Chapter Text

Chapter 1: Moving away to Brightonhaven

22nd of January 2026BC, weather? Well i don’t know since I’m in a car heading to Brightonhaven or wherever fuck’s it is. 

Moving away is tough, especially when you're moving alone and your brain dead parents decide it's best to send your kid away while they throw away their marriage. 

I'll never be married as far as anyone is concerned, why would I waste away being with someone I probably once loved but hate for the rest of my life? Well I don't know, since I've never been married; never have been, never will. I’d give anything to have a normal family.

Although, It's gonna get more cold, stupid cold. It's been what? 12 hours have passed since I left Volcadera, still on the road to Brighton; So about 36 more hours to go before we reach there.

The car A/C blasting at full speed does not help at all, so I’m forced to huddle up in a blanket which I brought from home; it’s basically my blanket from my mattress, so it’s a bit wide for the back seats.

I should’ve brought a thicker jacket with me, although I heard Brighton  is a small town so it shouldn't be that bad.

I look out the window and see the endless roads and mountains. It is beautiful to see the Midwest. Where I should've been born, to be honest. 

It sucks being born in the cities, it's like no one cares if you're from the city; they totally disregard you from any alternative community because they think you never did any work at all, uhm Hello? I’ve worked at a gas station since I was 14! 

It sucks. 

I hate it.

I wished I was born somewhere, anywhere else. 

I think I'm gonna go on my phone, this is boring.

 As I pulled out my phone I weighed my decisions if I wanted to listen to music or watch snoottube, before I could make a choice my battery died. Fuck. 

“Language there, son.” A stern voice calls from the front.

Shit he must've over heard.

 He’s always been so sensitive about bad words and inappropriate jokes; he’s somewhat religious? 

I don’t know, I doubt a religious person would divorce his wife and drop off his kid in some remote part across the country

“Right, sorry. Dad.” I said, shruggingly taking in what little comfort from the car seats, pillows and blanket that's covering me has to offer.

Continuing on what I was rambling on about in my mind. 

Nothing really. I just wanted to say that so I could pretend to be busy with myself. 

Jeez I’m talking with myself, I think I might be crazy, or stupid; wherever on the Spectrum, I am.

I could see the sunset over the Colorado mountains, the mountain blocks the sunset so it’s just an orange hue over the sky and clouds, although I could see some sheeps in the distance, a lake next to the road. 

God What have I gotten myself into? 5 States over? My life fucking sucks. Wish I could get a new one.

I covered myself with the blanket as I attempt to sleep. With a tired voice and a crack I sat up a bit and said to my dad.

“Are we stopping at a motel tonight?” 

A moment of silence ensued as I could see my dad contemplate in the front of the car.

“Probably not, we are stopping at a gas station at around 2-3 AM to fill gas, though.” 

He said calmingly.

“Okay, then” 

I responded before taking a nap, taking a nap in the car must be one of the most comfortable yet most uncomfortable experiences, I haven’t felt this type of thing since I was 8.

I remember coming home from an awesome road trip and my dad carrying me to bed when I was pretending to be asleep in the car.

I couldn’t help but feel myself tearing up, the pent up feelings from the divorce is taking a toll on me. 

Was it my fault? 

No no, it couldn’t be; Mom cheated on Dad. 

Asshole…

But why does Dad need to drop me off 5 states across? 

Or could this all be just a facade? To get rid of me? Probably. 

At least I could do whatever I wanted, I never liked my parents always arguing about the most retarded things everyday, living alone is depressing but having them argue all the time makes me wanna kill myself.

About 7 hours later I woke up to a sudden stop of the car, I sat up and noticed we’re at the gas station, the dark surrounding with the lights from cars in the toll, the snootmart in the distance. 

My face contorting at the sight of the bright lights from the gas station light, I grabbed my phone and it’s 2 AM. 

I turned and saw my Dad gone from the driver’s seat, although I noticed the ignition was still on and the keys were still there, I took the keys and went outside.

The car is parked in the small parking lot near the Snootmart and I noticed my Dad drinking what seems to be coffee just outside of the store on a metal chair with several other empty chairs and tables. 

I tidied my jacket a bit and approached him, with a neutral face and my hands in my pants pockets.

“Hey, Dad. How long did you leave me in the car?” 

I said as I invited myself into one of the seats in front of him as he sipped his coffee.

“About like 20 minutes, I’ve just been sitting here watching you from the car.”

He said, sinking into the chair a bit. 

He’s only 42 but he acts like he’s 60, I wouldn’t expect him to have some sort of disease or whatever considering he never told me anything or even showed signs of health struggles.

