Chapter Text
I love you man."
"
Dan receives a ruffle of his hair from Arin after he says this. It's not a tussle meant to mess up his fro, but enough to be a reminder of Arin's presence. As if Dan could forget.
"How many--" Arin starts. But he stops for a second, repositioning himself on the bed. He crosses his legs and lets his hands fall in his lap. "How many types of love do you think there is?"
Dan casts a side glance. That's a sudden, random question to ask. But not out of the ordinary for someone like Arin.
"Hm," Dan says, thinking. "That's...different. I don't know really."
Arin looks at Dan, and their eyes meet. Arin's eyes...are brown. Well, so are Dan's but, they're so much different. Dan's eyes are like dark chocolate, sweet and sharp. Arin's eyes are like dead leaves piled together, autumn-like and easy to lose yourself in.
"Yeah, but you gotta think about it." Arin shifts his focus to the fraying strings on his jeans. He reaches out to fiddle with one while he works through his own thoughts.
"There's more than one type of love. There has to be," Arin continues. Dan studies him intently while he speaks. "You can say 'I love you' to your mom, but you don't mean the same kind of love if you say 'I love you' to a romantic partner, right?"
Dan nods, brows furrowing. "Yeah. I guess so."
"But then there's the trivial kind of love. Like if you're eating ice cream and you're like, 'man, I sure do love ice cream'. But then there's saying you love a friend. And loving, say, a certain moment. Like a first kiss. Or a dream you can't forget. And, I just wonder sometimes, how many different ways you can love something."
Dan stares at the floor, running through his mind. That really is something to think about. He loves his mom and dad, but he also loves his friends. He loves ice cream and skittles and soft blankets and movies. He loves the feeling he gets on a roller coaster. He loves when strangers smile at him from across the street just to be polite. He loves to sleep. He loves the teachers from high school who always helped him out. He loves so many things.
He loves Arin.
Dan loves in so many different ways, and he never even realized that love was such a versatile word. Until Arin pointed it out.
"Wow," Dan says, taken aback by his revelation. He looks at Arin's profile. The curve of his nose and the shape of his lips. The wisps of his hair that he had to have washed just this morning. He takes in all of Arin and realizes that he loves the whole of him, but he loves all the parts that make him too.
Wow.
"It's crazy, right?" Arin asks, turning to Dan once again. "How much there is to one word. It's cool to think about. Food for thought, I guess."
"No, I understand. I..I think." Dan lets out a one syllable laugh, suddenly feeling the intensity of the atmosphere in the room. He feels a tenseness in his shoulders that wasn't there a few moments ago.
"I don't know," Arin says, sweeping his hair into a ponytail. It's getting long, so long that it curls at the bottom of his shoulders. Dan's hair is getting long too, but he likes it that way. He figures that if he lets it grow enough, he can donate it. Maybe.
As soon as Arin finishes his ponytail, his head jerks and looks at Dan's closed door. His head cocks to the side and he looks at Dan.
"Someone coming?" Dan proposes. Arin nods, slipping off the side of the bed. He scoots underneath it, being just short enough to fit under it without his feet poking out.
"Take your time dude, I'll live." And with that, Arin goes silent.
The door opens slowly, and Suzy pokes her head through it. "Hey," she says.
She's all made up. Black lipstick and dark eye makeup and hair all wavy around her shoulders. She's obviously ready to go somewhere.
"Hey Suze," Dan says. He doesn't motion for her to come all the way in, or at all for that matter. He just kinda waits, expectant, for whatever she's going to say.
"Well, Holly had asked me to go to dinner with her. It was totally last minute because Ross had to cancel on her right before they left. She doesn't want to go alone. Are you...can you be okay alone for a few hours?"
Dan nods, maybe a little too quickly. "Yeah, I'll just talk to Arin." Dan bites his lip, wanting to kick himself in the teeth. He wishes he hasn't said it as soon as the words leave his mouth.
Suzy takes on that sympathetic face she always wears when Dan mentions Arin. "Dan.."
He cuts her off. "Yeah, yeah I..I know, okay? It's whatever. I'll just write or something." Dan mimics the same thing Arin did moments ago as he too messes with a stray thread on his jeans.
Suzy's eyes light up, happy to find a way to change the subject. "You started writing again? Sweet, what about?"
Arin. What they do together. How he wants to kiss him sometimes and maybe one day he will. "Just, whatever comes to mind. Songs."
Suzy smiles, genuinely. "Cool, you gotta let me read it when I get back. Okay, I gotta go. Love you."
"Love you too," Dan replies. Suzy blows a kiss, then shuts his door softly.
Arin is suddenly next to Dan again. "She still doesn't believe you?" He asks.
Dan shakes his head, feeling hot in his cheeks.
Arin wraps an arm around Dan's shoulders and pulls him close. A show of affection that would make anyone melt. That tenseness that had been in Dan's shoulders falls away, and suddenly he is smiling, letting his head fall on Arin's shoulder.
"Don't listen to her dude," Arin says. "You can hear me right? See me?" He pokes Dan's nose. "Feel me?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then." Arin lets his arm fall away and then they both just sit on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the wall. There is comfort in this, Dan notes. Love.
What kind of love?