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(the past)
“Sephiroth? It's Cloud, I brought you some dinner.”
“Thank you. You can leave it at the door, I'll retrieve it later.”
“Can I come in? Just for a bit? I won't stay long, it's just that no one's seen you all day and I want to make sure you're okay.”
“...give me a moment.”
He did appreciate the concern, but he wasn't sure seeing him would help relieve it considering how awful he felt. It wasn't the first time an experiment had laid him out. They rarely explained to him what exactly they were doing and what side effects he could expect. He would only be told the next time he was expected in, so they could check on the results. This one seemed worse than most. He'd been having really bad stomach cramps since he left the lab – sharp, stabbing pains which had kept him awake throughout the night.
They'd mostly eased now, leaving him with a nagging ache that had yet to subside. He levered himself up from the bed to open the door for Cloud. He promptly deposited the tray on his table before turning to inspect him. Eyeing the arm still curled around his stomach, he declared he'd be back shortly with a hot water bottle and left the room.
(the in between)
“Tell me something I don't know.”
It was a game of sorts they'd started back when they were still at Shinra. It was a conversational gambit, a way to help Sephiroth learn to be comfortable in sharing more about himself. It was only ever done in the dark, because it was easier when it felt like no one was watching. Often done when they were cuddled up in bed, but on rare occasions, if they were out on a mission together, somewhere isolated where they could see the stars. Much of Sephiroth's childhood was...well, not much of a childhood at all, but it wasn't always deep dark secrets. This time though, he doubted it would be anything lighthearted.
They were curled up together underneath the blankets, face to face to allow for Sephiroth's favourite position. He liked to put his ear against Cloud's chest so he could listen to his heartbeat. They probably wouldn't be able to do this much longer though, once his belly grew bigger. He ran his hands down Sephiroth's back, hoping it brought him some comfort.
“I'm so tired. I don't know if I want to do this.”
He'd said it barely above a whisper, but not softly enough for enhanced hearing to pick up without difficulty. An uneasy silence, as if waiting for Cloud's condemnation or judgment. Neither of which he was going to give.
“I know, baby. I've been here and I've seen how hard it is for you. If you ever decide you don't want this, I'm not going to be angry with you or upset about it, alright? I promise. It should always have been your decision, and it wasn't fair they took the choice away from you.”
Yes, Sephiroth had been the one to suggest they leave Shinra in fear of what they would do to the baby if he'd stayed. Given his own conception, it wasn't an unreasonable assumption – the Science department was clearly less than ethical. Even if he'd induced abortion somehow, it wouldn't have made any difference if he hadn't left either. Because what was there to stop them from simply impregnating him again? Despite how it had come about, he'd claimed the baby was innocent and deserved a chance at life. Cloud didn't disagree on principle. But logical as those reasons were, he thought Sephiroth had missed a crucial point. Namely, that his own wellbeing hadn't been considered as part of the whole equation.
Leaving asides the fact that being a father was probably nothing he'd ever thought about, it seemed like because his body had never been meant to bear a child, it was rejecting it as hard as it could. The morning sickness which lasted from day to night, the persistent low blood sugar from his inability to keep anything down which left him pale and shaky most of the time. The physical symptoms aside - his apathy and listlessness, the aversion to touching his growing belly...neither of those boded well with regards to his mental state.
(the present)
Heavily pregnant as he was, Sephiroth rarely stepped out of his tent alone anymore. The pregnancy had made him oddly clumsy. He was constantly dropping or bumping into things and tripping on his own feet. Walking unaccompanied on ground that was slick with snow would just be asking for trouble. But considering the pregnancy also made Sephiroth run warmer than normal, he would probably have been miserable in summer.
They didn't spend all their nights together, since he got overheated easily when they shared a bed. Cloud had woken up shivering a few times because Sephiroth had thrown the covers to the ground in his sleep. Alternatively, he would wake up sweating and suffocating under the entire pile of blankets Sephiroth had pushed aside during the night. He'd check in on Sephiroth every morning, though.
