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"Say, Dazai-san, are there any stores nearby with good prices on chocolate?"
This was an innocent question. Almost pure, even. But this was Atsushi asking it, and Valentine's Day was in exactly a week.
The bandaged man's interest was immediately piqued.
He straightened his posture from where he'd been slumped against his desk, doing absolutely nothing besides making paper airplanes and sending them careening all the way to Kunikida's desk. He slowly turned in his chair, the long-winded squeak coming from its hinges painstakingly elongated. He looked at Atsushi with a mischievous light in his normally dark ochre eyes, but the younger of the two didn't notice it.
In fact, Atsushi wasn't even looking up, but instead timidly tugging at the black fabric of one of his gloves.
"Why are you asking me, Atsushi-kun?" Dazai trilled, resting his chin on his palm. "Is there a special someone you want to buy chocolate for?"
In Atsushi's defense, he tried very hard not to let the red color of embarrassment pigment his cheeks. He did not prevail.
"Maybe," Atsushi shrugged, attempting to appear casual and not at all desperate. (He was, in fact, desperate.)
Dazai's smile was reminiscent of resembling the Cheshire Cat's. "And who would this lucky person be?"
"Er..no one important." Atsushi pretended to reread one of his reports, keeping his eyes down. It's not like Dazai could read minds but God he did not want his mentor to find out who it was.
"Why don't you go to Ranpo-san for advice on sweets? He's got to know more than I do," Dazai prodded.
Because if I talk to Ranpo-san about it, he'll figure it out in about two seconds.
"Dazai-san, you're not being very helpful," Atsushi said dryly.
"I'll help you if you tell me who it is you plan to give chocolates."
"Are you that nosy?"
Dazai's grin grew wider, Atsushi never ceasing to entertain him. The stubborn weretiger was a better subordinate than his old boy, Akutagawa, in Dazai's opinion—
Ah, wait.
"Atsushi-kun, it wouldn't happen that Akutagawa-kun is the one you're wanting to give chocolate to?"
Atsushi stood up very abruptly from his desk, the approximate color of a tomato, and cleared his throat. He stared straight ahead and didn't even look at Dazai.
"Oh, hey, you know, I think I heard Kyouka-chan calling me, so, um. Yeah. Bye, Dazai-san," he hurriedly lied in excuse, acting like he'd just been shocked by electricity.
He then proceeded to get the hell out of there.
Dazai turned back to his "work" (which was in the form of doing anything to avoid work and strangulation from Kunikida— death was welcome but pain was not), humming an old song, letting Atsushi run off. He knew enough now.
Akutagawa-kun, hmm?
~~
Okay, so, Operation: Casually Ask Dazai-san For Advice On What To Do About Valentine's Day But Not Too Casually So He Isn't Suspicious was an official failure. Atsushi sighed.
So what if he maybe like liked Akutagawa? There was no harm in that. Probably.
And maybe, just maybe, he'd wanted to give Akutagawa some chocolates for Valentine's. It was just a little something. He knew the mafioso liked sweets. Or wait, did he hate sweets? Was Atsushi wrong? Oh God, what if he hates the chocolate? You know what, it's a stupid idea, he's gonna hate it, Akutagawa hates everything, Akutagawa hates him—
Atsushi took a deep breath, then exhaled, leaning against the wall of the hallway he'd escaped to to avoid Dazai.
It would be fine. Everything would be fine. If Akutagawa murdered him and fed his remains into a wood chipper for giving him chocolate on Valentine's Day, then so be it.
He resisted the urge to sigh again. Having a crush on Akutagawa, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, of all people, was not easy. Atsushi knew he wasn't even supposed to have feelings for him, with him being a criminal, and a murderer, and a terrorist, and... Yeah, it wasn't cool, alright?
But he couldn't stop his feelings. He felt bad about it, in a way. Yet every time he tried to play pretend and act like Akutagawa didn't send butterflies alight in his stomach whenever he so much as looked at Atsushi, the weretiger promptly failed.
