Work Text:
“Maybe in another life I wasn’t just your online love…”
I can’t remember the last time you visited me.
Maybe it’s been weeks. Maybe it’s been months.
I really tried to make this online love work, but as I stare at my screen that's shining blue and green, all alone in a coffee shop. I can’t help but imagine what maybe could’ve happened if you weren’t just an online love…
Sitting in this coffee shop surrounded by people living their lives, I can’t help but feel completely isolated and alone.
Maybe if you weren’t just an online love, we could be just like the rest of the couples in this coffee shop.
Even as I call you up on the phone, I know that we will never be like those who can spend every minute of every day together.
The bustle of noise around me doesn’t help clear my racing thoughts as I stare down at my phone screen; if anything, it makes me want to scream.
Delete. Delete all the months, all the time together, all the memories. I wonder if we hadn’t been an online couple, if we could have had more time together, but now I’m left with ‘what if’s’ because I know that no matter what I do, I can’t bring myself closer to you.
Still, we talk like we’re living only miles, only minutes from one another or just around the block because no matter how hard I try, I can’t give you up.
Maybe that’s what makes you different from my other online loves. I can’t let you go, no matter how much I want to.
So instead of giving you up, I’ll sit alone in this coffee shop and imagine what could have happened if you weren’t just my online love…