Chapter Text
I hate Max Verstappen.
The way he walks like the world owes him something.
And as much as I want him to hold in those fucking arms of his, I keep remembering those days when I sobbed into a pillow, wondering what I did wrong.
I looked at the boy next to him, my teammate, everyone’s favorite rookie, Kimi Antonelli.
I live in a teammate's shadow once again.
I was never enough for Mercedes, and now for Max.
—
Drivers Parade: Canada 2026
“…fuck” I muttered under my breath, “Kimi, the car broke down.”
Kimi stared at me, but he didn’t look shocked; well, he did, but it wasn’t convincing enough, as if he knew this was coming. He tried his very hardest to play the “shocked rookie”. God, Andrea, you can do better than that.
And the Red Bull Car stopped next to us.
And God, I knew Kimi noticed when my breath caught.
“Kimi!” Hadjar beamed, "Nico's car is pulling up, he’ll let you join.”
I stared at Max Verstappen, my ex-boyfriend, the love of my life.
“Hadjar–”
“Hop in! I need to get a podium,” he smiled. Grinned.
So, I did get into that cramped shit-mobile in the back with Max next to me, too close for an ex-lover, too broken to say anything.
Hadjar’s off-key singing of “Careless Whisper” felt distant; everything did.
I remember Max’s off-key singing at Christmas last year.
I remember when he whispered in my ear, telling me I’m the one.
I remember sobbing into his arms when I disqualified.
And now he’s gone.
The love of my life was gone. Not dead. But gone from my life.
—
Race Day: Canada 2026
This marks the 3rd week of him being gone.
I sound obsessive, don’t I?
***
“GEORGE RUSSELL IS LEADING IN FIRST PLACE!” I hear in the faint background of my radio.
“I-I’m first right now?”
The person on my radio tiredly says back, “Yes, George, you want a cookie?”
“Wha- why are you being so rude…?”
“I’m kidding, champ. You should learn to take a joke, we’re prepping for a pit.”
“We’re on the soft, right?”
“…”
“RIGHT?”
***
Champagne Podium: Canada 2026
I got second, second to Max Verstappen… again.
I left before the interview ended.
But… but I heard this familiar voice by my door frame.
“George…?”
I looked up with my red-rimmed eyes and all, my voice laced with fury.
“Max.”
“Schatt, please–”
“Don’t call me that.”
“George..”
“What. Do. You. Want.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck you.”
He stepped closer, god I wanted to run into his arms and sob my eyes out on his shoulder. I wanted him to kiss me and tell me everything was okay.
He kneeled to my level and took my head in his hands.
And I swatted him away.
“You loved your team more than me, Max. You loved them more.”
“No, George—”
“Keep my name out of your mouth. You said the team found out—said they’d force you to stop racing. So answer me. Do you love racing more than you ever loved me?”
“George, please—”
“Don’t. Just shut up. I don’t want to hear your messed-up excuses.”
“And I don’t want to see you cry…”
And that broke me a little inside.
“George–”
“Leave Max. Please.”