Akutagawa was everything Atsushi ever wanted, with his stupid hair, and his stupid, handsome face, and his stupid dry sense of humor, and his stupid air of superiority, and the stupid fact that actually he didn't have that air of superiority around Atsushi because he actually treated Atsushi like his equal as of late and—
Atsushi hung his head in his hands. He was overthinking it. The detective rolled his eyes, Akutagawa somehow frustrating him without even being there.
He just needed to shut his brain off, find some good chocolate for a good price, and shove it into Akutagawa's hands before the mafioso knows what's going on, and then run away like a coward, on the 14th.
Simple, right?
~~
"Okay, we only have one more store left to go to," Yosano said, looking at the paper list of errands in her hands. Generally, the everyday Yokohama mall was packed at this time of day, but Yosano had the type of no-nonsense attitude around her that made people shut up and be nervously polite. Useful.
"That store should be up ahead soon, but you can just wait outside, Atsushi-kun.."
After getting no response, she whirled around. There was no Atsushi. Well, actually, there was, but he was 10 yards away, staring at the window display of one of the shops, Yosano's purchases in plastic bags hanging from his limbs like the gardens of Babylon.
She walked over to him, curious, her red heels clicking against the linoleum of the mall.
"Interested in something?" she raised a brow.
Atsushi blushed slightly. "Not really. I guess. I was just..."
His gaze fell back on the flowers in the window, a hundred and one different kinds of roses on display, for every emotion and every type of person. The prices were outrageous (in Atsushi's opinion, but he had no idea about flowers and how much they should cost), so he could never afford to buy any. Not unless a miracle happened.
Yosano smiled, which was a rare thing to see unless she had a patient to cut open and sew back together. She didn't know who Atsushi was crushing on, and most likely couldn't guess, but it was interesting to see the boy like this.
"Do you want to go inside?"
"No," Atsushi turned back to her, "I don't think I could afford any of those."
"You know, traditionally, on Valentine's Day in Japan," Yosano started, "the girl gives the guy the flowers, or whatever it is you've got to give, not the other way around."
"Well, there's no girl in this situation.." Atsushi mumbled, face pink.
"Oh?" Yosano was amused even more now. "Who's the lucky boy, then?"
"Absolutely no one. It— it doesn't really matter," Atsushi replied hurriedly, knowing Yosano didn't have anything up her sleeve (unlike a certain someone whose name rhymed with Schmazai Schmosamu), and meant the best in her own way. But this did not mean he was going to spill the beans on anything that could be immediately put into the Agency group chat.
Yosano pursed her lips, she'd been expecting that. "I think you should go inside," she prompted, "maybe you'll find a deal on flowers in there. Something affordable."
"You think so?" He eyed the flowers again. The red roses were taunting him. The doctor's words were emboldening him.
He was already in the store before Yosano could reply.
"I'll be at the last store on the list!" she shouted over the head of the crowd and the bustle of the mall, assuming Atsushi heard with his tiger-sharpened ears.
Inside the flower was shoppe was...an experience. Atsushi was thankful the shop was mostly empty though, but if an employee came over asked him what he was looking for, his soul might leave his body.
The smell of the store was strong, but less like a punch to the face and more like a candle. A floral one at that. A hundred different scents floated through Atsushi's senses, sweet and fragrant.
But which one would Akutagawa like?
Atsushi subconsciously drifted over to the black roses. He had no idea if black roses were different from red roses or even pink ones besides the color, but he did know that Akutagawa wore a lot of black. Like, a lot. One time he ran into Akutagawa at a convenience store and the older man had been wearing black sunglasses, black pants, black sneakers and even a black turtleneck sweater.
And we're not going to talk about how criminally hot Akutagawa looked in that sweater. Or about how Atsushi had the mafioso in that sweater on his mind for about a week afterwards.
Who would talk about things like that?
You're crazy.
Anyways, Atsushi eventually wandered away from the synthetic roses, finding every color of the rainbow and something called "ponyhead", but he didn't find the right flowers.
Serious talk, what would Akutagawa like? Or, at least, which selection of flowers would make Akutagawa least likely to turn him into a tiger skin rug?
