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How strange, to see Hat guy’s markings glow with such a hue.
He’d noticed them before, whenever Hat guy used his powers. These same patterns would light up brightly if danger was near, or softly if the moment was quiet. Sometimes, he would let his wind course through his body, for what reason, Durin did not know. Some other times, he knew to be on the lookout for the subtle glow—specifically as they flew together—otherwise, he might risk getting thrown off-balance by a teasing current.
He’d come to a conclusion awhile ago and had never revisited his reasoning. Those marks were collaterals from using raw elemental power.
How bizarre it was, to witness it now in such lifeless circumstances. Dull lights and dull eyes, which stared off into space—unseeing and unmoving—before shutting completely.
Hat guy being a puppet, made from an Irminsul’s branch, was a reality that anchored itself in Durin’s mind now more than ever before. The way his body moved to retrieve what was basically his organs, was so far from human. To see him standing, opening up his entrails’ cavity while the lady Harbinger took his core out, then to see him floating with no use of anemo, eerily falling into a meditative state, it made Durin’s throat close in.
He’d sworn to protect his resting body but, why had he agreed to see the process of… essentially putting him to sleep ? The very process that forced Durin to acknowledge a world where Hat guy’s fate might come to an end, a world where he’d — maybe — never ‘power’ back on again, or a world where he'd remember nothing of the world Durin lived in, all because his memories would be wiped off clean and forgotten. The memories they’d made together…
That's not something he wanted to write up in his story. That was a bad ending. Why should his first adventure end with the death of his best friend ? He didn't want to read such a tale.
He wanted to be brave, he truly wanted to. He wanted to understand the necessity of the operation and understand that Hat guy was willing — that he’d lived in the real world far longer than Durin and saw so many more things than him, so many more people, that his story was so much more different than Durin’s — but it didn't make the situation any easier to swallow. He understood, but not quite.
Had Durin not also put himself on the line when they faced Rerir ? This made him wonder if that's how Hat guy felt whenever Durin jumped head first into danger. But he hadn't done it to seek revenge. He’d done it to protect his friends and because his powers could be used to help them. Durin knew that if he did the things he did, he wouldn't find himself in this exact position, hoping that someone dear to him would make it out unscathed.
So he couldn’t understand how Hat guy had made peace with the idea of things coming to an end—so easily he wanted to say, but it hadn't been easy. He could understand, but couldn't. Or he didn't know if he wanted to.
It was not easy. Nothing was with Hat guy.
But Durin had promised. He would be brave, and he understood the necessity, so he stopped pacing around and he plopped himself down on the floor right in front of Hat guy because if he could do something to ensure his best friend’s safety in the very least, he would. After all, he liked to think that Hat guy would also prefer the happy ending, with how much he disliked that Dottore guy.
However, an embarrassing detail came to his attention as he sat down, in the form of his tail swooshing and thumping against the carpet to punctuate his thoughts.
“Someone’s agitated,” came a voice from behind him.
It didn't scare him, he might've flinched but it was out of surprise. Though he chuckled awkwardly at his approaching brother. “Heh... A little.”
Even if he was met with a kind smile, Durin’s eyes still shifted around, first landing on Hat guy’s body before lowering to the ground, his fingers unconsciously fidgeting with his sleeves. “Everyone is out there fighting— and I hope they’re alright, that much’s evident but, I can’t help feeling a bit… restless. Like we're not helping at all.” He sighed; he felt like a ball of emotions. Everyone had something to do and everyone was risking their lives out on the field. They could all die, not just Hat guy. “This is kind of terrifying,” he added, as an afterthought.
Albedo huffed subtly with amusement, but then he spoke with seriousness. “It is. Only in these moments do we realise how fragile life truly is.” As he spoke, he went to pick up Hat guy’s hat from the couch’s headrest, and Durin followed the action with his gaze. When he returned to Durin’s side and offered it to him, he eyed it curiously.