“Look, kiddo. Why don’t you buy something from inside and get back out here, I wanna talk to you about something.”

 He said as he proceeded to take out 10 bucks from his wallet and put it on the table.

Must be serious then, since his face is a bit saddened, I wonder what it is. 

I’d better just buy a cheap snack so I could just keep the change, probably like gum or water bottle.

I nodded, and stood up; the metal chair making the annoying screech along the concrete ground. 

I walked into the SnootMart and saw no one except for the cashier who’s just playing on his phone while sitting. 

“Welcome to SnootMart, Hope you can find what you need…” 

The cashier said lazily not staring off of his phone while he sits on his chair his posture slumped forward onto the counter as he supported his cheeks with his hand.

What a comfortable posture to be in. 

He seems to be wearing a SnootMart uniform shirt while wearing a baggy sweatpants with chains going down from the waist of his sweatpants, his hair fluffy and his expression unamused staring off onto his phone.

I could be like Bin Laden and this guy wouldn’t even notice.

I stroll through the aisles of the small shop; chips, candy, ready meals, drinks. All of it seems kinda bland although I do like the ready meals in convenience stores but I think it’s too late for that. 

I might as well buy a cheesy goodness goldfish, 2 dollars and 64 cents. Hm. These prices grow every year. 

I grab a bag and head to the cashier; I don’t really need a drink since I already have a big tumbler of water in the car… Which is empty, God damn it.

I go back and grab 4 bottles of water and head to the counter.

“Just these please.” 

I said as I stared at the bulletin board behind him.

Just a bunch of phone numbers, ad posters for food and taxi services. Although one catches my eye.

Huh?

A Parasaur girl playing the guitar while she sings with her band; a human boy in a singlet and jorts playing the drums, and a Stegosaurus boy playing the bass; Hm. a Rickenbacker, nice one but completely unnecessary for what seems to be a Midwest Emo band, with the slight emo themes to the poster and the Modern Baseball sticker on the girl’s guitar.

“Old Tennis” What a peculiar name, reminds me of another band though. I wonder what it is, they all seem pretty young though? 

“10th January 2021BC” Oh, that’s why they all like they’re 11. They’re like 16 now, which is the same age as me. 

Huh. 

Fuck what the hell am I doing with my life. They’re probably out there touring and I’m in this random gas station in the process of being outcasted by my own father.

“HEY! EARTH TO SKINNIE! ARE YOU THERE?” 

I saw as the Raptor cashier snapped me out of my trance. I stood there, my eyes widened a bit, almost waking me up a bit. 

He’s awfully short-tempered despite him looking like he’s in his 20s, his face contorted in anger as he points at me before crossing his arms; his eyes glaring at me with his body too still.

A part of me wants to rip this meteor dodger off his fucking feet but I’d rather not get arrested all the way out here. If I could I’d definitely would.

“R-right sorry, how much?”

I asked a bit nervously, prepared to flinch if he decides to yell at me again like an abused child which I probably am to be honest. 

I don’t really act like this but you can imagine being in a gas station in the middle of nowhere at 2 AM with no one but this cashier who could jump out of this counter and attack me

“9 dollars and 7 cents.” He said with a bit of an attitude while trying to maintain his composure, and started putting my stuff in a plastic bag.

God damn it, only like 93 cents to keep, whatever. It’s not like I don’t have money anyways.

I give him the crumbled up 10 dollars in my pocket and hands it to him, he gives me the change.

I went outside and saw my dad still staring into the distance with his coffee on the table, it seems he’s thinking or contemplating about something; perhaps the divorce? Gosh, I never thought about how this affects him considering he’s the guy that has to deal with this directly.

Still not cool to ditch your son all the way out 5 states over though.

“Hey, Dad. I’m back” 

I sat across from him from the circular table, his face unpredictable, and his posture tense.

“So, what is it that you wanted to talk about?” 

I asked in an attempt to ease the atmosphere between us, it seems it worked a little since he sighed and relaxed his shoulders a bit, sinking into the seat further before facing me.

“Look, Nick. Things between me and your mom haven't always been the greatest.” 

He said with a guilt ridden expression.

Yeah well obviously, I’m the one who has to do everything myself at times with your constant arguing with mom, and I alone stand in the middle of no man’s land.

“And I wanna say… I’m sorry. We never gave you a good childhood, we’re so sorry that we failed you…” 

He said with almost tears in his eyes, with an expression that says guilt like he’s the center of fault which he can sometimes be at times.

Jeez this man is breaking down but being serious it really explains why I’m the person I am right now, never knew what to do, never knew what to say sometimes, never knew how to diffuse situations especially times like this so I often just be silent.

