Chapter Text
“Are you ready to do this for another season?”
Shane caressed Ilya’s chest and looked up to see Ilya’s reaction. They were cuddled up on the sofa at the cottage, on their last week before the whole pre-season madness started.
Ilya looked back at him, and was that anxiety in his eyes? “Another season of what?”
“Hiding.”
They had hidden their relationship for 10 years already. This will be Ilya’s third season in Ottawa. And Shane had been thinking a lot about what the start of the season would bring.
The summer had been a balm for them, spending their days together and finding their way to each other. The start of the season meant getting appart again, and each year it was getting harder to get used to the separation.
He remember how hard it had been before the summer. Winning the playoffs had been incredible, but it also meant he barely saw Ilya during that month. When he finally got to rise the Cup, he understood why Scott came out the way he did. All Shane wanted was to celebrate with his partner.
Right now, however, his mind drifted to a conversation he had with his mother, after a celebratory dinner at home. They were in the kitchen, doing the dishes, while his father and Ilya started a new puzzle. His mother asked if everything was alright with Ilya, that he didn’t seem to have friends in town, even after two years. She said he put on a happy face for them, but she was worried that he was lonely. At the time, still exhilerated from his victory and the whole summer in front of them, Shane had dismissed her concerns. But he had payed attention, and he saw how much Ilya had enjoyed their time during the camps for the Irina fundation, with friends and save people all around them. And right now, he could see the clouds that threatened Ilya’s smile.
“Sure.” Ilya shrugged off.
Shane couldn’t solve their problems, they couldn’t simply announce their relationship to the world without consequence, but there was one small thing he could do, maybe, to alliviate the pressure for Ilya a bit.
“You can tell someone, you know.”
Ilya looked confused. “What?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. Since… well, since we went out with Ryan and Fabian.” He took a deep breath. “I have Hayden, and Rose. It’s good to know I don’t have to hide myself with them. You should have that too.”
“I have you. And your parents, too” Ilya hugged him closer.
Shane frowned. “My parents are biased.”
“Of course they are. They love me more!” And Ilya gave him his crooked smile, the one Shane loves so much.
Shane slapped his arm. “Ilya, I’m serious.”
Ilya grabbed his hand and caressed it for a while. “I know. It’s just… We always talked how dangerous it was coming out to people. I want you to be safe.”
That made him smile. “I know. But it’s also about what Fabian said. How it is hard, having to hide all the time.”
"yes. No." Ilya considered. “Maybe? I’m so used to it already,” he shrugged again. “And then, there are times I’d like to tell everybody, scream from the top of a mountain that you are mine.” He cups his hands around his mouth and play-screams “I love Shane Hollander!”
Shane smiled at Ilya’s antics. “Well, maybe you could start with one or two people? I trust you to tell someone that will know how to keep our secret.”
“I’ll think about it.” Ilya kissed him lightly, before adding, in a low voice “And thank you.”