Work Text:
“ And I've never felt more alone, feels so scary getting old ”
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
One thing that is currently leaving Miyano so uneasy was the fact that their high school days were slowly coming to an end. With practicing graduate ceremonies, the discipline committee no longer needing him, checking his emails awaiting the results from his chosen colleges, Everything around him was reminding him that slowly but surely this was the end of his journey. Everyday was the same, he would get ready, grab his lunch and make the commute to his school, and wait at the gate for his friends to show up before finally entering the school. Classes everyday where the same, just sit there and take notes or sometimes even goof off if the teacher had nothing planned. Everyday, he forced his brain to engrave the memories of him and his friends, to engrave their voices, their faces, their favorite things into his memory. He often found himself more quiet and leaving himself more vulnerable in front of his friends, of course they often notice how his mood shifted so they would lean on his shoulders, hug him a little bit longer and tighter, left their hands lingering a bit more longer on his hair, to show him that they understood what he was feeling, to show him that his wasn’t alone.
If Miyano was being honest, he was completely blowing Sasaki off. Not because he was mad at him but because he wanted more time to hang out with his friends, despite seeing them at school everyday it doesn’t feel enough. It felt as if he needed to cling onto them so that way he could feel a bit better. He knew that he wasn’t being fair to Sasaki but couldn’t find it within him to break from his friends. He felt as if he broke away from his friends that deep down he would regret it, because truth be told his chest felt so tight when he saw his friends, his heart felt so heavy whenever he heard his friends laugh. Miyano was never good with his words but yet he has so many unsaid words that he wants to get out. There's so many things he wants to tell them but doesn't know how to. It's like his body, his emotions, his heart yearns for Kuresawa, Tashiro and Shirahama. While yes its a different type of yearn he has for Sasaki, Something in Miyano just craves for them to always be in his life, honestly if the choice was up to him, he would want to live with them and come back home and be able to greet them as he walks into their house. But deep down he knows he can’t have that, he knows that also deep down he wants to live with Sasaki but the thought of not seeing his friends daily hurts more than he imagined. Everything around him was evidence that he knew he had to let go of them, he knew he wasn’t being fair by always following them, never really letting them hang out with other people, he was being selfish but he couldn’t help it, he didn’t want to let go of them just yet, he couldn’t. ‘Today is the day that i’ll let them breathe’ Miyano told himself, “So where are we going today?” Kuresawa questioned, not looking away from his phone to probably let his girlfriend know he wouldn’t be able to make it. “I was thinking about the beach!!” Tashiro exclaimed excitedly, “oh um I don’t think I can make it” Shirahama said with a frown, “Coach wants us seniors at practice so he could take pictures of us” the platinum hair boy explained. “yea me too.. I have some errands I need to do..” Miyano muttered. All four boys looked upset that today they couldn’t hang out, although they other three don’t really act as clingy like Miyano has currently It doesn't change the fact that they don’t want to be with each other every second of the day. Honestly the only reason why they haven’t really acted as clingy is because they don’t want to be reminded of the fact that they will no longer go to the same school anymore. That they were growing up and are going their own ways. While yes they do want to cling onto one another like Miyano has, they don’t want to make their goodbyes any harder than it will be. The four boys ultimately decided to go to the beach after school the next day and have a sleepover at Miyano’s house considering the fact his house would be the closest.
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
Miyano was now in front of Sasaki’s room, scared to knock on the door because he had been avoiding spending time with him, deep down he felt guilty and was angry at himself for leaving Sasaki alone. Taking a deep breath he knocked softly on his door, waiting for a reply. He was about to knock again till he heard “come in!!” from Sasaki. Entering the room Miyano saw the way that Sasaki's face lit up at the sight of seeing him, “mya you’re here!!” Sasaki said excitedly and rushed to give Miyano a hug. “Hi Sasaki-senpai..” Miyano muttered quietly, returning the hug. The two of them just stood in silence before they finally decided to separate, Sasaki grabbing the younger male hand and guiding him to the bed so they could sit more comfortably. From the moment that Miyano grew quieter and grew more attached to his friends is when Sasaki knew that something was wrong. His boyfriend never really clinged onto his friends like this before, while yes he was a bit sad that Miyano was blowing him off for his friends, he also understood why. Although he was never really like that with his friends when he was a third year, it doesn't mean that they didn't all have an understanding of how they all felt. They didn’t need to say it out loud that they were grateful for one another, that their high school days were better ever since they became closer. Honestly Sasaki would never admit that he had tears in his eyes when it was his graduation, that when the night was over from hanging out with his friends, that he came home and cried a bit to his sister. Holding Miyano in his arms he felt the sadness his boyfriend was carrying within himself. “Do you wanna talk about what's bothering you mya..?” Sasaki questioned, unsure if his boyfriend would allow himself to be more vulnerable. Sasaki grabbed Miyano’s face and gently cupped his cheeks, “It's okay if you don’t want to, the last thing I want to do is pressure you to talk” Sasaki whispered. Miyano’s eyes started to gloss and he began to shake, in this very moment he was allowing himself to break down, to be more vulnerable than he has ever been. Miyano started to cry, and tried speaking but no words were coming out, Sasaki allowed the tears to drop and pampered his face with kisses, “it's okay, there's no rush.. Just let it out of your system..” Sasaki whispered.