Atsushi frowned as he realized he didn't know what the raven-haired man's preference would be (although them sitting down after a joint mission and discussing their tastes in botany would be kind of weird in hindsight).
He didn't like how little he knew about Akutagawa. It was actually kind of funny, he knew so many personal things about the mafioso. His obsession with Dazai's validation, the reason to live he was given, even about his sickness...
But he didn't even know Akutagawa's favorite color.
Why don't you just ask him? said a voice in his head. A voice that was clearly out of touch with reality because you can't just ask Akutagawa stuff.
Well...maybe Atsushi could. But Atsushi was the exception.
He felt his cheeks heat in front of the chrysanthemums as he thought about this, for probably the 100 millionth time.
Akutagawa treated him differently. That was his one hope in that his crush wasn't painstakingly, embarrassingly, horribly one-sided. Because maybe Akutagawa liked him. Tolerated him. Tolerate, tolerate was a definite.
Maybe a little more than tolerate, actually, after some consideration. Akutagawa did die for him that one time. And he acted a lot less rude, relatively, towards Atsushi in comparison to other people. Sure, he was prickly and bitter, but jeez, he was amazing too.
Atsushi didn't see any way to not fall in love with Akutagawa. He was impressive as hell, his wit was on par with Atsushi's, and in the quiet moments, when they could just be themselves, Akutagawa might be the only guy who ever truly understood him. And he didn't kill anymore! (Courtesy of a certain weretiger.)
The knowledge of being in love with Akutagawa was not new to Atsushi, though. His feelings had been growing for months now, and at this point the mere mention of the mafioso sent his heart rate up.
And sometimes he lied awake at night thinking about every single instance he'd come into physical contact with Akutagawa.
In a normal way. He was so normal about Akutagawa. Totally. One hundred percent.
Which is why he wanted this Valentine's to be perfect! He didn't want to be clueless, he wanted to get just the right thing for Akutagawa, even if he wasn't some cute girl but instead a detective with a bad case of lycanthropy, not to mention the fact that he was, well, a boy.
The agonizing internal debate Atsushi had on whether or not Akutagawa was gay would haunt Atsushi's soul until his last moment on earth. He had currently decided on the nice, soft answer of maybe.
He blinked. He'd been staring at lily of the valley for five minutes now. Awkward.
He noticed in his peripheral vision that an employee was coming near him, so with no flowers and no prices his wallet wouldn't keel over for, he scurried out of the flower shoppe, disappointed.
Chocolates. He'd have to get chocolates, since the flower business was so adamant on him being robbed blind if he were to shop there.
~~
Atsushi leaned against the cramped counter, absentmindedly watching the kettle boil. It was five days until February 14th, also known as Valentine's Day, also known as the bane of Atsushi's mental health, and also known as February 9th.
"Are you alright?"
Atsushi almost jumped at the sudden sound of Kyouka's voice filling their shared apartment, but he'd gotten used to it, and the girl's curt, albeit soft, personality.
"I'm..I'm fine, Kyouka-chan. Don't worry."
Relatively, virtually, he was fine. No missing limbs (miraculously), no blood anywhere, he'd even gotten enough sleep.
But then there was the small matter of him being eaten alive by his feelings for Akutagawa because of course he falls for the most unattainable person he's ever met.
Kyouka studied him with round, dark blue eyes, like inset amethysts. She knew something was wrong, she always knew. Young people were always better at perceiving than others.
"Is this about somebody you like?"
Atsushi had no control over the color his face turned, which was crimson.
"What makes you say that?"
Kyouka shrugged. "It seems like it to me. From the way you look. You're always off daydreaming, and Dazai-san mentioned something about Valentine's and you."
"Oh. Well, I mean...you're right," Atsushi confessed, taking the kettle off the stove before it started shrieking like a banshee. "There is someone."
"Are you dating?"
Atsushi grabbed two mugs from the cabinets, not showing the shock on his face. He grabbed houjicha tea bags along the way.
Houjicha. Akutagawa's favorite, said yet another voice in the back of his head. It seemed this specific voice's sole purpose was to remind him about Akutagawa. Atsushi liked this voice more than the depressing ones.
