Chapter Text
Mike Wheeler was standing on the edge. The murky, crashing waters far, far below him hounded at his ears, and the cacophony of scratchy, screaming voices rang in head. The high pitched wails of sorrow, the raspy threats of a knife, the silent terror of a boy.
But Mike Wheeler was not afraid. He always had someone to catch him. After all, he was a Paladin, faith guided him in every movement. Faith in his people. Faith in his friends, faith in his sister, faith in his mother, faith in his body, faith in his love, faith in his God. Mike the Brave always had his Faith.
Faith in Eleven. She was his power. A guiding light. A superhero. And he was always Lois Lane. How many times did Lois jump for Superman? How many times did he catch her?
So, El would be there. In the end, she always was. Like a pillar, holding him up when the world around him crumbled down. His world. His will. His Will.
Where was he? (Why was he thinking about him?)
No, not Will. He knew where Will was.
Dead and Buried.
No.
Washed Ashore.
No.
Long Forgotten.
No.
All Alone.
No!
Will was safe, home. In his house. In the basement, on a springy old mattress, with too few blankets. Will was safe. Home.
So where was Mike?
Mike Wheeler was standing on the edge.
His feet were slipping. Was he falling yet? For some odd reason, he hoped he was. It would make this easier.
What in the world was he talking about? He wasn’t falling, not yet. A dream, maybe. The sound was the same rushing in his ears. The same yelling. The same-
“Mike!” A voice rang out in the roaring rapids of his thoughts. It was-
“Will, what’s gotten into him? We’re going to be late!”
Holly yelled down into the basement, starting to get annoyed with the both of them. Mike Wheeler was not standing at the edge.
Mike Wheeler was standing in his basement, looking up at a wall. A blank wall. How long had he been standing there? Staring? He must have looked really stupid like that. But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. Everything felt like too much. His thoughts were swirling around in his head again, asking too many questions, too many visions, too many memories. He was underwater, and the light from the surface couldn’t reach him.
“Mike, come on!” Will’s voice finally breached his thoughts. That finally snapped him out of his stupor. Why was it always him that got him out of his head?
“Sorry. Sorry. I’m coming,” Mike shook his head to clear it– to no avail, “Sorry. I’m really tired.”
Will and Mike hadn’t been on speaking terms for a while. Why, he wasn’t really sure. There was this thick fog of tension in the air whenever they spoke. Like a game, and the first one to break the silence, loses. Only nobody won, either.
Mike hurriedly followed Will upstairs from the basement to snatch an Eggo on his way out. His mother yelled something after him, but as per usual he didn’t hear it. The three of them, Mike, Will, and Holly, all jumped on their bikes and dashed for school. Will fiddled with the radio as they rode. Robin’s voice and Steve’s sound effects echoed out through the speakers, and he let sounds pass by his ears. Mike did that a lot recently– letting sounds escape him. The world was split in four; but, Mike’s world was split in two. Or maybe even fallen apart.
He missed El. It was everything he didn’t want to admit, but he did. He missed her. He loves-
Will suddenly dashes ahead of them in their pack of bikes, shaking Mike out of his head again. He desperately needed something to distract him from his stupid wandering mind. If he got too in it, it might wander there again.
But Mike was conscious of his thoughts now. Hearing, seeing, listening again. And it was good too, as he was about to crash into Will in front of him. He swerved around quickly, coming to a stop. They were at school already.
Great. More time with his thoughts. It’s not like school was really anything mind-blowing right now anyways. Their world was on lockdown, they didn’t really learn anything. Mike missed elementary school, when everything was new and exciting. When science and books and learning were fun. He missed group projects in Mr. Clarke’s class, like that last time he third the science fair with Dustin, Lucas, and Will.
He missed when things were simple.
Everything now was far too much.
He should radio El today.
But he won’t.
He never does. His mind hopes for a crawl today. But obviously, that was not happening. Robin hadn’t given the signal, had she?
A crawl would be a good excuse to see her. So he can’t avoid her. He tells himself he doesn’t like risking radio contact with her for fear of getting compromised.
The truth is that Mike Wheeler is on the edge. And he doesn’t know if El will be there to save him. And if he’s being completely honest?
He doesn’t know if he wants her to.