Work Text:
It was an old book. it's cover and edges tattered, part of it already destroyed. The print was dated, faded words visible everywhere. The book has three volumes and Dazai was at the end of it. Reaching the climax, eyes scanning through the printed paragraphs faster when suddenly the next page he flipped over to got torn off.
Dazai stopped reading and closed the book. It was the book that caused Odasaku to refuse killing back then. It was also the very reason of why Odasaku had his fancy little dream. Dazai had told himself to get over it already but he often find himself still in the guilt unable to save his dear friend. He finally found someone who understood him, yet he let him slip through his hands. Dazai blamed himself coming late on that day. If only, if only he had came sooner, he would not have to see Odasaku in a pool of blood.
But it was all too late.
Dazai stood up and adjusts his necktie properly. Bandages on and secured, he walked out of his room. He stopped when his gaze shifts over to the kotatsu, and remembered a memory that got implanted strongly in his mind. The day when he invited Odasaku and Ango to taste his 'Spirited Chicken Hotpot'. He chuckled lightly as he faintly remembered the taste of his old culinary masterpiece which sent them crawling on the floor after a few days. He and Odasaku were forced to hear Ango's complaints about missing work, ever the workaholic. Odasaku was not much help either since it was entirely Dazai's stupid idea to even invent a brand new dish with only-god-knows-what-ingredients he mixed inside.
He took a bouquet of white flowers he prepared since early morning before stepping out of his apartment and clicked his door shut. Dazai held the flowers and roamed through the busy streets which earned him suspicious looks from the passerby around him. Dazai, however, paid them no attention as he kept walking nonstop straight to his destination. Dazai was not planning to go work. Hell, he even ignored Mori's messages that has been buzzing on his phone since morning.
Dazai proceeded to walk down the stairs of an underground subway station. It was still very uncommon for him to use public transportations as he often gets his own personal escort from Mori. But even so, that does not mean that he is completely clueless. Back then, he always uses public transportations to go meet the rest of Buraiha in their usual meeting place.
As he awaits the train to arrive, his ears caught noises of children in hats and backpacks on their back chatting and laughing behind him. A painful reminder to the children Odasaku failed to save. Dazai quickly shook off their image just before his mind crosses what happened afterwards. Odasaku even think highly of those children and yet they all met the same fate as his dear friend.
The train arrived and the door opened. It was awfully empty since the place he was going to was far outside the city and barely anyone really goes there. Dazai stepped inside and the door closed as soon as the train started moving slowly on its planned journey. Dazai sat in the moving vehicle silently watching the dull scenery painted in black and white before him. Slowly the image started getting faster and faster before it got slower and stopped. And again, faster and faster. The world that Dazai currently sees are just a series of black and white. No matter how beautiful they are, they're just decorations in Dazai's hazy brown eyes.
Dazai was awake during the whole railway trip. The summer wind instantly hit his pale skin the moment he stepped outside of the train. His stop was silent. No people, nothing at all. It's as if the whole world belongs to him and only him alone. Dazai continued walking and was hiking up a lonely path going up to the hill just behind the station.
The weather was ferociously hot. Sweat started making their way sliding down his bandages but Dazai seemed to not care. He was wearing black attire which made him got even roasted below the scorching sun ball. He began panting and took notice that his flowers were slowly withering as well.
As he got closer to his goal, Dazai saw several new graves lined in a row. He did not stop until he saw a snowy white epitaph with no name carved on it. A strong sea breeze blows by and Dazai narrowed his eyes, the bouquet and trees making a rustling sound.
Dazai looked back. The wide blue ocean greeting him in such calm and soothing manner. This is what his friend wanted isn't it ? Dazai felt that at least, at least he could grant his one wish as a parting gift to Odasaku.
"The photo... I'll just put it here..."
Dazai took out one photo, placing it on the ground and put the white flowers beside it.
The photo shows the three of them, all looking to the camera, smiling happily.
The three people in the photo, in a moment where time has stopped, have smiles that never disappear carved onto them.
"I really wanted to let you try that hard tofu..."
Dazai shuts his eyes, standing in his original position, unmoving.
Dazai's words hustled through the grass, the rocks rolled down from the hills. Dazai finally made his mind up to quit the Mafia. Surely, Odasaku would be happy for him as well. Dazai looked up to the blue sky. A plane disappeared from his sight to the hidden clouds. But, faint traces of blurry lines of smoke were still there. Painting the endless blue sky a sinful white.
Dazai closed his eyelids shut.
"...Goodbye, my friend"
And he left without looking back.