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Rejoice is hanging upside-down from the rafters when Tai walks in.
“Don’t,” Tai says immediately, tensing up.
Rejoice grins anyway, hair falling into his eyes. “Bro. I’m soooo ready to stab someone.”
Tai drops his inventory onto the table harder than necessary. “You’re just bored. Get down
before you fall.”
“I’m fine,” Rejoice says, swinging a little. “I’ve got lots of core strength. See?”
“You have a death wish,” Tai says flatly.
Rejoice laughs, lets go, and hits the floor in a clatter of armor and limbs.
"Owwwww." he whines, as he attempts to sit back up.
"Bro, I literally told you not to do that," Tai scolds, extending a hand towards Rejoice.
Rejoice tugs on his hand as he hauls himself up, dusting off his now dented armor.
“See? I'm perfectly fine.”
Tai stares at him for a long moment. “I hate you.”
“No you don’t.”
“I actually do.”
Rejoice bumps his shoulder as he passes. “You’d miss me if I left. Anyways, can we go bully ItsN00B? I kinda wanna kill him."
“Why? Do you have any legitimate reasoning?”
“Why not?!”
Tai rolls his eyes."...Fine. But just this one time."
“Yay!” Rejoice squeals, pumping his fist into the air. “I’m so excited!”
They prep for a fight with the same routine every single time—Rejoice bouncing around the
base, slamming open chests, saying his own thoughts out loud like he’s streaming to an
invisible audience.
Tai sharpens his sword in silence, watching him scuttle around the base out of the corner of his eye.
Rejoice stops suddenly. “Wait.”
Busy squinting at his reflection in his freshly sharpened sword, Tai doesn’t bother looking up. “If this is another one of your stupid ideas—”
“Look at this,” Rejoice says, holding up a stack of dripstone and a crossbow .
His grin is feral, decorated with sharp, pointy teeth. “Tell me this isn’t about to be hilarious.”
Tai sighs. “You’re going to get us killed.”
Rejoice gasps, acting offended. “Wow. And I thought we were the strongest duo!”
“You once jumped into lava to see if it hurt.’”
“And it did!” Rejoice says proudly. “I was right!”
Tai finally looks at him. “You’re sick in the head.”
"Oh, Tai. My sweet, sweet, Tai.” Rejoice laughs, already bounding out the door as he turns around to lock eyes with Tai.
“You think I don’t already know that?"
They head out in pursuit of ItsN00B's base right as the sun comes up.
Tai tightens his grip on his sword as he shakes off all the tension in his limbs.
Rejoice rolls his shoulders, armor glinting in the sunlight.
"Oh, N00B,” he croons, striding over to the bushes near N00B’s base. “where are youuu~"
A figure pops out of the shrubbery, clad in dusty diamond armor.
“What the fuck do you want, Rejoice?” N00B says, high pitched voice betraying a hint of fear.
“Oh nothing… I just want to kill you!” Rejoice says, a huge grin stretching on his face.
Then he charges.
Tai follows close behind, daggers glinting in the sunlight.
ItsN00B takes one glance at the crazed look on Rejoice’s face, and immediately starts running.
Hurriedly taking out his communicator, he screams into the device for back up.
“HELP REJOICE AND TAI ARE CHASING ME SOMEBODY FUCKING COME HELP ME BEFORE I DIE!”
After a few beats of silence, Spong’s voice crackles through the radio. “Yo, dude, we can’t help you. We’re thousands of blocks away.”
DoomedCow chirps in behind him, “Yeah, we’re on the nether roof right now bro. Good luck with Rejoice!”
The signal drops, and cuts out, leaving ItsN00B screaming for mercy.
“Yo, dude, we can talk about this right?” he cries, backing up with his hands up. “What did I ever do to you?
Rejoice looks at Tai, and then says with a completely serious tone. “Your voice is annoying. It's way too squeaky and mousy! Like just grow up already!”