“Sephiroth? Can I come in?”
No response. That was odd. No matter what time he went, it felt like Sephiroth would already be up. Military habits likely played a part, but in recent months, the baby was probably the main cause. They were very lively, which Cloud supposed was a reassuring indication that they were healthy and growing well. But he'd caught Sephiroth flinching more than once after a particularly hard kick, having that happen early in the morning would likely be enough to jolt him awake.
He usually wouldn't enter without an invitation. But given the circumstances, he'd rather intrude first and apologize later. Pushing open the tent flap, he found Sephiroth curled up in the corner on the floor. Listening to his instincts, Cloud pushed down the urge to rush to him and approached cautiously.
“Sephiroth? It's Cloud. I'm sorry for coming in without permission.”
He was panting heavily, but otherwise unresponsive. Cloud took another step closer, and finally got a reaction – bared teeth, like a wild animal. His eyes were empty of recognition, only containing blind panic. Lucky that Cloud had left his sword outside, he didn't think Sephiroth would have reacted well to that.
“It's safe here, I promise I won't hurt you.”
He extended his palms out in front of him, demonstrating they were empty. He stretched one out a bit further, waiting for Sephiroth to reach out. His patience paid off, and once their hands were clasped together, it seemed the contact brought some clarity back to him.
“...Cloud?”
He internally winced at the hoarseness of Sephiroth's voice and noted to get him some water as soon as possible, but it was good that he was verbal again.
“Come on, let's get you back on the bed first.”
He got Sephiroth to his feet with some effort, and was thankful for his steady hold when he abruptly doubled over with a groan.
“It's okay, I have you. Here, it's just a few more steps...”
He half carried, half dragged him over. Sephiroth was stumbling more than walking, leaning most of his weight on Cloud. Judging from his clear distress and how he'd been due any day now, the conclusion was pretty obvious. There was a puddle on the floor that Cloud was willing to bet had been his water breaking. Even so, he gently put his palm over where Sephiroth's was clenched at his belly, and pressed down lightly. It was rock hard with tension, confirming his assumption. His eyes were glazed over again, he didn't seem like he was really...present. The pain had probably triggered some kind of traumatic flashback.
“Here, I'm going to put your hand on my chest so you can feel the movements. Breathe with me. In, and hold...and out.”
He repeated it a few more times until Sephiroth finally started to follow along. He brushed sweat soaked strands off his forehead and slid behind him, hoping the contact would help.
“I know it hurts, baby, but I need you to stay with me, alright? I'm going to call Aerith now, once she's here, then you can start pushing.”
There was little he could do except offer whatever comfort he could. Most painkillers didn't work on him because of how fast his body processed them. Anything that would, they'd probably be harmful to the baby. Sephiroth was slumped weakly against him, unmoving except for the rhythm of his breaths. With how exhausted he seemed, Cloud hoped it would be a quick labour – it didn't look like he would have the energy for it otherwise. Given how much pain he was in, it did seem like things were already pretty far along.
(the future)
Cloud watched from a distance as Sephiroth held his daughter in his arms, humming a lullaby Aerith had taught him. It was an idyllic scene, but despite appearances, it wasn't all smooth going even now. There were still moments when he refused to touch her, commenting bitterly that bloodstained hands like his would only taint someone as innocent as she was. Or when her crying grated on his nerves enough that he had to step back.
But he'd come a long way from what things had been like during his pregnancy. After their brief discussion on abortion, he'd had a miscarriage scare. When it happened, Sephiroth had suffered through the cramps alone in silence. They'd only found out later on, Aerith having to hurriedly check on the baby's wellbeing after they noticed the bloodstained sheets. Instead of keeping up appearances and insisting everything was fine when it wasn't, being able to admit when you needed help was a strength of its own. It would be better to appreciate little moments like this and not spend time dwelling on the negatives.