in all directions, you are my final destination

Hi ! so... i'm sorry this took this long college is KILLING me. hope i can make it up with the length of this fic! i enjoyed writing this though something about park joonggil yearning for ryeon has got me so giddy that i hope it comes across in my writing. once again this is not proof read literally just finished it now and decided to post it since it's long overdue so please excuse the typos if there's any.

And yes, while this is the second part of the first fic i've written, you don't necessarily have to read it first to understand this one. though I'd suggest giving it a read before this one (as the other one was a ryeon focused pov while this one focuses on joonggil).

But other than that, please enjoy as much as I did mwehehehe

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“And years have passed since you faced the man that always showed you he loved you, and I fear I’m not that man anymore.”

It has been 28 days since Park Joong-gil was released from Hell, and exactly 24 days ever since he started working with the Risk Management Department to finish his punishment for going against the King of Hell, and within those 24 days that he’s working with them, he’s come to know absolutely nothing new about the head of the department.

He’s gotten to know how much Choi Jun-woong loved to talk and would keep talking for hours and not run out of anything to talk about, he’s gotten to know how expressive Lim Ryung-gu actually is when it comes to his thoughts, morals, and principles, yet the things that he knew about the boys didn’t even amount to the things that he knows about Ryeon.

He thought he had this all under control. But with how every member of the team is treating his demotion as something they refuse to acknowledge—and with how horrible his first ever field mission with them went along—he is now stuck in a situation wherein he and the team’s leader don’t talk to one another unless it is something work related.

The Joong-gil from one month ago expected this to be an opportunity he’d take control of, yet now all he felt was as if he was a misplaced puzzle piece in the system RM team’s trio have set up.

“On a scale of one to ten, how long do you think they’re going to keep ignoring each other?” Joong-gil suddenly heard Choi Jun-woong asking in the distance, making him look up as he finalized his finished report.

Koo Ryeon was currently out of the office. Joong-gil has quickly learned that even though they are finished with their mission, saving the victim doesn’t stop there for the Risk Management’s Team Leader, providing her own version of karma on shitty people is.

Everyone in the team knew that she wouldn’t be back for a few more hours, which is why they’ve gotten comfortable–a little too comfortable for the team’s youngest if Joong-gil were to speak.

“I don’t know, I’m not some kind of greater being that can predict the future, Jun-woong-ssi,” Joong-gil heard Ryung-gu respond, deadpan, very much focused on the work in front of him.

“Obviously, you can’t, hyung!” Jun-woong hurriedly exclaimed, suddenly furrowing his eyebrows, looking intensely at his Ryung-gu hyung. “But… is there some kind of device here in Jumadeung that does exactly that?”

Ryung-gu slowly turned his head toward Jun-woong, disbelief written all over his face.“Use your head, dimwit!” he scoffed. “If we had that we’d be out of a job.”

“…Fair point,” Jun-woong said, leaning back against his chair before looking at Ryung-gu again. “Going back to what I was talking about earlier though, do you think they’ll start talking again later?”

“Yah, you are a reaper of Risk Management, not a therapist in couple’s counselling,” Ryung-gu replied. “Focus on your work!”

Jun-woong frowned. “This is work though!” he reasoned. “I can’t focus when all that’s obvious is them dancing around one another as if it’d kill them to just talk!”

Ryung-gu’s eyes snapping towards Jun-woong, his eyes suddenly furrowed. “Want to say that louder so he’d hear?”

“...Too late,” Joong-gil muttered, already in front of Ryung-gu’s desk, placing a finished report on top of it, making the two young reapers look up at him.

“Park Timjangnim,” Ryung-gu cleared his throat. “Finished this already?” he asked and Joong-gil nodded in response, followed by silence that settled in the room—a norm that he seemed to face ever since he started working with the Risk Management Department.

Park Joong-gil had always been someone comfortable in the silence his presence seemed to bring whenever he would arrive—may it be with the Escort team, fellow Team Leaders, or with his cases; he was constantly reminded that he was acknowledged, and others saw him by just being there.

He loved having that kind of power, if Joong-gil were to be honest. But working with the Risk Management now made him realize that he hated it.

Typically, he would always feel wanted whenever people knew that he was present—may it be in any aspect—yet lately, all it’s made him feel was the opposite.

The Risk Management saw him, there’s no doubt in that. But it’s exactly that fact that the RM team sees him that makes things harder.

Because with them seeing his every move, it solidifies their sentiment of them not wanting him to be there.

Don’t get him wrong, Joong-gil shared the same feelings as them. Given that If he was given the opportunity to choose where he’d work off his punishment, he’d choose the Escort Team—the team that felt like second nature to him, the team that has become his priority for most of his time in the Afterlife.

But even with that mindset, it didn’t change the fact that he was trying within this department—the team that he had such a deep disdain for the moment it was formed, up until the moment he got all of his memories back (which he honestly still struggled to have a grasp on).

The Risk Management was something that always connected with him. He didn’t understand why or how before, but deep within his core, it just did. He tried to rationalize it by telling himself that it was this department’s fault for causing such a betrayal from one of the greatest employees in his team, but he always knew better.

Betrayal? Utter bullshit. He felt abandoned by one of the only people in Jumadeung that he felt comfortable with, that was what it was.

It was unreasonable at that time, so he masked it behind all the pent up anger that he didn’t quite understand. But now that he knew why he felt such emotions for her…

Joong-gil continued to stand in front of Ryung-gu’s desk as he reviewed the report he made. The Assistant Leader—who was uncharacteristically dense—looked up and nodded back at him.

Watching the exchange, Jun-woong scoffed in disbelief as he wheeled the chair he’s currently sitting on towards Ryung-gu’s desk.

“Idiot!” the youngest exclaimed. “He wouldn’t be handing you a report if it wasn’t finished yet, would he?”

“Aish, you brat,” Ryung-gu sneered, slapping the back of Jun-woong’s neck. “Who the fuck are you calling an idiot?”

Mouth agape, Jun-woong could only turn to his hyung with hurt written all over his face. “What the hell, this is abuse!” he cried, making the older of the two roll his eyes.

Awkwardly caught in the middle of everything, Joong-gil was about to go back to the office’s center table—which has currently become his makeshift desk for the time being—before being called out by Jun-woong.

“Park Joong-gil-nim,” he started, making Joong-gil turn back to the other two. “In all seriousness, when are the both you going to be talking again?”

Surprised, Ryung-gu once again turned to Jun-woong and hit the back of his neck—with more force this time. “Yah, just because Koo Timjang isn’t here to tell you off about this doesn’t mean that you can ask stupid questions!”

“This isn’t stupid! Like I said earlier, this is work related!” Jun-woong glared at the older reaper, before turning back to Joong-gil, his playful demeanor turning into something more serious. “You’ve been with us for almost a month now, yet I haven’t seen the both of you talk to one another ever since I was sent to the infirmary. And you aren’t even making an effort to talk to her! What’s up with that?”

Listening to the rambling that the youngest was on, Joong-gil couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, amused on how comfortable the boy he’s spent the most time with during his punishment; as if he’s forgotten the fact that he choked the younger right before he was sent to hell.

“Jun-woong-ssi, I’m here to work,” Joong-gil responded simply, bowing to the two boys, ready to go back to more work.

“And working on your relationship? You don’t want to do that instead?” Jun-woong asked, making Ryung-gu roll his eyes and turn back to his monitor.

Joong-gil just stared at the younger boy who was looking back at him, curiosity painted on his face, as if it was also a personal matter to him. And in all honesty, the older didn’t know how to respond to the question.

Every fiber in his being was screaming to say that he wants to do something about it. How could he not when all he was thinking about when he was in Hell was how he was going to fix everything with Ryeon. Clear up everything, start anew—just anything to bring himself back to her.

So when the Empress told him that he’d be working with his Koo Ryeon for the remainder of his punishment right after he was released from hell, even when his body wanted to fall to the ground, he found his feet bringing him to her office—the sight of her in front of him making all the pain and torment he’s faced this past month disappear.

He wanted to go to her, feel the warmth of her being in the palm of his hand once again, just like how she was right before he held her in his arms one final time; lifeless.

He wanted to see how heaven was doing—even after all the abhorrence and disdain it has had to endure in the face of Hell and every other person in between.

He wanted to close the distance that centuries have brought to them even when she’s always been at arms reach.

The countless gods Park Joong-gil knows of couldn’t even begin to imagine how looking at the answers to what he has wanted for so long brought to him such fleeting ease, something that he has not felt ever since the core of his soul died alongside the same answers he has constantly been seeking for.

Park Joong-gil has always been someone who used his freedom to his advantage, yet the realization that hit him right after that day of acting like someone who even he couldn’t recognize made the freedom he had feel like a restraint to what he desired.

“Did you even mean it when you said you understood this team now?” she asked.

Such a simple question, yet carried such a deeper meaning for the Team Leader Park.

He meant when he said in Hell, there was no room for doubt about it. Her motivations, her history—ending up in the Risk Management Department was always in the cards for Koo Ryeon.