"No, we're not dating. He doesn't even know I like him," Atsushi replied, calmly slipping in the fact that it was a guy, and not a girl.
Kyouka didn't seem surprised.
"Are you going to tell him this Valentine's?" asked Kyouka. She didn't know much about romance besides her long-gone parents and what she'd read in far-fetched shoujo manga. But she knew Atsushi was being bugged by something, and she wanted to help, at least with support.
"That's the plan. Or the parts of a plan? I don't really know what to do," He mumbled as he poured the water, effectively making tea. He itched to add sugar to it but didn't want Kyouka making a habit out of it too.
Kyouka tolerated a full minute of silence before softly breaking the quiet, hands around a green tea mug.
"Who is it?"
Atsushi never wanted to face this moment, but lo and behold, it was happening.
Did he have time to get out his phone and Google ‘how to break it to your honorary sibling that you have a crush on her abuser?’ Probably not. Maybe.
Atsushi's lips were thin as he thought about telling Kyouka. It'd do a lot more good to just be honest and tell her now, wouldn't it? Instead of awkwardly avoiding it, or even worse, Dazai being the one to inform her about his "situation."
But he knew Kyouka's relationship with Akutagawa. He'd seen it. It wasn't pretty. Yet he also knew that Akutagawa had practically apologized, according to Kyouka, saying he was glad she found a life worth living.
That did not mean their problems were under the bridge, but Kyouka had never seemed like the type of girl to be unforgiving, to Atsushi. She would most likely be upset, anyway though.
Just rip the bandaid off, Atsushi.
He very quietly, but clearly, enunciated, voice like a whisper.
"It's Akutagawa."
He then proceeded to not make eye contact. He felt too ashamed.
Kyouka did not make a noise for a few very long and very painful moments that made Atsushi feel like he should regret existing (which he already did quite a lot).
"Akutagawa?" she repeated, looking at Atsushi with eyes that held no judgement. At least he thought it was no judgement. He didn't deserve that mercy, though.
Atsushi finally looked up again, cheeks hot. "Yeah. I know, he's not the greatest person ever, but—"
Kyouka held up her hand gently, leaving Atsushi's sentence silenced and unfinished.
"You don't need to explain yourself," Kyouka said in her usual monotone, but Atsushi could tell it was softer. He sometimes felt like while Kyouka was only a 14 year old child, she was quite mature for her age when it came to human emotions.
"I may have always assumed." She clarified.
Atsushi tried his best to not choke on his tea, which was burning his tongue but at least it gave him something to do. "Really?"
"I see the way you look at him," she answered, "or how whenever someone mentions him, you're always on his side. And that's..." she contemplated it for a minute.
She should be angry, really. Crestfallen. Her savior and the man she considered to be her older brother and protector had caught feelings for her abuser. It truly wasn't a good situation.
But Kyouka couldn't find it in herself to be as mad as she should be, because in all honesty, if Atsushi was happy, she was happy. It was like the universe's epitome of mixed feelings.
She did certainly believe he had shit taste in men though.
"It's fine." She completed, giving him a small smile, and it was genuine. It reminded him of the comforting smile she would give Kenji or Ranpo when either of them weren't in high spirits.
"Really? You don't..mind?" Atsushi returned the smile. He didn't even know why he'd be afraid of this conversation because the chances of Akutagawa liking him back and them becoming a thing, was like super duper slim. Itsy bitsy teeny tiny. (At least that's what he thought.)
He may be on Akutagawa's I-guess-I-won't-seriously-try-to-kill-you-anymore side, but he didn't believe he was on Akutagawa's good side. If Akutagawa even had a good side.
Atsushi was sorely mistaken, anyway. Maybe it was because they were both orphans, or because they were shunned by society and deemed as unworthy, or because they both had really bad haircuts, but Atsushi and Akutagawa were both really dense when it came to love.
Love could hit Atsushi in the face with a grandfather clock and he'd still have his doubts.
Kyouka shook her head softly. "No, I don't mind. If you really feel that way towards him, then that's how you feel."
She paused before adding; "Also, I think Akutagawa deserves a chance to know what it's like to be loved."
