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Miami wasn’t typically on the average person’s list of cities that could really use the proximity of a few superheroes to it’s advantage. However, in addition to local crime, the Summer months brought loads of college kids on break, easy marks for criminal activity. Dolph Ziggler didn’t consider his it his job to save the odd drunk student from having his wallet snatched, that was on them, and he had better things to do. He was not a hero, and he did not get involved in other people's’ business. Attacking little old ladies though, now that was low. And also something he thought only happened in tv shows and comic books.
“Just hand me the bag, this doesn’t have to escalate” He was fucking tired and had not been in the mood to chase this punk kid until he ran straight into a dead-end alley. The kid reached into his baggy hoodie. Well that was never good.
Dolph snapped his fingers. “Hey asshole! If you bring anything that’s sharp, pointy, or goes bang into this, I’m going to kick your ass.”
Out of the jacket pocket came a shiny, black pistol. Idiot. Quickly reaching towards the pavement, he felt his arm begin to tingle. Fingertips turned to asphalt, the dark substance advanced quickly to his shoulder and transformed his skin into an impenetrable layer.
The kid’s eyes went wide; he raised the gun and emptied the clip into Dolph’s chest. Bullets bounced off his impervious skin and clinked as they hit the ground. Dolph ran forward swinging, and felt a satisfying crack as fist met jawbone, making the thief drop like a stone.
Taking a deep breath, Dolph felt the warmth of his normal skin return. He pulled a burner phone out of his pocket, dialed 911, and threw it onto the unconscious boy’s form before grabbing the leather bag that had fallen in the scuffle.
“Here you go ma’am.” The grey-haired little old lady took the purse from Dolph, thanking him profusely the entire time.
“What a helpful young man you are! I’m afraid I haven’t gotten your name?..”
Dolph grimaced. “I’m Ziggl...Zag. Zig-Zag.” Oh my god.
The woman arched an eyebrow and thankfully said nothing. Dolph just wanted to be anywhere else.
Fifteen minutes later, she had told him about her three cats, the sales at Sears, and complained about how her son never called. “Madge” couldn’t believe how violent the city had gotten in the past few years and would he mind walking her home, it was only a couple of blocks.
Eventually, Dolph had dropped his companion off and picked up a hefty bag of snicker doodles after promising to check up on her in a few hours. But Dolph Ziggler was not a hero. And he did not get involved in other people's business.
Sometime during the next week, Dolph was jogging past a newspaper stand on South Beach when he literally had to backpedal several paces to make sure that he did, in fact, see what he thought he had. Several papers were lined up next to each other on the rack, but only one caught his eye. The Miami Post was a mid-level tabloid that provided a solid amount of investigative journalism on a good day. However, glaring up at him in mockingly large, boldfaced print was the headline “Good Samaritan ‘Zig-Zag' Foils Robbery Attempt.”
Grabbing the newspaper, Dolph scanned the rest of the article hastily, pulse thudding.
“Hey! You going to buy that?” A bored looking teenager asked irritably, leafing through a magazine.
After tossing a few bills at the kid, Dolph grabbed the paper, removed his earbuds, and sat down on a bench, continuing to read.
Good Samaritan ‘Zig-Zag’ Foils Robbery Attempt
By Byron Saxton, Staff Writer
MIAMI- Miami isn’t the safest city in the world, but robberies in broad daylight are rare.
Madge Stevenson (72) believed that her weekly walk to the supermarket would occur without incident like usual.
“Suddenly I felt a tug from behind me. I was pushed to the ground, and before I knew what was happening, some hooligan had run off with my purse.” says Stevenson. “I was out of it for a few minutes. Honestly, I didn’t expect to get anything back.”
That’s why, less than half an hour later, Stevenson was so surprised when a thirty-something year old man approached her and returned the bag, with credit cards and cash intact. “I couldn’t believe it.” Stevenson exclaimed. “He was definitely my hero.” When pressed for more details about her “hero” Stevenson laughed. “He had longish blond hair that was tied back and baby blue eyes. Cute as a button. Called himself Zig-Zag which I thought was a little ridiculous, but to each his own.”
Is this simply an altruistic individual doing his good deed for the month? Or is he one of the number of individuals with certain capabilities that have been cropping up with increasing frequency? In any case, perhaps the citizens of Miami will sleep a little easier tonight knowing that at least one individual has their back.
Well shit. Dolph leaned back against the bench, and rubbed his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on. He couldn’t deny that a tiny bit of him liked the attention, liked the idea of… making a difference? No, no, no, no. Dolph Ziggler had done some things he wasn’t proud of, and now he minded his own business. It was better for everyone that way. Still… shaking his head, Dolph stuffed his earbuds back in and jacked the volume on his IPod to a dull roar.
Beginning the several-mile long jog home, he tossed the newspaper in the closest trash bin he could find. He may or may not have ended up buying another copy.