But why did it have him second guessing what he said?

“Jun-woong, seriously, knock it off,” Joong-gil heard Ryung-gu speak up, making Joong-gil snap out of his thoughts.

“I’m just saying, hyung, he can’t expect Koo Timjang to be the one to approach him first,” Jun-woong stated, earning a raised eyebrow from Joong-gil.

“What are you talking about? She does,” Joong-gil answered. “She communicates with me whenever we’re on the field.”

Most probably to lessen the chances of having another incident of me scaring off a case…

“And I’m not talking about that,” Jun-woong responded right away, putting both his feet on Ryung-gu’s desk as he leaned back on his chair, making himself more comfortable.

RM’s Assistant Leader, completely unbothered by the younger’s antics, just let out a sigh. “Get your feet off my desk, Jun-woong-ssi,” Ryung-gu said, gaze still steady on his monitor.

Not paying attention to the man beside him, Jun-woong continues on, also unbothered by his friend’s command. “Well, tell me, Park Joong-gil-nim. Is work all that’s really between the both of you?”

Joong-gil scoffed. “She’s my workmate.”

“And she’s your wife. Two things can be true at the same time,” Jun-woong added, and before Joong-gil could even say anything else, Ryung-gu upon hearing what came out of the youngest’s mouth, shot him a pointed look as he shoved the boy’s feet off the desk, almost knocking him off balance.

“Yah, what?” Jun-woong exclaimed, clearly confused about his hyung’s actions.

Stacking up some files, Ryung-gu suddenly stood up and placed it on Jun-woong’s lap, earning a look of even more bewilderment from the younger.

“These are files to be sent to the Bookkeeping Department,” Ryung-gu started, spinning Jun-woong’s chair to the direction opposite of him, giving him space to stand up. “Since you have so much time on your hands you go and send these to them.”

“Aish, why me? You don’t want to catch up with your old coworkers or something?” Jun-woong whined, receiving a look from Ryung-gu, making him gulp.

“Yeah, you know what, I’ll go,” he added, awkwardly chuckling as he stood up. “See you guys later, I love you both!”

Bolting for the door, Ryung-gu could only shake his head, pinching the bridge of his nose, watching Jun-woong hurriedly exit the office.

Joong-gil watched the exchange between the two, and was honestly amazed by the duo. He would never admit it out loud, of course. But even back then when Jun-woong was just starting out, he could see how much he brought to the table—may it be another perspective or in most cases, chaos.

His friendship with Ryung-gu always stood out though. Given how observant he was when it came to Ryeon, Joong-gil seeing Jun-woong honestly like a puppy when it came to her was refreshing; annoying, but refreshing.

But with Ryung-gu, he was surprised. Given how the Assistant Leader is—someone closed off, barely had anyone he liked having around with the exception of Ryeon, clocks in and clocks out at the exact time he’s supposed to (though currently he enjoyed going overtime)—he never expected for the two to bond with one another to the point that they seemed like brothers.

He should find it distasteful, if Joong-gil were to be honest. Coming from a place where things are completely systematic and robot-like, this was the complete opposite of the workplace environment that he’s used to.

Yet, he doesn’t.

Just like with everything else lately that would cause Jumadeung’s Park Joong-gil to go berserk, he isn’t finding the things that used to irk him as unpleasant—and it was scaring him.

“You can’t let him speak to you in that manner, Timjangnim,” Ryung-gu said, making Joong-gil towards him.

“The kinds of conversation he’s engaging with you, those are the conversations you shouldn’t be having with others,” the Assistant Leader added.

Walking, Joong-gil snorted as he sat down on one of the seats for the center table, still facing Ryung-gu. “Did you make him leave so that you could converse with me instead?”

“What makes you think I’m interested in your situation with my Team Leader?” the younger of the two said, raising an eyebrow as he did. “I’m just saying that you should be having this conversation with her. Why you aren’t talking to one another, whatever problem that needs to be solved between the both of you—Choi Jun-woong and I don’t need to hear about it, but Koo Timjang most likely does.”

“...And if I don’t talk about it?” Joong-gil cautiously asked.

“Then expect that the both of you will remain this way,” Ryung-gu started. “Confused and awkward.”

Silence once again settled in the room, with Joong-gil lost in his thoughts.

For some reason, he just couldn’t bring himself to talk to her about it. He feared that if they talked to one another again it would end up in a conversation like the one they had in Hell.

Full of unspoken words, full of lies, full of sorrow that couldn’t be comforted.

He didn’t understand why they were this way, or more frankly, Joong-gil didn’t understand why he said the things he did.

He only went to her because of his pride? The moment he faced Ha Dae-soo, every ounce of rational thinking left his body—it was never about pride, it was an instinctual decision.

He knew that the moment he stepped foot on the roof top, he knew that the moment he was kneeling down on Hell's floors, he knew that from the very start.

He just doesn’t know why he ended up going the complete opposite direction of what he would’ve wanted.

He couldn’t even recognize himself when the words left his mouth in that exact circumstance—acting like the man Ryeon has familiarized with for the past few decades, only to fail miserably when all the overwhelming feelings of the man who has lost his wife flooded his heart the moment he heard her enter; blood not being the only thing passing through his veins, but the agony, longing, and grief it has held hidden for so long, making him weak for her in that very instance.

All he wanted was her, but all he did was act like he didn’t under the pretense that he shared the same thoughts as she did—care disguised as oblivion when it never should’ve been a disguise at all.

“Jun-woong was right earlier, you know,” Ryung-gu broke the silence, still focused on his monitor as he spoke. “You can’t expect Koo Timjangnim to be the one to approach you first regarding your relationship,” he added before turning towards Joong-gil. “Because she won’t.”

“How are you so sure?” Joong-gil asked despite already knowing what he was going to say.

Ryung-gu, however, only looked back at his monitor, his hands typing on his keyboard once again. “Because I’ve observed how she moves around you and she never speaks to you first unless it is for work.”

Joong-gil could only let out a sigh, slumping slightly in his seat, something unlike the Park Joong-gil image he’s set up for himself.

Lim Ryung-gu was right, he knew that. It was just…

“I don’t know how to act when I’m around her lately,” he said, and all he heard was a snort from the younger reaper making him look up. “Something funny, Lim Ryung-gu?” his eyes narrowed.

“Both you and Koo Ryeon-ssi are being stupid,” he said bluntly, eyes still glued to his monitor. “Just don’t act. Quit making your lives harder and start being true to yourselves. She should be the last person you should be having a performance for.”

“You act like it’s easy.”

“Because it is.”

Ryung-gu stopped typing, his eyes now focused on Joong-gil.

“You’ve known her for years,” he started. “Between the Land of the Living and Jumadeung, you’ve known her the longest. So this was never an issue about knowing her, but an issue of knowing yourself.”

Joong-gil tilted his head as his eyebrows furrowed. But right before he could say anything, Ryung-gu held his palm forward, stopping him. “Don’t.”

Seeing how Joong-gil was going to keep quiet, Ryung-gu placed his hand back down. “I see it, Timjangnim,” he said, “and she most probably does too.”

He paused for a second, tearing away his eyes from the older reaper as he settled his gaze on something in the room. “You aren’t who you were before, and you won’t ever be him again because you have something that the past you didn’t,” he continued on and Joong-gil could only let out a sigh as he heard the words that came out of the younger reaper’s mouth.

Ryung-gu wasn’t wrong. Lately, the Park Joong-gil had no sense of self.

To be who he was in the Land of the Living lifetimes ago, or to be who he has been these past few centuries, he found himself constantly wondering how he should move; and it drove him insane.

Having his memories back provided him with so much clarity that he wouldn’t trade the world for. It gave him answers to the questions that have kept him up at night for god knows how long. But along with it, came with one last question that his memories could not seem to give a solution to.

Where does this leave him now?

Years of chasing what he stole away from himself, and now that he’s got it back, he doesn’t know how to step forward.

In the past, he made this elaborate plan on what to do once he understood why he seemed to be the only one experiencing this amount of pain, yet after knowing that it wasn’t the case and that there’s someone else who’s hurting more than he is, all of those plans were thrown out the window.

He knew now that he was lost.

But despite not knowing where to go, he also knew one thing: Without the blindfold that he’s subjected himself to for years, it’s now clear how all roads lead to Koo Ryeon.

And with how things are going, he doesn’t know what to do about it.

“It’s obvious how you know what you want now though. Focus on that and you’ll eventually find yourself,” Ryung-gu spoke up again, resulting in Joong-gil’s eyes turning to him once again. “You’ve done it before, you can do it again.”

Joong-gil couldn’t help but scoff at his remark. “Don’t you ever get attacked by Koo Ryeon by saying things like that to her?”

“She wouldn’t attack me if what I’m saying is true, just like how you aren’t going at my throat right now because you know I’ve just voiced out what has been bothering you,” Ryung-gu replied, as he settled on giving some of his focus onto the work in front of him once again.

