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It all began on the day where they filmed their special New Year's gathering.
During the game of Jenga, specifically.
It was a mess, like every game they ever played together. Them shouting at each other, teasing each other (especially poor Woonhak, everyone's favourite victim), trying their best not to curse because they were being filmed, and laughing way too hard - that last part mostly coming from Jaehyun and Sungho.
On the low table in front of them sat a piled-up Jenga game, each brick with a New Year's fortune or penalty written on it. Penalties which they had written themselves. And Woonhak had noticed that an unfair amount of the ones his members had written included him. Well, he was used to it, really. He'd just have to endure.
That was until Taesan pulled a brick from the top of the pile and announced loudly:
"Blow raspberries on Woonhak's abs!"
Woonhak's head snapped toward him, and he stared at him in terror. "What?! Why are all the penalties involving me! The one who pulls is the one who is supposed to get punished, it's unfair! Who wrote this one??"
The evilly satisfied smirk Taesan shot him was enough of an answer. Woonhak rolled his eyes with a defeated groan. He knew there was no getting away from this.
"Two people have to do it!" Jaehyun chimed in as he jumped up from his spot at the other end of the table with gleeful energy, walking over to Woonhak to pull him up by the hand.
"I don't want to!" Woonhak complained, but he already knew that it was no use.
"C'mon, get over here!" Of course Jaehyun was excited; he loved this type of shit. Especially when it involved him.
Woonhak let himself be pulled up and get dragged behind the big poster wall the staff had set up in the middle of the studio as their backdrop - although not without a chain of loud complaints.
Jaehyun was giggling giddily, clearly having the time of his life. When they were safe from everyone's eyes and all the camera lenses, Jaehyun immediately bent down and started pulling Woonhak's clothes up to reveal his stomach. "Hold still!"
All of a sudden, Woonhak panicked slightly.
Too late did he realise that this would be no good.
He tried to squirm away, but Jaehyun didn't waste a second grabbing him by the hips to keep him still.
He could feel his hyung's warm breath brush over the sensitive skin of his stomach, soon followed by his lips.
Woonhak's breath staggered, and he tried his best not to let his muscles stiffen to the point Jaehyun would feel it.
In reality, you could consider it pretty gross - Jaehyun making strange noises on his stomach with his mouth - but Woonhak could feel his pathetic heart starting to beat faster.
The moment ended as soon as it started, Jaehyun standing straight to be back at eye level with Woonhak. Well, almost - Jaehyun always needed to raise his chin just a little to look at him properly.
So, weirdly enough, at the moment Woonhak wasn't at all grossed out by the slightly sticky feeling on his belly, clearly hinting at his hyung's spit.
All he could focus on was trying not to let the heat pulsing through his veins rush to his face.
Woonhak's head had turned into a mess over the past thirty seconds. He could still feel the softness of his hyung's lips against his skin, the tickling brush of his breath, and the-
Remembering that his hyung was still right in front of him and that they were currently filming, he quickly snapped back into his usual persona, putting on a disgusted expression and complaining, like everyone would expect him to do. Luckily, pretending became easy after being an idol for some years.
"He literally left spit on my stomach!" he groaned exaggeratedly as he emerged from behind the poster alongside Jaehyun, who was laughing boisterously.
He left spit on my stomach... On the inside, that thought still didn't disgust him nearly as much as it should have. Horribly enough, the opposite was the case. But he tried not to think about it, focusing back on the content they were filming.
The rest of the filming went by quickly. He was having fun, shouting his lungs out of his throat and showing off just how cool of a maknae he was.
On the ride home, it was different, though. Because for some annoying reason, his mind just kept circling back to what happened earlier, with that stupid penalty Taesan had come up with.
He always considered himself to be pretty good at self-control, but at the moment, it wasn't holding up just as well.
You see, Woonhak had always secretly loved all the attention and affection his hyung showered him with on a daily basis. But of course there was no way he could just show that openly; he was supposed to be cool, after all.
A strong and mature maknae who didn't need people squashing his cheeks and kissing them.
Or so he thought. Or rather... pretended to think. Because deep inside, he'd always loved it. Especially when it came from Jaehyun. He acted annoyed about it - sometimes he actually was, too, because Jaehyun could be a lot - but if he was being honest with himself, he couldn't imagine living without it anymore. If Jaehyun were to suddenly stop acting the way he did toward him, he would be devastated for sure.
Wait, no, who was he even fooling here? Well, his members, obviously, but there wasn't really a point in trying to fool himself. The real reason he pretended Jaehyun's clinginess was a hassle to him was that he liked it too much. And he was very much scared of what that could mean.