If I could change things, I would do it in a heartbeat; it makes me really sad that it had to come to this where my own dad is breaking down in front of me in the middle of nowhere because of his and her mistakes.

Dare you to say it’s over, It definitely is, this family is over. What more can I do? If I try to stop them it’ll just continue and even if the situation dies down it’ll end up being awkward between the both of them, holding on only because of their only son. I never wanted that. I’d rather them both divorce rather than persist only because of their so. 

That’s not love, that’s called a business cooperation.

If I had to choose who to stay with, I’d definitely pick dad. Mom was a dick, despite not having one literally.

My face turned to a concerned expression as I noticed I’ve been reflecting for a while without talking, my dad must think I’m in the shits.

“Uhm, Dad. I get it. … Despite me not being too experienced in life, I get it. And honestly… it’s fine that I never really got to experience the fruits of my childhood.”

It’s not.

“None of that stuff ever intrigued me anyways”

It always fucking did.

“And I forgive you and mom for all those times you argued in front of me”

For all the nights they made me cry to sleep? Fuck. No.

It seems my face gives away my lies since my father seems more guilt ridden then he was 5 seconds before; I feel bad. Despite wishing to be in another life in another place, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this is my life and I’m meant for it, besides, I wouldn’t wish this type of life on any other.

I try to retain my poker face to ease the tension but it seems it doesn’t work, the air becomes thick, I’m not sure if he’s pissed or just sad, it’s probably both. 

I knew my dad was a strong minded person but I’d never expect to see him shed a tear, let alone a sad frown.

My train of thought plus the awkward silence was cut short with him talking again, now with a more stable composure.

“I know that you're not happy. Believe me, I’m not happy either. But it’s for the best, the move is for you to get away from the arguing, not for me to abandon you, trust me.”

He said, putting his arms on the table.

Well at least there’s some clarification, now I know he’s not gonna be some deadbeat father abandoning me; it’s just a matter of ‘is he going to visit me or let me stay there alone and send me money every time I ask.’ it’s gonna suck staying there, no matter how much he reassures me.

I had to leave friends, community, people I knew and loved, left places I always go to, restaurants I used to always eat at, left the comfort in my room.

I always felt angry at my mom for giving birth to me, why would you have a child with someone you’re gonna constantly argue with, ever since I was 5, they always argued non-stop. 

There was rarely any time that we had any family time; and every time there was, I always cherished those moments, although it was never relaxed, it was always tense.

“I had to leave my friends, dad. I had to leave everything that I used to know to a place that I went only ONCE! ONCE! It was only one summer! It’s a small summer home in the middle of NOWHERE!” 

I snapped almost yelling , my face contorting between anger, rage, and angst.

All of my pent up rage from what I had to go through and from the divorce all pouring out.

“Do you know what I had to go through, dad?! Have you guys ever thought about MY feelings?! Instead of your guys' failing marriage?! I had no childhood! I had no moment in my life where you guys just kiss and make up! It’s all argue, argue, argue!”

My hail of outbursts gets cut with my dad’s rebuttal

“Did you think I wanted this?! I’ve always been kind to your mother! Yet she always finds a reason to argue all the time! Nick, you got nip this in the bud! Your mom has always been so pugnacious, since when we dated! But I promise you, it was a lot tamer; it was petty things! And I’m sorry! I didn’t know! And now I’m trying MY best to fix everything! So if you still want to argue with me, you can live wherever the hell you want and you can live this life alone.” 

His words caught me off guard, I never expected him to actually yell back; since he was guilt ridden just a few minutes ago.

“I’m sorry… I’m trying the best that I can to recover what’s left of your youth to make it worth it. Nick, what I’m offering you is something that you can never receive again. This is a new life, a rebirth for you; take the most of it, it’s a small town so you’ll basically become friends with practically everyone.”

I guess he’s right, I’ve always hoped and dreamed of change and being in another life, technically it’s being handed to me right now and I’m acting so ungrateful. The moment my current life is being pulled and given a new one, I act like my life right now is the best even though it isn’t. 

It really is time for me to change my perspective.

“No, Dad. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what you were trying to do with me.”

I said defeatedly, slumping my body back on the chair.

We sat across from each other for a while, the air still thick but not as thick as before. I suppose I was just scared that what I had built back in Volcadera was all going to be destroyed in a blink of an eye, or a road trip to Brighton. 

I guess I was scared that I would be isolated, exiled, or disregarded by everyone there by being from the city. I’ve always felt I was like a town boy since I was about 8; that might’ve sounded weirder than it supposed to intend but whatever.

I noticed we’ve been out here for a while, mostly sitting in silence and the moment of arguing. 