Joong-gil let out a short, humorless breath, his gaze fixed on the edge of the table and thumb grazing over it. “For someone who claims he doesn’t care about what’s going on, you’ve certainly said a lot.”

Ryung-gu didn’t bother looking up this time. “I care about work,” he replied evenly. “And Jun-woong was once again right earlier. The two of you acting like pathetic teenagers going through a lovers’ quarrel is affecting work. It throws off the group dynamics. And it’s been off ever since you’ve been handed off to us.”

Looking up, Joong-gil raised an eyebrow towards the younger. “Do you despise me being in the Risk Management team that much?”

“You aren’t good at the job,” Ryung-gu answered without pause, “and you’re wasting the advantage that was given to you by the Director. What is there not to dislike?”

Ryung-gu’s fingers stop typing on his keyboard.

“So if you’re going to be a drag on the field, the least you could do is pick up the slack with your relationship with her,” he added, fingers going straight back to work after he finished talking.

Joong-gil lets out a scoff at the younger’s answer.

Again, a new observation Joong-gil has had with Ryung-gu was the fact that he was blunt and always spoke what was on his mind. Though he's always been this way in the past, now that Joong-gil was working with the Risk Management, Ryung-gu has never held back on what to say towards him unlike before.

It was funny to see, if he were to be honest. He’s been observing how every member worked in the field, and as much as Ryung-gu and Ryeon shared the same traits outside of work, it was Ryeon and Jun-woong who shared the same ways when it came to dealing with compassion.

Ryung-gu’s compassion looked different from the other two when it came to someone that he personally knew. Joong-gil has seen first hand how Ryung-gu was when it came to their cases. He was gentler, more understanding and patient; but this was never the case if he personally knew you.

That was just how he was. Ryung-gu was just tougher on the people he knew, and as hard it is to understand, Joong-gil could see why—he knew the reasonability behind it.

Empathy and compassion isn't only found in the softness of words that people offer, it is also found in the roughness of their voice when the problem is starting to look awfully obvious that it's coming from within.

And given his current situation, Ryung-gu was the voice of reason that he needed to hear. Even when the way of him calling him out is something that would piss the Escort Team Leader off.

Good thing he currently wasn’t though.

“It’s tiring, walking on eggshells between the both of you, don’t you think?” Ryung-gu sighed, leaning back on his chair, staring at the ceiling.

He then looked back at Joong-gil, an exhausted look on the younger’s face evident. “So for the sake of the Risk Management Department, sort your shit out with each other. Please.”

It has been 30 days since Park Joong-gil has been appointed to the Risk Management Department, six days ever since he’s had that conversation with Lim Ryung-gu, and no progress with Team Leader Koo ever since.

Despite the talk that has given Joong-gil a tremendous amount of courage to talk to Koo Ryeon, he still found himself in instances where he’d end the conversations he has with the RM team’s Leader the moment he feels that she wants to walk away.

He felt pathetic. He knew he should be the one to approach her about it, he was told to do so.

Yet like a man with no money to his name, all he could do was stare, admire, and let the moments pass; unable to say anything when confronted by the beauty that he longs to be his—paradoxically wasting the most expensive currency that life could provide: time.

Approaching her was never supposed to take this long. He knew that, and Joong-gil was sure that others did too.

And maybe it was because of that thought that the Escort’s head smelled some sort of scheming from the Risk Management’s youngest when he suddenly whips up an envelope of cash, claiming that it was sent by the Empress for the team to spend on a fancy dinner in the Land of the Living later that night after working so hard these past few weeks in spite of everything that happened.

To be mad or joyful, Park Joong-gil didn’t know what to feel, all he knew was he needed to talk to her during the dinner once they were left to themselves (knowing that the other two might make his job easier for him with how unconventionally supportive they have been).

In the hours that crawled by since Jun-woong announced the dinner, Joong-gil felt the agony of how the clock’s hands seemed to not be moving at all, constantly checking his wrist watch again and again just to check if it had moved an inch since the last time he saw.

And when dinner came around, it was as if he was now telling time through an hourglass with a broken lower half, unable to tell how long of the occasion he had left—thoughts scattered like sand, not knowing where to start cleaning up.

Staring at her now was like staring at earth from space—every part and crevice of her being seen, but the window towards home too far from reach.

Talk to her.

Say something.

Damn it, Park Joong-gil, just do something!

“Hyung! Hyung! Come back to Jumadeung with me!” Joong-gil suddenly heard from beside him, Jun-woong looking across from him—at Ryung-gu—with a pleading look while clutching his stomach.

Alarmed, Ryeon looks at her subordinate, eyebrows furrowed. “What’s going on?” she asked, obviously alarmed.

“My stomach hurts!” the youngest whined dramatically, resulting in Ryung-gu rolling his eyes.

“No shit, idiot. You’ve eaten at least half of the menu here,” Ryung-gu sighed, jerking his head back towards the bathroom in the restaurant. “Use the bathroom here, why do you want to go back to Jumadeung when you look like you’re about to pop?”

Without missing a beat, with his free hand, Jun-woong reached out to Ryung-gu’s. “I need to go back because I forgot something back there!” he expressed, eyes suddenly growing serious. “I need you because you also seem to be forgetting something, Ryung-gu-ssi?”

Joong-gil caught it. The not so subtle exchange from the two boys that without a doubt Ryeon most likely have caught as well.

Ryung-gu’s eyes slightly widening, Jun-woong squeezing his hyung’s hand, both slowly nodding to one another as if to signal each other.

They weren’t even trying to hide it anymore and Joong-gil didn’t know if he was to be thankful for the two or annoyed with how they were trying to involve themselves in a personal matter.

Sensing what the other two were trying to do, Ryeon lets out a scoff. “Should we just end dinner here then?”

Jun-woong boosted up from his chair, profusely shaking his head. “No!” he yelled out. “I ordered dessert and wine. You and Park Joong-gil-nim should wait for it!”

Joong-gil suppressed a sneer that he felt was about to draw on his face.

Dessert and wine, is this kid serious…

Remaining silent, Park Joong-gil glances over to Ryeon and sees how she’s about to stand up, face sour, fingers curled up into a fist.

Planning to reach out, Joong-gil was about to open his mouth to say something but then Jun-woong suddenly went to Ryung-gu’s side, trying to hoist him up from his chair.

“Calm down! I’m getting up!” Ryung-gu hissed while Jun-woong continued to pull him out.

“Ryung-gu hyung I need to go now!”

“Aish, this brat,” Ryung-gu sighed, turning to Ryeon to bow and bid farewell.

“Yah, Lim Ryung-gu, Choi Jun-woong–”

“Ma’am, we’ll go ahead,” Ryung-gu smiled, bowing down, ignoring the look on his boss’ face. “Please enjoy the rest of the dinner, hm? Love you.”

Not waiting for a reply, Jun-woong pulled his hyung, rushing to get out of the restaurant, only briefly turning back to tell Ryeon that the bill was already paid for and shouting out an ‘I love you’ to her and Joong-gil before completely disappearing from view, leaving the two reapers—stunned and silent.

“I’m sorry about them,” Ryeon spoke up, making Joong-gil shake his head.

“No, no, it’s fine,” he said with a small smile on his face.

Silence followed again—neither one of them wanting to speak. The restaurant’s noise filling in the empty space they’ve made for themselves. They stayed that way until the waiter came to their table and served them their dessert.

Ice cream sundae in hand, Joong-gil notices a small piece of folded paper underneath his cup.

With furrowed brows, he takes it off, carefully unfolding it under the table, making sure Ryeon doesn’t see it.

As he scanned the little note, he couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.

Choi Jun-woong you little punk…

The note read:

Park Joong-gil-nim, the Escort Team Leader in you would be so disappointed right now if he saw you right now. Why are you being such a coward?

Take the initiative already! Make use of the remaining time of the dinner, okay? hwaiting!

Love, Choi Jun-woong.

Observing his surroundings, Joong-gil knew that the other two were 100% out of the establishment and what was given to him was a premeditated note, but with how it sounded, it was as if they were still in here with him.

Park Joong-gil hated being rushed, he hated nagging, if he were faced with these antics by the boys (or just Choi Jun-woong if he were to be honest) three months ago, he would’ve reported them to the Director, might’ve even taken matters into his own hands.

But then again, he wouldn’t even be found having dinner with the Risk Manager’s Team Leader three months ago, which is all the reason why he didn’t find it in him to be angry at them.

Note still in hand, Joong-gil’s eye couldn’t help but linger on the words written.

Why are you being such a coward?

…Why?

Why am I such a–

“Ryeon-ah.”

Ryeon looked up, spoon still in her mouth, looking at Joong-gil still had his eyes on the note, trying to muster back up the courage that he’s been building these past few days that disappeared the moment he called out her name.

“I… I apologize for the carelessness I showed during the first case I handled in the Risk Management Department,” he said, his eyes slowly looking up to meet her gaze.

