Work Text:
Penelope woke up, stared at the ceiling, and immediately knew two things:
- She was in a novel.
- The novel hated her personally.
“Great,” she muttered. “Another day of breathing incorrectly and getting executed.”
A system window popped up.
📜 [SYSTEM]
Survival Probability Today: 3%
Good luck! 😊
Penelope closed her eyes. “No thank you.”
Downstairs, the Eckart brothers were already arguing.
Derrick was scowling like someone had insulted his bloodline by existing.
Reynold was yelling like someone had insulted his bloodline louder.
Penelope entered the room quietly, sat down, and began eating toast with the focus of someone defusing a bomb.
Reynold slammed the table. “Why are you here?”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Choose a response:
A) “Because Father adopted me.” (+1 hostility)
B) “Good morning, brother!” (-1 hostility)
C) Cry dramatically (+3 sympathy, -2 dignity)
Penelope picked B.
“Good morning, brother!”
Reynold stared like she’d barked.
“…Are you sick?”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Affection +0.0000001%
Penelope: We take those.
Meanwhile, Derrick narrowed his eyes. “What are you plotting?”
“I’m plotting to finish my eggs,” Penelope replied sincerely.
📜 [SYSTEM]
Derrick Suspicion +5
Survival Probability: 2.7%
Penelope sighed. “Fantastic. My eggs lowered my lifespan.”
Later, she ran into Callisto in the hallway.
Callisto looked down at her like a villain who had just discovered a mildly interesting bug. “You look different.”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Danger Level: EXTREME
Romance Route: ???
Death Route: VERY POSSIBLE
Penelope panicked and bowed.
“Sorry for existing.”
Callisto blinked. “…What?”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Affection +2
Confusion +10
Penelope internally screamed. WHY DOES APOLOGIZING TO MURDERERS WORK BETTER THAN THERAPY?
Then came Vinter.
He smiled gently. “Lady Penelope, are you well?”
She burst into tears.
“I JUST WANT TO SURVIVE THE WEEK.”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Vinter Affection +5
Emotional Damage: Shared
Vinter handed her a handkerchief like he’d just adopted a distressed kitten.
Finally, Eckles appeared.
Penelope: “Hello, loyal knight.”
📜 [SYSTEM]
Trust +3
Obsessive Tendencies: Activated
Penelope: “…Why did the music get ominous?”
By nightfall, Penelope collapsed onto her bed.
📜 [SYSTEM]
Daily Summary:
✔ Didn’t die
✔ Didn’t get poisoned
✔ Only insulted emotionally
✔ Mildly traumatized three men
Penelope stared at the ceiling.
“…Honestly? A win.”