Chapter Text
When Daeyoung was little, his parents often spoke in hushed tones about things Daeyoung was too young too understand. As he grew older, they constantly reminded him to tell them if he was ever ill or feeling lonely or sad. Daeyoung didn't understand why they were so worried until he was a bit older and started hearing about hanahaki.
According to folk tales and stories, there were some people who just had too much love to give. So much love that, if unrequited or even unmatched, it would manifest as flowers growing in their lungs. Modern medicine hadn't explained much more except that it was genetic and could be screened from an early age. It only affected a small number of the population, nothing serious. But that was how Daeyoung's parents knew he carried the trait.
There were some people who carried the trait who never exhibited the disease's symptoms, who lived their entire lives without feeling the pain of unrequited love. But Daeyoung had never been good at listening to his parents about guarding his heart, because he had never managed to restrict his feelings for anyone. Thankfully, he had never experienced unrequited feelings before.
Those who carried the hanahaki trait could develop the disease over platonic or romantic feelings, but most popular media focused on the romantic aspect. It was true that most tragedies that resulted from hanahaki were romantically caused, as romantic feelings tended to be more troublesome than platonic.
For idols, hanahaki was a double edged sword. Fans liked saying their favorite idol carried the trait, because wouldn't it be so romantic if their idol held so much love to give to their fans? For some fans, they liked to imagine tragic stories of unrequited love between their favorite ship. Thankfully, there hadn't been a case yet where a fan developed the disease for an idol, likely because the feelings weren't true enough. However, fans still enjoyed fantasizing about hanahaki scenarios with their favorite idol.
But what wasn't discussed was the darker side of idols carrying the hanahaki trait. There were rumors of trainees leaving companies and idols leaving groups because they developed hanahaki for their members or fellow trainees and having their love unrequited. Did they get the surgery, or did they let the disease consume them until asphyxiation?
The more insidious side of fans placing idols into their hanahaki fantasies was the concept of an idol having already undergone the surgery to remove the flowers from their chest. It was universally known, but ignored, that after the infamous surgery the patient's personality would forever be altered by their inability to give the same type of love as before. Never again would that person be able to develop hanahaki, never again would that person feel the same depth to their emotions, and never again would that person feel anything about the object of their former desires.
There were four alleged outcomes to developing hanahaki. The easiest was that the feelings would dissipate over time. Slightly more difficult would be that the feelings were requited. A harder choice would be choosing surgery. And never discussed was the option of letting the disease kill.
Daeyoung knew if he ever developed the disease, he would never be able to take the easy way out.
When Daeyoung was scouted by SM, his parents naively thought it would prevent Daeyoung from developing hanahaki. After all, if he experienced love from fans after debuting, how could he ever feel unloved?
Carrying the trait was something confidential, so strictly speaking, SM didn't know Daeyoung could contract hanahaki. After all, it could prevent them from signing a contract with him, on the chance of Daeyoung developing the disease and ruining his career and voice.
It also meant that none of the other trainees knew Daeyoung carried the trait. No one ever really talked about it, anyway. As someone who could develop hanahaki, the possibility loomed over Daeyoung every single day even if he didn't think about it. For those without the trait, it was a passing thought that only came about when the subject was brought to their attention.
As a trainee, Daeyoung worked as hard as he could to catch up to the other trainees. After joining LASTART, everything still seemed fine. And after the miracle of making it to the debut lineup, Daeyoung could only feel victory.
For a time, Daeyoung was too busy to worry about something as trivial as hanahaki. His life was an endless list of practices, photoshoots, and lessons to attend that he never paid attention to his feelings. Sure, he moved into a new dorm and did his best to get to know his other members who knew each other much better than they did him, but that was manageable. Everything was workable. He could ignore the fluttering in his chest and almost painful happiness he felt sometimes. It was easy to pretend that Daeyoung didn't yearn for something more.
It wasn't until months after their debut, when Sion and Riku were once again teasing Daeyoung and Sakuya about their awkward dynamic that Daeyoung felt the tell-tale forbidden prickle in the back of his throat accompanied by his chest constricting.
At first, Daeyoung tried to convince himself he was hallucinating. He laughed off the awkward jokes they made about him and Sakuya - really, Daeyoung thought he was closer to Sakuya than some of the other members - and ignored the way Ryo didn't say I love you back to him at night when they shared a room. Not everyone expressed love the same way, after all. He was perfectly understanding of the pre-existing friendships and relationships within WISH, and never got jealous of how close Yushi and Riku and Sion were. He didn't yearn for the soulmate dynamic Sion and Yushi had fallen into, he wasn't jealous of how easily Yushi opened up to Riku and the maknaes despite his sometimes reserved personality. Daeyoung didn't wonder if Riku actually liked him or if it was just his personality.