“Hat guy will surely give us a piece of his mind if he ever finds his hat discarded to the side,” he said, waiting for Durin to let his sleeves go and take the headgear. He did, bemused, but he did, and Albedo ruffled his hair for it.
The hat's weight and familiarity brought Durin some, small, amount of comfort. He ran his fingers on its round and smooth edge before trying to fit it on top of his horns. To no one’s surprise, it didn't fit him anymore. “Am I supposed to be some kind of…guardian of his hat now ?”
Albedo chuckled, sitting down next to him, “a very crucial role, don’t you think ?”
It made Durin smile and reminisce. And as Durin reminisced, a comfortable silence fell over them. Although he soon broke it with another sigh.
Wearing Hat guy’s hat reminded him of a time when he’d been small enough to fit under it and on top of Hat guy’s head. Or how he still had a pass for clumsily knocking into it. Nowadays, he'd just get his forehead flicked.
And now he could only keep it in his lap. He hoped everything would turn out fine.
“Miss Sandrone’s plan is very well crafted, we all have a role to play,” Albedo broke the silence as well, “Hat guy, the Traveler and myself trust her, not to mention the others. Even if we do consider potential hiccups, we should be able to fall back on our feet.”
Durin sighed again, placing the hat vertically and leaning his chin on it. It felt like hugging a giant pillow, only that it wasn't soft nor stable and he should be really careful if he didn't want to get scolded once Hat guy woke up. “I know that. I trust you all to have made the right decision, it's just that I’m thinking of possibilities and there are some I don’t particularly like.”
He felt so juvenile when he couldn’t hold the pout out of his voice, especially compared to Albedo, who seemed so calm about all of it.
His brother hummed, “there is nothing wrong about preparing oneself for such scenarios. All that matters is that you don't end up confusing fear and prophecy when action is required.”
His eyes widened a bit at the words, they were true. He’d thought the other might tell him it was no use worrying about something that hadn't happened yet. Or maybe try to reassure him. For a moment, he wondered if Albedo too, had his own qualms about this plan.
Durin lifted his chin from the edge of the hat to look at him, considering his next words. However. His first mistake was wanting to lean his cheek back on a smooth surface, while his hands were holding said surface by its bottom half. He miscalculated the trajectory, the hat slipped outwards and the sensation of falling instinctively made him contract all of his muscles. Including his fingers. So while he maintained himself upright, the hat came right back to bonk his nose with force.
He winced and laid it flat in his lap. He swore to Hat guy to not toy with it anymore.
This time, Albedo's amused huff was not subtle. “Seems like Hat guy also had something to say. It would be ‘stop overthinking’, if I had to guess.”
Durin covered his face with his palms and groaned. His next words came out muffled too, “don't tell him it happened.”
The lack of immediate promise forced him out of hiding, pleading eyes meeting Albedo’s mischievous ones but he didn't quite have the time to feel mortified. His kind brother had softened his features, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “Did something happen ?”
He breathed easier. The whole interaction coaxed a small smile out of him. “Nothing. Also, I must thank you. For comforting me.”
Albedo nodded, “no need to thank me.”
Their exchange did distract him from the matter at hand, but it did not calm his nerves completely. Once more, his eyes found Hat guy’s body, almost guiltily for not having paid it more attention.
From what he saw, there were no visible changes but, “is his energy still stable ?”
“Worried he somehow sees what’s happening to his hat ?” Albedo teased but got up and checked nonetheless, “yes it is.”
And again, Durin sighed. He thought of laying down but then he wouldn’t be able to see if anything changed. The footsteps interrupted his pondering. Albedo hadn’t sat back down.
“Albedo ?” He glanced back, hands resting on the hat.
The other stopped, seemingly heading back to the study, “yes ?”
He’d expected him to stay longer, but it was true that keeping an eye on the dodocommunicator was also necessary. For some reason, it urged one last question out of him.
“You’ve lived a long life too, right ?” He couldn’t quite hold his brother's gaze when he asked, Durin knew it was silly. “Uh, if you were in Hat guy’s shoes… you would have done the same, right ? It’s just a matter of doing things for ‘the greater good’... isn’t it ?”
