Work Text:
Words were never Moon Taeil’s strongest aspect, everyone in the group knows that. To Taeil, words were never a weapon but a sort of weakness – he could only fathom a few phrases out of his mouth and only when he is needed to talk, otherwise he was never one to do the talking in the group, often leaving the talking job to Doyoung, Jaehyun and sometimes Donghyuck, whom had seemed to be rather more comfortable with words than the older male would ever. If anything, words were Taeil’s inferior complexity and Taeil had preferred for the others to do the talking because he was more of a listener than a talker.
Maybe that’s why everyone else would often come knocking on the door of Taeil’s shared room to have him hear them out. Often, the youngsters of the group, Mark and Donghyuck (and sometimes Jeno, Jaemin and even Jisung, if they dared), would be the regular visitors to Taeil’s room; they would share their troubles of being the younger aged members of such a large group where majority of the members are older than they are and how they all wished to have their responsibilities carry out properly. Other times, it was either asking for simple advices like how to get rid of stage frights, how to improve on their vocals and even how to solve some math questions for their school homework to feeling a bit off and insecure of their unknown debut and even to the simplest question of ‘what are we going to eat today?’. Taeil had always enjoyed hearing the younger ones out as they were ever enthusiastic about their problems and how they are all passionate in wanting fixing their flaws for the better.
Other times, members like Doyoung or Jaehyun would come by asking if they could have vocal rehearsals together or when sometimes Yuta have trouble communicating in the Korean language and was tired from all the translating he has to do in order to get his message through or when Hansol didn’t feel like talking either, Taeil had always been the best non-verbal communicator to them than the rest would – often, the three would opt for silence or have some music shared as a form of communication between themselves and the rest. Other times, Sicheng and Kun, whom would feel homesick once in a blue moon would sometimes sneak into the elder’s room and with no complains or even being asked to do so, Taeil would sing to the two Chinese boys of their favourite songs from their homeland or of their mother tongue – something to remind both Sicheng and Kun that even in a foreign country, there is still home.
However, his favourite ‘visitor’ would have to be Lee Taeyong. It wasn’t entirely him being biased towards the ‘fierce-looking’ doe-eyed male but in a way, Moon Taeil felt like he and Taeyong had more ‘communication’ and understanding than the older male would ever have with the other members. Taeyong had always been the one speaking, given that Taeil would be the one listening to him. Unlike the other members, Taeyong would only talk to Taeil when it’s late at night in their shared room and once almost every other members have fallen asleep and when the room is all dark and quiet, Taeyong would only then begin talking.
Taeil would never question whatever Taeyong would say or confess, not unless when he is required to and it doesn’t happen often for him to be ever curious of what the other male is thinking when Taeyong opens wholeheartedly to Taeil. Not even when sometimes Taeyong cries and showed his weaker side to Taeil and the younger male’s tears would soaked the pillowcase as the Taeyong confessed about his hardship to the older male and the difficulties of how the company puts weights to his shoulder in him being the centre of the group and how he is the ‘unofficial appointed leader’ that is left in charge to make sure everyone gets their shit together and for them to not screw up. In short, Taeyong was left to play the bad guy when in reality, Taeyong is nothing but a bottled emotions of insecurity and self-loathe due to who he is and what he was in the past.
Times like these often got Taeil up from his bed despite how sore and tired his bones and joints are from their intense dance practices earlier and even when his throat is sore from his vocal practices, Taeil managed to utter a word or two to comfort the younger male (or in this case, had try comforting Taeyong). It doesn’t make much sense because the word ‘uhm’ and ‘sorry’ don’t really correlate in a sentence properly before Taeil got himself on Taeyong’s bed, closing whatever gap they had between them under the covers as they looked at each other face-to-face.
Taeil has his arms over Taeyong’s middle – warm and secure as Taeil’s palms are pressed against Taeyong’s sore back, rubbing soothing gestures against the younger male’s back to calm Taeyong from his sobbing and whatever the younger male was feeling at the moment. Taeyong lets him because the other male doesn’t say anything after the two words from earlier before Taeyong had leaned in close to the older male’s embrace, letting himself feel all too comfortable in the older male’s embrace. It may not mean much to Taeil when the older male had hugged him but Taeyong liked to think that Taeil’s hugs are like medicine and a reminder that his sacrifices and hardwork are not in vain. The gesture alone had meant so much to Taeyong and in a way, it had comforted him and had become his ‘anchor’ – a form of comforting non-verbal message to say that Taeil has got his back.
Taeyong does not need to ask the other male for any form of advice or a form of spoken assurance when Taeil has always been sincere with his hugs and for putting up and listening to Taeyong when he knows the older male needed sleep more than anything – more than hearing Taeyong rant out to him past midnight. But Moon Taeil never complains but instead, he would always offer Taeyong warm hugs when the younger male needed them and sometimes even when Taeil is tired, he would fall asleep while having to embrace Taeyong because this is how he and Taeyong would communicate. This is how it has always been – this is the way things are.