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Peaceful slumber never came easily to Citlali. Certainly not without an over indulgence in one of her many vices. This was very much a rare occasion, albeit only one that was gifted to her because exhaustion had finally caught up with her. Maybe she’d just been working too hard, maybe it was just too many late nights in a row overwhelming her body; whatever the case, she’d barely begun reading on this particular night before slipping into slumber. So, of course, the world saw fit to send an annoyance that actually managed to wake her for once. That was the trouble with falling asleep without the aid of alcohol- it was far too easy to wake her.
“Ugghhh…” Citlali groaned, a dim blanket of light falling on her closed eyes. Already disturbed, she rolled over onto her front, covering her head with a pillow for good measure. And yet, it proved not enough. All of a sudden, Citlali felt a light chill on her exposed arms. Typical… she must’ve forgotten to close her window. Her groans quickly intensified from an expression of minor annoyance to mild aggravation. Great. Well. She was up now. Cocooning herself in her blankets, Citlali lazily rolled off of her bed. As it turned out, she had forgotten to close her window, as well as having forgotten to draw her curtains. “Stupid moon…” Citlali mumbled under her breath. To think, she’d be awoken by something as unobtrusive as the light of the moon…
“Now my room’s all cold too…” the shaman dozily whined, snagging up the book she’d brought to bed with her from off of the floor, and shuffling towards the door. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do, maybe make some tea or something, to warm herself up a little. But as she opened up her bedroom door, the prospect of coming up with any plans vanished on the wind. As their eyes met, Citlali’s book fell to the floor once more, slipping out of her grip.
Sat at the table right by her front door… Citlali stared at the golden haired Traveler; she stared right back at Citlali. As the Traveler stood from her seat, Citlali shuffled only a few steps out of her bedroom. She wanted to say something, anything; all she could get out was “What are you-“ before all the air escaped her lungs. The bed sheets that had been draped over her shoulders pooled around her feet, her entire body awkwardly stiff after the Traveler had embraced her in a hug so tight that Citlali almost seriously wondered if it would cause lasting damage.
And yet, the arms around her neck were so warm, so comforting… the head of short hair so close to her nose smelt so sweet, despite the arduous trials she knew full well it faced on a daily basis… Citlali caught herself before she could daydream any further. Not that her face could possibly become any redder, anyway.
The utter eternity packed within a hug that only lasted a few seconds came to an end as the Traveler stepped away, her arms returning to her side. “Sorry, Citlali, I didn’t even say hello before…” The Traveler stalled continuing on, seemingly waiting for Citlali’s brain to start functioning again before she would continue.
“… Y-yeah, well… Think about that next time then, w-won’t you?! I don’t know who you’re spending time with to think that hugging someone comes before a greeting, and I frankly don’t care to find out!” Citlali bluntly stated, placing her hands on her hips. It all came out so much harsher than she meant it, Citlali couldn’t help it, but clearly the Traveler didn’t take it the wrong way. She was still smiling… But of course she was. The Traveler just… seemed to understand whenever she said something she didn’t really mean.
“My bad. I must’ve just been taken in by Granny Itztli’s radiance,” she joked with a light shrug, that same little playful shrug she always gave whenever she was poking fun. Thankfully it wasn’t paired with that annoyingly smug look she sometimes wore too.
A pout was all that the Traveler earned from her little one liner; it was enough for Citlali. “Tch. Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Folding her arms over her chest, Citlali tilted her head up, glancing off to the side. “Anyway, before you so rudely interrupted me, I was going to ask; what are you doing back here?”
“Am I not welcome?” The Traveler quickly retorted with a slight tilt of her head.
While Citlali had originally planned to tackle that snark head on, when she cast her eyes back towards the Traveler, she caught a glimpse of… something. Some sort of… emotion behind her eyes. And all of a sudden, Citlali felt the need to backtrack. “N-no, wait a minute, that isn’t what I-“
The Traveler softly giggled at her, though that vaguely pained look still lingered in her gaze. “After my time in Nod-Krai, I’ve had a lot on my mind. I wanted to see you. Especially after…” she uncharacteristically trailed off. It was a display of hesitation that Citlali had never seen from the Traveler.