Unbothered, Ryeon just nodded, scooping up a spoonful of vanilla ice cream from her cup. “You learned. It’s fine,” she then lets out a sigh, looking at Joong-gil, expression unreadable. “We’re still working now, aren’t we?”

Joong-gil slowly nodded at her response. “Right. But…”he let out a breath. “I should also apologize for not talking to you as much as I should have these past few days...”

I was too scared to say the wrong thing and end up driving you away even more.

“I… didn’t notice,” Ryeon said, eyes now glued to her cup. “Nothing to be sorry for.”

Joong-gil frowned.

“Ryeon-ah, I’m sorry,” he apologized again—louder, clearer, and more sure than when he spoke moments before.

Looking at the man in front of her, Ryeon could only let out another sigh, setting her spoon on top of her glass. “Why do you keep asking me for forgiveness on things you don’t need to apologize for?” she asked, the pitch in her voice slightly changing—something that Joong-gil had constantly been avoiding on trigger out of fear.

Noticing that the thing he feared was evident in the conversation, Joong-gil slightly leaned forward. “Koo Timjang, no– it’s—” frustrated at how the words tumbled out of his mouth, he closed his eyes, letting out a steady breath throughout his mouth and opening his eyes again, his focus still on Koo Ryeon. “I’ve been trying to talk to you about this for weeks now, and–”

“Park Timjangnim, seriously, it’s fine,” Ryeon suddenly cut in, a clipped smile on her face as he gestured back to the ice cream on the table that was slowly melting away as they spoke. “Just eat your ice cream, hm? Let’s not talk about this.”

“No,” Joong-gil answered in an instant, the smile on Ryeon’s face disappearing just as quickly.

“No?”

“No,” he responded again, shaking his head to match it, the little piece of paper in the palm of his hand slowly being crumpled and dropped.

He then settled both of his hands on top of the table, right where she could see it. “Can we not shut this down anymore?” he asked, tone quieter this time. “Please?” he whispered, voice wavering a little. “This has been killing me...”

“Park Joong-gil-ssi–”

“Ryeon, please.”

Like air that flows on a midnight shore came Joong-gil’s plea. He was never one to beg, yet in the presence of Koo Ryeon he would for a thousand million times.

The restaurant’s lights seemed dimmer, the people around them slowly blurring, there was nothing that could stop him now—how could there be anything that would?

How could there be anything else that stops him when the conflict that’s drawn in her face can only be erased by the words that had been carried in his eyes the whole time?

“I love you,” he paused. “I still love you.”

Shaking her head, Ryeon’s gaze tore away from Joong-gil. “Don’t,” she muttered. “You’re just saying that because the memories that came back to you are still fresh.”

She refused to meet his eyes. Not now, not yet. And stubborn like always, Joong-gil carefully raised his hand towards her chin, guiding her back until their eyes met again, letting his hand fall back onto the table once sure that she wouldn’t turn away for a second time.

“I’m not doing this because of my memories,” he said softly. “And even if that was the case, it doesn’t change the fact that they’re mine and something that’s precious to me. Something that should have never been locked away when the mere absence of you was painful itself.”

“Don’t make me go through this, Park Joong-gil.”

“And it was wrong of me to lock them away when it resulted in me subjecting you to the pain that I should have faced,” he continued, ignoring the warning, guilt slowly occupying his face as he thinks back to the moment he talked to the Empress so she could seal away his memories.

Still looking into her eyes, he saw the flicker of pain his words stirred, and it tore him. He hated himself for being the one to cause it. But he knew that it needed to be said and so he let himself carry the weight of what he had broken, his own eyes welling with tears instead of hers.

“You couldn’t have known what would happen…” she replied quietly but Joong-gil didn’t agree with that sentiment.

“You had already gone through so much…” he said, his voice starting to break. “And to think of how much worse I made it–”

“That’s not something you should feel bad about–”

“Yes it is something I should feel bad about!” Joong-gil whispered, not too loud but firm. “Just thinking about the things I did to you physically pains me, Ryeon.”

Joong-gil’s tears slowly streamed down his face, his hand curling into a fist. “And not a day will pass that I won’t repent for the things I’ve done to you.”

It was Ryeon who shook her head this time, her hands bolting towards Joong-gil’s, her fingers pressed gently against his clenched fists, unclenching it slowly, massaging the areas where his nails had left faint marks. “Joong-gil-ssi… seriously, stop…”

Joong-gil inhaled shakily, his fingers loosening beneath hers as if her warmth had reached straight into his chest and pried something open. “My actions may have spoken in ways that were hurtful, but I hope you know that even without my memories, I still loved you back then as well.”

Slowly, he took Ryeon’s hand into his, admiring how perfectly it still fits. Carefully, he let his thumb run over her knuckles, looking up to see if she would pull away.

She didn’t.

He could only chuckle as he brought their hands closer to him.

“It may not have been in here…” he leaned forward, guiding her hand to touch his temple. “But deep down, it was the voices in here that screamed what has truly been for you,” he whispered, now bringing her hand down to his chest, looking at her the whole time until he could feel her palm settle on him.

“I was just stupid to not listen to it.”

Joong-gil continued to look at her, the hand on his chest stable, her lips wavering, nose slowly turning red, and her eyes… oh god her eyes.

Her eyes that remained locked on her hand, her eyes that shined under the restaurant’s lights, her eyes that had been colored red with the love that he held for her a lifetime ago.

Her eyes that were for him and only him.

“And years have passed since you faced the man that always showed you he loved you, and I fear I’m not that man anymore,” he paused. “Nor am I the man who was waiting for your team to fail.”

“Then who are you now, Joong-gil-ssi?” Ryeon asked, eyes gazing into Joong-gil’s tear-pooled ones.

Joong-gil slowly took Ryeon’s hand away from his chest. “Fuck I… I don’t know who I am,” he let out a dry laugh. “Having the answers to everything I questioned about myself has been something I’ve wanted for so long, I expected that it would solve everything.”

“And did it?”

He shook his head. “Not entirely. The ease I felt this past month… it was just temporary. I still can’t sleep at night,” he quietly admitted. “I still can’t sleep at night knowing that I have so much love to give you,” he then took her hand into his again, bringing it up to his cheek, closing his eyes as he leaned into her touch. “And the lords know how much I want you to love me too.”

Slowly, Joong-gil could feel Ryeon’s hand start to move, he was about to hold it firmer, but then he felt her stroking his cheek. “And what you said in Hell? That you moved because of your pride?” she asked in a hush tone.

“I don’t know why I said that,” Joong-gil leaned closer into her touch. “Going to the rooftop and rescuing you from Ha Dae-soo-nim was a spur of the moment choice, but I would do it a million more times if asked to,” he then opened his eyes, looking at Ryeon’s that was now filled with tears. “It was never because of my pride, it was always because of you.”

Silence followed after that. Ryeon had looked away, but her hand was still with Joong-gil.

He didn’t rush her to speak, he just continued to look at her. Like how the day waits for the sun to rise, like how the moon waits for the tides, he waited.

And when she finally looked back, her voice came back barely above a whisper. “I know what to ask of you Joong-gil-ssi,” she said, voice wavering. “But it’s so hard for me to say it out loud, especially after everything we’ve gone through.”

Her tears didn’t stop. Joong-gil wiped them away with his free hand, catching each one before it could fall with the precision and focus that was innate to him.

“We don’t need to have everything sorted out right away,” he said gently. “All I ask from you is to know that it’s still you,” he brushes his thumb carefully on her cheek, a small smile appearing on his face. “I want you to know that I continue to choose you now, and not just because of our past.”

Ryeon continued to look at him and Joong-gil slowly lowered his hand that was on her face. “We’ve missed the opportunity to grow old together, and there’s no one else to blame except fate,” he remarked. “But even then, it’s made up by giving us an opportunity to continue growing one another for eternity,” he paused. “And that’s something that I want to do with you.”

“Joong-gil-ssi…” Ryeon breathed out.

Sitting up straight, Joong-gil carefully moved Ryeon’s hand that was on his cheek in front of them, lowering it down on the table, intertwining his fingers with hers.

“I want to do it with you. Not your husband from the Joseon era, most definitely not the jerk of a boss who made shit difficult for you,” he huffed, resulting in a laugh from Ryeon. “But me. The Park Joong-gil in front of you tonight, the one who has no idea what the future holds, and the one laying his heart bare right in front of you tonight.”

It has been 82 days since Park Joong-gil had started working with the Risk Management Department, 52 days ever since that night in the restaurant, 45 since he and Koo Ryeon had finally let themselves be comfortable in each other’s presence in the walls of Jumadeung, and with all the time that has passed since, Joong-gil has never been happier.

100 more days until the Escort Team could get their leader back, yet with the way he had been roaming the halls of the company, it’s as if he’s exactly where he wants to be.

Work that kept him close to Koo Ryeon—that was Joongil’s version of winning the lottery.

He was now being trusted with more work in the Department, he didn’t scare their cases as much anymore, and on cases that the team needed to be doing some roleplay, he’d always end up being the Team Leader’s lover—exactly the kind of lottery that Joong-gil was talking about.

