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The sound of a gunshot rattled through the busy scream and shouts of people trying to run away in panic in the narrow street. The shop traders that littler the strip are being swept along in the chaos, parts of their stalls shattered and broken as the press of people force themselves through. The Golden Rhinos walk with a high air of confidence, firing another shot into the press of civilian bodies. As of now they are above the law and can do as they see fit with the degrading and poverty stricken residents who have nowhere else to go but further into the depths of the Tokyo-to slums.
Fuck, I can hear them calling out my name as they are swallowed by the rest of the noise but I am unable to see them. This was a bad idea, but I followed them anyway with a lot of reluctance. There’s a flicker of colour from Gum’s hat and the odd splash form what looks like Soda’s jacket, but beneath the press of bodies knocking me against a street cart and squashing the life out of me as they do so makes those glimmers of a hopeful escape dwindle.
I look up as my name is shouted again, this time it’s my real one, and I couldn’t help but respond to it, even though I knew it was going to be some stranger calling for a missing relative. I can’t help myself; panic is also filling me just as it has with those running around me, the terror of being shot without any mercy all too real. A large hulking figure crashed into the cart, throwing us onto the concrete hard, several people getting crushed to death under the weight of the fleeing horde. I scramble to my feet and pull a few children up who have fallen under the feet and shove them forwards, my own shouting muffled by the noise. There are more gun shots being fired and more bodies, this time just ahead of me falling to the ground. They're taking random pot shots! I spin around but can’t see the killers, losing them just like I had lost my companions.
Getting shoved to move forward from behind back into the side of the street this time, being slammed against the brick wall, I let out a gasp for air as I am elbowed and pushed further into the brickwork on my side, before I am shoved to my knees and people are crawling over the top of me in desperation. I scrabble to get back up but my skates are impeding my balance, making it easier for people to throw me back down for being in the way.
A hand reaches down and I can hear someone shouting, but can barely make out a sound. I grab it, pulling myself up and gratefully relived that its Yo-yo pulling me up and along. At least someone didn’t forget I was back here, further at the back of the mob. He yells something that I can’t hear and I grab him and turn him around to get him to keep running.
Something hits me in the back of the shoulder, for a second I assume it’s another person shoving into me, but then there’s another further down my back and another into my calf muscle and I come crashing down, last thing before the mass of the street trample me beneath it I see Yo-yo turning back of a few seconds, but his expression is one I can’t quite read as I hit the ground.
Well it wasn’t quite the ground. I sit up and look around, panic still pumping adrenaline through my body. The city is gone, along with Yo-yo and all the terrified people. I sneeze, as right under my nose are flowers, red roses and tulips as far as the eye can see. There would be no point pinching myself, for I knew the adrenaline would cancel any bit of pain for a few more hours till it wore off. Either I’m dreaming, or I’m dead. If this is wonderland, I’ve seriously come in the wrong doorway. I pull off my skates with some serious yanking at them before they gave way and standing up in my bare feet, the grass feeling nice under my toes. The only flowers I had ever seen were in books or in windowsills when people attempted to grown them to try and reconnect with nature so for me this was ethereal. Glowbugs flew from blossom to blossom, dancing pretty colours and lazily making patterns against the fading endless sky.
I blinked; something was flying towards me, skimming across the flowers. It ducked and weaved till it stopped not far from my reach. Against all the reds and greens of the plants and the glowing yellow insects, the creature was startling to look at to say the least. I must be dead I conceded, because rats don’t have wings and fly and the only way I’d ever think they did was if I was stupid enough to eat one of Jazz’s cupcakes.
The rodent hovered, its wings flapping slowly keeping it air borne. In its tail was a rose, and it lifted it up towards me. I hesitated before taking it, because if this was a test to see if I was ready to pass on I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to accept this state of affairs…. Although since I was already here, wherever this was, there was little to no choice in the matter. The creature seemed happy, and flew a few steps ahead, flipping over itself in the air in excitement.