And worst out of the three was Sion. Daeyoung ignored the way Sion treated him differently than all the other members. It was just because he was Korean that Sion probably felt the necessity of upholding his status as the older member and that their dynamic wasn't as playful. It was just because Daeyoung admired Sion and treated him with such respect that Sion didn't tease Daeyoung as playfully, that he didn't spoil Daeyoung and instead relied on him as a dependable member. It didn't bother Daeyoung at all the way Sion distanced himself when Daeyoung complimented him, when Daeyoung watched Sion dancing, or when Daeyoung moved closer to Sion.
What was most pressing was the way he felt watching Yushi, Riku, and Sion together in their bubble of something. They had never formally told Daeyoung - he didn't know if they had ever talked about it with Sakuya or Ryo - if they were in a relationship or not, but it was universally known that Yushi, Riku, and Sion were together in some sense. Daeyoung knew it in the way they disappeared sometimes, only to return with their hair mussed and lips reddened, in the way Sion visited Yushi, Riku, and Daeyoung's dorm far too often and the noises he heard at night.
Daeyoung had accepted it from before debut, that he could never integrate himself into that group. It hadn't bothered him then, even on the day he realized he longed to be with them in the way they were with each other. He ignored the way he wanted to be someone important to them in the way they were to each other, in the way they were to him. Those feelings weren't serious, he told himself.
It didn't bother Daeyoung at all, until one day he woke up coughing up tulip petals.
Sion wasn't treating Daeyoung poorly or anything like that at all. No, Sion treated Daeyoung like an immature younger brother. Daeyoung hadn't thought he would have any issues with this, except for the fact that Sion showered all of the other members with affection. Yushi and Riku were doted on because of whatever relationship the three of them were in, and Sion adored Sakuya and Ryo and viewed them as his pseudo-children. Meanwhile, Daeyoung was Sion's favorite to ask to cook or help him run errands, not the one he would joke around with and coo over. Daeyoung was too tall, too mature to be hugged or kissed or teased.
When Daeyoung asked Sion to help him practice choreography, Sion agreed easily, giving him firm advice and sparing compliments. Obviously, Daeyoung didn't expect glowing praise or anything, but it was hard for him to not perceive a distance between them even when it was just them in the room. When they practiced as a group, Daeyoung noticed the way Sion's eyes lit up watching everyone else and how freely he complimented everyone else. Daeyoung knew he was the weakest dancer in the group, but it was another thing to feel so behind. Sion would praise his voice, but it felt more compulsory than genuine. Daeyoung was selected for his voice, after all.
Maybe that was why tulips were growing in Daeyoung's chest. Because while it wasn't just with Sion that Daeyoung felt awkward with, but he felt the largest gap between him and Sion.
The day before Daeyoung first coughed out petals, Sion and Riku had once again been teasing Daeyoung and Sakuya about how awkward they were together as they rode back in the van next to each other. Sakuya wasn't really laughing, just tolerating their jokes, but Daeyoung felt uncomfortable by how amused the others were from Daeyoung interacting with Sakuya. Even though Daeyoung felt comfortable with Sakuya - felt most at ease and relaxed around him because there was no need to pretend to be someone he wasn't - the other members thought otherwise. Sakuya was the member who had wanted Daeyoung to do more dance challenges with him after debut, never mentioning Daeyoung's anxiety over his dance abilities. And yet, as Sakuya and Daeyoung sat next to each other in silence, Daeyoung couldn't help but wonder if Sakuya thought otherwise as he turned the word awkward over in his mind.
After, Daeyoung returned to their dorm and went straight to his room. It was different now that they had moved to a larger dorm. He missed rooming with Ryo, even though he was sure Ryo was tired of Daeyoung's need for affection. It was fine that Ryo never said I love you back to Daeyoung. It wasn't Ryo's thing.
But now that they all had their own room, different dorms even, Daeyoung felt a bit discomfited by the silence. While at least Sion wasn't in his dorm, the loss of Sakuya and Ryo were noticeable. Often, Yushi and Riku would stay up together, watching movies or speaking in quiet Japanese that Daeyoung couldn't quite follow yet. Daeyoung didn't want to intrude during those moments.