What would happen if his hyung, who most likely only saw him as a little brother and nothing more, would find out? Find out what thoughts and... urges were piling up inside him whenever they touched. Jaehyun just needed to look at him with those large, criminally dazzling eyes of his to make Woonhak's stomach do weird little twists.
Once they were home, he immediately went into his room and slumped onto his bed. His mind kept swirling. Usually, he would stay in the living room for a little longer to get a snack and maybe even spend some time with his hyungs, but right now he really didn't think it would be that smart to be too close to a specific one of them.
As if on cue, the door of his room creaked open. Woonhak let out a sigh; he didn't need to look up to know who it was. Jaehyun never bothered knocking.
Great. Here he was, his mind spinning around that one particular bandmate until his head hurt, and then said bandmate just had to show up right in front of him.
"What's wrong, Woonhak-ah?" Jaehyun asked right away, standing in front of his bed with crossed arms. His face looked concerned, though.
Something inside Woonhak pulled tight. Jaehyun was so caring, he knew him so well... he always caught onto it if there was something off. Woonhak managed a smile. "Nothing," he said. "Just tired," he then quickly added as an excuse, because he knew damn well that Jaehyun would never believe him if he just brushed it off entirely. With this, he at least raised the chances of Jaehyun accepting his answer and dropping the topic.
But it looked like luck wasn't on his side today.
"Are you sure, Woonhak?" Jaehyun pressed further, now climbing onto the bed beside him. "You seem a little off today..."
Woonhak bit his lip and shook his head. "No, really. I'm just very tired," he tried to reassure the other.
"Okay." Jaehyun still didn't seem to fully buy it, though, as he now shifted to hover above Woonhak, eyes scanning over his face. "You will tell me if something is bothering you, yeah?"
Woonhak nodded quickly, internally praying for Jaehyun to move away soon - and before he even knew it was happening, Jaehyun leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the side of his face.
It was nothing new. Jaehyun did this all the time. Or tried to do it, depending on how much affection Woonhak could take on that day without fearing he'd burst apart from all his suppressed emotions.
And this time was one of the days where he couldn't take it. But he hadn't noticed in time to stop him, and now all he could think about again was the feeling of Jaehyun's lips against his skin.
He didn't even notice he had spaced out again until he felt another kiss landing on his face.
Jaehyun pulled back with a frown. "Woonhak-ah, are you sure you're just tired? You never let me kiss you like this..."
This was the moment where Woonhak should have replied, where he should have shoved Jaehyun off, where he should have started complaining and maybe said that he had a headache or something - and that was all. But all he did was stay completely still, staring up at his confused hyung with wide eyes and his lips slightly parted. He didn't want to know what kind of dazed expression he probably wore on his face in that moment.
But for some weird reason, it felt impossible to move.
Jaehyun tilted his head slightly, his frown deepening, and Woonhak had the feeling that he was staring right down into his soul. Which probably wasn't even that hard at the moment, since he had failed to keep his emotions hidden behind his eyes. Now they were spilling out, all for his hyung to see.
Something in Jaehyun's expression suddenly shifted. Woonhak wasn't sure what it was, but it made Jaehyun slowly move closer again, gaze shifting back and forth between his eyes.
And then he placed another kiss on Woonhak's cheek. It was still soft, but somehow it felt different... maybe because it lingered for just a little longer than the usual ones, maybe because Jaehyun was moving so slowly... it seemed almost purposeful.
"Do you like it when I do that?" Jaehyun questioned with a tilt of his head, one corner of his mouth pulling up slightly.
Having completely lost control over his own body, Woonhak nodded. That was the truth.
It was a dangerous one. But also one that made his hyung's entire face light up.
And so Jaehyun leaned back down again, kissing his cheek once more. Then he shifted, pressing another kiss just a little higher. A third one landed on his temple, his forehead, the other cheek...
And before Woonhak knew what was happening, they were kissing. Or no - they weren't. Jaehyun had pulled back again before Woonhak could even fully comprehend that Jaehyun's lips were touching his own.
Jaehyun was looking down at him, and Woonhak thought he could see a mixture of worry and suppressed excitement in his hyung's eyes, paired with the love he always found when he looked at them. In this moment, it seemed to be overflowing, making his eyes sparkle in a way that should have been impossible in the dimly lit room. He looked absolutely gorgeous.
Throwing his mind - and the twisted and anxious feelings it held - out of the window for the time being, Woonhak moved his hands to the back of his hyung's head, tangling them in the longish strands of black hair before abruptly pulling him back down again. It wasn't forceful, just not slow enough to leave any room for himself to change his mind before their lips touched again.