~~
Four days.
FOUR DAYS.
Fourdaysfourdaysfourdaysfourdaysfourdaysfourdays.
Okay, agonizing about it didn't make it any better!
But not worrying about it didn't make it any better either!
Atsushi still had no clue what to do for Valentine's besides chocolates. And did just simply chocolates satisfy Atsushi? Actually maybe. He wasn't sure. He was still trawling through all the options.
He could bake a cake but that's too birthday-y.
Hand making the chocolates seemed way too expensive and hard.
He could knit Akutagawa something but he didn't know how to knit.
He could try to get some of Akutagawa's murder charges taken off his record as a gift but that also seemed too birthday-y.
Chocolates. Was chocolates really the answer. Or did he need to do something else?
The whole point was that he wanted, needed, to get his feelings across. Even if Akutagawa decided to smite him out of existence or something for it, he couldn't not.
Atsushi also sometimes thought about what if Akutagawa rejected him and that was it, that was the end of their relationship, their partnership?
Atsushi couldn't live without Akutagawa. That much was true. And he knew it was true because the days when he had thought Akutagawa was dead for good, it was hell. A hell that haunted him and hurt him in a way he didn't know was possible.
Something about Akutagawa was a force that attracted Atsushi, pulling him in and holding him tight. Atsushi didn't want it to let go.
You know, really, he might actually prefer being turned into weretiger jam on the concrete than receive the cold shoulder permanently from the mafioso.
He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought, barely paying attention to the report he was writing on some case about an ability user that they'd had to arrest recently (she kept turning dogs different colors without their owner's permissions, and it's quite annoying to wake up and find that your golden retriever is key lime green, and it won't come off).
Overthinking would be the death of him. He'd like to focus on something, anything, else, because his stupid crush on Akutagawa was insistent on him being aware of it at all times.
"You look like shit." Tanizaki suddenly commented, coming up to Atsushi with two steaming mugs full of coffee, plopping one down on Atsushi's desk.
"Thanks." he replied, both for the drink and the observation, picking up the hot beverage. He took a sip, not sweet enough.
"Is there a reason why you look like shit?" Tanizaki continued, the redhead straight to the point. "The bags under your eyes look like Naomi when she stays up all night to cram-study."
"You guessed right," Atsushi gave a wry smile, his face paler than usual and violet rings under his eyes. "I don't know, I've just been having some trouble sleeping."
"Oh? Over what?" Tanizaki drank his coffee, not expecting what Atsushi said next at all.
"What to get Akutagawa for Valentine's."
"What?"
Atsushi decided he wasn't going to keep his feelings that much a secret anymore, ever since he'd admitted it to Kyouka. He was really avoiding telling Kunikida or Fukuzawa though because they might be adverse to him having the hots for a guy who's blown up a police station.
Tanizaki gave him one of the most judgemental stares he'd ever received.
"Akutagawa." Tanizaki said, for clarification.
"Yes."
"You mean the guy who tried to murder me— the guy who tried to murder you!"
"Dreamy, isn't he?" Atsushi deadpanned sarcastically, although God, he actually was dreamy. Akutagawa was really, really hot. Too hot for his own good in Atsushi's opinion.
The amount of times Atsushi had fantasied about Akutagawa fucking him is classified information though, unfortunately. Government only. And what the government wants to do with that information, I have no idea.
"Are you like, going crazy, Atsushi-kun?"
Atsushi slumped his head against his desk, forehead first, mug handle in his grip as the drink rested on the wood grain.
"Maybe." He mumbled. "Sometimes I feel like it. And sometimes I wish Akutagawa wasn't super touchy and I could just tell him I like him."
"I'm not even going to ask why you're attracted to that goth jerk." Tanizaki replied, "I don't like him. But I mean like, if you do, go for it I guess? Valentine's is the perfect excuse for this kind of stuff."
This kind of stuff was referring to the teetering instability of Atsushi's current emotions. Lovely. He'd been through a lot of shit, a lot, and now matters of the heart were threatening to turn him into a pathetic mess on the 14th.
He can't mess this up.
He sighed.
