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Sitting down quickly at his desk, Logico scribbled down everything he could remember about irratinos conditions. They were adding up to something he had no desire to admit.
The deductive had gotten five hints over the week via his investigation, and they all lead to one conclusion
1. Irratino loved animals, to the point where he refused to even buy meat.
Walking up these stairs was taking forever. Logico had wandered through the maze, solved a murder, and walked through many flights of stairs to reach irratinos office. He had saved up some money to buy lunch for them both (better than mediocre linguine!) and figured he could stop by for a moment to enjoy it with his partner. Finally reaching the top step, logico knocked to no avail.
And knocked again.
And again.
Finally entering the office, Logico was put off by the smell. Distinctly coppery and rotten, logico covered his nose. He recognised the smell of a dead body with too much familiarity as he went to the inspectors desk quickly. The perfectly breathing inspector yelled out and held a bag to his chest almost instinctively.
“Most people say hello before barging in on someone!”
“Theres a dead body here.”
Irratino blinked before laughing softly, a cold hand coming up and running through Logico's hair. Warmth spread on his cheeks as he saw what irratino was holding: a bag with a raw steak. It was on clearance, with a clear scent of rot. Not a dead body of a person, at least, which made Logico sigh in relief.
“Night asked for some steak and I wanted to bring it in. I’m not sure why but it is delightful to help others, wouldn’t you agree?” The inspector smiled, putting the bag down in his lap. He looked at his hands and fidgeted, almost waiting for a response.
Logico nodded, but still had to stare oddly at the head of the institute. A grid slowly began to form in his head. Irratino did not eat meat at all because of his stance against the meat industry. Even on clearance animal cruelty was still cruelty. Why would he buy for a coworker when he didn't buy for himself? There was no logic behind it.
But there was no logic behind Irratino truly. Perhaps it was a fluke, or a company he trusted. Logico sat across from Irratino and brought out the linguine. Logico put down the bag of linguine.
“I brought this for your lunch. You didn’t have a lot for breakfast this morning…” Logico cleared his throat to hide a small blush at the inspector's smile. Staring at his face, the deductive began to think. Was there guilt in his mind? A small scrape was on the investigator's face, but guilt almost ran in his eyes.
“Aww, well thank you moonshine!”
Any thoughts of irratino holding meat left after that nickname.
“You will not be calling me a type of booze, inspector.”
This was something Logico would have to look at later.
2. The suspect with long, flowing black hair smelled like decay.
“Do you think something floral or fruity would be better?”
Logico had always felt out of his element in rich people stores, and perfume shopping was no different. He usually just used deodorant and some cheap body spray from the store, so all these scents made his head spin. But accompanying Irratino was something he said no to very few times out of his own volition. However, this time the deductive was not paying attention. He was smelling a dead body again.
“I think the lavender one smells faint, if you're looking for subtlety.” Logico murmured, barely perceptible in the busy store. Surrounded by people talking and a thousand different scents it was barely perceptible by there. But rot prevailed over everything when Logico focused. It was difficult whenever Irratino waved a hand in front of his face (Why did the scent pick up when he did?) to pay attention.
“Starlight, that is the third time your brains strayed away from the world. Is something wrong?”
Logico leaned in, blushing at the absurdity of what he was about to say.
“It smells like a dead body in here.” he murmured, covering his face as he looked at the flower based scent his partner let him smell.
“Nobodys been murdered here. Perhaps it's stress.” Irratino slipped a hand into logicos and picked up another perfume. It was a thick peachy scent, overtaking him for a moment before he handed it to Logico “Besides, it may be all the co-mingling in the air. A coincidence?”
Logico stared at the cold hand in his before pulling Irratino in for a small, chaste kiss. He ignored the sudden fluster (whether his own or Irratinos really doesn't matter and shouldn't be looked into.) and breathed in. He breathed in peach, lavender, and rot. Blood is a distinctive scent and Irratino was trying to cover his own scent of it. Why?
“...a simple ‘I disagree’ could've worked, although it's no fun.” the inspector giggled as Logico stared into him, thinking. How could a living man who has (probably) not been around a murder in 24 hours smell so much like rot? Decay was prevalent as the closeness showed him the truth.
“It's you.” he murmured, making Irratino tense.
“Hmm. I really do need perfume.”
3. An Aquarius did not heal properly, or at all for that matter. (of course.)
Movie nights were a staple to Logico for two reasons. 1.) It saves money. 2.) It's cheap. Using popcorn packets and leftovers you could have dinner and a good time. Neither himself nor his partner could get through a Detective or mystery movie without commenting on how terribly unrealistic it was. As such, Detective Pikachu was an obvious choice. Neither of them felt bad making fun of Ryan Rednolds.
"Oh please, It's an obvious twist! Pikachu has an Aura of Amnesia around him!” Irratino frowned, trying to keep his yelling to a minimum. Logico could only take so many noise complaints.
“It is called forgetting his past, and how they established the movie, ‘Tino.” Logico chuckled and looked over at Irratino to hear him talk. Each exaggerated wave made him worry about being hit, or worse, his popcorn falling over. Moving the bowl onto a side table he smiled endearingly at the rambling and slipped a hand into his significant others.
The Inspectors face was often animated, with blemishes hidden under makeup. Today, under these blankets, Irratino felt no need to keep his makeup on. And Logico noticed a scrape.
A familiar scrape that had been there when he dropped off food for Irratino. A scrape from a week ago that entirely should've healed.