Woonhak had never kissed anyone before. He had already been a trainee when his schoolmates started playing stupid games like truth or dare, and then he couldn't afford to join in those kinds of scandal-risky activities anymore.
It felt amazing, though, kissing.
It felt amazing to kiss Jaehyun.
Woonhak knew that this wasn't Jaehyun's first kiss, not even his first time kissing a boy (yes, they talked about these kinds of things), but he also knew that he had nothing to worry about. Not when all of this just felt so, so right.
Jaehyun kissed him softly at first, something small and innocent and sweet. But when Woonhak followed each one of his motions eagerly, he slowly started to deepen it - pressing closer, coaxing his lips further apart, slipping his tongue inside - until Woonhak didn't know anymore how much of the saliva inside his mouth was his own. Until he was breathless and his entire body felt like it was burning.
After what felt like both forever and only a few fleeting moments, Jaehyun pulled back with a satisfied hum. "Mm... baby, I've been wanting to do this for so long, you know..." Jaehyun's eyes were still overflowing with love, to the point that Woonhak was almost sure he could physically feel it drip down onto him.
And so, in this moment, he wasn't scared about what all this could possibly mean anymore. Simply because he already knew what it meant. He knew, from the bottom of his currently pounding heart, that he could trust his hyung. That Jaehyun would never even think of intentionally hurting him. He knew that he was safe. That his heart was safe, and all those youthful and exciting feelings were too. Jaehyun would take care of them.
He would take care of him. Like he always did.
Maybe he wasn't just a little brother, after all.
"Hyung," he said, his voice uncharacteristically bashful, but still steady. Because he was so sure of the words that were about to leave his mouth.
"I love you."
It pulled a smile to Jaehyun's lips, a wide, unguarded one that made his eyes crinkle. "I know, Hakie," he murmured, before nudging Woonhak's nose with his own. "And hyung loves you too."
Woonhak kept still, staring up at him with spellbound eyes. Jaehyun didn't say another word either, but there was no more need for words. Maybe there hadn't been in the first place, because their eyes had already said it all.
But Woonhak did love hearing it just now, when his hyung had told him he loved him. He said that all the time, but Woonhak knew that this time it was different. Or maybe it wasn't - maybe it was just the first time that Woonhak understood what those words truly meant.
Jaehyun silently slid the fingers of his left hand between Woonhak's and squeezed his hand gently. Then he leaned down again to breathe another kiss against the corner of his mouth. One turned into two, and two turned into a path all the way to the soft skin of his neck.
He mouthed at the column of his throat, pulling the sensitive skin between his teeth gently. Hopefully not enough to leave any evidence behind, but definitely enough to make a small and very embarrassing whine slip past his lips, bringing a satisfied smile to Jaehyun's. Woonhak couldn't see his face, but he felt his hyung's breathy smile whisper against his neck.
Jaehyun pressed one last kiss there, then he slid even lower, shoving the hem of Woonhak's shirt up just like earlier and attaching his still-wet lips to the maknae's now exposed stomach.
It was a little bit like earlier that day - warm and thrilling and somewhat damp. But it was also nothing like it at all. Because this was slow and purposeful and... intimate. This happened after they had just been kissing for God-knows-how-long, and after they had told each other I love you.
Woonhak couldn't prevent another small noise from slipping past his lips when Jaehyun grazed his teeth against his skin before leaving an open-mouthed kiss on the same spot.
"You don't know how much I've been holding back earlier today," Jaehyun murmured under his breath, pressing a sweet peck to Woonhak's belly button before suddenly burying his nose there, instantly making Woonhak squirm at the ticklish feeling as he tried to push his hyung away.
Letting out a mischievous giggle, Jaehyun complied and shifted back up until they were face to face again. Jaehyun's black bangs fell into the almost nonexistent space between them, brushing against Woonhak's forehead.
He caught a teasing and playful glint in Jaehyun's eyes, but most of all there was still this overwhelming sense of sincerity. His eyes looked genuinely loving in a way that stole Woonhak's breath from his lungs.
"This... this is actually real, isn't it?"
Jaehyun loves me back.
"It is," Jaehyun confirmed. "I love you so much, you know that?" he whispered, brushing his hand through Woonhak's hair with so much affection that it almost physically hurt.
Woonhak nodded slowly. And then a beaming smile spread across his face. He surged forward, wrapped his arms around his hyung's neck, and nuzzled his face into his chest.
Yeah. He had the feeling that he knew by now.