I took a step forward, the ground seemed solid enough. Taking another forward the rat flew forward again, dancing around as it did so, encouraging me to keep up. After a few more, the rodent flew back to me and sat on my shoulder. At this point I assumed the field went forever which may not have actually been a bad thing. I assumed after living the life that I did I didn’t deserve something as nice as this, or at any rate, as pleasant. After a few more steps I realised that there was no smell to the blossoms. I gave the one in my hands a sniff and confirmed that there was nothing. The flowers were still pretty to look at; the endless sea of red at waist height, acres and acres of blood coloured buds with no end. It didn’t occur to me that they were red for a reason that is till now, when realisation filled every one of my senses. It was a sea of blood, without actually being, well… blood.
I took a step backward and that was a mistake, my foot fell through what felt like water and I fell back with it trying to reach out from the sea of flowers till the ground swallowed me.
I twisted around, fighting with all my might, feeling like something was pulling me downward to drown me and yet, there was nothing there that I could see. I couldn’t scream or cry out there was no sound coming from me as I wrestled with this invisible daemon. I wasn’t going to let it beat me; I fought more ferocious things than whatever this is before… well that’s not entirely true. Inner monsters ones I hide from everyone are ones I can’t fight, not on my own.
Before my eyes colours swirl out of the darkness of the deep and a huge smoking pair of jaws open wide, long teeth snapping open and shut. In fear I raise my arms to defend myself as the apparition comes at me it’s jaws eating me and then on the other side there is nothingness. Everything is still. Well almost everything, I’m rocking back and forth on a waveless current, water is lapping against the sides of the water craft that has appeared around me, leaving me to float gently on the surface. The thing I’m floating in it soft and lined with cotton, and I peer over the side. It’s a stylish coffin that I’m bobbing about in in this empty world of nothingness.
Silence predominates… for a little while. There’s a little sound of dripping water not too far ahead along with some muted conversation. I realise that one of the muffled sounds is my own voice and it sent shivers down my spine.
“I still have no idea how you sleep at night.”
“That’s the thing Clutch, I don’t. I can’t knowing that while I was chasing down that decoy they were slaughtering people in the streets.”
“But the blood's on their hands, not yours, you didn’t kill them.”
“Their blood is on my hands as much as it is theirs.”
Other little drips of water begin to descend from the open skies above, and more words and conversations are filling the void, ones where I had guilt riddled right through, ones where I have had to lie and hide things, one where I have made mistakes, even stuff that I don’t even recall when I was a kid as still contact with my parents. It was pattering down like rain, soaking my clothes and the lining of the coffin with smatters of red. I covered my ears, I don’t want to hear these, and I didn’t even want the words to have left my mouth in the first place, nor be involved in those conversations.
“MAKE IT STOP!” I shouted, my own voice bouncing around in echoes all around me. It rained harder and the voices got louder, some of them even began to sound like they were insulting me with the worst words they could throw in my direction. I must have been getting into hysterics because I started shaking and shouting to try and get it to end despite the fact it wasn’t working. I was rocking the coffin on the water as it pelted the blood down till I flipped the blasted thing over and landed into the liquid, something grabbing me from underneath the surface pulling me under as I fought to stay on top. Slimy arms reached up to pull my own down into the murk and this time I wasn’t going to let it take me. I didn’t want to be tortured forever by monsters that I created, things I couldn’t see and couldn’t make go away.
I gulped for air and only managed to get a lungful of the blood pouring in from the sky now, being pulled under further every time I managed to break the surface. This was it; I was going to lose everything, my useless and tainted soul which I had grown attached to and there was nothing I could do. I had never done anything that wrong in my life, always feeling awful over things I couldn’t prevent when I was trying to prevent other things just as bad from happening. I really wished I hadn’t kept pushing everyone way at this point, although I wasn’t too sore about me ever going to be missed. It’s not like any of them where really friends with me anymore, I had to be honest I didn’t go out of my way to be likeable, though saving them on occasion I would have thought accounted for something.
The arms where pulling harder now, or I must have been feeling weaker as I was finding it harder to break the surface now, awaiting for that last final pull that will keep me under and devoured by the darkness.
A glimmer of shining blue light hovered up above; desperately I reached for it even though the attempt was pretty futile. I was never good at saving myself from anything, and always felt a failure when I tried to save others. I was really going to miss everything, from the feeling of the sun on the face to just talking to people who I care about, even if I never let them know it. I started to let the sinking predator pull me down one last time. The glow came closer as my arms started to give, I couldn’t even grab it if I tried.