As much as his eyes begged to stay on the small threads coming out of the carpet, he still looked back up at Albedo. His brother had a tendency to soften truths, he'd learned, but now was not a moment where he wanted comfort. There was something he couldn’t understand about Hat guy and he needed a truthful external point of view. So he paid more attention to his body language.
Albedo stilled to think, and righted his posture before his eyes found Durin’s, head tilting a bit to the side. “Are you asking me if his will to lend his core is either sacrificial or situational ?”
Durin nodded timidly. He’d been caught. Too many thoughts were to blame. Somehow, this idea had formed somewhere in his mind.
“I can’t speak for him, Durin,” his tone was serious again, the kind of tone he used when he wanted to get a message across. “I believe we know too little of his motives. The situation would be much more dire without his help, and he seems to hold a grudge against the Doctor, that’s all we know. His views on his potential death might be alarming under a certain angle but otherwise, I’d advise against entertaining such a train of thought.”
Durin’s nod seemed to seal the discussion and Albedo resumed his walk.
Other than a few exchanged lines through the dodocommunicator, they knew very little of the outside situation. Albedo surveilled Hat guy’s vitals but nothing was happening, nothing changed, nothing moved. It was a good thing, but having to stay put while things happened around them was such a hard task. Durin didn’t know how Grandmaster Varka had done it. He found himself restless, but all he could do was have faith.
—
~Dodoco Dodoco~
“Dottore has been defeated and Sandrone… has unfortunately fallen in battle. We’ll be on our way, however Pulonia has withstood some forms of damage. Mister Albedo will have to prepare himself. It would be a pity if we suffered another loss–”
“Hey don’t say that.”
Only the first few words had brought any semblance of joy to ease Durin’s apprehension, then the rest of the news crushed his hopes and didn’t fail to raise his blood pressure. He didn’t outright panic, but his mind blanked. He tried his best to say nothing, to think of nothing and to calm his breathing as the others made their way back but it was hard not to think of what might happen if the core had been compromised—if Miss Sandrone…
One loss didn’t write in stone the possibility of another, but it did not rule it out either.
They didn’t know if Hat guy was condemned just yet, they didn’t know for sure if the core was damaged, no one could say Hat guy would never open his eyes again. Durin trusted the others, Hat guy was not dead until Albedo put the core back and nothing happened. Even then, maybe it would just be a matter of days, who knew. His hat was still present, didn't it disappear whenever his energy fluctuated ? It must mean something, because it was still very much tangible and in Durin’s nervous hands.
His best friend, his first friend, the one who’d witnessed all of the steps he took in his journey, will wake up. All this time, he’d been by his side. Durin was not yet ready to walk without him. He dearly needed Hat guy to wake up. He’d never thought of preparing himself to walk without him. He won’t start now.
—
The markings didn’t glow. His marks were not glowing, his eyes were not opening and Hat guy stayed in the same position even though the core was back in. He didn’t know if the others were holding their breath the way he was, but there was a heavy silence that blanketed the whole room.
“Please–”
Then he saw it. He didn't have time to mumble and plead, relief rolled through his body once he saw an electro spark light up the usual turquoise. He exhaled. Hat guy opened his eyes, he wasn’t dead and Durin was about to take a step forward, leaving the hat somewhere behind on the table, but the Traveler stopped him with their hand.
Albedo waited for the fog in Hat guy’s eyes to dissipate, and asked, “do you know where you are ?”
He’d forgotten about this part. He’d forgotten and Hat guy really did look like he was out of it. His usual frown settled back on his face but not quite like usual. He even looked disoriented as he stopped floating, setting one foot down at a time.
Hat guy didn’t answer immediately, but perhaps the scariest thing was the fact he used Albedo’s shoulder to stabilize himself.
Then he groaned. Durin exhaled again when he heard the signature groan, and relief finally crashed onto Durin’s body like waves crashed into stones.