Fuelled by concern, she stumbled towards her, gently placing her hands on the Traveler’s shoulders, bending down ever so slightly so she could see her face clearly. “Traveler? Are you okay? Did… did something happen to you in Nod-Krai!?” Citlali quickly pulled herself back, still gripping the Traveler’s shoulders, she rapidly cast her eyes over every part of her that she could. “You don’t look hurt… Is it something else? Did you lose something? Is it your brother? Or… wait a minute… Paimon isn’t with you… Did something happen to Paimon?!”
“No, no, please, Citlali, it’s nothing like that,” the Traveler insisted, kindly placing her hands on top of Citlali’s… which made her realise that she had been gripping the Traveler’s shoulders perhaps a little too tight, prompting her to let go. Ugh… why were her palms so sweaty too…? “Would you mind if… we went up to your hot air balloon?”
“My balloon? Uh, sure, I guess. I’ll grab a few drinks, and then-“
Citlali’s train of thought was halted as the Traveler gently held one of her hands in theirs. “No need for drinks, Citlali. If you don’t mind. Please.”
“H-how could I possibly say no when you ask me like that?” Citlali replied with a tone of voice she just knew made her sound pathetic. Why did she always sound so whiny…? “Let me put on some shoes, and we can head off.”
The walk over to the hot air balloon had been brisk, yet it had given Citlali the opportunity to take in some things she hadn’t noticed before. The Traveler was wearing different clothes to the last time she’d seen her. Not drastically different, but they were very definitely different. Though it hadn’t escaped her notice that this change of attire showed off a lot of their back… Not that she had been taking glances, of course! Of course… There was something else though. Before they had left, Citlali had noticed the Traveler pick up a small book from the table she’d been sitting at. Unfortunately, the cover was plain, so she couldn’t tell precisely what purpose it served, even after it was placed on the small table within her hot air balloon. Maybe she could be nosey later…
“It’s a one of a kind view up here. You picked a great spot to set this balloon up, Citlali.”
“I’d hope so. I’ve been living here for long enough that it’d just be plain embarrassing if I didn’t know all the best spots,” Citlali huffed, leaning back slightly on the stool she was occupying, her arms folded defensively once more.
To Citlali’s surprise though, the Traveler didn’t respond in her usual jovial manner. In fact, she didn’t respond at all. She just… sadly stared up at the moon. Despite the soft smile tugging at her lips, there was no hiding the melancholy in her expression. “Funny you should say that. Our long lives… that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you mind?”
Quickly, Citlali shook her head. “Of course not, go ahead. Talk all you want. It’s not often you of all people get in a chatty mood. Must be my lucky day.”
The Traveler gave her a half hearted laugh in response to that. A laugh that made Citlali’s heart sink in her chest. “… the last time we were up here together… You told me that you try not to get close to people because of your long life. And I basically just called you stupid for thinking like that. I’m sorry.”
Of all things, an apology for something like that was not what Citlali had been expecting to hear. “Well, not in so many words. Besides… you were right. Just because I’d been hurt before, I decided to never even try with people ever again. Something else to put on my list of miserable failures, might I add.”
“But I didn’t even try to empathise with you,” the Traveler shot back, her serious tone standing in stark contrast to Citlali’s more lighthearted self deprecation. “Someone told me recently… that my own long life makes me fundamentally different to other people. That it makes me… an alien, in their eyes. Someone destined to be ostracised. That’s been your experience with long life, hasn’t it?”
With what Citlali could only imagine was a ridiculously dumb expression on her face, she blinked a couple of times at the Traveler, unable to think of a real response. She hadn’t been awake nearly long enough for a conversation like this. Not to mention she didn’t have a bottle to hide behind for once. “I mean… yeah. Granny Itztli is just as much a defence mechanism that I constructed for myself as it is an identity forced upon me. Other people had decided that I was some thing to be afraid of for so long that I started to believe them. And, of course, that helped give me an excuse to put up my walls and not interact with people.”
Silence settled between the two of them for a few moments before the Traveler continued. “I’ve met others with long lives all over Teyvat. Many of them have suffered because of it too, but they’ve never suffered alone. There has always been someone else to share in that pain with them. Even me. For as long as I could remember before coming here, I’d been with my brother. But you? You never had anyone like that. You had to suffer alone. So… I’m sorry. I should’ve been more understanding of your experience.”
“… w-what even happened in Nod-Krai to bring this on?” Citlali nervously stammered. This whole situation felt so surreal. She was so used to spilling her own guts whenever she spoke to the Traveler, so used to being the one complaining about her own self-inflicted problems that hearing her be vulnerable instead… Being the sympathetic ear was certainly not a role Citlali was used to taking.