The glow blinked a few times before I noticed it wasn’t just one, but two bright coloured glowing rats hovering above. They both dived and ducked as hands from the sludge tried to snatch them from the air.
“FLY AWAY!” I yelled, the foul water filling my lungs. “Please, fly away.” I choked with my last breath before being pulled under. The darkness closed over and the lights punctured the surface, both the rats diving down to rip my limbs free form the creature that was holding onto them. I was too weak to pull away, but still tugged with what little I had left till I was free. By then however I knew I was going to drown, too far from the surface. The rats had come back and where pulling at my clothes, trying to drag me upwards. More flying rodents where diving in to pull me out, helping me find the strength to resurface and clamber out onto a hard ground that blended into the water. I coughed a lot of it back up red liquid pouring out and running back down into the murk I had come from.
One of the rodents had dragged its self-up out of the water beside me and unlike the others that took flight after breaking free of the pool, this little one collapsed in a heap, trapped under the water weight of its own wings. I scooped it up and held it to my body, running my fingers through its fur. It was soft, and quite wriggly as it was trying to move around in my hands. Sitting on my knees I ran my free hand through the feathers of its wings to try and separate some of the water from them. The rodent to my surprise started licking my hand and my fingers, as if I was trying to get in the way of it grooming itself. I can’t remember the last time I wanted to smile, and the furious licking was ticklish to say the least. It was like being scrapped with a tiny corner of sand paper that was buffeted by smooth bone as its upper teeth brushed against my skin as it lapped at my hands. Little paws reached for my fingertips, a single front foot with all its fingers big enough just to cover it. Tiny, delicate and very fragile. Eventually it escaped from my grasp and ran up to my shoulder where it sat, grooming itself completely at ease in my company.
For the first time in this strange place, I didn’t feel alone. It was something I wasn’t used to, being someone who was always sitting on the outside, even when I was well, friendlier to be around. My heart sank at that thought, quite possibly more now than it ever had before.
Some thing was out there feeling its way under the ground, I stood up and faulted backwards as a huge metal claw sliced through the floor where I had stood, rising high into the back oblivion like a snake before coming crashing down inches infront of me. I had been smart enough to start running as more of the things started to tear up the ground beneath my feet to get me. The rat ran down the back of the neck of my shirt but I didn’t care, I was more worried about not being squished against the hard marble surface of the floor. I ducked and dodged them until I hit something like and invisible wall, it was the same colour as everything else around me in the darkness and blended in seamlessly. There was nowhere to run.
The monster arose from the tangle of metallic tubes and claws and hulled itself out of the earth, its eyes glowing red with fire. I had come face to face with many foul creations of men before, ranging from mad men with guns and walking spidery contraptions that fired missiles, to robotic flame throwing dragons to mechanical monstrosities that threw you hard into the ground and off the edge of buildings in hopes that you would have a sudden painful death to the maniacal maniacs that ran around with tanks of raw methane for their flamers as if they were living bombs. I could not make heads or tails of this creature other than is was man made. Fire licked from several long protruding nozzles from the front as it drew closer, closing me in its trap ready to either burn me alive or crush me with constriction.
As horrifying as it was, my attention was taken up elsewhere, the rat that was down the back of my shirt must have been clawing into my skin under my clothes, the searing pain of something trying to enter my body more intermediate than the larger than life killer that was standing over me. I scratched and clawed trying to get at it as I fell to my knees, but there was no possible hope to reach the small rodent as it burned into me. I landed on all fours before the monster of my greatest nightmares, determined that I was not going to fall and become one with it. I ripped at my own clothes to get them off my back and as I did so a glowing light flashed out from under my skin along my spine, where huge wing unfolded out from under the muscles and blood that was tearing free as they extended themselves and stretched in the open. The weight was heavy, but it was a burden I was ready to bear, having carried so much of it in similar weight physically and emotionally all my life. I forced myself up off my knees and to my feet, splaying the new gift the rat had bestowed upon me. Wings I didn’t feel I deserved but I realise that they are given to me for my kindness. In little ways all those voices I heard in those drops of blood where not against me, but me blocking out any form or attempt to return any kindness because I didn’t want it returned. I was afraid of it. Afraid of them and what they might find lurking inside, in truth…I was afraid of me.
