Chapter Text
The training grounds of Baltigo are filled with the voices of clattering, fights, and training. Sabo is having a friendly match, or so he calls it, with Ivankov. You and Sabo have been close since you joined. You consider him as one of your close friends, but you're not sure if he thinks so. His hair shines golden in the sunlight, eyes shimmering metallic silver, and his hat? Safely put in your hands.
“Beautiful”, you mumble to yourself as you take in the sight of him fighting. You have always found him good looking, did someone like you even deserve to share the same space with someone as charming as him? — you, often, find yourself pondering on such thoughts.
“You're staring at him again”, you get out of your trance at the voice. It was Koala. “wh-hat?! I'm not—”, you reply, cheeks flushing red at her teasing words. She gives you a nudge, a knowing smile, “Hehe~ you don't have to hide it”, she teases.
You turn away slightly, fingers clenching onto Sabo's hat in your hands, “i don't know what you mean” Koala sighs, dropping the usual cheekiness and just passes a smile. She loves teasing you on Sabo and all you could do was just deny the fact that you were attracted to him. Afterall, someone like you didn't deserve to be near him let alone be with him.
Before you knew, Sabo is standing infront of you. Leaning against the wall until you notice him. Your gaze flickers up to meet his, the fondness in his eyes melts your heart, and even the walls you had built between you and him, he grins as your gaze finally falls on him. Stepping closer, you look up at him, he is much taller than you, much boarder, much stronger, much better.
Your hands itch to adjust his golden hair, surpassing the desire and letting it sink in your heart, you smile, “Here you go.” Returning him his beloved hat, his fingers brush slightly against yours as he takes it, “Arigatou” (Thank you), he says in his usual subdued tone. “Wasn't I amazing today?”, he asks with grin, adjusting his hat on his head.
“Maybe”, you respond pretending to be not awestruck by his amazing strength and power. “huh? Come on! Your eyes were fixed on me!”, he whines thinking he has got you by saying that. “It's because I thought you sucked”, Koala chuckles at your replies, knowing how much you admire him, care for him, and love him.
“Oh yeah! Sabo, y/n, Dragon-san called for you”, Koala recalls.
After reaching Dragon's office, you and Sabo get assigned to a new mission. It was simple. Sneak in, wait, steal an important document and come back. Nothing much right? Or so you and Sabo had thought.
~Few days later~
You had just woken up after the mission, you got terribly injured. It wasn't supposed to go like this, it was supposed to be a simple task but the security was too much for a simple piece of paper. Your head still hurts, you stare at the ceiling of the ship, pain lingering in every fibre of your being. You don't even remember how you got back to ship, much less anything about how the mission went.
Sitting up on the bed, you glance at yourself, bandaged up, taken care of. You let out a heavy sigh as you take in the events that had taken place. Just when you're recalling the moments, Sabo enters the room. However, you didn't notice him entering until he stood infront of you. “Y/n, how are you feeling?”, his voice laced with concern as he sat down on the bed beside you.
“Mhm fine”, you manage to speak out. You look at him, he looks fine, unhurt almost. “We are almost back at Baltigo. Rest up”, he says giving you a reassuring soft smile.
“Back? Wait, what happened to mission? the document?”, you ask as you didn't remember much. Your memory was still hazy, and the best you could remember was asking Sabo for help in the middle of a clash and passing out right after Sabo had arrived. “Could'nt get it”, he replies, expression hidden beneath the shadows of his hat.
Your eyes dilate at his words, it wasn't supposed to go like this. If only you were better, if only it wasn't for you, he would've gotten it. “You left it because I asked for help? Didn't you?”, you ask, no, almost accuse him.
“It's not that. You don't have to worry about it”, he rises to his feet to leave. His back facing you, just like it did while protecting you — reliable and broad. He felt distant, far away. Even though, he stood within your reach, it felt like you couldn't get to him even if you reached out your hand to him. He is much stronger, capable, and amazing than you.
“How can I not? You left it because I asked for help, didn't you? Tell me!”, you ask again. No response. He had nothing to say. How could he admit that he left it because he wanted to get to you?— to safety? That you were far more important. That he didn't care if he failed the mission as long as you were alright.
“Answer me! Isn't that so? Because I was fucking useless and incompetent— because I asked you to come over— I- I could've held on longer! Why didn't you get it?”, your fingers clutch at the sheets as you ask him. He turns around to face you, he looked angry — angry at you for something. Because you were incompetent, right? “Ah- he is angry because I was useless right?”, you thought to yourself.