“What happened with Dottore...” Hat guy asked—demanded— as he swept his gaze across the room. His frown deepened as his eyes fell back on Albedo, “and I’ll guess Miss Sandrone didn’t make it ?”
“Of course, that’s the first thing he asks,” Paimon grumbled under her breath, “wait what ?”
“Well I suppose this solves the memory problem,” his brother injected while the Traveler filled Hat guy in, “Dottore has been eliminated and…yes. Sandrone didn’t make it.”
He’d anticipated the first direction of the conversation already, so Durin waited patiently for his turn to speak. With a wagging tail. He'll have to endure the happy puppy comparisons, he needed a visible outlet for his glee.
Hat guy sighed softly, crossing his arms and nodding at the Traveler. Intriguingly, the information didn't seem to shock him, but it wasn't too important. The left and right movement seemed to catch his eye and he finally looked at Durin. Now he could tackle him without it being weird.
“Someone’s happy.” You bet.
“Of course I am !”
This time the Traveler didn’t stop him and he went all in like a bull, frightening Hat guy with his speed. Albedo sidestepped the scene while the impact cut off Hat guy’s attempt at any retort. They were this close to toppling over, they almost did, but Durin used his wings to stabilize them back.
“I’m so happy.” He let some of his weight fall on Hat guy. The other hadn't wrapped his arms around him, but he'd uncrossed them preventively and this was enough of a sign the hug was welcomed. Durin giggled when Hat guy sighed. “I’m delighted.”
“Are we doing a Paimon and Traveler reunion 2.0 or what.”
Despite his words, he still ended up reciprocating the embrace, not fully, he only put his hands on Durin’s sides, and it might’ve looked like he was about to push him away, but he didn’t. Hat guy actually let him be a complete dead weight against him, let him find the comfort he needed. Perhaps, he’d sensed how badly Durin had taken his decision. In any case, he didn't push until Durin was ready to leave.
And, just maybe, he understood better why Paimon had cried earlier. Maybe it hit him too, the way excitement and relief deflated in his chest. He pushed himself away from Hat guy, fingers still holding onto the other —scrunching up his outfit's material— but he looked away. There was a wobble coming from his bottom lip and he was supposed to be happy and unaffected.
The click of the tongue that came from Hat guy actually stressed him a little bit. They were honest with each other, not emotional. As he saw the approaching hand coming closer to his head, he didn't know why he'd expected the flicker to be a head ruffle. Albedo had softened his defenses. In any case, he glared, but not too harshly.
Hat guy ignored it. “Bring your head down.”
The request made him frown, until it made sense and he did as told. The way Hat guy bumped his head against his horns did nothing to help him keep the tears in, and even less when he solemnly declared, “in case you forgot, I promised to stand by your side no matter what happens.” Then he took a step back and raised his eyebrows, smirking at Durin, “and never underestimate my ability to hold a grudge. I could've willed my body to move on anger alone if it came to be.”
The Traveler snorted loudly behind them, but it only took one unimpressed look from Hat guy to get Paimon to drag them out.
“Haha. Well then, if everyone is alright here, we’ll be out ! Ok, bye bye !” Durin only had time to sniffle before they fled out the door.
“Also, on that note,” Albedo intervened, “would you like me to assess your state or should we postpone it for later.”
Both Durin and Hat guy turned their heads in his direction, he’d leaned against the couch’s headrest and had stayed quiet until now.
“I’m fine, all I needed external help for was to put the core back in. I can handle myself." He looked over his shoulder, coincidentally —as Durin followed his gaze— in his hat's direction, on the table. "Speaking of external help,” he pointedly glanced at Durin, “Did my hat miraculously gain sentience and moved spots ?”
His tail righted as if to indicate he was the primary suspect, which he was, that's why he felt caught on the spot. Not to say, but Albedo's amusement announced little cooperation.
"Hm ? Perhaps your anger, as you said, willed your hat to move first. I almost thought it would fly out the window and fight the Doctor by itself at some point."