Chapter Text
Castiel, please.
Jimmy was being quiet but still demanding, castiel could feel his anger although jimmy could not fully express it with Castiel using him as a vessel.
Castiel was stood outside, on the sidewalk of some corner in the dead of night, a few homeless people moving about but otherwise the night was silent.
“You made the choice, Jimmy. You chose to serve heaven.”
But my family! If I could just see them one more time.
“No. You are not permitted that. Seeing them will comprise not only them but you and I cannot, you cannot, serve heaven at full capacity. Don't make me repress you again.”
I'm begging you, Castiel. I- if I had known-
“I made sure you were fully aware of the choice you were making. I will not tell you again, be quiet.”
Castiel didn't have anywhere to be right now, he had not received any further orders and the Winchesters did not need his assistance so he had nothing better to do than argue with jimmy although it was becoming persistently redundant and annoying.
I miss them. Do you know how much I miss them? I remember we used to go to the park on Wednesdays, when it was sunny. Claire loved the slide the best and she'd never wait for me to be ready to catch her, she'd just go, but I'd get her every time. Brave little thing she is, she never needed any help. Then when she got older Amelia and i got her a bike, she learned how to ride the bike so fast, barely needed my help. Then we stopped going to the park and instead I would help her with her homework and she'd always know more than me but pretend like she didn't so it wouldn't make me feel bad. I miss them, I miss those moments, castiel, and I don't expect you to understand but you never get moments like that back. . . I'll never get that back. My family will never get that back.
Castiel blinked for the first time that night and looked down. He cleared his throat and looked up, looked in at Jimmy and saw his exhaust and defeat. Castiel knew he should feel bad, a human would feel bad, but he didn't, he couldn't afford to.
“Jimmy, I am truly sorry. This is the way things are, this is what you chose. Trust me on this though, when its time you will meet them again at the gates.”
You're not sorry, don't say that to me when you don't mean it. And I said yes because I trusted you, Castiel, and I still do.
And with that Jimmy fell silent, fell back to the shadows and repressed himself because he knew there was no changing Castiel’s mind. Castiel was right, Jimmy knew. He had chosen this so he had to deal with it.