Work Text:
BEGIN.
I met her for the first time at work. I was a new entry-level employee and she was one of the supervisors who trained us. Ever since that day, my world has changed drastically.
“Good morning!” It was Miss Arlecchino who greeted us. One of the managers to be exact.
Miss Arlecchino has a charming and demure personality, she greeted everyone with great enthusiasm.
“Good morning, Miss Arlecchino!” The new employees greeted back with smiles on their faces. We’re all excited to work in the company. Miss Arlecchino clapped her hands in delight.
“Oh, I love the energy of the new employees!”
“That will go away.” A girl walked towards Miss Arlecchino lazily while scanning papers on her hands which I assumed, our profiles. Despite her lazy stride and nonchalant face, looking at her side profile I was dazed.
‘Holy fuck, she’s pretty.’
Miss Arlecchino lightly chuckled.
“Everyone, meet Manager Sandrone… Miss Sandrone Guilotin” Miss Arlecchino introduced the lady beside her.
“Good morning, Manager Sandrone!” The newbies greeted.
“I was once like you, so happy and full of life, anyway just Sandrone is fine.” she commented further.
“Since Sandrone insisted on being called by her name, you can call me just Arlecchino as well. Sandrone, show them the great smile you once had, will you?” Arlecchino tried to coax the girl beside her.
The newbies were looking at each other confusedly because of the odd Manager that popped up so sudden.
“Whatever, I don’t know why you need me here.” Sandrone sighed.
“We have to train them.”
“This is not a military, it’s easy. Just scanned the documents. Write reports the whole day and listen to the meeting they’re probably not interested to attend to, and lastly go home. It’s routine actually.” She dryly commented and the newbies laughed. I did too, I was smiling the whole time. Not only is she pretty but also has a sense of humour.
“That’s...Okay, that’s correct but you gotta have fun and do your work with love!” Arlecchino cheered the newbies.
“The only day I love with the years I worked here is payday.” Sandrone savagely remarked and we all laughed. She started checking the profile, “So, let’s start with introducing yourselves, shall we?” they all nodded. She started to read names until she read mine, finally.
“And, Miss Columbina Hyposelenia?”
“Y-Yeah, ma’am. It’s me.” I raised my hand awkwardly.
“You’re a bit shy, huh?” she finally gave the infamous smile and my heart started to flutter that I almost lost my shit.
‘So would you like to date me? Maybe after work?’
‘Uhh…’
“Miss Columbina? Miss, are you alright?” she asked and I realized I was just daydreaming right in front of her.
How embarrassing!
“Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Okay, since we already know each other, we can all get back to our respective desks and work ourselves till we get tired!” Sandrone closed the profiles and started to walk away, Arlecchino grinned.
“That was quite a character, isn’t it?”
Everybody laughed.
“Don’t worry, she’s a good manager. If you have questions, approach me or Sandrone. We’ll be happy to help you.”
That was my first day of work. Starting that day, I felt weird. My stomach feels weird. I can’t seem to look away from Sandrone’s face.
‘This is bad.’
And every day I wake up in the morning, all I see is sunshine and smell daisies all because of a girl.
“My stomach is fluttering with butterflies nowadays, all because of my manager, Sandrone.”
***
As expected, all the newbies asked Arlecchino questions because they were intimidated by Sandrone’s personality and glare. A guy tried to ask a question but he was shut off.
“This is too wordy, are you sure you didn’t get this from google? And you didn’t have to highlight everything, this is a fiscal report, not a colouring book!” Sandrone gave him constructive criticism, after a few days, the newbie guy resigned explaining the work was too hard for him.
Knowing these things, I still like Sandrone no matter how cold she could get. I love the fact that she doesn’t care about anything and she’s brutally honest.
Our conversation hasn’t passed yet far from ‘Good mornings’.
Since Sandrone’s desk was located in front of mine, I kept peeking on what she was doing. She would always sport this serious look and her eyebrows would furrow every time she gets confused and frustrated.