His relationship with Ryeon may not have changed drastically from how it was before, but there were still slight changes. And with how the team has been busy for the past few days, that was enough.

They weren’t exactly at the point of casual affection yet, and Joong-gil still couldn’t bring himself to call her buin yet, but they’ve come back to being each other’s haven.

Running to one another when the work of the afterlife had become too much, seeking comfort in one another like how plants look at the sun for strength, guidance, and a chance to become better.

Currently, Park Joong-gil and Koo Ryeon were cooped up in the Risk Management office, working beside one another on the department’s center table, laptops and files scattered, the clock’s hand standing dangerously close to midnight as they finished the needed reports for their recent case—an eleven year old boy that’s life had been controlled by his parents—that were to be submitted the next day.

It was a heart breaking case, watching someone so young reach 99% on the red light app… For the first time, Joong-gil felt the weight of the cases handled by the department. And given how worn out they all were, he really couldn’t blame Ryeon for sending the other two boys home early.

He was meant to leave as well. But he couldn’t.

He just couldn’t bring himself to walk away and leave his Team Leader alone. So he stayed—head resting against her shoulder, eyes fighting to stay open, Ryeon’s free hand massaging his temple as the other continued to type on her laptop.

“Joong-gil-ah, I told you to go home already,” she said, voice gentle but firm, not one that scolded, but not one that left room for arguments either.

Joong-gil on the other hand, leaned closer instead, the fabric of her coat cushioning his cheek. “I’m working,” he murmured.

“Of course you are,” Ryeon said as she rolled her eyes, gaze never leaving her screen.

A quiet beat passed, Joong-gil careful not to move too much so that he wouldn’t disturb her.

The moment stayed like that for a while, the male reaper almost falling asleep, but then a thought had suddenly started scratching his brain. An itch that wasn’t going to go away easily.

“Ryeon-ah,” Joong-gil called out, eyes looking up at her face that was still focused on work.

“Hm?”

“Is Ruhan…” he paused. “Is Ruhan going to be okay?” he asked, voice growing smaller at the end making Ryeon look at him for a second.

“Red light app says he’s okay,” she replied calmly. “He was much happier when we left, and you,” she turns to Joong-gil, tapping his cheek, going back to her laptop right after. “You scared the living shit out of his parents.”

Joong-gil could only let out a sad smile at what she added.

Cases involving kids in their line of work had never been easy. It never was, and never will be. How could it be when you have been given front row tickets to watch a sprout be trampled by death? Seeing it grow small when it should grow taller, watching it wither even when nurtured?

It wasn’t like Park Joong-gil hadn’t had any cases that involved kids. As sad as it sounds, he has escorted thousands of kids every month. And no matter how many times he does it, it never gets easy.

“Have you ever had similar cases to this one?” Joong-gil curiously asked, earning an earnest hum from the female reaper.

“One that surrounded kids?”

Joong-gil nodded.

“Cases with older kids aren’t uncommon,” she replied. “But Yang Ruhan… Yang Ruhan is the youngest we’ve received so far. First one at an elementary level.” Ryeon frowned as she finished talking.

If there’s one thing that Joong-gil has learned in the Risk Management Department, it was that you never get used to the cries of the people who were tired of screaming.

Nothing of the work in the RM team could compete with the work he’s done with his very own department. The training done before becoming an appointed reaper was suited for the Escort Team. But when it came to the Risk Management Team? All preparatory training is thrown out the window.

Reapers aren’t taught to talk to people who are about to jump into the unknown.

Reapers aren’t taught to watch what is said when silence has always been praised.

Reapers aren’t taught to save people.

Yet day after day for the past 82 days Park Joong-gil has had to witness how words were treated like treasure, hands were meant for warmth, and silence became an enemy.

Everything that Jumadeung had no book to guide him through what to do.

“You know, I lied in hell,” he said quietly, looping his hand around her arm, giving it gentle squeezes as he spoke.

“Yes you did,” Ryeon said simply, squeezing Joong-gil’s looped hand around her while still working on the case in front of her.

“I lied when I said that I understood the Risk Management Team,” Joong-gil straightened up on his seat. Looking at Ryeon this time, making her stop typing and look back at him.

She raised an eyebrow, puzzled. “Why are you bringing this up now?”

“I keep thinking back to the question you asked me,” he continued, voice low, almost hesitant. “When you asked if I meant it. If I really understood the RM team.”

“Hm…” she hummed, subtly nodding—encouraging him to go on.

“When we talked about it back then, I genuinely thought I did,” Joong-gil admitted. “Because with everything I know now with what happened, why you did it, how it affected you after…” he looked down. “I thought I finally understood people who choose to end their own lives.”

Joong-gil suddenly looked away. “But I don’t. I just had a biased understanding… because it was you.”

Silence settled in the room for a second—not the kind that felt suffocating, but the gentle one that waited with patience that never rushes.

Feeling Ryeon’s hand on top of his fingers that clung onto her arm, Joong-gil looked at the hold that they had on each other, a weak smile appearing on his face. “Now that I actually got the opportunity to work with the people who plan on taking away their lives and seeing the things they were about to leave behind… I feel like I’m back to square one, confused on how they could just give up,” he revealed, frowning slightly while his gaze flickered from Ryeon and the floor.

“And just thinking about Ruhan… the boy didn’t even know,” he added, voice barely coming out as a whisper. “He couldn’t even comprehend what he was about to give up. All he wanted was to stop crying everyday,” he slowly looked back up to meet her gaze. “You heard him say that, right?”

“Yang Ruhan’s case was always going to be hard because of how young and innocent he’s supposed to be,” Ryeon spoke carefully. “That’s the expectation that society has for kids,” slowly, Ryeon leaned her head on Joong-gil’s shoulder, removing his hand from her arm. “And remembering what we saw with Ruhan, talking about death like it was going to make things easier, it went against our already conditioned minds. Not meeting the expectation that was expected from him. And when faced with something like that, it’s always going to hurt.”

Ryeon looked up at the ceiling before speaking again. “That’s the exact thing that the Risk Management wants to avoid. Expecting from the people we talk to in the Land of the Living. Not to avoid disappointing ourselves, but for the people at risk. To not add any more burden than they get from just living,” she paused for a quick moment then let out a sigh. “Our team doesn’t need your full understanding, it just needs you to have an open mind. One that could adapt and learn from the hard situations we are faced with everyday.”

Koo Ryeon, while looking at their brushing arms, suddenly took Joong-gil’s hand, interlocking their fingers, looking at it while she spoke. “I never expected you to understand the RM team right away anyway,” she continued, her fingers gently pushing down on his knuckles in a rhythmic pattern. “You also dealt with a lot, and I know how hard it was for you…” she whispered, leaning into Joong-gil even more. “I heard how hard it was for you.”

She then closed her eyes, letting out a dry laugh. “This isn’t something easy to grasp, even I sometimes fail to do so.”

“Did your choice ever get easy for you to accept?” he asked, looking at her.

“I never regretted it if that’s what you’re talking about,” she answered. “My death… there was only one thing I hated about it.”

“What is it?”

She opened her eyes, looking at him, voice coming out small. “I hated how it affected you.”

Joong-gil felt his chest tighten the moment the words left her mouth, his fingers curling around hers ever so slightly. One thing that he may have realized is how much Ryeon was willing to sacrifice for him just for him to live comfortably.

He had killed for her, but she had also died for him. Both done for each other’s best interest, yet harming one another in ways they wouldn’t have expected.

But looking back, Joong-gil couldn’t bring himself to feel any remorse for the men that had spoken ill about Ryeon. He would’ve done it again if he was faced in that same situation—even when his actions haunted his amnesiac self for so long.

Lifting their tongues against his wife to be met with ripping out their throats. A fair deal if you asked the male reaper.

And that was the thing that Koo Ryeon and Park Joong-gil had in common. They didn’t regret the actions they did when it came to the best thing of the other.

Staring at Ryeon, Joong-gil just couldn’t help but ask. “Would you have done it again?”

It took a while before she responded. Joong-gil didn’t want to force an answer out of her anyway, but seeing how she straightened up with a small smile on her face, it was all the answers Joong-gil needed.

Slowly, she leaned in towards him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Start helping me with the work now, hm?” she removed her hand from his, turning back to her laptop. “I’d like for us to actually get some sleep.”

Joong-gil could only nod, opening his laptop that has been idle for god knows how long.

It has been 147 days since Park Joong-gil had started working with the Risk Management Department, and he finally found his footing in the team.

For the months that he had been working in the team, it wasn’t until now that he truly felt like he brought something to the table. Yes, he had carved a space out for himself earlier, but it wasn’t until now that he had finally become useful to the team—even earning praise from Lim Ryung-gu which he never expected to receive from the younger, and most especially never expected to feel some validation from it.