I pulled out my phone and noticed it’s 3:10 AM. Jeez we’ve been out here for that long? Surprised we hadn’t been out here till the sun came up. We still have about… a shit ton of hours of driving to do, might as well move on now.

Seems by pulling out my phone, dad took the hint and started to grab his car keys from the table and stood up.

“Come on, Nick. We better go now, can’t stay out forever.” 

He said a bit more energized this time instead of a forced one, this seems more real; a relief after what just had happened 10 minutes ago.

I stood up, grabbed the plastic bag filled with the things I bought from the ground next to me and followed my dad to the car.

He entered the driver’s seat as I entered the back seats, I huddled up in the blankets again; at least the car warmed up a bit despite the cold temperature outside.

The car sounds to life again with an aggressive hum and dad drives into the road again, continuing this roadtrip into the Midwest again, despite my still bitter distaste of moving away from everything that I know, I yearn to know what it feels like to actually live a life.

I start to get tired as I lie myself on the car seats. The last thing I saw before going to sleep was my dad driving and the starry night sky; a falling star, a sign of hope to me.

I woke up 5 hours later to my dad’s voice waking me up.

“Nick. Nick. Nick! Wake up!”

My dad softly yells to the back of the small car.

“Huh..? Where are we?”

I groggily respond, slanting my eyes and widening them to wake up fully, stretching my back as well.

I sat up and noticed we’re in a parking lot near a small restaurant in a small town. 

I checked my phone and it’s 8:34 AM.

The sun blares down on the small town, I get out of the car with my dad and the air is still cold as we make our way to the small restaurant. It's like any old family style diner restaurant; similar to a waffle house but a bit more runned down.

We entered the restaurant to the smell of grease and grease. It reeks of it. We sat on the table by the windows as a Triceratops waiter went up to our table with 2 menus, and a pen and paper.

She asked with a tired expression, her face covered with light make up with a waist apron, red buttoned up shirt, and red skirt.

So many options on the menu

Carnivore section…

Typical. A bunch of meats and bone cuts

Herbivore section…

Too many salads.

I guess there's no omnivore section? Wow we really are in the middle of nowhere.

Well since I fucking hate vegetables, I’ll just pick the smallest dish from the carnivore section.

Aaannddd It’s a kids meal… Great.

30 minutes passed by and after dad and I ate off of the kids meal menu, he paid our bill and we went outside.

I just noticed I haven’t taken a shower since we left. I’m still wearing my typical everyday clothes; a sweater vest, a blue jacket, a band T-shirt underneath, baggy jeans, and thick rimmed prescription glasses.

We both get in the car again and I sat in the backseat playing on my phone as we made our way back on the road again.

“Dad, how long are we till we get there?” 

I asked curiously. Seems we’ve gotten about the whole day down.

“About 1 more day. We’re about to leave Colorado and head to Nebraska then after we’ll reach Iowa then Brighton.”

Seems a bit tiring for him, sounds exhausting to drive all night and day. 

How the fuck does he do this?!

Sleep deprived while driving, that calls for a recipe for a bad car crash.

Raptor Jesus, please let me reach Brighton in one piece.

“Dad, are we gonna stop by a motel tonight? You’ve been driving all night and about to drive all day today.”

I said to him, to which he responds calmly.

“We might, now that you’ve mentioned it. Probably not.”

I could see his calm demeanor from the rearview mirror.

What the hell is wrong with him?

“Dad, you’re gonna be sleep deprived. That’s gonna get us into a car crash.”

I said sternly. 

Why am I the one parenting him now?

“If you’re gonna bitch about it like your mother then fine. Besides we aren’t even taking 18 hours to get to Brighton, it’ll only be 14 hours at most till we get there.”

He said while giggling, fuck off dad. But at least now I know he still has a sense of humour after the whole divorce fiasco.

I discarded myself from that conversation and looked out the window, I could see the grasslands from afar, the hills far away, as a train came rolling in from the tracks on the side of the road.

Then that sign showed up that I could see from the back of the car.

‘Welcome to Nebraska, The good life; Home of Arbor day’

This place would be great to smoke in, the cool winds, empty lands, green scenery, the trains passing every once and a while. The only downside would probably be that it’s gonna be hard going back to the town or city you came from considering this is literally the middle of nowhere.

Although we might reach there earlier since, it wouldn’t take 12 hours to drive across Nebraska; and Brighton is just about outside of the city, so it wouldn’t be too foreign for me.

I decided to pull out my phone to check out my friends back home with Snootchat, but as soon as I opened the app the signal went out and I couldn't receive any reception.