The worst was when Sion would visit their dorm, and would join Yushi and Riku in Yushi's room. Daeyoung would always hide away in his room, because he was obviously never invited and didn't want to think too much about the noises he would hear. The most horrible part about Sion's visits, though, was the beginning of Sion's visits where they would all pretend they wanted Daeyoung with them in the living room by the TV.
That night, Sion didn't come over. Not feeling well, Daeyoung took the first shower and avoided talking to Yushi and Riku. Maybe he strained his voice, he thought worriedly. He had said good night to Yushi and Riku, who only nodded in response, and shut the door to his room. He didn't fall asleep easily, worrying over the phantom itch in his throat and sore throat he must have caught.
Daeyoung woke up in a haze the next morning, his alarm blaring. Stumbling out of bed, Daeyoung sighed in relief when he realized he hadn't overslept. His throat was exceptionally dry, though, and it felt like his illness had gotten worse.
Going to the bathroom, Daeyoung searched the cabinets for medicine and cough drops. "Daeyoung, are you almost done? We have to leave soon," Riku called through the door.
"One second," Daeyoung answered, but that was clearly the wrong thing to do because suddenly the pain in his throat intensified and he coughed. It was a dry cough, one that made his chest rattle and head pound. Squeezing his eyes shut, Daeyoung coughed a few more times before blinking blearily at a white petal laying innocently on the bathroom floor.
Daeyoung felt dizzy. He drank water hastily, closing his eyes and hoping he had just hallucinated it. But when he looked again, there it was. A tiny white petal - a tulip, it seemed - stuck to the floor. Something his parents had always warned him about.
"Daeyoung?" Riku called again.
Daeyoung threw the petal in the trash, unable to think in his state of fear and disbelief. It couldn't be. It couldn't be, because Daeyoung was happy in his group and grateful and he loved them so much -
Too much, apparently. Stumbling out of the bathroom, Daeyoung dashed to his bedroom and threw on his clothes. It was fine. He would figure it out. The disease didn't feel serious yet, it wouldn't cause much harm to him at this stage.
In the car ride to the company, Daeyoung was too occupied in his thoughts to pay attention to what his members were talking about. But clearly they paid no mind to his silence either because no one talked to Daeyoung either.
He didn't want to tell his parents. They would probably freak out and force him to go on hiatus to try and overcome his feelings. They would want him to talk to his members and resolve his loneliness. He couldn't them or the company - this was all his fault. Normal people would be fine with their dynamic. It was Daeyoung's problem he wanted more than just camaraderie.
It only occurred to him when they arrived at the company building that they were supposed to record today. Daeyoung swallowed nervously, unwrapping a cough drop and sucking on it. He didn't know yet how the disease would impact his voice.
"Daeyoung ah," Sion called, and Daeyoung perked up against his will. "Is it okay if you go first in the recording session today? The rest of us are going to film a few videos."
"I see," Daeyoung said, his chest tightening painfully. "No, I don't mind, I'll do it."
Although Daeyoung had avoided dance challenges right after their debut, he didn't mind doing them now. It was just that not everyone had bothered to ask him if he had changed his mind. And clearly, they were perfectly fine doing them without him.
Entering the recording booth, Daeyoung greeted the producers nervously. This session wasn't being recorded, thankfully, because Daeyoung knew his face looked pale and afraid.
He warmed up, avoiding eye contact with the producers, staring at his lines. At first, everything seemed fine. His voice wasn't cracking or faltering, but he drank ten times more water than usual.
After every few lines, Daeyoung turned away to cough, shaking because of it. It must have been Sion's comment, he thought dully, opening another water bottle. If only he wasn't so sensitive.
He waved off the producers, breathing slowly to try and calm himself. This was a normal aspect of the disease, he knew. It got worse when loneliness was felt more strongly. He was just panicking because he coughed out his first petal today.
What made Daeyoung crumble was when his voice cracked in the middle of recording. Staring at the floor, he apologized, feeling ready to tear his hair out. He just needed to stop thinking. Stop thinking about Sion and everyone else in the practice room filming challenges together.
Just then, the door opened, Yushi looking in the room curiously. Normally, Daeyoung was done by this time, and Yushi was clearly wondering where Daeyoung was. From inside the booth, Daeyoung couldn't really hear what they were saying. But the way Yushi glanced at Daeyoung, shocked and a little concerned, Daeyoung knew the producers had told Yushi he was ill or something.
"Daeyoung ssi," the producer said. "How about you take a break? We can continue after the rest of the group finishes."