“‘Tino..” Logico murmured before he could stop himself, reaching out and cupping his partner's cheek. Irratino leaned in, looking at the deductives glare. He had seen that observational look before, of course. Logicos logic churning, thinking as each clue revealed itself. It was dreadfully familiar, and shouldn’t have been happening in the middle of a date. He knew the deductive would figure him out. But not yet, he pleaded, let me have this for a bit longer.
A silent battle almost began between the partners, the movie playing ignored in the moment their eyes locked. Neither said much, waiting for the other to admit they noticed something odd. But Logic had no evidence, and irrationality had no claim to make. So instead, the battle was postponed until one could push forwards.
Irratino smiled and kissed the deductive palm “I’m just a bit scratched up, Gigi. There's no need to worry about me. Especially with this riveting movie.” Logico's glare intensified but he nodded, leaning back into his seat.
He never once mentioned that scratch to Irratino. Logic was gaining evidence faster than irrationality could make an argument.
4. The suspect that had an esoteric job was motivated to kill out of hunger.
It was truly bothersome whenever Irratino got convicted of murder. It still did happen, usually when that damned dame was involved, but it often made convictions harder.
In this case, Logico could make out four separate motives. Religion, money, career, and hunger.
He's not sure how the idea truly began, but some of the police mentioned it. The suspect with an esoteric job was hungry enough to kill. Now, this could mean lots of things. Heading to lunch and stopped, hanger, or cannibalism. Every day, Logico got closer to worrying that perhaps his partner was a cannibal, or something worse.
There was no logic in this, but slowly that belief was dwindling. First meat, and a scent of decay? Either Irratino had started to eat people or he was a zombie, but that couldn’t happen. Irratino was alive. He talked, argued, and no matter how cold he was he could not be dead and move. Irratino was breathing and speaking and processing food and had a beating heart and was alive.
5. Irratino could not be alive by any means.
Oh. Oh dear.
Logico stared down at the graph he made, back at his desk at home. He remembered the events and conversations of the past few weeks. Seeing his beloathed beloved below a human level left a lurching fear. Twists deep in his stomach Logico could not hunger as the grids spoke to a rational part of his brain that always remained. The deductive deduced that he was no longer concerned of his correctness regarding his partner's state. He was concerned that he had deluded his Logic with emotions and knew he was right. A man of flesh and bone walked and died and dead people didn’t fucking do that but Irratino did. Irrationality had won, once. It could win again. And again and again and
Perhaps he did die on that Island, and Rulean was a murderer again. Or did he die long before that? Brought back unceremoniously, many undead myths were people brought back wrong in a trance, doing labor. The original Haitian myth of zombies (Zumbis was it? He would have to read that later.) had them working as free exploitative labor, maybe irratino was under someones spell? But that doesn't make sense because he acts so human for a monster or a demon or a zombie or an undead freak or the phone was ringing.
Logicos office phone had rung three times before he picked it up, his self made stupor running in the background as an esoteric investigator's voice went in his ears.
“Logico.? Darling, could you do me a favor?” He sounded weak, as though a corpse was learning to speak again.
“What is it?” The deductives voice sounded crackly even to himself, forcing his voice to reset with a cough that went unnoticed by the most perceptive (perhaps not a) person he knew.
"Come over to my place tonight...please-"
There was almost a begging tone in Irratinos voice. Fear and something carnal, primal inside of him. Logicos brain wasn’t functioning. Driving in a daze he couldn’t stop thinking (about how irratino was dead). He wondered if the public knew (that irratino was dead). He was dead waking up, dead sleeping, and as the deductive arrived, dead in his arms.
Reaching to him as he opened the door, Logico raised a hand to the inspector's neck and felt nothing but cold flesh.
“Thank you, Logi-”
“Its you, Inspector. You’re dead.”
Hint: Irratino tried out some necromancy before announcing his conclusion. "Zombies are real."
Sitting in this familiar kitchen Logico noticed the evasive eyes of a liar in the significant bother in front of him. His eyes narrowed at the beast of silence between them both.
“I’m not a cannibal. I barely even eat people,” began Irratino. “Well, I don’t eat people. I eat animals. It has to be raw or i get sick, which is just an inverse of veganism really, a Carnivore diet. I died from Rulean and I believe magic brought me back and please don't leave.”
Logico took a deep breath and stood up, arms crossed as the Inspector dug his own grave.
“I’m not leaving, Irratino. I want answers.”
“I’m a corpse that walks, theres not a lot of answers I have.”
“Did you call me here to eat me?”
There was an incredulous stare sent back to Logico before Irratino held his hands together
“Logico, My Rationale, Darling, I have no intention to hurt you. I was going to ask you to bring some packaged steak but you hung up”
Even with all the lying Irratino had done, to keep any aspect of the inspector alive inside him, Logico had to believe him.
“Slow down for me, ok? Tell me how this all began.”
So, the inspector did. He talked about the island, dying, and then not dying. A fade to nothing followed by every sensation hurt, but when he awoke he was home, and Logico only cared about one thing. So, The inspector did the only illogical thing he could think of and continued to fake his non-deadly death! There was no way that he hadn’t died, and logico couldn’t prove logically that dying wasn’t deadly, so they landed here. Logico stared at every fallacy coming out of irratinos mouth and forced himself to believe it as truth. There had to be something, somewhere, showing how alive (or dead) irratino was, right? The corpse in front of him had no answers, however. Logic and the Esoteric could not say. All they knew was that Irratino was no longer alive, but still moving and breathing.
A zombie.