Now I’m all bored here, in a car heading to Iowa.

“Dad, if I’m moving to Brighton. What school am I even going to?”

I asked. I only realized now that I haven’t asked my dad about my new school; I only hope it’s not one of those Private Catholic schools where they force you to wear a uniform.

“St. John’s Guidance Star Catholic School is the name I think. Jeez those schools have such a long name”

The word 'Catholic' makes my heart drop to the bottom. 

What the hell?!

I don’t wanna wear a fuckass uniform!? I thought those schools were expensive. Why the hell would he send me there?!

“Dad, what the fuck?! A Catholic school?!”

I could see my dad frown from the rearview mirror. I knew it wasn't up to debate what school I’m going to but damn it’s so annoying that I have to go there; I already hate school as much as I do.

“Look, it’s not up for discussion which school you’re going to. You’re going there because you’re gonna be all alone in Iowa. If you decide to disappear or go missing. They’ll go to our house and notify me. Don’t think you can get away from this.”

He said, a bit ominously; although his face seems rather calm no matter how much of a kidnapper he sounds right now.

I sighed, as I knew I couldn’t do anything but make the most of it.

“I know you don’t like it. They make you wear uniforms, they’re more strict than regular schools. But make the most of it. I promise you it’ll be fine. Like have fun, you’re acting like tomorrow’s gonna be the end of the world.”

It could be the end of the world, like how one day I’m living my life in Volcadera, then the next I’m moving to Brighton.

But what can I do, for my entire life, I never had any choice or voice in it. 

I never did. 

I feel as if I don’t even know what to expect anymore. I’m losing hope everyday.

I decide to resolve the little argument and go on my phone, listening to Green Day on Snootify.

‘Are you locked up in a world that’s been planned out for you?’

Oooh okay nevermind that, how about… Blink-182.

‘They never solve them, it makes no sense at all.’

I guess I’m not feeling that either, Modern Baseball?

‘Cause God knows I’d rather die than be dying.’

…

I guess I’m not feeling like listening to music anymore. Everything’s too relatable, I’d rather be distant from my problems than actually hurting myself trying to address it.

I decide to look outside to drown out the pain that's in me. It's around 9:42 AM now and the sun is almost reaching noon, the still endless grasslands, with passing by a few small towns.

The sky is clear and the air I bet is very clean; unlike whatever is in the city, very polluted sometimes.

7 hours passed by and we had only reached the middle of Nebraska, for some reason it didn’t feel like forever and that I’m actually thrilled to arrive at Brighton; worked up on what Brighton is like since it’s been forever since I’ve got there.

I guess this is my life for 3 more years, what can I do more than accept it?

A little while later I reached another gas station and like yesterday, we rested a bit; an hour and a half to rest before going again.

My dad decides to park in  the corner of the small parking lot, turned off the ignition of the car and starts taking a nap in the car with the window slightly opened and his seat adjusted back.

“If you need anything, here’s another 10. Don’t wake me up unless it’s an emergency or it has already been an hour and a half. Got it?” 

He says as he sets his hat over his eyes already trying to sleep.

I put back my jacket on and ready myself to set foot outside to walk a bit.

“Okay, dad. I’m just gonna take a walk outside.”

I said already opening the car door which he responds with a grunt.

As I set foot outside the air is chill and cool, the sky is bright blue and the sun is shining down on me annoyingly; I’m not used to hot and cold air mixing, and the heat.

I could see another small town from here, more grassland, and cars on the road passing by. This gas station seems like any other gas stations that’s out here, except this one is in Nebraska; not quite sure if that makes it special or not but whatever.

I walked around for a while before going into the convenience store and buying a drink, and sitting on the metal chairs that's outside of the convenience store by the entrance

“Hey, kid. You going somewhere?”

I look to my side and see someone beside me. It’s a Spinosaurus guy in grungy looking clothes; a cardigan, white-grayish T-shirt and ripped jeans. 

What does he even want? He doesn’t seem the type to just rob me suddenly and he kinda looks like Kurt Cobain with that hairstyle going onto his back, that’s probably his goal, to look like Kurt Cobain, even though he looks nothing like him.

“Yeah, somewhere east or whatever. I don’t even wanna move but here I am.”

He said as he invited himself into one of the chairs next to me.

“I see, y’know you should see the bright side of things.”

He said as he pulls out a pack of cigarette and lighter

“You have no idea how many people have said that to me and I haven’t been able to find even one. I’m being sent 5 states over in a town I don’t even know. I have to fend for myself alone; I’m lucky I already know how to cook and buy groceries because my mom rarely cooks at home.”

I said, sinking into the seat, my face already going irritated from having to discuss this again.

