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"Takashi…”
We were having dinner together in the school cafeteria, as we had almost always done since Kashima and I started dating, about a month ago, almost two.
“What did you just call me?” Toono asked, confused, a faint blush already spreading across his cheeks.
“Takashi,” Kashima replied calmly, setting his chopsticks down on the table and looking straight at Toono. “Isn’t that your name?”
Toono blushed at Kashima’s shameless response. Even though they had been dating for a month, they still hadn’t kissed, and Toono rarely let Kashima hug him. Many times, Toono felt guilty about this somewhat selfish behavior, but at the same time he felt he wasn’t ready yet for “things that only couples do.” So when his boyfriend called him by his first name—something only his family had ever called him until now—it made the poor boy completely collapse and become extremely nervous.
“Well, yes, but…” He put down his own chopsticks and looked away from Kashima, trying to avoid any eye contact. “…only my family calls me Takashi… and besides, I prefer Toono. I don’t like Takashi.”
“I prefer Takashi,” the man in front of him replied with a mischievous smile on his lips before picking up his chopsticks again with his right hand and continuing to enjoy dinner. “But it’s okay, Toono, I respect that… I just wanted to get closer to you in some other way.”
Toono knew how much his boyfriend liked exclusivity and knew it came from his childhood, so he forgave his somewhat possessive behavior. The fact that Kashima wanted to call him by his first name was because he wanted everyone to know that Toono was *his* boyfriend and that only he could call him like that.
“The cafeteria has fewer people today, it must be because—”
“Kashima,” Toono said, interrupting his boyfriend’s awkward attempt to change the subject, looking directly at him.
“Don’t call me Takashi,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “but I can call you Yuu… sometimes… if you want.”
Kashima couldn’t believe what he had just heard, almost choking on his own saliva.
“But only sometimes,” he added, not wanting to raise the other boy’s expectations too high, while Kashima smiled at him like an idiot, his face completely red.
Luckily for Takashi, who was already completely regretting what he had said as Kashima ate while smiling, Kashima’s friends showed up and sat down at the table with them to talk. His friends liked Toono a lot, even though Toono thought they didn’t (but he always thought that about people he was close to).
After dinner, Kashima walked Toono back to his room as he always did. It was Friday, so since they didn’t have classes the next day, they could take their time. Toono always says that it wasn’t necessary for Kashima to walk him back to his dorm, but his boyfriend never listens.
“So, good night,” Kashima said with a smile when they reached Takashi’s room.
“Good night, Kashima… sleep well,” Toono replied, yawning. He was closing his door when Kashima slipped his foot between the door and the wall, stopping it from closing.
“Tomorrow… are we still going to study…?” Kashima asked.
Toono had completely forgotten they had planned to study tomorrow.
“Uh… yes, of course… if you can, I need help with math.”
With the plan set, Yuu wished him good night again, this time adding “see you tomorrow” with an even bigger smile on his lips. That was when their eyes met, and Kashima, to Toono’s surprise, brought his hand up to Toono’s cheek and gently caressed it with his thumb.
“Toono…” Kashima whispered, then kissed the cheek opposite the hand he was holding. He wished him good night for the third (and final) time and left.
Toono lay on his bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, thinking about what had happened.
When Toono admitted to Kashima the romantic feelings he had for him, Kashima asked Takashi to date him again, and he accepted. However, since he had never dated before, he said everything had to be “at my pace.”
“I want to kiss him…” Toono thought, but quickly regretted those thoughts, pressing his pillow against his head. Suddenly, the memory of Yuu’s lips crossed his mind, and the desire to feel them pressed against his own wouldn’t fade.
Toono knew Kashima wanted to kiss him too and probably thought about it as well.
But Takashi wanted their first kiss as a couple to be special and romantic. That’s when he thought it would be a good idea to plan a nice day for them to kiss, so he would feel more prepared.
He sat up in bed, opened the penguin planner on his nightstand, and began to think. Then he chose November 24th, nine days away.
