Chapter Text
I hate the way you smile. i hate how you smiled with your entire face. I also hate your eyes, they are amber with soft long lashes.
I hate the way you play tennis. like an artist. the burst of energy. the passion. I hate your drop shots. It can be anywhere on the court. Sometimes I wonder what is on your mind when you come up with those crazy shots.
I hate the moment in paris, when you hugged me. I can smell the scent of clay and your sweat. Your arms draped around me, and mine draped around yours. How your hazel eyes flashed with the joy of victory. How you talked about making history with me.
I hate it so much it haunts me in those endless nights. those match points, those screams, those hidden tears in locker room.
I hate they way you talked about me. always praising, saying how good my tennis is and how much you enjoy watching me play.
I also hate that when no one believes that I can become one of the best, you are the only one who believe in me.
But mostly, I hate the way I dont hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
how can I hate you? I love tennis, and you are tennis. and maybe, tennis is love itself.
but how can I love you? You hurt me so bad all the time, in the worst way possible. Distanced, over the net. I looked into your eyes and you looked into mine.
those sweats dripping down, those ball striking, those intense emotions. maybe in those moments, we are together, alone, no audience, no coaching team, no umpire. no one, just us, in somewhere beautiful.