Miyano continued to cry and it was getting louder and louder by the second, this broke Sasaki’s heart so much. He knew that his boyfriend deeply cared for his friends and truly valued them, he remembers when Miyano was being honest with him and truly being vulnerable with him. That day Sasaki learned why Miyano pushed others away, why he was so scared of getting close to others, why he had a wall built between him and others and how hard it was to lower that wall. Miyano was always used to never really having any friends that would stick around, to him it seemed like everyone already had a best friend, how he hated projects because everyone already paired up while he was left alone. Sasaki learned that when Kuresawa first came into his life, he thought that their relationship would never progress but that turned out to be wrong because slowly but surely the two boys were so close to one another and just like that Tashiro soon came into his life and just how easily the three boys became better friends, then last but not least Shirahama joined their group and how everyday was a new adventure with these people he never thought he would ever get close with, that these people truly brought colors to his life, that they made every day fulfilling, that them being in his life made it so much better. Finally Miyano calmed down just enough to speak, “it's gonna sound so silly and dumb..” the younger hair boy said nervously, “well I don’t think its gonna be be dumb or silly if it’s having this huge impact on you mya” Sasaki tried comforting the boy, running his long fingers through the boy short hair, “well I guess I’ve been super scared and sad because of graduation.. It just keeps coming closer and closer and it's freaking me out..” Miyano paused, he could already feel himself tearing up, “I- I don’t want to let go of them.. We’re all going to different colleges and I'm just so afraid that once we start college we’ll slowly stop talking so much and all together won’t ever speak to one another again.. I just can’t lose them Sasaki-senpai, you know how much they have helped me, these are people I just can’t lose..” Miyano admitted. “You know Miyano, it’s okay for people to grow apart from others.. Not saying that's gonna happen with you guys! Im just saying that growth and changing is necessary and although we don’t want it, it's nice to see the people we care so much about grow” Sasaki said while making eye contact with his boyfriend, “Take it from me, although I would never admit this to Hirano, Oga and Hanzawa, but I hate how we all went to different colleges. I know that we don’t exactly share a bond like you do with your friends doesn’t change the fact that these people were part of the reason for my growth, that deep down I want to always be the best version there is of me for them. I love the fact that I’m seeing the type of adult that they are growing into” Sasaki admitted, “but nonetheless that's life, we all have to grow regardless if we want to or not because don't you want to grow with these people?” Sasaki questioned, Miyano just nodded. Understanding the message that Sasaki was trying to send him. They both smiled at one another and for once, Miyano’s chest didn’t feel as heavy as it normally did.
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🎐
Next thing they all knew, the group found themselves at a concert to celebrate graduation and for getting into their dream colleges. Kuresawa ended up surprising Tashiro, Shirahama and Miyano with tickets to see one of their favorite singers Lorde. Being close to the stage the group held hands and stood silently as they watched her perform her songs, it wasn't till Ribs that started playing that made them dance and had them screaming word from word, crying with one another, this song felt like their friendship, it made them remember that they would no longer be high schoolers but now young adult college students. That deep down within them, Ribs felt exactly like them as if they were the embodiment of that song. But for tonight they wouldn’t dwell on the future but instead they would focus on engraving this moment forever in their heads and enjoying themselves with one another, that no matter what life throws at them, they will forever have one another without a doubt, that no matter how much times passes by they would always remain close and will forever be involved in each others life because, they were each others people. They would forever be family.