He had always wondered how the team could function so well even when they were a team that lacked personnel, but with the experience that he’s had with the team so far, it was clear as day why they worked so well. The understanding and respect that they had for one another, the trust they gave each other without even saying a word, Joong-gil could even argue that Risk Management’s team dynamics were better than the Escort Team’s; but of course, he would never admit that out loud.

And of course the team chemistry that the RM team had didn’t only limit itself to work, with the amount of bickering and “I love yous” the boys had thrown out to each other and Koo Ryeon, working with the department, started feeling like a family business rather than work.

“We’ll be back in an hour or two, everyone,” Ryeon said as she put her coat on to get ready for a trip to the Land of the Living. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“She’s specifically talking about you, Choi Jun-woong,” Ryung-gu teased, pinching the youngest’s face, earning a snarl from the latter.

“Yah!” Jun-woong exclaimed, swatting the older man’s hand away, earning a snort from Ryeon.

“No, that goes for Joong-gil too,” she added, eyes flickering to Joong-gil.

Joong-gil looked up at her, eyebrows furrowed, a slight frown on his face. “Yah.”

“Aish, just stop nagging, you two!” Jun-woong complained. “We’re grown men. Park Joong-gil-nim’s been working with us for months now, and I’ve been here for almost a year you know.”

Ryung-gu blinked. “That is not the gotcha moment that you think it is.”

“Awww, why blame that on me?” Jun-woong asked, cupping his own face while looking at his two bosses, a smile tugging on his lips as he did so. “It’s not my fault the Empress thinks I’m too cute to keep around!” he added, slowly blinking at the two, Joong-gil failing to resist a scoff.

The Risk Management Team was currently in the process of closing up a case, but with all the issues caused by the variables affecting their victim, Ryeon and Ryung-gu were on the way to the Land of the Living to get it all sorted out, leaving Joong-gil and Jun-woong to start the paperwork that needed to be submitted and to start on the disciplinary reports that never seem to disappear.

Ryeon and Ryung-gu share a look with one another before looking back at Jun-woong—Ryung-gu shaking his head disapprovingly, and Ryeon rolling her eyes.

“Shameless,” Ryeon muttered, loud enough for the youngest reaper to hear.

Jun-woong’s hands dropped to his side as he frowned. “You don’t think I’m cute, Timjangnim?”

“Yah, are you not afraid of the things that come out of your mouth?” Ryung-gu questioned, a look of sheer judgement written all over his face.

As the other two bickered, Joong-gil approached Ryeon who was busy sorting through her bag. As she looked up to look at him, Joong-gil stepped closer, straightening the ruffles of her coat.

Ryeon raised an eyebrow at the gesture, smirking. “What’s this?”

“Just doing something good for my team leader,” he responded, still focused on buttoning up Ryeon’s coat properly, eyes never leaving the garment as he spoke.

“This is seemingly intimate for us to be doing during office hours, Reaper Park,” Ryeon said softly, and Joong-gil didn’t need to see her to know she was smiling. When he looked up, he was then met with what he had expected, her smile meeting his eyes.

He smiled back. “Since when did you ever care so much about those things, Ryeon, hm?” he asked, playfully raising an eyebrow at her as he caressed her shoulders. “You let those boys tell you they love you and I can’t make sure that your clothing is in pristine condition once you step out of the company?”

Ryeon scoffed, eyes sharpening as it pierced through Joong-gil’s. Even without her saying anything, he knew what she wanted to say, and Joong-gil couldn’t help but chuckle and quickly leave a soft kiss on her forehead.

During their process of reconnection, physical touch has always been something that they have been comfortable to do with one another and something that came back to them in a way that didn’t end in awkwardness, but rather leaned into something more familiar, like being welcomed by the warm comfort of your home after being away for so long—something that hit too close to the hearts of the lovers.

After four centuries of living without the touch of one another, it would have been foolish of them not to finally give into something they had always wanted back. And a fool for one another is simply different from being a fool in general.

“Ah, Joong-gil-ah, I’m going to go now!” she exclaimed, slowly pushing Joong-gil away who seemed to not be paying any attention to other things but Ryeon’s presence—just smiling at the woman in front of her.

“You be careful up there, Ryeon, okay?” he said, tone gentle. “Don’t worry about Choi Jun-woong-ssi and I, we’ll be fine here.”

Ryeon nodded at the assurance given to her, smiling back at Joong-gil. Taking a step forward, the Risk Management’s Team Leader is greeted once again by the younger reapers’ bickering.

Seeing how distracted the other two still are, Ryeon swiftly turns back to Joong-gil, placing a hand on his cheek as she places a soft swift kiss on the opposite side, the male reaper’s eyes widening slightly.

“We’ll get going now, hm?” she stroked her hand on his cheek, and before he could say anything else, the warmth from his face disappeared, fleeing as quickly as it came, with Ryeon now turning back towards her other subordinates who now seemed to be in a wrestling contest. “Lim Ryung-gu, let’s go now,” she spoke, unbothered by the duo's antics.

Ryung-gu quickly nodded at his boss’ voice, releasing Jun-woong from a head lock. Despite the sour look on the youngest’s face earlier, it was now nowhere to be found, replaced with a sweet smile as he bowed at Ryeon.

“Have a safe trip to the Land of the Living!” he said cheerfully, then looking at Ryung-gu with a grin. “Ryung-gu hyung, don’t forget my gummies!”

“Grown man, he says,” Ryung-gu retorted before earning a hug from the younger. “Aish, Jun-woong-ah!”

“I love you hyung!” Jun-woong exclaimed happily as he got pushed away by Ryung-gu as he began to step out of the room. Seeing Ryeon pass by his area, Jun-woong was about to reach in for a hug but gets stopped before he could even take a step forward.

“No,” Ryeon said simply.

Jun-woong just laughed sheepishly, one hand reaching the back of his neck. “I love you too Timjangnim!”

As the other two exited the room, Jun-woong went back to his seat, huffing a bit as he saw the files on his desk, looking a bit unsure on where to start. Walking towards Joong-gil’s own desk (the one Jun-woong begged the Director to give him four months in Joong-gil’s stay with the department), the older reaper couldn’t help but keep staring at the younger.

Eyes locked intensely on Jun-woong, RM team’s rookie couldn’t help but notice the attention that Joong-gil has given him.

Staring back at the older, Jun-woong tilted his head, eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you looking at me like you’re about to choke me again?”

“Why are you still here?”

Joong-gil didn’t answer right away. But when he did, Jun-woong couldn’t help but erupt in laughter.

“Awww!” Jun-woong gushed, a big smile on his face. “Are you concerned about me, Park Joong-gil-nim?”

Joong-gil rolled his eyes. “You really are shameless, Choi Jun-woong-ssi.”

Jun-woong chuckled. “Look, in all seriousness, I don’t know,” the younger answered honestly. “The Empress just told me that my business in Jumadeung isn’t done yet. That the six months wasn’t enough.”

Joong-gil just nodded at the younger’s response. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t wonder why the RM team’s rookie was still in Jumadeung even after his punishment in Hell—still happily working as if going back to the Land of the Living was a second thought for him.

Thinking thoughtfully, Jun-woong suddenly leaned on his desk. “Park Joong-gil-nim,” he called out. “Can I ask you a question?”

Joong-gil turned away. “Please don’t,” he murmured.

“How are you and Koo Timjang?” he asked casually, completely ignoring the older reaper’s evasive reply. “Are you planning to renew your marriage?”

Joong-gil’s eyebrows furrowed, still not looking towards Jun-woong’s direction, busying himself with a file on his desk.

But even with Joong-gil’s silence, Jun-woong continued on. “You guys are technically still married, right?”

Joong-gil finally looks at the young reaper, eyebrows still furrowed, mouth lightly agape, eyes full of judgement.

“What? It’s a totally valid question!” Jun-woong countered, earning an eye roll from Joong-gil.

Joong-gil was never the type to show his distaste for something on his face—he was never usually this expressive. Not now, not even back when he was a mortal. He had a stone cold front, just one look or a pause enough for others to know when he didn’t like something. But something about Choi Jun-woong’s ignorance to other people’s reaction when his curiosity piqued always drew a raw reaction out of Joong-gil.

Most people found it annoying (he and most people that the boy manages to piss off) but the more time he spent with him, the more he started to see the appeal of the rookie’s stubborn inquisitiveness.

And looking at the genuine interest that the younger man was showing right now, Joong-gil couldn’t help but let out a sigh as he tiredly pinched the bridge of his nose.

“We’re taking things as they come,” he answered simply.

Jun-woong scoffed in disbelief, his eyebrows turn to be furrowed. “What kind of PR training answer is that?” he asked shamelessly.

Aish, this kid, I swear…

“It’s a genuine one,” Joong-gil replied firmly, eyes boring into Jun-woong’s. “We have four hundred years to catch up on, and an eternity to do so. There’s no need to rush something that’s already survived time itself.”

With how straightforward his answer had been, Joong-gil fully expected for Jun-woong to finally stop. Go back to working and change the subject to one of the webtoon’s he’s been recently reading (because for some reason the younger had found immense joy in sharing the things he has been reading with Joong-gil).