I could hear those voices of care and some of them of small joy filtering through the feathers of these new wings, like a new found courage and hope filling my soul. I have always without knowing it relied on others for strength, not to pull me or push me forward, but to make me a better person and a better fighter.
The creature slammed its claws into the ground and I leapt, the wings lifting my body off the floor enough for me to land on the metallic arm of the clamper and I ran along it until another swung for me, a flamer opening inside the claw’s jaws snapping at my heels before belching fire into my side.
I hurdled back to the ground, bouncing across the surface, feathers being torn out as the claws grabbed for them as I landed. I tried to get back up before the beast smothered me, but I was too hurt to even drag myself upright enough to look the creature in its cold fiery eyes. Claws slammed into the ground beside me breaking the floor apart, cracking open and dropping me down the chasm into the void.
I sat up, my heart racing clutching sheets beneath me in my hands. I struggle to untangle myself from the mess when someone wraps their arm around my shoulders from the front and pulls me tight till I stop moving. I grab them in fear and panic, holding on tight as I don’t want to believe they’re not real and be thrown around in the abyss again.
“It’s alright; everything’s going to be alright.”
I can’t say I was calmed by that, I was breaking down into tears, terror getting the best of me, unable to control the emotion at all.
Another pair of arms wrap around, this time from behind. They were tight in grip too, and also had a hint of blue berries to them.
“Where here, don’t worry. We’re not going to leave you.”
My heart started to ease, the fear sliding away now that I was in some sort of safety away from the monsters and that knowing as of now, they were not going to come back until the next time I closed my eyes. It wasn’t comforting, but sometimes you can only take one step at a time.
I was becoming aware as the press of bodies holding me relaxed, that they were not the only one’s present. I felt really nervous now, really wishing that the monster inside my head did kill me.
“Everything’s all right Gum, Corn. He’s just badly shaken. Yo-yo here will make sure he goes back to getting rest, won’t you Yo?”
“I certainly will Ryth.” The first voice said softly, still with one arm wrapped around me. I noticed the other arm was in a sling from my place resting so close to him, slowly things where falling into place. Ryth moved away from me and walked out the room, herding the others away before closing the door.
“Are you…” I ventured once we were alone.
“Am I? OH!” Yo-yo sat bad from me a bit taken by surprise. “Yeah I’m fine. One of the bullets that went through your shoulder got me in the arm. You got hit a few times, till people trampled over the tops of us. The police finally did arrive though, not soon enough for some poor bastards.” He fell quiet. “We were all worried about you, Soda could see over the press of people helping small children and I tried coming back for you. I almost had you before the bullets….”
I just rested my head on his shoulder. “Just don’t leave me behind.” I whispered. “I’m not ready to face any daemons on my own.”
I didn’t bother looking for an answer to that, and was relieved when he didn’t respond. I must have really given them a fright waking up in the state that I did, so it didn’t take a great leap for him to know that I had a nightmare while I was out cold.
“Huh, that wasn’t there before.”
I raised my head a little. “What wasn’t?”
“I saw Ryth and Gum patch you up while Jazz was doing my arm. You didn’t have those marks down your back… but you do now.” he laughed. “Unless you found a tattoo parlour recently that used invisible ink.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” I said sitting upright now, that sinking feeling coming back to me. I didn’t have any time to be bothered with doing that sort of stuff like the other guys. Yo-yo got up and grabbed two mirrors handed me one and shifted the other so my back was reflected in the first one.
I opened my mouth a few times before deciding to leave it shut. I wondered for a moment weather it was worth telling him about the flying rodents and the mechanical monsters, but Yo-yo’s attention span was pretty short at the moment and quite possibly wouldn’t believe me, not after everything just happened.
“Anyway, you should get some rest, I’ll get you something to eat, you’d have to be starving being out of it for three days.” He got up and let himself out leaving me on my own for a short while. I held the mirrors up myself with a bit of difficulty just to check it was still there. Maybe I should tell someone, but I guess it could wait a few days. I lay back down and pulled the sheets up, but didn’t even attempt the notion of sleep, pretty certain that I still wasn’t ready to believe that any of that was real or that any of this was real.
The only thing I am defiantly certain of was the pain that that rodent inflicted upon me and had left me with a gift that was burned into my flesh. For me, it was the only proof that I needed that those daemons where real and where waiting for me… and that I needed to be ready for them next time.