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awsten gave a quick look of “helpmehelpmehelpme” to otto behind the set to his best capability and he recieved a look back that could only be interpreted as “sorry, but this is all yours to deal with”
which it absolutely was, but god forbid a guy tries to avoid consequences of his actions. realistically, no one could help him at this point. him and michael were about to shoot the final scene of their music video, and awsten was starting to remember why impulsiveness is a flaw of his. because why, why, did he have to give the suggestion of ending the video with a kiss.
he was just answering a question really. “what can we do that everyone’s gonna love?” said michael over the phone. “kiss,” awsten said before thinking. he wasn’t wrong! even michael realized that clearly, but regret clawed at him anyways. a lighthearted impulsive request half based in truly thinking it would be good for the video and half based in finding the man over the phone ridiculously attractive. he wasn’t expecting michael to actually agree. he initially felt a little giddy when he agreed, now he just feels dread.
now, he gets to kiss michael clifford, boy band heart throb extraordinaire, but it’s in front of a couple dozen people and after he’ll have to awkwardly laugh and pretend he won’t lie awake thinking about it. great.
he makes some jokes with sara while they’re in their places to try to ease some of his own tension, but soon enough the director tells them they’re about to start with the scene. “are we kissing this take or no?” awsten asks both the director and michael.
“yeah!” michael says in a way professional enough to lightly grate on awsten emotions.
and so the countdown begins, with the director telling them to keep leaning forward. at least its not hard to longingly gaze at michaels lips but part of awsten feels nauseous as their lips get closer and closer together.
“and kiss!” their lips meet for what can’t be more than two seconds but god, does it feel like a jolt to his system.
he can’t quite open his eyes for a moment after they separate, and when they do he immediately looks over to sara to compliment her acting because he doesn’t have it in him to look michael in the eyes at the moment.
“do you wanna see it?” the director asks them, and awsten’s true answer is absolutely not. he doesn’t want to see real yearning on his own face and the kiss stuck in time. but instead he says
“sure! i’ve never seen me kiss a boy”
and he does see it, and it does make him feel something he can’t quite describe. maybe quickens his heartbeat, but no one can prove that. ‘i am so so normal about this!! god i’ve been doing stage gay via twitter since birth why is this such a big deal, am i really all talk?’
of course he’s not, he’s awsten knight and he can be so normal and professional while doing this. he is even so talented at acting normal that they do another take or two and awsten doesn’t flee the room. ignore the fact he vaguely tried to convince the director that the first take was great enough to not do more.
“that’s a wrap!”
awsten is so normal so he hugs michael and they talk about how great this video is gonna turn out. they help around with cleaning set because they are kind boys, after all. before either of them leave, michael gives him another hug.
“see you on saturday for promo, right?” michael says with a soft smile.
“of course, need to give the people on twitter some more material to work with, don’t we?”
michael lightly laughs and looks down “i think we gave them plenty today”
and if awsten feels his ears heat up that is literally no one’s business and god damn he wishes his hair was long enough to cover them. “i like to be generous”
“sure ya do” michael says and finally looks up again.
the eye contact is somewhat breathtaking in the most embarrassing way. he can’t help the small smirk forming on his face despite the light haze of awkwardness. “well… see you then.” awsten says as confident as he can muster and pats michael on the arm before walking away.
parx already made an agreement to go to awstens house after shooting for ease and entertainment, so he heads towards the boys that are waiting near the door. maybe widens his eyes a little to convey horror at his situation.
“ready to go?” otto asks gently.
when they make into the car awsten silently lays his head on the steering wheel.
“…soooo… how fucked are you on a scale from one to ten” geoff asks after taking a moment to take in awstens state
he picks up his head and turns the ignition, “a solid seven”