Chocolates, it is.
~~
Atsushi was genuinely amazed he got sleep the night of, especially since he'd been on pins and needles for the past few days. He awoke feeling refreshed, energized, and full of dread. Better than nothing.
Today was the day. The day he told Akutagawa he liked him. If they had normal lives and were normal people, they could've met in college. No past of attempting to murder the other. No abilities, either.
But neither Atsushi nor Akutagawa were anywhere near "normal people", so catching feelings for a mafioso seemed inevitable in Atsushi's cards. On the bright side though, they were closer to being considered normal people than they were to being considered lobster people.
As he got ready for work, he decided on how he was going to word his text on meeting up to Akutagawa. Something curt, like how the mafioso preferred, but also something that didn't make it sound like Atsushi was inviting him to fight to the death?
He stared at his phone judgementally while he put on his (admittedly very odd) uniform, slipping on his fingerless gloves.
He and Akutagawa had previously exchanged numbers a few months ago for easier communication, and for a while, all their texts consisted of the current mission's rendezvous and further information surrounding it.
Then Atsushi had stumbled across a video of a black cat with white patches, and it reminded him awfully a lot of the older man, in a funny way. So he'd taken his chances and sent the video to Akutagawa, along with the message "This cat kinda looks like you, don't you think?"
It was semi payback for the amount of cat comments Akutagawa made on Atsushi's appearance.
My belt doesn't look like a tail, he grumbled mentally as he recalled the memory, tightening said belt before grabbing his tie.
Akutagawa didn't reply to his text with anything at all, until two full weeks of silence after, when Akutagawa sent him a link to a different cat video, featuring a black cat and a white cat playfully fighting and batting at each other, with no other message.
It gave Atsushi hope.
(Although the two weeks of silence made him cringe about how stupid he'd been because of course Akutagawa's not going to respond to a cat video, and Atsushi wallowed in regret.)
And now, amongst addresses and information about culprits in their messages to one another, there lied a history of cat video links and Atsushi's awkward comments.
The thought of it made him blush.
He eventually picked up his phone, pulled up Akutagawa's contact, took a breath, and typed and sent the message.
Hey, akutagawa, meet me at the pier at 6pm, okay? It's important.
He'd debated adding "please come" to the end of the text, but that sounded too desperate. Atsushi just really, really hoped Akutagawa would show up.
Somewhere deep in his heart, he knew the dark-haired man would.
Akutagawa always showed up for him, didn't he?
~~
Atsushi tapped his foot nervously while keeping one of his hands tight on the rail that lined the Yokohama pier.
It was chilly out, gusts of wind howling and freezing against his skin, yet there was no snow. The sea reflected the cold season of February, the water an icy blue hue and fading to a deep navy as the waves churned, making ships atop the surface rock like cradles.
Atsushi had passed multiple couples along the way on his trip to the pier, people lost in their own Valentine's. He was happy for those people, sure, but also the sight of girls giving the boys they loved chocolates and gifts and the boys actually liking it made his worries grow stronger.
Those people seemed to have it so, so simple.
Meanwhile Atsushi...well, he was just trying to keep his nerves in check.
He kept his eyes on the water, right hand still grasping a box of chocolates. He thanked God he managed to find chocolates that came in black packaging, with a red ribbon keeping it shut. It was perfect.
The city bustle and chatter melted into background noise, mixed with the crashing of the ocean and the trundle of cars speeding past.
Then one voice cut through all of it.
"Weretiger."
Atsushi turned to his right to see Akutagawa walking up to him, wearing his usual attire but with a slight add on, that being an ash grey scarf wrapped around his neck.
"Akutagawa," Atsushi greeted back, his breath forming a small cloud of condensation in front of his mouth. He hid the chocolates behind his back, hoping the taller male wouldn't notice.
"Why am I here, jinko? What's so important?" Akutagawa cut to the chase, eyes as cold as the weather. "Is Dazai-san involved in this?"
"No, it's not Dazai-san, or a joint mission or anything." Atsushi could already feel a blush creeping up his neck, but maybe Akutagawa would just think his face was red from the cold.