So when he saw Jun-woong nodding along as he spoke, Joong-gil’s eyes flickered back to his file, ready to work.

But then in total Choi Jun-woong style, he spoke again, humming as his face looked like it was still racking his brain for questions.

“Are you happy with how things are currently, Park Joong-gil-nim?”

Of course he wasn’t finished yet…

“I thought you only wanted to ask one question,” Joong-gil said dryly, his body hunched over the file, but eyes back to Jun-woong who just shrugged.

“What’s stopping you from answering this one?” the younger asked which stopped Joong-gil in his tracks, his grip on the file tightened slightly as he thought of what to say.

“I don’t find you or this department as enraging anymore,” Joong-gil replied softly, turning a few pages of his file. “Take that as you will,” he added cooly, once again expecting Jun-woong to finally back off.

But of course, Jun-woong being the little brat that he was couldn’t just stop there.

“Well… Do you think she’s happy now?” he asked, the look of judgement coming back to Joong-gil’s face as he glanced back at Jun-woong.

“What?”

“Do you think she’s happy now?” Jun-woong asked again. “Koo Timjangnim.”

Joong-gil could only let out a tired sigh this time.

“Yah, Choi Jun-woong-ssi,” he said tiredly. “Awful lot of questions there, don’t we?”

“You know, you don’t need to answer that,” the younger man said.. “On second thought, I should be the one answering the question.”

‘There’s really no need for that,’ was what Joong-gil wanted to say in response, but seeing how deep in thought the boy was, he couldn’t help but be curious about what he was going to say.

“Do you want to hear my honest thoughts about it, Park Joong-gil-ssi?” Jun-woong tilted his head.

“‘Park Joong-gil-ssi’? Yah, you punk–”

“I’m still worried about her.”

Joong-gil paused. Scolding Jun-woong for his informality completely disappearing from his tongue, looking at his glancing away from his gaze.

“Worried about her? Koo Ryeon?” Joong-gil asked in bewilderment and the younger reaper just nodded.

“Ryu Cho-hui-ssi’s case… How Koo Timjang acted and reacted to the things that happened…” he said slowly. “That’s not something that just disappears in time.”

“Choi Jun-woong,” Joong-gil called out. “You said it yourself back then, I was a bastard,” he added, looking back at the time Jun-woong stormed into his office, asking him for help, eyes glossy and figure trembling. “I did something despicable during Ryu Cho-hui’s case. All the anger she let out was for me, and she took it out on the people who were making things harder,” he paused for a moment, closing his file, focusing on the boy who was just looking at his own lap. “What she did was a reasonable response from someone who has finally reached their limit, even though it may have sent her back to Hell.”

“That’s exactly what worries me the most, Park Joong-gil-nim…” Jun-woong said softly. “The look in her eye back then… it was as if she didn’t care what would happen after… that she didn’t care about losing the life she’s built back up after everything that’s happened.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I’m scared for her,” Jun-woong admitted, voice trembling. “The feeling of hopelessness doesn’t just disappear. It stays, makes you think that it’s gone then suddenly hits you on a random tuesday making you rethink if you even are fine in the first place,” he suddenly chuckled, and Joong-gil swears he could see the boy’s eyes glisten. “I’m just scared that after all these highs that she’s experiencing right now, the hopelessness she’s felt for so long comes back. And it genuinely worries me so much that when it does happen again, she lets it take over.”

Jun-woong’s tone started declining in volume, and that was when Joong-gil saw him wiping away his tears, the former turning his back away from the latter, most likely not wanting to show the older the emotion that was written all over him.

“Aish, sorry…” Jun-woong said quietly, sniffling. “I didn’t expect to cry.”

Joong-gil didn’t say anything, didn’t plan to say anything for a while anyway. He never knew how to comfort people aside from Koo Ryeon, and he most definitely didn’t know how to comfort someone who would cry the same way that he would for Koo Ryeon.

Park Joong-gil knew where Jun-woong was coming from, and if he were to be honest, he could feel his heart soften at the sight of the boy’s tears.

Seeing Jun-woong in tears wasn’t something new to Joong-gil, he cried in every case they got, he cried while watching a “sad” movie, and he cried when laughs too hard. If Joong-gil were to collect every tear that the boy has shed, he’d have a water source longer and deeper than the Han River.

Yet even with how often the young reaper had cried, Joong-gil was slowly starting to see that he wasn’t just someone who cried too much.

Choi Jun-woong was just human.

Something that most reapers have forgotten through the years of repeated work in Jumadeung.

And Jun-woong’s tears? It was a representation of the humanity that he has for himself and for the people around him—overflowing with love that Joong-gil couldn’t even fathom how a mere mortal could amass so much of it.

And to see it being spent on Ryeon, it was like witnessing the gods sending her the kind of humanity that was selfishly denied from her, and trying to make up for every horrible thing it’s done.

“You really love her that much hm…” Joong-gil whispered, voice gentle causing Jun-woong to finally look his way and let out a little chuckle.

“I wouldn’t tell her that I loved her if I didn’t mean it, you know,” he joked, sniffling. “She’s just… she’s the last person to ever feel so much hopelessness. Especially after everything she’s been through,”

Jun-woong paused, frowning. “She doesn’t even realize how much of an amazing person she is!” his voice broke slightly as he exclaimed. “Despite the shit that has been thrown to her by others, despite her own mind sometimes being against her wellbeing, she’s incredible! And it sucks so much that even after all she’s endured alone, fate is so cruel to her that even when it comes to her current happiness… she’s holding back.”

The young reaper slumped into his chair. “She deserves to be as happy and free as the people she saves,” he murmured, his words settling into the room; heavy.

“She told me about the words you said to her on the rooftop,” Joong-gil said quietly, his voice steady but soft. “You know you saved them all, so why are you so unhappy? If you’re unhappy yourself, what’s the point in saving others?”

Jun-woong laughed wryly upon hearing the familiar words. “I just wanted her to realize that she had to save herself first.”

“There’s still a lot to unload, Jun-woong-ssi, but she is,” he said, voice low. “She’s realizing that she’s the only one who could let go of all the hopelessness that’s kept her hostage for so long,” he added, careful to choose the right words to say next. It wasn’t like he was trying to reassure the kid or anything, but if this was the way for him to stop crying, Joong-gil might as well give it a try.

“Of course, we don’t know what the future holds. A lot of things can still go wrong. But the important thing is… she’s making the active choice of choosing herself now, correct?” Joong-gil raised an eyebrow at the younger and with a small smile on his face, the latter nodded his head.

“Good, you get it,” he said, standing up and taking the files on Ryeon’s table and putting it onto Jun-woong’s before returning to his own desk to sit down. “Wipe your tears now. We don’t want to get in trouble with Koo Ryeon and your Ryung-gu hyung for not only not working, but for you to look like a complete wimp.”

“Yah!” Jun-woong frowned and Joong-gil just raised his eyebrow at the younger man again.

“Work now, Choi Jun-woong-ssi. You’ll be alright.”

It has been 182 days since Park Joong-gil had been placed in the care of the Risk Management Department—six months as a member of the team coming to an end, and his punishment time finally over.

Objectively speaking, the six months with the RM team had been his punishment. But for Joong-gil it had never felt like one, because how could punishment be as soft and welcoming as his wife’s touch and as warm as her smile?

“Ryeon-ah,” Joong-gil murmured as he came up behind her at the sink, arms slipping around her waist, his chin settling lightly against her shoulder.

Lately, Joong-gil and Ryeon had fallen into the quiet habit of spending their nights at each other’s apartments, switching off each week. This week, it happened to be Koo Ryeon’s week.

Their set up was something new. Something that the male reaper expected to ever be doing again after death when he never had any chores to do in the first place. Not because of negligence, but because he never had a place to call home after death.

With the centuries Joong-gil has lived alone, chores had never been on the top of his priority. He lived, breathed, and did almost everything in Jumadeung. He slept in his office chair, had a personal refrigerator in his office, and he even had his own closet in the place.

Work was his home. But now looking at the woman in front of him, doing the dishes of the dirty pans and plates he used to cook for tonight’s dinner, he never expected to feel happy at the act of doing life’s repetitive bidding.

“Joong-gil-ah, I don’t know if you see, but I’m currently busy,” she warned with a slight teasing in her tone. “What is it that you need, hm?”

“I just missed you, that’s all,” he breathed out, his arms wrapping around her tighter, his cheek grazing hers.

Ryeon could only let out a dry chuckle at the man’s reply as she placed the clean dishes on the drying rack. “We’ve been together almost every day for a month and a half now.”

“Well I don’t get to be this close to you everyday,” he countered, burying his face onto Ryeon’s shoulder.

“You’re clingy,” Joong-gil felt Ryeon roll her eyes as she said it.

Smirking, the male reaper just turns her around, making her face him, her back pressed against the sink.

Ryeon’s eyes widened. “Yah–”

“But you like it, don’t you?” he wiggled his eyebrows earning a scoff. “Ryeon-ah, look into my eyes for a moment.”