“THATS NOT A VALID REASON!” shouts ItsN00B as he sprints away, “IT’S NOT MY FAULT!”
Rejoice giggles and turns to Tai. “Can you go catch him real quick? I want to test my idea out!”
“My pleasure.”
Tai takes off hot on N00B’s heels, disappearing out of Rejoice’s sight as he catches up to the runaway.
Rejoice watches them disappear into the distance, then takes his crossbow out, and pulls the bolt back. He loads his specially crafted arrow into the dispenser and inspects his creation.
“Perfect.”
Instead of a traditional arrowhead that adorns most arrows, these arrows are mounted with sharpened slivers of dripstone.
Deadly, and made to spill blood.
Rejoice lifts the crossbow, lining it up with his target.
Somewhere ahead, Tai’s footsteps thump against the ground as he herds ItsN00B to exactly where Rejoice wants him.
“Alright,” Rejoice murmurs to himself, rocking back on his heels in anticipation. “Let’s see if it works.”
A shout echoes through the trees.
“TAI WAIT—WAIT—I’LL GIVE YOU MY DIAMONDS—”
Tai bursts back into view, skidding sideways as ItsN00B stumbles into the clearing, panic making his movements sloppy.
The second N00B realizes Rejoice is standing there, crossbow raised and smiling like it’s Christmas morning, his soul visibly leaves his body.
“OH COME ON—”
Thunk.
The bolt whistles through the air in a jagged curve. It hits the ground just in front of ItsN00B’s feet–
“HA! YOU MISSED—”
–and shatters, dripstone shards exploding upward, seeking any surface to dig its claws into.
The effect is immediate.
ItsN00B screams as the jagged slivers tear through his armor, bleeding as the spikes ruthlessly attack his skin.
He collapses, scrambling backward on his hands, eyes wide and wild.
“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT,” Tai yells, skidding to a halt beside Rejoice.
Rejoice watches with rapt attention, head tilted, as if ItsN00B is his experiment and he’s the mad scientist. “Ohhh, nice range. That’s really good attack damage too.”
“You made a fragmentation arrow?” Tai snaps, half horrified, half impressed, despite the horrors he just witnessed.
Rejoice beams. “I know, right? Dripstone’s brittle but sharp—so when it hits—”
“I KNOW HOW IT WORKS,” Tai says, staring at itsN00B, who is writhing in pain. “Jesus.”
ItsN00B lets out a pathetic sob. “PLEASE—PLEASE I’LL LOG OUT—I’LL MOVE BASES—I’LL EVEN INSTALL A VOICE CHANGER—”
Rejoice crouches in front of him, resting his chin in his palm. His grin never wavers, but his eyes glitter with something feral.
“See, the thing is,” he says cheerfully, “now I gotta test it again. For consistency, of course. I gotta check if it will work again.”
Tai exhales through his nose. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”
“You say that like you’re surprised." Rejoice says as he stands, smoothly reloading the crossbow with another arrow.
Tai steps forward, grabbing his wrist before he can fire again.
“That’s enough,” Tai says, low and firm. “He’s done.”
For a moment, Rejoice just stares at him—expression unreadable.
Then he laughs, bright and easy, and drops the crossbow on the ground.
“Aww. Fine. You’re no fun.”
Tai releases him, slashing at ItsN00B with one clean swipe of his dagger. ItsN00B’s avatar goes limp, items spilling across the grass in a glittering mess.
Silence settles over the clearing.
Rejoice hums, already rifling through the dropped loot. “Ooo, look at that—he did have diamonds.”
Tai wipes his blade on the grass, glancing at Rejoice from the corner of his eye. “One day,” he says quietly, “your ideas are going to get you killed.”
Rejoice looks up at him, eyes bright, grin sharp.
“Yeah,” he says lightly. “But not today. Not with you still here with me.”
And somehow, that doesn’t reassure Tai at all.