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It was a lazy saturday afternoon and Gyro and Johnny were running some errands as usual. And as usual, Gyro started complaining about something halfway through.
- Johnny - he stretched every syllabyle - I'm so hungry I might pass out. - to emphasize the severity of the situation he leaned hard against his boyfriend's wheelchair. - Let's go get some fooooood.
The younger man, already overstimulated and annoyed by trying to shop with a man child while disabled for the past few hours just sighed in defeat. A sound Gyro immidetly recognized as he immidetly stood up straight with a grin. His face quickly soured when he noticed Johnny pull out his phone, typing something.
- What are you doing there, partner? - he leaned in trying to take a peek
- Im just checking whats the nearest pizza spot around here. Im feeling italian tod-
His device was promptly snatched from his hand before he could even protest.
- No way! That is *not* how you find a good spot, Johnny. The real deal is hidden from the public. We are just gonna trust my italian genes to lead us. - he tapped his nose, chin high up, clearly proud of something
- Uh huh... sure. Whatever you say. - years of knowing each other taught Johnny when it's more worth it to just give in to Gyro's whims - Whatever you say. Just don't let your british genes take over or you'll lead us to Greggs.
The taller man frowned.
- Dont even joke like this, Johnny.
It must have taken them a solid 40 minutes of fruitless wandering before Gyro finally stopped abruptly, pointing in a direction of a delapitated building in a suspicious alleway.
- Riiiiiight there! Now thats prime italian cuisine, Johnny!
The man in question followed his boyfriend's outstretched finger only to see a very faint sign that probably stated "pizza" though it was hard to say as it was barely eligable. The entire place looked more like a back alley when you get shanked than a hidden gastronomic gem.
- Are you sure? It looks abondened. - Johnny tried to argue, but Gyro was already at the door so he reluctnatly followed praying they wont die before they can eat.
The inside was relatively clean, the only sound a low hum of AC and a conversation in italian. Two highschoolers were sitting by the table engrossed in homework. The older one was patiently trying to explain something to the one with a weird orange bandana, who had a sort of glazed look in his eyes. Gyro inhaled deeply, taking in the scenery.
- Yep. That's authentic alright.
Before Johnny could answer, a guy in a weird hat, who was manning the counter noticed them. He seemed a bit puzzled, slowly raising his eyes from a porn magazine he was shameleslly flipping through just a moment before.
- You uhhh here to see the boss? - his accent was hard to place, but deffinetly not native
- What? No? We are here for the pizza.
He looked even more confused. Until something clicked.
- Ohhhh shit right. The pizza. This is a pizza shop. Sure just let me.. get the boss.
The man quickly ran to the back of the store and Gyro and Johnny heard some commotion that included yelling in italian and throwing of metalic dishes. After a second, a beautiful young man came up to the counter.
-How can I uhh help you, um, gentlemen? - he said, struggling to find his english
-See Johnny? I told you. This guy sounds like he moved here yesterday.
-Gyro, be fucking polite to the immigrants please. I could joke about your accent too.
-It's all well - the black haired man at the register calmed the situation down - I hear you're also from Italia signore, Si?
A quick chat in italian which Johnny had to endure ended abruptly when they heard a whisper followed by a loud, robotic answer
-Of course! Here's how you make a pizza in 5 easy steps-
The voice was quickly terminated by what sounded like a piece of cloth wrapped around a speaker. Whispers of "stupid fucking alexa" and "i told you to get rid of this thing" could be heard.
-Please don't mind them. They're just... New. New workers. You're here to eat, si?
Their conversation was once again interrupted by a loud sound of a loud yell coming from the dining area. The two teens who were a picture of serenity just a moment ago were now at each others throats. The smaller one holding a butterfly knife to the other one's throat, as the blonde choked him out on the table. Johnny swallowed. Was this normal authentic italian restaurant stuff?
- Fugo! Narancia! - a stern yell from the man behind the counter was enough go get the pair to seperate, a little ashamed. - Behave yourselves and show our "guests" the way.
The teen who responded to the name "Narancia" winked and smiled like he just recieved a secret messege.
- Ahhhh got you boss. We will "take them out back" no problem. Conciser it done.
His friend slapped the back of his head.
- No, show them the table dumbass - he hissed - we are not killing anyone.
What? Did Johnny hear that right? Gyro seemed unbothered though, as he took a sit one of the chairs. Johnny wheeled himself closer.
- You really dont concider any of this weir-
- Ciao! My name is Giorno Giovanna and I'll be your server today. What can I get you?
The blonde kid who appeared out of nowhere as if to startle Johnny on purpose couldnt be older than 16. He carried himself like a man who just googled what a waiter is suppoused to look like. Johnny tried to smile despite it all. Was humouring Gyro really worth his life?