“Where to even begin,” the Traveler dryly chuckled. “I’ll share all my stories with you another time. But something did happen that… that made me think about what’s been left unsaid. I don’t know what will happen as I continue my journey, and now, just in case… If there’s anything I want to tell anyone, to say thanks, or apologise, anything- I want to put it out there. One way or another.” The Traveler gave her book a brief sideways glance. So, perhaps it was a diary of some sort, filled with messages to all the people she’d met along the way.
Considering that she was pretty sure that the Traveler was trying to cheer her up, it seemed odd that Citlali felt the urge to comfort her golden haired hero. Tentatively, she placed a hand on her back. “L-look, you know I’m not very good at the whole… being vulnerable thing. I don’t… I don’t really know what to say in situations like these… S-so, uh…” Awkwardly, Citlali leaned in, embracing the Traveler. “Th-th-th-thank you…?”
Just hearing herself, Citlali wanted to cringe right out of her skin and scurry off under a rock. She pulled away from the hug she had initiated almost as quickly as she’d started it. Not that the Traveler seemed to mind, either way. “Don’t thank me yet. I actually have something pretty selfish to ask you next.”
“O-oh, really? You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. Go ahead and ask,” Citlali flippantly replied. Well, she tried to sound flippant. Internally, she felt like she was on the verge of melting into a puddle of goo.
A soft exhale followed as the Traveler sat upright on her stool, curling out of the slight slouch she’d fallen into during her prior monologue. “There was something I started to realise during my journey through Natlan, but it didn’t really hit me until someone outright asked me recently.” The Traveler gave the moon one last look before her gentle eyes locked with Citlali’s, a faint heat instinctively rushing to her cheeks. “My journey isn’t over yet, but once I have my answers, once I’ve finished walking the path my brother once did… I think I’m done with being a ‘Traveler’.” A bright, stupidly sweet smile spread over her moonlight-illuminated face. “I’ve found where I belong. Where I want to stay.”
Citlali could feel her heart starting to beat faster and faster, the thumping gradually growing louder in her bright red ears. She didn’t dare to hope; she couldn’t help herself though. “O-okay… I-I don’t really see what the selfish part of this is, yet. A-and believe you me, I know selfishness when I hear it, ha… ha ha…” Citlali awkwardly rambled.
The Traveler took another quick breath before speaking the words Citlali had longed to hear. “Would you like someone to share an eternity with?”
This was the moment that she would wake up for real, wasn’t it? The moment reality would hit, and she’d wake up after rolling out of bed and smashing her head on the floor. But no matter how long Citlali sat there slack jawed, that sudden awakening never came. “T-Traveler, I-I-“
“Lumine.”
“I-I… Huh?”
“My name. My real name. It’s Lumine.” Citlali wanted to punt herself into the sun for never having asked that before. Worse, for somewhat having assumed that Lumine perhaps didn’t even have a name other than ‘Traveler’. “The only other person who knows that name is my brother. I’ve never even told Paimon my real name before.”
Loudly gulping, Citlali defaulted to her defensive stance, pouting as she folded her arms. “R-really? I bet you say that to all the girls you hold hands with, L-Lumine.” Lumine… what a gorgeous name…
Softly as the moonlights glow, Lumine giggled. “That whole holding hands thing really bothered you, didn’t it? I promise, you’re the first. If you need some more convincing though, umm…” Evidently, the nerves were starting to get to Lumine too, a rosy tint glossing her cheeks at long last. Slowly, she leaned in towards Citlali, their noses mere inches from one another. “May I?”
As much as Citlali would have loved to have given Lumine a confident answer, she felt like a quivering mess, her entire body shuddering in anticipation. Damn that stupid, pretty, handsome… beautiful… brave… endearing… “… you m-may…!”
“If… if it’s okay with you, there’s something else that I’d like to try as well. Just to… hear how it sounds.”
“G-go on, hurry it up…” Citlali mumbled, struggling to keep up all this eye contact without completely breaking down.
Lumine lowered her voice to a whisper, her words a secret to even the wind. They were for Citlali alone. “Citlali… I’m home.”
“… welcome back,” Citlali barely managed to get out, squeezing her eyes shut as she raised her hands back to Lumine’s shoulders, weakly holding onto them as her only support. To match, Lumine’s coarse fingers gingerly cupped her cheeks.
The lips that gently pressed against hers were as perfect as she’d always dreamt that they would be.