“Well, maybe you should treat it as an opportunity. Not everyday people move. Yeah it can suck. Yeah it can feel like you're leaving everything behind but you haven't even moved there yet so how can you be sure it's gonna suck?”

It sucks because it fucking sucks

“And if this is such a tragedy for you, just embrace it. So you can use it as a story when you're successful y'know? I remember a quote that goes something like: Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art. Tragedies can be a good thing sometimes.”

Remind me who this guy is again? He just sat down next to me randomly without asking and now he's giving me life advice? 

“Uhhh… yeahh… Remind me who you are? And why are you giving me life advice?”

He doesn't respond to that but scoffs at me. 

“Look, man. Just take my advice, don't be a shitty ass person just whine whine whine all the damn time. Not every thing is against you. Your parents are still together right?”

Fuck you. 

“That's literally why I'm moving, my parents just divorced and now I have moved across 5 states and live alone in some random town.”

He takes a drag of a cigarette and puffs it out. 

“I see, well sorry then. Who are you moving with? Dad or mom?”

Neither because I live alone, and even so I'd rather live alone than to live to endure their constant fighting. 

“None, because my dad is sending me to that town alone.”

I said, taking a sip of my drink which has gone warm by now. 

“No, I mean who's driving you?”

Oh, right. Should've said that in the first place but whatever. 

“Dad, he's always been the caring one to me, but not caring enough to stop the constant arguing I guess.”

I said, which he smiles at that last part like it's a joke; His cigarette is really tempting me right now. 

“Well what about mom? Is she caring too or is she the deadbeat?”

He said with a relaxed but curious voice. 

“Yeah, she is the deadbeat. She never took care of me. I have had to make my own food since I was 11, and buy the groceries too. I hated her so much.”

I said as I looked into the empty grass land beyond the hills in front of the gas station. 

“Well? Have you tried telling her your feelings?”

Her last words before I go resonated in my head

“YOU'RE JUST GONNA LET YOUR FATHER TAKE YOU?! THEN GO AHEAD LEAVE YOUR BIRTH MOTHER! I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR FATHER ANYWAYS!”

“Let's just say before this journey, she said somethings that are not so great to me and my dad.”

I said with a growing tired voice. I noticed that it'd been a while, I pulled out my phone and noticed it's only been half an hour. This is taking forever. 

“I wished she loved me more, I really wished I knew what it's like to feel loved and missed. It shouldn't take a sickness or airplanes falling out of the sky for people to love and miss someone.”

I said, pouring out my feelings. It feels better than any mental health forums or online therapists I've contacted. 

“Perhaps you could make peace with her? I mean, not to offend but I don't think you've ever talked to her without trying to argue.”

Yeah right, she's the one that always causes arguments, I've tried to do nice things for her but it always ends up in arguments and no forgiveness.

 “Yeah right! Like hell I wanna talk to her again! I got the chance to live a new life and you're telling me to talk to her again?! Fuck. That.”

He seems disappointed by my outburst, he takes a long drag before puffing out and stomps it. He stood up and said to me in a calmer stoner-like voice. 

“Well, it wouldn't hurt to actually try, would it? Since you don't have to see her again. She is your mom after all.”

He walks away and enters the convenience store. 

Wait, wasn't that the cashier from inside? What the hell? A cashier just gave me life advice and told me to call my deadbeat mom? 

I mean if I called up my mom, what good would come out? I already know if I call her right now, the first thing I'd hear is a stubborn pissed off voice. 

But then again I don't really know until I call her, should I? It has been a while since I've seen her. A week before I moved I had to stay over at my friend's place before getting picked up by my dad. I haven't taken a shower in 2-3 days now and my clothes are starting to smell. 

“... It wouldn't hurt if you tried, would it?...” 

Those words echo around my head like a mantra. 

Fuuuuuckkk… Fine. 

I pulled out my phone, and it's 4:52 PM. almost sundown. I opened my phone app and scrolled to see my mom's contact

[Asshole Mom]

Well here goes nothing I guess. I pressed the call button and I waited… and waited… And waited. 

No response. Huh must not have heard it. Let me try again. 

I waited… And waite-

“What the hell do you want?”

A stern stubborn voice comes on.

Why am I not surprised? What an asshole… didn't say hello, just said what I wanted. 

I swallowed my pride and attempt to make peace with her. 

“Look, mom. I just wanted to say that, I'm on the road right now and I hope that you're safe in Volcadera, and that I hope you have the time of your life. I know this is something that's unpredictable.”

It's completely predictable, this shit has happened for most of my life

“But in the end it's right y’know? I know you don't give a shit about me but I want to say that not everybody is against you.”