- Ummm can we get the menus?
Their waiter turned around to lock eyes with the black haired man at the counter who shook his head.
- Sorry we don't have that. Only pizza.
Johnny eyed Gyro again, who looked like he just got another confirmation about the autenticity of the place.
-Actually, maybe let's just get food inspection here before anything else because the state of this-
-We'll have whatever the chef feels like preparing. - Gyro interrupted with a flowery voice.
He resisted the urge to talk in italian, the last thing he wanted right now is for Johnny to be angry with him - he was about to pretend he didn't bring his wallet, after all, so he had to save up all the good grace he had left. The waiter bowed slightly and walked away. Johnny walked him out with his eyes, observing him as he tried not to loose his composure when the man they saw here first bursted out laughing. Amused by something the pair clearly didn't have full context for.
Just as the staff only doors closed, you could hear rumbling in the kitchen again.
-Whatever the chef feels like? Oh I'll fucking show them what I feel like-
-Abbacchio, I really don't think they're enemies. I think they geniuenly just want to eat and leave. Let's give them what they want, alright gang? Come on, on 3!
-Bucciarati with love and respect NOBODY wants to do this chant. Ever.
-Not even when there's noone around? - he asked with a pout
-Yeah. - Fugo backed their head chef - it's really gay, Bucci.
-Yeah, sorry... - added Narancia.
- Fine. - his black bob did an elegant "swish" as he turned his head around, a little hurt - I trust you not to mess this one up. Don't disappoint me.
Meanwhile in the dining area the atmosphere became a little tense as the man behind the counter pulled out a shiny revolver from right behind his belt and started cleaning it with zero regard to any gun safety. If it wasn't for the completly vacant look in his eyes, Johnny would be sure this is some elaborate way of threatening them. Gyro on the other hand looked happier by the minute.
- Trust me Johnny, everything about this place screams "best food I ever ate" you just wait for what comes out of that kitchen.
- Uhhh sure. - his eyes now landed on a suspiciously body shaped trash bag laying casually in the corner of the room. The gun-cleaning Italian noticed where he was staring and said casually:
- They take the big trash tommorow.
Oh okay.
Right as he was about done and ready to leave no matter if the food was better than sex a loud "clank" of a plate being thrown on a hard surface got both of their attention. A man with long hair looked absolutely pissed off as he "handed" the pizza over to their "waiter".
- There you fucking go. And if they won't like it I'll piss in their dessert got it.
Gyro smiled, gills on full display - Hear that? there will be dessert!
Clearly feeling a lot of respect to the taller man the waiter grabbed the pizza tray in one hand and danced to the table with the only guests.
-For the lovely couple. - he seemed to be enjoying his job a bit too much, and the one they called Gucio at the counter seemed to be enjoying him a bit too much, giggling in a way that made Johnny worry about the food and his life just a little more.
When the blonde waiter went away, Johnny looked up at Gyro.
-You first. I'm not touching that, especially after what that poor excuse for a chef said - he added, making sure it's been heard all the way in the kitchen. He could hear an attempt at stopping someone from doing /something/, but unfortunately for Johnny, the attempt was only that - an attempt. A sharpened knife flew right past Johnny's ear and pierced the wall behind him, slightly vibrating, suggesting it could fly much further and with much better precision. The guy from the counter noticed what was going on and, thinking they're finally fighting somebody, stood up quickly, face lit up in exitment. He was promptly slammed in the face by the kitchen door, which was opened in panic by the "boss", how everybody called him here.
- Gesù Cristo Abbachio, tesoro! Controlla te stesso! - he screamed in the general direction of the kitchen. His commanding face switching to the pinnacle of customer service politeness when he turned his head back to the starteld pair.
- I'm very sorry. Let's just say this one is on the house, si? Grande. Bon Appétit.
- Bone apple teeth to you too - at this point the politeness stemming only from Johnny's fear for his life. He turned to his boyfriend with a horrified expression as soon as all the suspicious Italians were out of their vicinity. - Gyro let's go right no-
But Gyro wasn't here anymore. He was currently in culinary heaven and nothing Johnny could say or do would bring him down. A single tear fell down his cheek as he finished a slice.
- Dio ti ringrazia per questo. - he whispered like a prayer in between bites
Johnny's curiosity peaked he decided to try just a little bit for himself. And it was every bit as good as Gyro made it seem to. It was like his tongue was numb for his entire life and just now regained it's ability to taste. Like angels were fucking in his mouth. There was simply no way to describe this symphony of flavours. When they both finished their meal greedily they looked at each other with full understanding. Looks like they are gonna be coming back.