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Elphaba stumbled into the library, head throbbing like something was gnawing on her skull from the inside out. There were three days left until her Life Sciences final with Dr. Nikdik, and she knew that she was behind. The professor had stated that the final would be administered in the form of a timed essay, chosen from one of three sample prompts that had been given a few weeks before.
It wasn’t that Elphaba was procrastinating — Oz knows she didn’t have the luxury to do that with her tenuous position at Shiz already — but every time she read Dr Nikdik’s inane prompts about the superiority of human biology over Animal, she was transported back to a clearing the previous semester. How the Lion cub had trembled, its eyes dark and aware. How could anyone ever argue that he was less than? Elphaba let out a frustrated sigh. She needed to work, and thinking about the Lion cub inevitably made her angry and distracted. The Cub, small tawny body trembling in her arms, the way his tail tucked between his legs when she had passed him to Fiyero — that was the other reason Elphaba couldn’t dwell on this particular train of thought too long. Every time she saw that clearing in her mind’s eye, she found herself replaying the brief moment of contact between her and Fiyero over and over again. She was so sure at first that the strange rush she felt whenever she remembered was just her iron sense of justice being twisted uncomfortably, but what did his soft blue eyes have to do with justice? Or his large, calloused hands, the small, authentic smile he gave as the Cub twisted in his arms, the gentle, care-laden way he had said her name, Elph-
“phaba!” Elphaba jumped, torn from her heady reminiscing by the blue eyed abberation himself. Fiyero was leaning against a bookshelf, eyes narrowed in concern.
“Are you okay? I’ve been calling your name for thirty straight seconds!”
Elphaba instantly flushed.
“No — no, I’m fine, just worried about this stupid essay and how behind I am and how I have no idea what to write and -“
“Whoa, whoa. Slow down.” Fiyero leaned forward to place a hand on her shoulder, and Elphaba’s cheeks darkened even further at the contact.
“It sounds like you’re worried about Dr. Dickhead’s final.” Elphaba stifled a small chuckle.
“Yeah. These prompts — they’re so cruel, and I just can’t bring myself to write about how Animals are less than, but if I don’t, he’ll fail me! What else do I have going for me other than my place at this school? The Wizard has yet to notice me, I barely have a home to go back to, not to mention that if I fail this class, I’m just proving everyone who says terrible things about me right -“
“Fae.” Fiyero slid into the chair next to her and firmly placed his hand on top of hers.
“Breathe. Slow, in and out. In like you’re smelling a poppy, out like you’re blowing a kiss.”
Slowly, Elphaba’s rapid breathing evened again.
“Good job, Fae, that was wonderful.” Fiyero smiled softly at her. Elphaba suddenly felt her heart rate pick up again as the rough pad of his thumb pressed into the back of her hand in reassurance. She opened her mouth to apologize, but Fiyero cut her off before she could speak.
“This is what I was worried about. This is why I came to find you in here. You put so much pressure on yourself Fae, I’m scared you’ll break. I get that this is scary, and that failure feels like a death sentence, but you’re not as alone as you think.”
Elphaba looked straight at him, momentarily stunned into silence.
“You have people in your corner, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. All of your friends love you so much. I —“ Fiyero cut himself off, taking a deep breath before continuing.
“I think you should write what your heart tells you to write on this final. If Dr Nitwit fails you, it’s just another piece of proof that he’s Oz’s most incompetent idiot. And we will be here for you whatever happens.”
Elphaba took a long, centering breath and pressed two fingers to her temple.
“I’m scared, Yero. Failure isn’t an option for people like me.”
“Failure is human, and you deserve to be just as human as anyone else. You deserve to question, and be confused, and have setbacks just like we all do — just like I do. You deserve to do what feels right to you without this agonizing doubt. And please Fae, you deserve to take a break
sometimes.”
Elphaba knew that several sentenced ago she had some witty retort ready to shut him up. But she found that she was finally too tired to put up a fight.
“Alright, Yero. I’ll take a break. Stay with me?”
“Always.”