‘What a hot-headed woman.’
I had this coffee on my hands that I’ve been wanting to give her ever since this morning but I have no guts to do so. What I missed was that Arlecchino was at my back looking at the same person I was looking at and back to me.
I thought of the things I would do when I give this coffee to her.
‘Miss Sandrone!’ I called out nervously as I approached her desk.
‘Yeah?’
‘Would you like some coffee?’
‘Sure!’ she took the coffee on my hand, her fingers brushed on mine, I felt butterflies everywhere. She opened the canned coffee and took a sip.
‘Oh, it’s good!’
‘Do you like it?’ I asked shyly. She held my arms and squeezed it lightly.
‘I like you.’
“Aha, so you’ve been looking at Sandrone!” a voice startled the shit out of me and crashed my daydream.
“Huh?” I was beet red.
Then I saw Arlecchino’s playful face and waved at Sandrone.
“Oh, Sandrone! Miss Columbina is looking at…” I immediately panicked and stood up as I hastily gave the coffee to Arlecchino.
‘Shit. Is this how gay panic feels like?’
“HAVE THIS COFFEE! IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!” Then I ran out of the door and excused myself to the restroom.
Meanwhile, Sandrone looked at Arlecchino.
“Newbie has a crush on you, huh?” Sandrone looked at the surprised Arlecchino while holding a coffee in her hands. Arlecchino smiled.
“Oh, you have no idea..” she chuckled as she saw Sandrone drinking her tea.
Apparently, Sandrone has anxiety so she keeps caffeine now.
***
I arrived early at work so I could ask Sandrone for a coffee, but still, I had no guts to approach her so I settled with holding the coffee in my hands and looked down on my desk.
‘Good morning, Miss Columbina!’ Sandrone approached my desk and I was dumbstruck.
‘G-Good morning, Miss Sandrone!’ I stood up quickly and helplessly stuttered, she giggled.
‘You look cute, would you like to go out with me?’ she charmingly asked and I melted at the sight.
‘YES!’
I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“What ‘Yes?’”
Arlecchino started to befriend me that day. With my obvious crush with Sandrone, Arlecchino likes to tease me about it.
“O-Oh… uh… it’s nothing.”
“Good morning, Miss Columbina!”
“Good morning, Manager Arlecchino.” She put her hands on my shoulders and whispered something that made me blush.
“Just Arlecchino, please…So, you’re sightseeing, huh?”
‘Crap, I got caught.’
But with Sandrone looking like an angel early in the morning, I felt blessed and I have to enjoy this view while it lasts.
“I-I don’t know what you m-mean…” I nervously replied and she gave me a can of snacks.
“Have some of my nuts!”
“Huh?”
“Just get one.” I shyly took one and gave her back the can.
“Oh, it’s good!”
“It’s from Japan.” she smiled and waved as she noticed Sandrone looking at us.
“Do you want some, Sandrone?” Arlecchino offered.
‘Little devil!’
I saw Sandrone frowned and said, “I’ll pass, Arlecchino.” Then she focused on the papers at her table. I sighed and looked at the coffee in my hand.
Arlecchino tapped my back and said, “You know, Sandrone doesn’t drink coffee anymore due to some health concerns. Try tea instead.” she suggested.
“O-Oh? Uh… Thank y-you.”
“If you’re really grateful, can I have that coffee instead?” Arlecchino grinned and I gave her the coffee, “Sure.”
“See you!”
Arlecchino is a good sent angel!
Meanwhile, when Arlecchino passed by Sandrone's table, Sandrone called her out.
“Coffee again from the newbie?” Sandrone asked curiously.
“Yeah, isn’t she cool? You should try to be friends with her.”
“No thanks, I don’t like coffee. She has a crush on you, right?”
“You really are clueless.” Arlecchino chuckled as she went to her respective desk while Sandrone was left on her thoughts.
‘What does she mean?’
She saw Columbina on the photocopying machine.
“So, she likes Arlecchino, huh?”
