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I always thought I knew everything.
Poromiel, the enemy.
Tyrrendor, the rebellions, endangering the entire continent.
Navarre, the righteous nation, trying to protect us all.
I thought I could trust my father.
I thought Violet would be my future.
Turns out, I didn't know a single thing.
Poromiel isn't the enemy. They are desperately trying to keep the venin at bay. Something I thought only existed in fairytales.
Tyrrendor may have led a rebellion, but only because Navarre closed their eyes and borders to those in need. Tyrrendor tried to help people where we failed them.
And Navarre is everything, but not the good guy our history tries to make it out to be.
My father isn't trustworthy at all, endangering the lives of innocent people just to get rid of Xaden and some of the other marked ones.
He sent them into “war games”. Not only did it kill Liam and Soleil, but it also allowed the venin the opportunity to ensure more people lost their lives, through no fault of their own but because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
And the worst of it all is the fact, that I helped him do it.
I trusted the rules and the codex more than Violet. Instead of asking questions, I assumed I already knew all the answers.
Jealous, that she chose to trust the supposed enemy instead of me.
I betrayed her trust and myself.
And when I realized my mistake, it was almost too late. Violet was dying in that chamber; I was sure of it. The second I saw her memories, I knew Varrish would kill her, so for once, I didn't trust the codex; I trusted my heart. I knew what the consequences would be, but I couldn't care less the second I turned around and stabbed Varrish. I knew it was the right thing to do.
Just as I knew, that helping half of the quadrant making their way to Aretia was the right thing too. I knew that no one would ever trust me again, rightfully so, but it didn't matter. It was probably the only shot we would ever get at setting things right, at changing history back to the truth.
Asher was right after all. It's really does only one desperate generation to change history or even erase it. And Navarre changed our history for much longer than just one generation.
And somehow, my future isn't as bleak as I thought it would be after everything that happened last year.
It will take a lot of time, but slowly, Violet has started to trust me again, asking for my help and opinions. She made me part of the “Quest Squad as Ridoc loves to call it. I know it's not because I was her best friend but because of my knowledge, but it is a small step and an olive branch I gladly take.
I now know that Violet isn't my future. No, I still don't know what I did to deserve her, but my future lies with Sloane, the very last person I ever expect to fall in love with me. She somehow knew that there was still a light in me and deemed me worthy enough to save me.
Despite knowing what part I played in her brother's death, she slowly started to trust me, she opened up to me.
It was slow and steady but still we kept getting closer. And she is not getting tired of letting me know that she doesn't blame me for Liam's death. At least not anymore.
She did hate me for a long time because it was easier to hate me than to acknowledge that she would have done the same. That she, too would have trusted her parents. And that no matter what I told my father, his plan was already in full motion when I betrayed Violet and told him what I saw in her memories.
We both know that the outpost couldn't have been cleared out in the few hours between me talking to my father and the start of war games.
But she also tells me time and time again, when I'm back spiraling in my own thoughts, that I also helped save so many lives when I called the formation to drop the truth on the biggest lie in the history of Navarre. That because of me, Poromiel, Tyrrendor, and the continent have a real chance at fighting back.
I don't know what the future now holds; with Xaden being venin and missing, Violet suddenly anointed as the duchess of Tyrrendor, more venin amidst our ranks that we still don't know about, and more missing riders and dragons. But when Sloane takes my hand in hers, I know I'm no longer alone and that I finally have a reason to fight.