A moment of silence before her same voice comes on

“I don't need your sobby life advice, if you want money just FUCKING SAY IT! DON'T BE A FUCKING COWARD LIKE YOUR FATHER!”

And that's the point where I snapped, that fucking bitch can't be satisfied, all she does is argue argue argue. My dad was right.

“You know what?! FUCK YOU! I have tried to be nice to you my entire life! And what do you give me and my dad? Just argue argue constant fighting that never stops! I don't get why you're so mad at me! Ever since I was a kid, I had to fend for myself, cook for myself, clean my clothes on my own, even get groceries because dad was always working and you were never around! And when you were around, you always beat me for the smallest reason!”

Years and years of pent up rage against my mom all  pouring out into my phone, I hope that she never fucking talks to me again. She can die for all I care. 

“And I FUCKING hope YOU DIE A SLOW PAINFUL DEATH, YOU. BITCH.”

I said in a final sentence before hanging up and blocking her number, sealing my last time ever talking to her. 

I looked around to see if anyone was listening, just the cashier from inside smirking a bit and a couple of people at the gas pumps. 

I wanna feel embarrassed but that was honestly so good to actually get out of my system. Now I don't have to listen to her argue ever again, and now fully relieved to move to Brighton.

I checked the time and realised it's 5 O'Clock. Still half an hour until I have to go again.

I looked around again and saw the sun already coming down, it's almost sundown. There's not much of a view here except for roads and hilly grasslands.

There's still about 4-5 more hours of driving before we reach Iowa, then another 2 hours before we reach Brighton. We're almost there already. 

I decided to stood up and go inside the convenience store to charge my phone. 

I opened the door and the cashier looked at me with a smirk on his face. 

“I assume she didn't take it lightly huh?”

He said with the same voice just with a bit of an attitude. 

“Fuck you for ever making me call her. I tried to be nice but all she did was scream at me after. Anyways can I charge my phone here?”

He smiles and nods as he takes my phone and charger and charges my phone behind the counter

“Can I just hang out there for like a while? I got nothing to do”

I said, as I try get behind the counter

“Sure, I don't give a shit. So where are you going? That's soo bad.”

He said in sarcastic tone at that last part

“Brightonhaven, small town in Iowa near the outskirts of Des Raptor.”

I replied. 

I sat down on the floor next to him as he sat on the chair. 

“So what's your name? I've never asked before.”

I asked curiously. 

“No shit, you haven't. We just met. Davie.”

Well jeez dick. So much for trying to get friends. 

“Oh screw off. The name's Nick. How long have you been here before?”

I asked while staring at him

“Ehh, around 2 years. The pay is shit but no one is willing to hire me. Although I am a part time sound engineer for a band.”

A band? How can you be a part time sound engineer for a band? Wouldn't that make you full time if they only ask you to work on their music? 

“Oh yeah? What band? Do they pay you well?”

I asked while smirking

“Some band from Iowa called Old Tennis or whatever. Everytime they release a single they ask me to work on it. It pays decent but not enough for month to month”

Old tennis? Isn't that the band I just saw in Colorado? They must be big then if they're from Iowa but their image is all the way out far in Colorado. 

Although I've never heard of them when I was in Volcadera, a bunch of the people there are punks; like Sweet Children, VVURM DRAMA, and Destroyers, now those are the bands that rule Volcadera. 

I guess Old Tennis is like that but bigger and in the Midwest, can you imagine if I joined their band? It might be possible but I don't know. 

What the hell am I rambling about? 

“I think I might've seen their poster in some gas station in Colorado.”

I said, as I adjust my sitting position

“Oh yeah? Well they are decently bigi n the Midwest scene. Especially their female guitarist, she's like one of the best guitar players I've ever seen. She can play all sorts of genres. She has a real talent in music.”

He said a bit enthusiastically. 

Huh, that's nice. I might try giving them a listen in Snootify. Well once my phone is done charging of course. 

“Well I might try giving them a listen. They sound pretty cool. Are they on Snootify?” 

I asked. 

“Yeah they are but I got a surplus of their CDs..”

He stood up and went to the storage room and grabbed a box and brought it over to the counter. 

He grunts as he sets the box of CDs on the counter. 

“Here it is. A bunch of em around 56 if I remembered correctly and here is one I'll give ya for free.” 

Why does he have that much? This is so many CDs that no one bought? 

“Jeez this is a bunch of CDs I assume nobody wanted CDs?”

I asked, grabbing a few out of the box to see how much there is. 