Daeyoung nodded numbly, taking his things and stepping out of the booth, bowing in apology.
"Daeyoung, is everything okay?" Yushi asked quietly, stopping Daeyoung, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "I heard you coughing this morning too."
"I'm okay, hyung," Daeyoung said, smiling as brightly as he could. Oh, how embarrassing it was for Daeyoung because as soon as Yushi started talking to him, the pain in his chest was fading and his cough dissipating. "It's just a cough."
"Tell Sion hyung," was all Yushi said.
When Daeyoung entered their practice room, Sion came up to Daeyoung before he could put his things down. "You took longer than usual," he said. "Did something happen? Were they harsher today?"
"No, hyung, I think I have a cough," Daeyoung said apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was taking a long time. They told me to come back at the end."
Sion put his hand on Daeyoung's shoulder, and Daeyoung held his breath, unable to tear his gaze away from Sion's face. "Make sure you don't overwork yourself," he said, his face serious. "I know you want to practice extra for dancing and singing, but it's not good if you get sick or strain your voice."
"I won't," Daeyoung apologized.
Sion pulled Daeyoung closer to him for a second, then two, and then let go again. "Don't worry, Daeyoung, I'm sure today was just an off day."
"Thank you," Daeyoung said, in a daze. And just like that, Daeyoung didn't have to cough anymore.
Daeyoung knew that in early stages of hanahaki, the symptoms were alleviated easily by the slightest amount of unusual affection or attention. Daeyoung just hoped he would be able to overcome the disease entirely, but he knew it wouldn't be that simple. Not for him.
It was strange how careful everyone was towards him. Riku clung to his side, apologizing for not noticing how sick he was in the morning. Sakuya offered him candies, and Ryo offered to get him more water. When Yushi returned, there was a strange look in his eyes as he watched Daeyoung when he thought Daeyoung wasn't paying attention.
Selfishly, Daeyoung wished this was how they treated him every day.
By the time Daeyoung had to return to the recording booth, he sang everything perfectly, apologizing one more time to the producers as he left. There was relief in his heart, for sure, but also worry. There was always a chance of the disease affecting him more in the future.
When Daeyoung was almost back at their practice room, he heard his name float out of the slightly ajar door.
"… he pushes himself a lot," Yushi was saying. "I'm worried about his voice, in particular."
Daeyoung shuffled backwards, straining to listen. "Yeah. He can push himself dancing until his body gives up, but he'll at least stop. But with his voice…" That was Riku, Daeyoung thought.
"He can't lose his voice," Sion cut in, his voice the clearest out of everyone. "Not after Jungmin…"
Daeyoung stopped listening, his mind a mess. His chest started to seize again and he hurried to the bathroom, throat prickling against his will. It was nice for a while to think that they were all worried over him because they cared, but Daeyoung knew deep down the larger concern was over his voice.
When Jungmin stepped back from their debut preparations, there had been a period of uncertainty and anxiety over their group. Everyone had hoped that he would recover in time, but when they heard that he wouldn't be debuting with them, Daeyoung didn't know what to do. Sion was the most anxious out of them all, as he became very strict about practicing too much and resting enough, but it unsettled everyone. It was a startling reminder of how fragile their career could be.
Daeyoung should have known that they were mostly concerned because it seemed like Daeyoung was overworking his voice. Even if he told them it was a nonthreatening illness, it was natural that they would be reminded of a much more serious situation.
And how selfish was Daeyoung for making this about himself?
Daeyoung swallowed heavily, willing the itching in his throat to subside. It didn't matter that they were only concerned about his vocal ability and contributions to the group, he told himself. They were still concerned about him in their own way. They still cared.
When he left the bathroom, he made more noise on his way to the practice room, relieved when he didn't hear them talking this time. He felt eyes on him when he entered, but ignored them in favor of stretching. Everything was fine.
When Daeyoung was told he would join LASTART, his stomach was filled with anxiety. He was familiar with all of the trainees in the lineup, but he was the newest one by far and spent more time with the newer trainees. Joining late was difficult because he would need to prove himself for being the newest and catch up with everyone else. As much as Daeyoung was extroverted and friendly, he also worried about being likeable to the other trainees.
It was even difficult when he found out he was going to debut. Daeyoung had been closest with Minjae, and it was even harder when he found out Minjae left SM not too long after LASTART. But although Daeyoung wasn't as close with the members of the debut lineup, they quickly grew closer as they trained together. Their experiences on the show brought them together in their own way, washing away Daeyoung's worries.
