Chapter Text
DP, sitting alone in her apartment, she didn't know that someone set up a party before her.
She didn't know no one would go to hers.
DP sat there, staring at the window, watching everyone celebrating without her.
She'd imagine if she was there. Finally wanted, finally needed-
"No, DP," she'd think, "snap out of it. Don't let them use you."
Why would she think that? Because she got used too much. All fake, everything fake.
She'd turn to the pinboard she has, the one with the fake friends, the ones that used her, betrayed her. Then turn back. Back to the only window in her apartment that happens to have a balcony.
She sees the news, from the TV playing in the background, two people, one being EGD, the other probably Ellernate, she didn't bother checking.
She decides to go out onto the balcony, still staring at the celebration, something she had never been included in.
EGD, EGD... She knows that GD loves him, but she doesn't bother checking on him, someone already took care of him. Right? Right..?
She doesn't even know where he lives. Why would she check on him when she doesn't know where he is?
But the concern doesn't go away.
It doesn't leave.
"It's not that big of a deal" DP tries to think,
But that aching in her heart doesn't leave.
But she can't do anything...
Right..?
She'd turn back, her eyes hurting, most likely from unshed tears, the still playing TV meeting her eye, only a stark reminder of another's pain.
It hurt that she couldn't help, while someone actually needs someone most.
DP just stood there, facing the TV, her mind wouldn't shut off, she couldn't even sleep, both from the loudness of the fireworks and her emotions.
A tear trickled down her face before she could stop it, aggressively wiping it away before it hit the floor.
But GD, he's hurt, really hurt. Probably crying, much, much more than her.
She couldn't do anything about it, and she had to accept that; or she could do something about it, but it is hard to do.
Maybe she will finally get accepted, finally be cared for. It is the only way she could fulfill the longing she'd been craving for.
She looks at the door, maybe she could clear her mind with a walk. Heading out the door, the fireworks were quieter, being muffled by the walls that DP felt claustrophobic in, but being the only place she felt safe in.
She stumbled into the elevator, pressing the button before taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves. The elevator was even more claustrophobic than her apartment, at least she had a window there. The wurr of the elevator was the only sound other than her breathing.
She felt like the walls were closing on her. Soon a ding was heard before the doors opened, DP stepping out and back onto the solid ground, walking towards the entrance as every shadow felt like they were judging her. DP straightened her back before exiting, the wind brushing against her skin.
She stood there for a minute before walking again, once again leaving the safety of her apartment. Trying to brush off her thoughts, she walks faster, passing by a café, then a store, another apartment, and an unknown house.
DP stops at that house, thinking about GD once again before shaking her head and walking again. Slower this time. "Deep breaths DP, deep breaths. That must not be GD's house..." DP mutters. She can't stop thinking about him, about the betrayals, about all the times she was hurt, despite her attempts of calming down.
It's weird how people hide their emotions so well, why can't she? Why can't she not cry about things like this? It hurts, she knows that, but she doesn't know how people hold it in in public, how they say "I'm okay" when they are obviously not. How they don't cry immediately when they're betrayed, holding it in for even just a little bit. Maybe she's just emotional, she thinks. Everybody else is not and she is.
She continues walking forward, the night turning into sunrise. People leaving from their celebrations, others staying. DP watched them leave, stopping for a bit. The people seemed satisfied, she was not satisfied at all. She was just walking, walking mindlessly to nowhere.
--That's how it is every year, and you can't change that.--