“Yep, well no. It's just they told me to try to sell them but I'm too lazy to actually ask someone to buy them and obviously I'm not gonna ask you to buy some. Who the hell still listens to CDs anyway? They made a shit ton of these, when everyone is already using Snootify, or Wani Music.”

He said as he started taking the box and going back to the storage room, leaving me with the CD on the counter. 

The CD that is laid in front of me has a white background with a single image in the middle of a parasaur girl while holding a tennis racket as a toddler with the writing on top of the image; when life was easier. I assume that's the name of this… wait.. This is an EP. 

“Hey, I'm back. So what I was tryna say is that this usually costs 15 bucks but I'll just give you for free since they don't really care if I sell them or not.”

He said showcasing the inside of the CD display case showing a note. 

“Uh yeah, side note. Have they ever released an album before? This is only the EP.”

I asked, holding the CD. 

“Actually, no. They've only released 12 songs by now. Enough for an album or compilation but they never rerecord it. They say it's lazy or whatever.”

He said as he sat back on the chair behind the counter. 

“I see. Have they planned to release anything else?”

 I asked as he sank into the chair a bit. A bit of silence as I could see him thinking.

“Nah, they haven’t. Although they did told me they really wanted to release an album and go on tour but the frontwoman said “School is a fucking dildo.””

He laughs as he says the last part and I laughed too. Calling your school a dildo is legendary, school has always been something that I hated since I was 12.

Yeah I have good grades but that’s literally because the materials are easy. The education is fine. The system is just a bunch of dickheads.

“Well, thanks for the CD tho. Hey, can I have my phone back?”

I said and he immediately gave my phone and charger back. I turned my phone on and waited as it booted. My wallpaper appears and the time says 5:35 AM, 5 minutes late but that’s fine.

I stood up and I tidied my clothes a bit, and said to Davie.

“Well, I must go now because it's getting late and I gotta be in Brighton today.”

I grabbed the CD and  started to walk towards the door. I could see the sunset from inside the store but Davie stopped me. 

“Yo kid, stay safe. And I'll see you soon”

Weirdo.

As I stepped outside a cool breeze hit me and I searched for the car. There were no other cars in sight, just a cloudless sunset sky, cars rushing on the road and my car in the parking lot. 

I finally went up to the car and saw my dad already awake and waiting in the car smoking with the car window open. 

I opened the car door and hopped in. The smell of cigarettes reeked in there, so I had to open a window. 

“Hey, Da- eugh! Why is the smell so strong?”

I protested covering my nose and opening a window. 

“What? You never smelled a cigarette before?” 

He said as he took a drag looking at me through the rearview mirror. The smell is too strong, I feel like my lungs are about to collapse; I have smoked before but nothing this strong.

“I have! This stuff is so strong. What the hell, dad?!”

He scoffs and flicks the cigarette off the window.

“Dad! We’re in a gas station, why would you smoke here?! The entire place could’ve blown up in flames!”

I lightly yelled, to which he didn't respond but started driving off, getting on the road again.

The sun has almost settled and the moon starts to appear clearer and clearer.

I could feel myself getting more and more tired so I decided to close my eyes and skip the rest of the journey and pretend that I don’t exist and if I’m lucky, I won’t wake up.

Although as much as I hoped for that, I wasn’t that lucky. I woke up and realized we’re already in Brighton, I noticed that the CD was still in my hand. I put it away in my bag and reached for my phone in my pocket. 

I take a look on my phone and see 9:23 PM on it. I decided to pack my blanket in my backpack and tidied everything in my backpack, as the car reached the house.

The house was rather big, it kinda looked like a summer home but in Iowa. I've heard from my father that it was inherited from my grandfather to my father.

The car entered the driveway and finally the 48 hour ride ended. I took my backpack and stepped out of the car. My father got out and went to the door; walking through the garden; grabbing his keys and opening the door, the odd dusty smell started pouring out and I started walking back to the car and unpacking the several boxes from the car and bringing it in.

My dad led me up to the 2nd floor and showed me my room.

“Okay, this is your room. It’s quite large for one person, but hey. It’s yours now.”

It is quite large, it’s a pretty empty room with a twin size bed in the middle, a window behind the bed, a walk-in closet on the left. A table and chair beside the door and a cross on the wall in front of the bed.

“Well, thanks dad. I'll uh be fine in this room.”

I give him a reassuring smile which he smiles back.

“Good! Alright, rest up. We’ll talk again tomorrow before I go.”

He went back and closed the door. Now I’m alone in this big room. I took off my jacket and put myself on the bed, the soft mattress welcoming me and comforting me after hours in that car.

This is my life now, reborn. New and fresh. I should forget about the past and start living as a new person in this place.