helped me with my shyness… she taught me to be bolder… Even though she was only here a short time, she helped me so much. And when I saw you… during the Friendship Games… you seemed so down. I didn’t want you to feel like you were alone. I wanted to share kindness, and to help you the way she helped me.”
Twilight’s gaze softened. In a near whisper, she said, “You did help me…”
“I have so many precious memories with you, Twilight. And all the time we’ve spent together has only made me like you more and more… She’ll always be my friend, but you’re the one I love. I love you more than I ever loved her. I love you more than anything.”
Twilight was quiet for a while. Finally, she said, “I guess that answers that.” She let her arms fall to her sides as she turned to face Fluttershy. Smiling, she said, “‘More than anything?’ It’s surprising, you know? I always felt like you were more interested in Spike than me.”
Fluttershy’s cheeks flushed. “I… I know I can get distracted when taking care of Spike and other pets… It doesn’t mean I don’t like you too.”
Twilight giggled. “I know.”
There was a lull. Twilight lowered her gaze. She frowned and her brow creased as she thought. Fluttershy watched her, feeling nervous. When Twilight looked up, the seriousness of the look she gave further shook up Fluttershy.
“Fluttershy, could you tell me? Some of the times you remember of us together. Just so I can be sure…”
“O-Of course!” Fluttershy answered. “There was the Friendship Games, when we met… The luxury cruise you planned for us…” She recounted her precious memories. Nothing was too trivial, so she listed off everything she could think of, and this time she made sure not to get any memories of the other Twilight mixed up with her precious memories of the girl she loved.
Satisfied, Twilight smiled. “Okay, I believe you, Fluttershy…” She held out both of her hands. After some initial hesitation, Fluttershy clasped them with her own. She stared uncertainly into Twilight’s shining eyes.
“Fluttershy, that time you mentioned the other day, at the Skull Crusher concert… I thought you were really cute. Not because of the makeup and outfit though—I like your regular look better. I just thought it was cute how dedicated and passionate you were. And… And it wasn’t the first time I’d thought you were cute.” As she spoke, a blush entered Twilight’s cheeks, and her words grew softer by the end.
Fluttershy’s heart twittered. Did she dare to hope? “R-Really? You mean…?”
Though Fluttershy was desperate to hear her answer, Twilight, with a wistful look, interjected with, “There was also the time you flirted with me on the luxury cruise…”
Fluttershy blinked. “I flirted with you on the luxury cruise?”
Twilight nodded furiously. “Yes. You know, when I said it was luxuriating and then you said it sounded luxurious. It was the way you said it and the way you looked at me. And I remember it made me feel … really happy.”
As she thought, Fluttershy glanced off to the side. “Well, I… I’m not sure about that. But I really liked the petting zoo… And I liked that you thought of me when planning the trip…” After so saying, she looked into Twilight’s eyes once more.
“I’m glad you liked the petting zoo, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now. Come on, you have to remember! It was like this…” Twilight gave Fluttershy a smoldering look for a second. It made Fluttershy’s heart race. Twilight bounced back with a grin. “Could you do it again for me, Fluttershy?”
“Well, um… I’ll try…” Taking a sharp breath, Fluttershy leaned on the counter. She lowered her eyelids, doing her best to replicate the look Twilight had just given her. She batted her eyelashes, then awkwardly said, “H-Hey, Twilight…”
“Pfft! Ha ha ha!” Twilight snorted, then burst into a fit of giggles, causing Fluttershy to blush. Then Twilight wiped away a tear. “Not quite, Fluttershy. But that was pretty cute too.”
“Y-You think so?” Fluttershy felt her face heating up, and her heart filled with joy from being called cute. Yet, some trepidation remained. Things seemed to be going well, but she had to know Twilight’s answer. Clasping her hands together, she asked, “So, um… All of this… And what you said earlier… Does it mean…?”
Twilight nodded, “I think … I might feel the same way as you.”
Fluttershy could hardly believe it. As the love in her heart finally flowed freely, she could only wonder whether this was a dream. Twilight beamed at her, and Fluttershy grinned right back.
“Listen, I… I’m pretty sure I like you too…” Twilight began. “But I did still just go through a breakup, so I’d like to take things slow… I think we should just keep acting like we always have as friends, at least for a month…”
Fluttershy replied right away. “Of course, Twilight. I’m fine with that. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable.”
Twilight smiled, relieved. But then she looked away. Her face flushed red again. “Though before that, there is one thing I’d like to check first…”
“What?” Fluttershy asked.
“Just… one more kiss. A proper one. Just for, you know… science purposes… To be sure, you know?”
Fluttershy felt her cheeks heat up. “Y-Yes. I get it. If that’s what you want, Twilight, then I think we should.”
Twilight leaned towards her and puckered her lips. Feeling terribly nervous, Fluttershy drew a sharp breath. And then she moved closer and kissed Twilight.
Fluttershy wasn’t aware of how long they kissed. It had seemed to go on forever. And yet, at some point it was over and they were separated. And the two of them, cheeks red and still clasping each other’s hands, merely stared into the other’s eyes for the longest time.
“S-So? What’s your, um, scientific conclusion?”
“Oh, I, um…” Twilight stuttered and her face turned a deep crimson, but she managed to answer: “Yeah. I think you and me has been scientifically validated.”
Fluttershy smiled. She couldn’t have been happier.