In the few months they had, it felt like they spent all their hours together. When Jungmin left, it felt like they grew even closer out of necessity. It was a relief when Daeyoung felt at east with everyone, when they praised how far he had come and his singing.
In reality, Daeyoung understood that there was nothing wrong with his relationships with his members. They all liked him. But there were times where Daeyoung got too in his head about things, fixated on certain details, and thought too much about his feelings. That was what led to his disease.
Maybe it was getting his own room and the members being split into two dorms that contributed to it. Daeyoung didn't know.
(Maybe it was the way his gaze would always linger on his three older members.)
What was stranger was how easily Daeyoung adapted to being on camera. There was hardly a practice or meeting that wasn't filmed, and Daeyoung learned to smile for the camera and lean close to his members, hyper aware of how he was acting and what he was saying. He laughed easily when teased by his members, engaged in their skinship, and played up his personality. It was easy to forget where the real Daeyoung existed and where Jaehee lived.
Sometimes Daeyoung felt like he could only be honest when he was Jaehee, when the camera light blinked on and he was able to cling to Sion and Sion wouldn't shy away. It was nice when Yushi would wander over and lean against Daeyoung, when they were on live and Yushi wouldn't move away like normal. It was fun to be chased around by Sakuya and Ryo, to let Riku compliment him and press kisses into his cheek.
It was just that when the camera shut off, Daeyoung didn't know if he was still allowed to ask for that. He didn't know if their actions were genuine or if it was all for show, if their touch and smiles and compliments were part of work or not.
Daeyoung didn't think any of his other members experienced these concerns. Or if they did, it didn't affect them. But for Daeyoung, he fixated on them so much so that they manifested into hanahaki.
And the tulips made perfect sense because Daeyoung knew he had spent too much time staring at Sion. Sion was the trainee Daeyoung originally wanted to become when he joined SM, and overtime his admiration had shifted towards infatuation. He wanted Sion to notice him, to simultaneously rely on Daeyoung and let Daeyoung lean on him. When Sion put his arm around Riku or talked about how Yushi was his soulmate, Daeyoung burned with the desire to be included.
Daeyoung's parents had always told him he loved too easily. But it had never led to hanahaki before. So when Daeyoung noticed the way his gaze gravitated towards Sion, he didn't think it way anything serious. It couldn't be, because he still felt the need to cling to Riku and his ears flushed from something other than embarrassment when Riku teased him. It wasn't serious, because Daeyoung felt the urge to make Yushi laugh and couldn't suppress his smile whenever Yushi touched him. But that was fine. It didn't mean he wanted desperately to be a part of the relationship they had with each other, to overcome the walls they built around themselves.
It was true that Daeyoung's feelings towards Sakuya and Ryo were different from the ones towards the older members. Maybe because Daeyoung was closer to them, maybe because he felt more comfortable with them - whatever it was, Daeyoung didn't know.
Whatever his feelings were towards his members, something was happening in Daeyoung's mind that made him feel lonely. It didn't matter what exactly he felt towards his members as long as he convinced himself he was loved or no longer felt the way he did. It might even not be entirely with the older members, the disease could be affected by his feelings towards Sakuya and Ryo as well.
The tulips that grew in Daeyoung's throat indicated the root of the problem was with Sion. But Daeyoung knew it wasn't just Sion, as the tangled mess of emotions he felt daily reminded him.
But Daeyoung was too embarrassed to tell anyone what was going on. He couldn't convince himself they would even understand, much less love him the way he desired.
Amidst Daeyoung's confusion over the exact cause of his hanahaki, he began to feel more conscious about the way he acted while doing his utmost best to hide the symptoms he felt.
At first, he tried staying away from Sion. It was his hope that if he just avoided Sion, and spent as much time as possible attached to everyone else, that the disease would slowly go away. He also attempted to focus his attention on Sakuya and Ryo first, because they were more approachable and didn't fill Daeyoung's stomach with anxiety.
Daeyoung clung to Ryo, talking awkwardly about how he missed rooming with Ryo. He let Ryo rebuke his touch and run in circles around him, because it still made Daeyoung smile.
With Sakuya, Daeyoung told him an endless stream of unfunny jokes and bought him as many pastries as he could afford. It was worth it to see Sakuya smile and tease him, he thought, the pressure in his chest lightening.
"Hyung, why have you been so nice recently?" Sakuya asked him one day, when they were getting ready to go on stage. Everyone else was busy having their makeup touched up or warming up, and Sakuya had asked Daeyoung if they wanted to film a challenge really quickly.