"That doesn't answer my first question." Akutagawa retorted, now only a foot from Atsushi.
"Oh, yeah, well, I..." Atsushi swallowed. "Do you know what today is?"
"February 14th." The mafioso supplied, still glaring at the weretiger with a dubious look. He was an impatient person, but when it came to Atsushi...
"Well, it's also Valentine's Day." Atsushi offered.
"I am aware."
"So I just..."
This was it. Atsushi's ametrine eyes flickered to the ocean, gaze lost for just a second. His face burned, and Akutagawa was supposed to be his enemy, for Christ's sake. He was told Akutagawa was the devil incarnate, yet here he was.
Hopelessly in love.
"I wanted to give you something." The detective cleared his throat. "For Valentine's."
And before Akutagawa could insult him or doubt him, he shoved the box of chocolates into Akutagawa's hands, not giving him a chance to speak.
Oh, his face was red, now.
"I mean, you don't have to like it. It's just chocolate. But I know you like sweet stuff, right?" Atsushi rambled, looking at Akutagawa with uncertainty.
The mafioso was eyeing the square box in his hands, face stoic, before turning up to lock eyes with Atsushi. His expression wasn't one of disgust, to Atsushi's relief.
Instead, he looked...surprised. Shocked.
Some part of Atsushi wanted to take a photo and save it.
"...Happy Valentine's," Atsushi said quietly, the familiar suffocation of tears almost overtaking him. Akutagawa still hadn't said anything—
Why hasn't he said anything?
The mafioso was painfully silent, before opening his mouth and finally speaking.
"Why are you giving this to me?"
Atsushi couldn't believe it.
"Because I like you, Akutagawa. And when I say like you, I don't mean...like a friend, because I..." He exasperatedly confessed. "Well, I thought...I thought you might..."
Oh God, he never should've done this. Never should've given the chocolates to Akutagawa, never should've asked him to meet up, never should've fallen in love, he never should have existed—
"Thank you, then." Akutagawa uttered, surprising Atsushi completely. The mafioso's mouth was in a thin line, neither frowning nor smiling, but his eyes said it all. They were full of light.
"What?" Atsushi lamely spluttered, not believing his ears.
"Are you deaf, jinko?"
"No, I just—" he gestured with his hands. "I thought you might hate me for this."
"I do not hate you."
"Do you like me, then?"
Atsushi didn't know it at the time, but Akutagawa had never wanted to tell Atsushi he loved him more than he did right this moment.
But, instead, what the older man said was, "I can tolerate you enough to accept chocolate." His face was dusted with pink, something very, very rare to see on the mafioso.
Atsushi couldn't help a smile from growing on his face. Maybe there was nothing he'd needed to worry about at all.
He suddenly leaned in close, and kissed Akutagawa on the cheek, light and gentle. Just the start to the kind of love both of them have always craved.
"Enjoy the chocolate," he mumbled, face pink up to the tip of his ears. Before he could fully realize what he just did, he turned around and simply walked away, heart going a million miles per beat.
And that left Akutagawa frozen in place, letting Atsushi go (for now), holding a box of chocolates and his face flushed, a tingling sensation where Atsushi's lips had previously been.
He'd changed, ever since he met Atsushi. He used to kill to show his power, he'd only used Rashomon to harm others, even in the sense of protecting someone else, and he'd been ruthless. He was a monster.
But then the weretiger, that damned weretiger.
That amazing weretiger.
The feeling of intense jealously turning into reluctant admiration turning into love was like someone lit a match and was consuming Akutagawa, until there was nothing left but a new man standing in the ashes.
He lifted his free hand up to his face, touching his cheek.
So the weretiger likes me?
He opened the chocolates, untying the ribbon and revealing the goodies inside. He found a note nestled on top of the wrapping paper, clearly added in by Atsushi himself.
It was small and scribbled on, saying the words "Will you be my Valentine, Akutagawa?"
Akutagawa knew his answer.
As much as they clashed, as much as they were different, it didn't even matter anymore. They were two sides to the same coin, and Akutagawa knew the way he revered the weretiger was what people called loved.
So he silently told the note, yes.