Archive of Our Own

The school seems empty and closed. It's completely silent. I smell the earthy scent of rain setting on the ground outside. As I breathe in deeper the smell mixes with another smell. It smells..metallic? 

I look on the ground trying to find the source for it, but the moon doesn't shine bright enough to let me figure it out. My fingers search for a light switch but I can't find one. I feel dizzy. The smell gets more and more intense by second.

I know what it is, it's the scent of blood. Still searching for light, I hear a familiar voice calling out for me. The voice is sweet and soft, reminiscent of fresh baked goods. Warm and sugary.

"Sayori!", I call out for her. "Where are you?"

The voice gets quieter, but I can hear it comes from somewhere up. The stairs must be near me. Luckily I still remember how the school is build, even without much light. 

As soon as I find the stairs, I quickly run up, but I fall just as quickly. I hit my face hard and feel warm blood gushing out my mouth. Hell, it hurts. My face starts getting hot and my heart won't stop pounding. 

Sayori's voice continues talking, but I don't hear her what she's saying. I spit out the blood that has collected in my mouth and try to stand up. I feel weird, but i'm able to continue walking. 

I finally hear what she is saying. "Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head.", she continues saying the same sentence over and over. 

"Sayori, what's wrong?", I ask. "Be careful, she might lose her head.", another voice answers my question. What does she mean by that? 

Before I can say another word I hear a loud crack as something hit the ground, then another noise, a dull thud. Sayori stopped talking. The smell of blood becomes overwhelmingly strong. 

Tears fill my eyes and I try not to puke. I want to say something, but I am not able to. I fall to my knees unable to stand up. I try to crawl closer to Sayori. As I crawl further I feel warm liquid covering the palm of my hands. 

The ground seems to slip away from existence and I fall. I want to scream but I can't. I am terrified. Soon I will hit the ground. I don't want to...

I open my eyes. My body is covered in cold sweat. Warm tears fall down my face. It's just a dream. You're fine, it's just a dream. My pounding heart gets a little quieter, but the bad feeling in my stomach doesn't seem to fade at all. 

I should try to sleep again. Tommorow is the festival. I will wake up Sayori in the morning, as a boyfriend should do. Buy her sweets. Win her a plushie. It will be a blast. Calm down Mc, everything will be alright.

It's already pretty late, Sayori's probably already sleeping, but it won't hurt sending a message. Would it?

I quickly write Sayori a message, I think about how I should word it. I don't want to worry her with the dream I had. I just feel like I don't know how to do anything at the moment to be honest. 

Even though i have known Sayori for ages, I now am not sure how to behave. I wish she told me earlier, how much she is struggling. 

I ahem, I feel really weird being affectionate if I'm being honest. I'm not used to showing my feelings, you know.

But I wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and can't wait to spend time at the festival. So see you tommorow I guess. Love you.

I stare at the two messages I wrote. Not too bad, I think. But the messages don't get delivered, which is weird. Sayori never shuts down her phone, since she listens to audiobooks when sleeping. 

She told me how much she misses her parents sometimes and how she loved doozing off to the made up stories her mom would tell her. While the audiobooks aren't exactly the same, they apparently are still way better than sleeping to silence. 

So it feels off for Sayori to just sleep without them, especially after what happend yesterday. I am trying to understand her, even though it's difficult and I just wonder if telling her that I love her, was the right choice to make.  

I hear and smell heavy rain falling down from the clouds above. I still feel really bad. What if I just stressed her out more with that sentence? Hell, what if I made everything worse? What if... 

I walk down the stairs and slip into my shoes, no time for a jacket, it's right next doors either ways. Normally I wouldn't be so careless, but all that is one my mind now, is that I have to check on Sayori. 

I walk out of my house quickly, running to Sayori. I knock on the door, no answer, without much hesitation I open the door and let myself in. I quickly run up the stairs and without much thought I open the door.

Not really processing what I'm seeing I just yell Sayori's name. I hear a high scream from her, before she stumbles off the chair, hitting the ground. She looks at me, with a shocked and confused expression.

I look at the rope in front of me, which is hanging from the ceiling, and the wooden chair, laying underneath it. I feel sick.

I look back to Sayori and see her hiding her face in her knees. I carefully walk towards her and sit next to her. I don't really know what to say.

"I just...i", Sayori mumbles. She continues trying to talk, but all the words blend into eachother in a way I can't understand, no matter how much I try.

I feel the tears forming in my eyes, and as I sense Sayori lifting up her head, I pull her into a hug. I can't risk her feeling guilty about me crying, so I try to hide it this way. 

Sayori hides her face in my shoulder, her arms barely holding me, where she normally would hug so tightly. Her cries silent, different from the ones I'm used to, which would be heard so clearly. 

I feel warm tears flowing down my already wet shirt. Which only makes me hold Sayori even closer to me. I swallow, if I had waited till morning Sayori would be.. 

I told her everything will be fine, so why would she still do this? Why? I feel more tears falling down my face and my throat getting sore. 

"Sayori, I'm here, I'm not leaving.", I softly say and pat her on the back of her head. I lost track of time. The whole situation feels unreal. 

I feel her arms completely letting go and I panic for a second. I carefully pull her away from me to be able to see if she's alright. She's breathing normally, her heart beats a little slower and it seems like she has fallen asleep.

I slowly push her hair back to get a closer look at her face. She looks so tired, with red swollen eyelids and a runny nose. I tenderly clean the rest of her tears and snot of her face with my sleeve and then take of my sweater.

Luckily I have a shirt underneath, wouldn't want to make Sayori uncomfortable. I gently lift her up, put her into bed and cover her with a blanket. 

I look at the chair and the rope which has been tied to the ceiling with a hook. I won't be able to remove the hook without waking Sayori up, so I take down the rope, while standing on the chair. Then I quickly put the chair in another room, while having the rope in the other hand. 

I decide to untie the knot first and then to throw the whole rope out the window. I can't bare, the possibility of Sayori seeing that, when she wakes up, and it honestly makes me sick seeing it too. 

I walk back into her room and see her deep asleep. I hope more than anything, that she's atleast having a peaceful and sweet dream now. 

Careful, to not wake her up, I lie down next to her. The bed isn't that big, so I lay in it pretty uncomfortable to make sure I don't touch her and wake her up. I don't want to leave her, not like this. So my comfort is really the last of my worries.

I wish i could take her into my arms right now, but it doesn't feel right when she's already asleep like that. I wonder how much pain she must have been hiding, to come to an conclusion like this. 

She's always so cheerful and bubbly, that it made me completely forget that she could have problems too. I always felt like she was way better than me at making friends, everyone always seemed to love her. 

I never would have thought that she thinks of herself as a burden, when she made my life so much better. I never gave her enough credit for it. I... I really didn't. 

I look next to me and see her sleeping peacefully, her chest moving up and down, signaling her breathing in and out deeply. My mind becomes a bit more peaceful. Good Night, Sayori. See you tommorow.