Confused, Ryeon complied easily, her eyes meeting his soft gaze as he stepped closer to her.

“You’ve been off for a few days now,” Joong-gil stated, and that alone made Ryeon’s gaze falter. “Hey, don’t look away from me,” he said softly. “Do we have a problem?”

Ryeon just smiled, not quite reaching her eyes. “Nothing like that, Joong-gil,” she said simply and Joong-gil’s eyes narrowed.

“Ryeon-ah…”

The female reaper sighed and stared back at Joong-gil. “You’re going back tomorrow,” she said, gaze steady, but the tone of her voice betrays her completely.

“Yes I will be,” he replied, saying it like the truth that it is. Putting one of his hands on the sink’s surface as he leaned closer to her. “Does it bother you? Should I tell the Empress to extend my stay with the Risk Management Department?”

“Are you insane?” she questioned, walking away from Joong-gil, passing through the empty space Joong-gil left open. “Your team needs you,” she added as she plopped down onto her couch, crossing her arms, and even with her back turned from him, Joong-gil could see her pouting.

Chuckling, he rushed over to Ryeon, sitting beside her. “Of course my team would need me,” he responded. “But my wife needs me just as much as well you know,” he leaned closer, whispering. “Maybe even more.”

Ryeon scoffed, weakly shoving Joong-gil away. “You’re getting too comfortable calling me your wife, Joong-gil.”

“Why?” he asked, eyebrows furrowing as he leaned closer once again. “Are you saying that you’re not my wife?”

“Aish, just shut up,” she sighed, pushing him lightly once again. Before he let himself be pushed once again, he grabbed her wrist before she could pull away, using it as an opportunity to position himself to lay down on the couch.

His head on her lap, her hand on his chest.

“Joong-gil-ah…” her eyes narrowed, tone scolding.

“Massage my head, please?” he whined. “My head hurts…”

“You are unbelievable,” Ryeon grumbled but with how her free hand went to work right away, moving slowly against his scalp, Joong-gil closed his eyes, suppressing a smile.

They spent a few minutes just like that—in complete silence, in each other’s presence.

Park Joong-gil never understood why taking care of him always calmed Ryeon down, but it was one of the things he’s learned recently and liked using it to his advantage.

Not because he wanted to be pampered (though this is true, not just in this exact moment), but in moments where he didn’t know what to do, he finally had something he could rely on that would always work.

He could never really calm her down when it came to situations it mattered, he never knew how to. It wasn’t really a flaw, but it was frustrating for Joong-gil.

It was frustrating in a way that it has been something that had never changed since the past.

He could never fault her for that though, her independence and sense of self is one of the million things that he loves about her. He just wished she relied on him more in a way that she would let him pamper her.

“You know, tomorrow still scares me,” Ryeon broke the silence, her movement slowing, voice quiet.

Joong-gil opened his eyes, looking at her looking back at him. “Hey, no need to worry,” he smiled at her gently. “I’ll be there to scare it off with you.”

Seeking for any kind of response from the female reaper, Joong-gil waited. But seeing how she remained silent, he thought to himself thoughtfully before speaking up once again.

“Ryeon-ah, you want to know something?” he asked, and he heard a hum from the other. “I still have nightmares,” he admitted. “And it’s gotten scarier this time, because my mind sometimes fools me that you aren’t here with me.”

Joong-gil felt her hand still, and when he looked at her even more, he could see the slight tremble of her lips.

“But I am,” she said quietly.

“Of course I know that,” Joong-gil sat up, turning his whole body towards Ryeon. “But I also know that sometimes the choice to do it again still weighs on your mind,” he paused. “And sometimes, it still gets me restless.”

Seeing how frozen Ryeon was, Joong-gil just offered her another smile, leaning towards her to give her a kiss on her forehead; soft and lingering.

“I’m not saying this because I’m mad,” he reassured, his hands putting away the strays of hair that were covering her face. “Both of us still have problems that we still have to deal with. But that doesn’t stop me from wanting to live tomorrow with you.”

“Well… I’m not going anywhere.” Ryeon reached out for his hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. She still wasn’t directly looking him in the eyes, but the gesture was enough for Joong-gil to smile.

“And me going back to the Escort Team isn’t going to change anything.”

“Of course it won’t,” Ryeon slowly looked up to meet his gaze, a tiny smile on her face.

“I don’t know what we’re going to face moving forward. We’ve both lived long enough to know that nothing ever stays easy for very long, so talk to me, okay?” Joong-gil took her hand towards his lips and kissed it, cupping it in both his hands, holding it close to him while his eyes stared at her. “Always talk to me.”

Ryeon nodded. “Thank you,” she managed to breathe out.

“This is not something you should thank me for,” he said softly. “This is something that I should be doing without even saying it.”

“Not that,” she shook her head laughing. She then turned to his direction, placing their hands in the middle of them. “Thank you for making living easier again.”

Joong-gil could feel his eyes water as he heard the words come out of Ryeon’s mouth.

She had gone through so much, and the mere fact that she was trying to live again was enough.

She was enough.

And he hoped that in the following centuries that they would spend with one another she’d realize that as well.

“Hey, why are you about to cry?” Ryeon moved closer to Joong-gil, concern etched on her face as he cupped his face being met with a few tears and a chuckle that tells her that he’s fine.

“Let’s make all the lost time worth it, hm?” Joong-gil’s voice wavered. “I’m never leaving your side again.”

Staring lovingly at her husband, she pulled his face closer to her, leaning in to plant a kiss on his lips. Longer than the ones that they’d had these past few weeks, tasting the hopes and dreams that they had for one another—waiting, wishing, and longing no longer a feeling of death, but a proof of surviving.

Ryeon pulled away, looking at Joong-gil as their foreheads touched. “I love you, seobangnim.”

Joong-gil pulled her in once more, leaving a short kiss before looking at her again. “I love you, buin.”

Living has never been a luxury for Park Joong-gil and Koo Ryeon. While they lived comfortably in every lifetime they’ve existed in, a feeling of emptiness always overcame them when they were a part.

Like a missing piece of a puzzle, or maybe even a missing word to a poet that laid strangely on the tip of his tongue—there but forgotten, there but unexplainable. They lived in a world that served too little for the love that they had for one another.

And maybe that was what made their love story beautiful. It could’ve ended in tragedy—it was a tragedy.

But despite everything, they persevered. And nothing’s more important than making the conscious choice to continue showing up every day: to keep living for tomorrow.

(Bonus)

“What?!”

“No need to act like a broken record, Choi Jun-woong,” the Empress stated.

“Did I hear you correctly?” the young boy clarified.

The Director could only let out a chuckle as she sipped a bit of her tea. “You heard me correctly,” she placed her teacup down. “I’m sending you back today.”

Jun-woong, too speechless to say anything, just kept blinking at the deity. Then suddenly, he opens his mouth. “...Why?”

The Empress raised an eyebrow at him “What do you mean, ‘why’? You’ve been here for almost a year, do you not want to go back?”

“O-Of course I do!” the boy exclaimed. “It’s just… is it really okay for me to go back now?”

“Jun-woong-ssi–”

“You know who I’m referring to here, Empress.” Jun-woong stated, expression growing serious, something he rarely was in Jumadeung if he were to be honest. “I’m talking about Koo and Park Timjang. Are they going to be okay?”

The Empress could only smile at the young boy’s concern. When she decided to involve Choi Jun-woong in mending the fates of her top two workers, she didn’t expect for him to agree so quickly.

The mortal wanted to go home right away, but now, here he was, delaying his trip back home, worried about two reapers that had nothing to do with him.

“I wouldn’t be sending you back if they weren’t going to be okay, Jun-woong.”

“...Sure?”

“Boy, you’ve done more than enough,” she continued, her voice steady. “Koo Ryeon and Park Joong-gil’s story is finally starting to flow through time once again. And because they’re moving, they don’t need you anymore.”

Jun-woong smiled as he heard the words that came out of the Empress’ mouth, the last part of her speech only being comprehended a few seconds after making him pout.

“That’s kind of harsh…” the boy muttered.

The Empress only tilted her head slightly, a knowing smile playing at the edges of her lips. “But you also know this wouldn’t have happened without you.”

Jun-woong could only look down. It wasn’t like he’s done anything big for the two, it was all on them. It was their love story after all, he just happened to be nosy and asked the right questions.

A silence blew over the Director’s office for a moment, none of the two really rushing to speak.

“You’ve done great work, Choi Jun-woong,” she said, her voice calm, breaking the silence. “You’ve managed to help out Ryeon and Joong-gil’s stories and closed a chapter of their lives that should have been closed centuries ago,” she added, making Jun-woong look up at her.

“And now that it’s finally been done, it’s time for your story to finally start.”

Notes:

Wow who would've thought the empress and junwoong were scheming? definitely not me! hope you all enjoyed this though. that's it for this two parter!

i do have a junwoong centric fic planned, idk when it'd be posted though but watch out for that!

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