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Sam had always been a little more open minded about “new age bullshit” than his brother. But he figured a tradition that was still popular thousands of years after its inception had to be getting something right.
It started with pain in his lower back. Hours cramped in the Impala wreaked havoc on Sam’s hips and hamstrings, and the now the pain was beginning to refer into the base of his spine.
Poor quality sleep wasn’t helping matters either. Despite coming back from The Cage over a year ago, Sam was still plagued with nightmares. Scenes, sounds and sensations so real and terrifying it jolted him awake, covered in a cold sweat. Some nights he wouldn’t even dream about The Cage. Often he’d see Jess still burning on the ceiling. Sometimes he’d have to watch Dean and his father being torn apart on a rack in Hell. But every time he tried to cry out their names not a sound came out.
Needless to say, nights of fitful sleep often left Sam weary and sore in the morning.
Determined not to resort to sleep medication or Dean’s knock out juice routine, the younger Winchester did some research. Sam had heard of yoga before, but he was surprised to learn their was more to it than celebrity moms in tight pants and bizarre chanting. It could boost your metabolism, lower blood pressure and improve posture and quality of sleep. Some studies even showed it could help prevent the onset of cancer.
Sam was sold.
Setting aside his comfiest pair sweatpants and his old purple dog t-shirt, he set his alarm an hour early to squeeze in a routine before breakfast.
The routine he’d chosen was a vinyasa yoga sequence. In vinyasa yoga, there’s a focus on synchronising movement to the breath. It’s also called flow yoga, because of the smooth way that the poses run together and become like a dance.
At first Sam was horrified at his lack of flexibility. He had serious doubts about whether or not the human body was supposed to bend that way. But by the end of the first week he was starting to get the hang of it. His uttanasana pose was improving (he could touch his ankles now). And nothing felt better than stretching out his aching back with a spinal twist.
But savasana was by far Sam’s favourite part of his yoga routine. Also known as corpse pose, he didn’t have to do anything but lay on his back, arms akimbo and breathe peacefully.
The instructions for this routine emphasised staying in this pose for as long as you like. Sam lay there in the early morning light, letting the rare moment of quiet wash over him. Breathing in deeply, and breathing out slowly. Sometimes he focused on blocking everything out and just feeling safe and relaxed in the moment. Other times he liked to imagine himself laying on a beach in the sun or walking through a lush green forest on a winter morning.
Two weeks after taking up yoga Sam slept soundly through the night for the first time in months.
That’s when he decided to focus more on the meditation aspect of yoga. He read about the religion of Samurai and their zen training of the mind. He was fascinated by how they were able to ‘solve themselves’ through the practice of meditation.
Very soon Sam was able to find tranquillity even in the dingiest of roadside motel’s.
If Dean noticed his new interest he didn’t say anything. Sam was usually up and making them coffee by the time he wandered out of the bedroom. But one morning, after a particularly long and deep medication session, Dean caught Sam in the living room. He was still sitting in half lotus, stretching his arms above his head as he began to drift back to reality.
They were standing in the kitchen sipping coffee.
“Ok then, let’s hear it. You get two gay jokes, one sexual innuendo and a few quips about creepy chanting, but that’s it. Any more and you get a smack.” said Sam, leaning back against the counter.
Dean rolled his eyes and set his cup down.
“Look, Sammy-” he said, encircling his hands around his brother’s waist, “-the urge to mock you is killing me, yes. But you’ve been through some awful shit. And their wasn’t always time to stop and work through that. So if this helps you, then I’m all for it.” Dean kissed him softly on the lips.
“But that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy bending you like a pretzel the next time we have sex.”