Satisfied, he lay back down and quickly fell asleep.
“I finally finished,” Toono said, placing his pencil on the table confidently.
Kashima, who had finished the same exercise fifteen minutes earlier, looked at Toono’s result, which was once again wrong. “I don’t think that’s the right answer, Toono…”
“I give up. I’m never going to understand this subject.”
“Calm down, Toono. This is really difficult, but the exercise is almost right,” Kashima said, trying, with his usual kindness, to calm him down, and once again explained how to solve it.
Toono tried to focus on the exercise and look at the paper, but Kashima’s lips distracted his mind and his vision.
“Toono, are you listening?” Kashima noticed Toono’s gaze fixed on his lips instead of the exercise. “Do I have something on my lips?”
Not knowing what to answer, Toono looked away from Kashima’s lips and down at the paper in front of him. “Ah, no… I was thinking about the exercise…”
“Toono, you can always tell me if something’s bothering you,” Kashima said, breaking the silence.
Toono, weak under pressure, admitted shyly, still keeping his eyes on the papers in front of him and gripping his uniform pants tightly, trying to calm himself. “I… I think I want to kiss you.”
Kashima, hearing the confession, also became embarrassed. After three seconds of silence, he gently held Toono’s chin so they could see each other’s expressions.
“But wait! Not now… I planned a day.”
Kashima was confused and a bit disappointed when Toono stood up to grab his planner.
“I’ve been thinking about which day would be best, and I think that November 24th is the perfect date.”
At first, Yuu was confused, he had never seen anyone schedule a kiss, especially one so far away. But then he found his boyfriend’s attitude amusing and decided to play along.
“I don’t know if I can that day… I’ll have to check my planner,” he said, laughing.
“Yuu, this is serious…” Toono grumbled.
Kashima stopped laughing when his boyfriend used his first name, becoming even more nervous than him. Damn, how much he wanted to kiss him right now, but he calmed himself. If he wanted to kiss his boyfriend, he needed to convince Toono confidently.
“Why the 24th?” he asked.
“I don’t know… the main reason is that it won’t rain, and I want it to be a romantic day…” Takashi admitted.
“Well… today is a much more special day than the 24th,” Kashima said, trying to spark Toono’s romantic side. “Today marks 50 days since we started dating.”
Toono, who hadn’t thought about that, looked at his boyfriend in disbelief that he was counting the days. “Really??”
“Yes,” Kashima replied confidently, moving closer to Toono with a smile. “And best of all, it’s not raining right now.”
Takashi looked out the window. Indeed, it wasn’t raining, and a beautiful sunset stretched across the horizon. Enchanted by the view, he stood up and walked toward the window while Kashima remained seated.
“We have to be standing,” Toono said quietly, avoiding eye contact, and Kashima quickly stood up and calmly walked over to him.
Takashi took a deep breath when he felt his boyfriend behind him. Both of them looked out the window.
“It’s a beautiful sunset. If I had my camera, we could take some photos,” Kashima said, watching the red hues in the sky.
Suddenly, Toono turned around, and they faced each other. In the same instant, neither of them knew who moved first, but they gently pressed their lips together.
The romantic touch of their lips lasted only a few seconds, and they quickly pulled away, maintaining eye contact.
“I love you, Toono,” Kashima said.
“Yuu, I… I love you too,” Toono blurted out.
Hearing his first name again, Kashima lost all reason, pushed Toono against the wall, and kissed him again.
This time, Kashima pressed his tongue against Toono’s mouth, making the experience a little more intense as he pressed his hips against the other’s.
To Kashima’s surprise, Toono grabbed his hair and opened his mouth wider.
When their lips finally separated to breathe after several seconds, both of them were flushed and out of breath.
“That’s enough already!” Toono exclaimed, almost sliding down the wall as he held himself up.
“Toono, can I say something?” Kashima asked with a mischievous smile. “I don’t know how many days we’ve been dating, but I doubt it’s been 50.”