“How could I let you be? Don't be ridiculous! You're covered in bandages!”, his voice was rough, laced with anger, and something more you couldn't quite tell. “You would've died if I came a little later! It's all fine as long as you're alive!”, he huffs, breathe caught in his lungs. His gaze wasn't soft, the metallic glow in his pupils was gone, replaced with a dark glint in his eyes — like he had heard enough, seen enough.
“You're being ridiculous! It's nothing at all! It would have been better if—”, he cuts you off instantly, unable to bear the sight of you speaking such things while your body is covered in bandages, “Shut up! We did enough! We did what we could do”, he tried his best to not raise his voice but it was futile. His voice echoed in the room, he yelled at you for the first time.
“Don't blame yourself, y/n. It's fine, really”, he says softer this time. Was he being sympathetic? Trying to bring some solace to your shattered heart? The voice of soft clicks of his boots echoes in the room as he leaves. Again, his back facing you — was that all you could see of him? Maybe he never looked at you eye to eye either.
After reaching Baltigo, you lock yourself up in your quarters. You refuse to get out of your room for any reason. Minutes become hours, hours turn into day, and day turn into days. You didn't care what went on outside, you could tell Sabo came by frequently to check up on you — asking you if you were alright, asking you to change your bandages, asking you to eat, asking you to open up atleast once. All you could do was reply; “Leave me alone”
You are, right now, huddled up against the door re-thinking everything that took place. It frustrates you how incompetent and useless you were there. All you had done was rely on Sabo, and due to which he couldn't secure the documents. All because you couldn't do your part. “So pathetic”, you mumble to yourself.
A soft knock reaches your ears, it was Sabo, definitely, “Y/n, it's me. Sabo. How are you feeling now?”, his voice muffled by the material between you two. You hated how his voice sounded, like he was worried. “Leave me alone”, you replied. You couldn't get yourself to face him, not now, never again.
“How can I leave you alone, y/n? It's been days. Open up atleast”, his voice soft and low, you could make out the tone even through the layers muffling his voice. “I'm fine. Leave”, you almost yelled. Why wouldn't he leave you alone? He was fucking amazing, capable, dependable, powerful and beautiful unlike you who couldn't get anything done.
“Please, open the door. Just this once?”, his voice almost pleading, you doubted your ears at the sound of cracks in his voice. Maybe, it was your imagination, you concluded. Why would he worry about you? Sure, you are close friends but that was it.
“I said leave! Why the hell do you keep coming back? I said I'm fine!”, you yelled, definitely this time. While, you appreciated his concerns but he is the last person you'd like to see right now. “Fine? You are definitely not fine! Leave you alone? Never!”, his voice firm and rough but not to the point of yelling. Your fingers clenched into fists, his presence was doing more harm than help.
“Just leave already! I don't want to see you! You are the last person I'd like to see right now!”, the sound of your yelling echoed in the room, in hopes that this way it will get to him clearer, that he would understand you don't want to see him for obvious reasons.
“Why the hell can't you understand that I don't want to see you? You're disgustingly beautiful! — Your flames, eyes, scar, face, everything about you is too beautiful!”, admitting that leaves a sour taste in your mouth but you couldn't help it. Not only was he good looking but also competent in other areas as well which makes you feel small next to him. “..To the point, it makes me sick! I don't want to see—”, tears had started rolling down your eyes without you even realizing. Were you jealous of him? No, you are afraid — of not being enough to be with him.
“—feels like I'm completely useless next to you”, mumbling the part to yourself hoping he wouldn't hear it. You heard no response from the man standing behind the door. The only thing you heard following by your yelling was the sound of his footsteps retreating. Finally, he understood that you didn't want to see him, right now.
~Next day~
You have, finally, decided to get out of your cave of a room. You had spent too long in the comfort of your quarter and after everything that happened. You had to see Sabo as well; to apologize.
However, Sabo wasn't ready to have a chat with you. You did try to talk to him but he gave you a cold shoulder. You couldn't understand what was wrong. Maybe, it was better this way. After all you didn't deserve to be with someone as magnificent as him. You figured this was for the better but was it?
You noticed how he avoided eye contact with everyone he talked to, how he looked anxious today. You found yourself worrying about him even though you have decided to let it be, let him be. That the silence between you and him was ideal.
Next day, you ran into him in the hallways but you made no effort to strike a conversation. He looked more in a hurry, you noticed how blood trickled down his knuckles still you made no moves to talk to him. It was how it is supposed to be.. Moreover he would be better off without you or so you thought.
On the third day, a striking change in his appearance was noticable, not just by you but everyone. The tall dependable blonde, metallic sliver eyes, dressed in presentable suits as always, a black hat on his head, and a black coloured material covering the scar on the left side of his face — “An eye-patch?”, you murmur, lips parted and pupils dilated at the sight.