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CHAPTER 1
It all started when ESOUL found a diamond udjhdjsdhdshsd yellowfin tuna. And then. Um. Dragonboy. Ok so he was taking it back to his elevator when he dropped it to zray gun it ACTUALLY dragonboy was the chef so he had to gun it. And then disaster struck. Suddenly. Out of nowhere. Completely blindsightingly a PIT MAW appears beneath the great blue reliable fish. eboy could only watch in Horror as the worm DEVOURED the only thing saving their run (except for the 4 imported caviar that they got).
“its all my fault……” says the blue-orbed human.
“and its NOT mine” says dragonboy.
Insert prenaut joke. But esoul didn’t laugh. Something inside him shattered that day. He knew morty would be disappointed. ROCK would be disappointed. He had to prove he wasn’t a failure that loses to pit maws.
With only 20 seconds left, yang cheng takes a courageous step outside the elevator…and another…and another…and another…
“HEY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING~!!” although dragonboy’s voice was louder than the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa, it was merely a faint whisper to esoul, who was already in the room upstairs.
Back in the elevator, dragonboy was pacing. He wondered how it would feel to lose esoul to the depths of these sewers FOREVER and decided it was too painful to bear. With no hourglasses left, he could only wait because dragonboy is a coward. And he values his life over esoul but that’s okay. Me too dragonboy. Good idea R. Then he hears the sound of faint footsteps growing louder (than the 1883 eruption of Krakatoa). ITS YANG CHENG!! AND HES CARRYING **ROTTEN FAMILY SIZED CEREAL**. Upon seeing this marvelous sight dragonboy immediately BURST INTO TEARS.
“thank you yang cheng 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 you saved our run. Who needs a diamond yellowfin tuna 3.0x size when we have your cereal!”
Yang cheng, who had always believed himself to be the boyfailure of the two, was flabbergasted at his response. He too almost started bawling as the elevator descended deeper. Suddenly. The mohawked zawg’s tone turns serious, “NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!! You had me so worried!!”
Esoul, who was starting to feel a little cocky himself, replied, “why? 🤨did you miss me 😋🙂↕️”
And dragonboy has so much self love that he REFUSES to admit it. In fact, he takes out the trash and esoul has so little self love he thinks he IS the trash! In a way……asking yang cheng out would really just be him fulfilling his duties as a HERO 🦅.
They entered the elevator as mere coworkers and left as yaoeeb(oy)uddies.
CHAPTER 2
Dragonballz was swinging his legs while he was sitting down on the way-too-tall xfc bar stools. Usually when he was nervous he would simply kick puppies but he had to make a good impression for yang cheng.
“yang cehng! Are you enjoying your Original Crispy BBQ Bacon Stacker® Burger Box (available in Australia)?”
He sure was but he had to pretend to be a little bit nonchalant. So he said, “I LOVE THIS ORIGINAL CRISPY BBQ BACON STACKER BURGER BOX AVAILABLE IN AUSTRALIA SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR TAKING ME HERE!”
It was only xfc and in his heart, dragonboy was worried he should’ve taken yang cheng somewhere ->NICE<-r, like to the frozen lake he frequents with rock. They could’ve probably brought a grater and made fresh bingsu out of all organic ingredients. Oh well. Maybe next time.
“whats your favourite colour yang cheng?”
“of course its blue”
“why blue”
“you axolotl questions”
“they (wikihow and betterhelp) say your favourite colour often reflects your personality, emotional state and subconscious needs.”
“blue symbolises reliability and security. the crippling guilt of murdering my childhood idol is constantly eating me alive and blue reminds me of him.”
“I know what you mean. My favourite colour is yellow because it reminds me of smile and it helps me cope with the fact that I slimed him and his daughter out.”
Turns out original experiences do not exist in this universe.
“I hate rock” says dragonboy randomly.
“WHAT.” Esoul, who had never considered feeling anything except fear and admiration towards rock was very stunned by this scorching take.
“he wont let me play sexyback by justin timberlake nor any lucky cyan songs at the gala.”
Yang cheng pondered this for 23391ac before agreeing that maybe rock is truly evil and deserves destruction.
“I have an idea. Lets put the kibosh on rock!” dragonboy said, munching on his Zinger Stacker® Burger (idk its availability in Australia).
And so their first date had spiralled into a great assassination-plotting session. And for a puppy-kicker like dragonboy and a childhood-idol-butcherer-9000 like esoul, it couldn’tve been any better.