"What do you mean?" Daeyoung responded quietly, smiling at Sakuya's pout. "I'm always nice to you."
"I know, but this is different," Sakuya insisted. He paused, staring quizzically at Daeyoung. "You do everything for us, but you don't let us do anything for you."
Daeyoung frowned, shrinking under Sakuya's searching gaze. "I don't…"
"If you want something, you can ask me," Sakuya said finally, as Sion called for them in the background.
"Okay," Daeyoung said quietly, following Sakuya. Thankfully, Sakuya didn't bring it up again after the show.
Daeyoung found himself seeking out Sakuya and Ryo more after that, and they accepted the change wordlessly, even though sometimes Sakuya would still look at Daeyoung strangely. But Daeyoung didn't want to say anything, not when he wasn't coughing as much and his voice was still clear.
Because Daeyoung began spending more time in Sion, Ryo, and Sakuya's dorm, it was only natural that someone noticed.
"Daeyoung," Sion said one day, looking over to where Daeyoung was sitting on the couch next to Ryo and Sakuya. Daeyoung was reading a book, one he saw recommended online, while Sakuya and Ryo were playing a game next to him.
"Yes, hyung?" Daeyoung replied, looking up at Sion who had just returned from a schedule.
Sion walked over, lifting his hand slightly before jerking it backwards, as if he was about to reach out and touch Daeyoung but changed his mind. Daeyoung tried hard not to think too much about it.
"You've been spending a lot more time here," Sion said quietly. "But I somehow never see you." Well, that was probably because Daeyoung ran away as soon as Sion was nearby, he thought bitterly.
"Really?" Daeyoung said, putting the book down and laughing nervously. His chest constricted again at the intrusive, baseless thought of Sion not wanting him in his dorm. Daeyoung needed to stop himself. "Maybe it's because you've been busy while I've had more free time recently."
Sion nodded, his gaze dropping to the book before looking at Sakuya and Ryo and then back at Daeyoung. It was funny how Sion always called Sakuya and Daeyoung awkward, but Daeyoung really had no idea what to say to Sion when it was just them.
"Well, don't stay up too late," was all Sion said before disappearing to his room.
Daeyoung frowned, slouching further into the couch. It was evident that Ryo and Sakuya had paused their game to watch the absolute catastrophe that was Daeyoung around Sion.
"Sion is so weird," was all Sakuya said before losing interest.
Ryo just stared at Daeyoung, who smiled nervously. Ryo had always been better at reading Daeyoung.
"I think I should probably return to my dorm," Daeyoung offered quietly, coughing into his arm and swallowing back petals. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay, hyung," Ryo said. "If you say so."
It was true that Daeyoung had always admired Sion and craved Sion's approval and attention more than any other member. The moment when he realized this admiration was maybe a sign of something more, however, was during one of their practices together. Sion had offered to help Daeyoung master a particularly tricky part of the dance break early in the morning, and Daeyoung had set ten alarms to make sure he didn't oversleep.
He showed up to the practice room disheveled and looking like he needed ten more hours of sleep, and yet Sion looked perfect as always somehow.
Sion hadn't said much to Daeyoung, and Daeyoung just followed Sion, staring at his body in the mirror to try and copy his moves exactly. Occasionally, Sion would hum a good job or offer a correction, but for the most part only the sounds of their footsteps and the heavy beat of the music accompanied them.
"Daeyoung, let's go over the footwork on this part," Sion said suddenly, shutting off the music. "I think everything is fine except you're messing up these steps…"
As per usual, Daeyoung did nothing but follow Sion helplessly. Anything Sion told him was kept in his brain, because above all Daeyoung didn't want to disappoint Sion.
"Good work," Sion said, breaking into a smile when Daeyoung did it correctly. "And for your arms, just make sure to keep them level, okay?" His hand wrapped around Daeyoung's arm, bringing it up to the correct position. Daeyoung stared at Sion's hand, felt his touch burning on his skin, and trembled.
"Yes, hyung," he mumbled, his skin suddenly cold as Sion took his hand away. He wanted to take Sion's hand again, to be closer to Sion. He shook his head, forcing himself to focus as Sion turned the music back on. Whatever silly thoughts he had weren't just a distraction right now.
It wasn't until everyone else came for the rest of practice and Daeyoung saw the way Sion pulled Yushi into a tight hug and pressed kisses into a shy Riku's cheek that he realized that he longed to be right there with them, to have Sion look at him like he was desired.