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The sickly winter air cut through his face, cruel and sudden, burning his skin, stealing away whatever warmth he had left from his discarded coat in one harsh pull. The day has reached its end as the sun sets before him, mothers prepare the last meal for their household and fathers return home just intime as the final curfew hits the city of Yokohama. Osamu Dazai would return to nothing. No parents, no warm meal and no safety net, just him. The final hours of living in this cursed world will come to end, is it bad that Dazai feels comfort in the silence upon the school rooftop? Waiting? Waiting for this cruelty to wash upon the shore of the supposed underworld?
He didn't learn much in his 17 years of living. Most of his life was kept in the waiting room of hospitals but what he has learnt is there is nothing meaningful about this retched world, he believes the rest of the world thinks the same, if not they would prepare to defend the earth from mass destruction instead of providing comfort for their own.
"Dazai." Dazai clocked him immediately. The smuggest voice, red hair and those sharp eyes full of confidence there is no mistake to know that Chuuya Nakahara has once again disturbed his peace on final time.
"Ahh Chuuya! You must fancy me a lot more than I had originally thought! What an honor to spend the final moments of humanity with Osamu Dazai! The ladies are going to be jealous~"
Chuuya stared at him for a long moment, eyes narrowed, not in anger, but something sharper. Something assessing. "You’re full of shit,” he said finally.
Something breaks...
"Wowie...Chuuya, straight to insults? On an occasion like this? Harsh..."
"Cut it out Dazai. I know what you're really up here for."
Dazai's smile didn't falter in the slightest, although he was irritated at Chuuya's remark towards him. Chuuya Nakahara and Dazai had a bond like no other, a partnership, unbreakable. Chuuya would always without failure see the lies in Osamu's truth. Did Chuuya see the emptiness in Dazai's heart? A bottomless void consuming his whole body one by one until where he slowly found his muse to uplift his sanity? Could he see the truth where he valued him more than anything, when he would try so hard to let him into see his true self instead of a fake personality everyone loved?
"Does it matter?" He shouldn't lie to him, not now.
“It does to me." Dazai felt a tug in his chest pull him from the somber mood of this final hour. "Dazai, tell me." Osamu didn’t know how to smile his way out of this one.
"Isn't it peaceful to spend the last moments of life where one would spend most of their time?" He looked down onto the still street. "Where does someone go when someone is out of affection in their own home? No one is waiting for me to say my last goodbyes, Chuuya. After all this cruelty, am i at least allowed to die watching over peace finally?" His comrade sat next to him stiffly, unsure what the right thing to say to such a sentimental statement.
"You don't have to spend the last moments alone, bastard. I will always be here."
(I GIVE UP!!!)