***
I arrived early at the office again only to be informed that Sandrone would report in the afternoon because she had a meeting in the morning with an important client. I was down the whole day while doing my work. I didn’t realize that it’s already afternoon.
“Want to have lunch, Columbina?” It was Arlecchino who approached me.
“I…”
“You can’t say no, Sandrone would join us. She’s on her way.” She put her arms around me and dragged me out of the office.
“Let’s go, newbie!”
Then, on our way to the cafeteria, I had this daydream.
I saw Sandrone waving at us. She ran towards me and hugged me tightly.
‘I miss you, Bina!’
‘I miss you too.’
Oh, to be called by my nickname sounds heavenly.
Then all the butterflies tingled on my skin.
Then I suddenly felt cold.
“Hey!” Arlecchino snapped her fingers in front of me as I was dazed.
“H-Huh?”
I frowned when I saw no Sandrone on our table. We waited for a long ten minutes with Arlecchino interrogating me about my feelings for Sandrone.
“So, you like Sandrone, huh?”
I shook my head but I couldn’t speak because I would be lying by then. Arlecchino laughed.
“It’s obvious that you do, don’t lie,”
“Is it bad?” I asked embarrassedly.
“Nope, it’s only bad if you’re keeping it to yourself.”
“It’s silly, I guess,” I said nervously as I got caught by Arlecchino.
“It’s not silly,”
“Your crush is coming, act normal.” Arlecchino whispered at me and I saw Sandrone walk towards our table. She seemed like she had a bad day so she was frowning when she saw me and Arlecchino.
“Hey, Sandrone! Come join us.” Arlecchino waved, and Sandrone sat beside me.
‘Shit, is she really beside me?’
I felt a lot of emotions. Fear of making a fool out of myself and happy that she’s somehow close to me.
“So, Miss Columbina is joining us?” she asked me. I shyly nodded my head.
“She’ll join our lunches from now on.” Arlecchino playfully said and I laughed nervously as I tried to read Sandrone’s face.
“I wonder why though,” she said flatly and my heart clenched a bit.
‘She doesn’t like me here.’ I was suddenly sad.
“She’s the top performer among the newbies. We can train her for a managerial position.” Arlecchino explained the work perspective, “But also, there is another reason.” Arlecchino implied playfully.
Columbina started to get nervous and red.
“And what is it?” Sandrone asked non-chalantly.
“That’s for you to find out, dear Sandrone.” Arlecchino answered.
“Oh, whatever.” Sandrone dismissed.
Arlecchino looked at me and Sandrone. I can see her eyes sparked with an idea.
“Let’s exchange contacts!” she grinned and gave me knowing looks.
“I don’t see why not.” Sandrone gave hers to me and Arlecchino did too.
‘I got her contact, OMG! Arlecchino is such an angel. Heaven is on my side!’
We ate our lunch together with Arlecchino and Sandrone talking and I remained quiet of course. They were my superiors after all. Arlecchino was telling stories about her girlfriend and Sandrone was looking at me with a weird expression.
“So, Furina keeps on ditching me and-” Sandrone cuts her off.
“Arlecchino, I don’t think it’s appropriate to talk about that I-” but Arlecchino laughed.
“Why not? I think Columbina here also got someone she likes, right?” Arlecchino wiggled her eyebrows and nudged my shoulder playfully.
“Y-Yeah…” I said awkwardly.
Then I saw Arlecchino’s playful eyes, “Sandrone’s boyfriend is pretty popular, you know that?”
I saw Sandrone smile and she chuckled at Arlecchino.
“Yeah, he is.” Her posture seems to be relaxed and her aura got lighter when the topic came. But mine got darker and I felt uneasy.
I looked at Arlecchino and went back to Sandrone.
“S-She has a…”
“Yeah.”
‘What was I thinking? Of course, I have no chance with a girl like her.’
Then, I remained quiet the entire lunch because my heart was aching. It’s a devastating feeling to know that the person you like is dating someone else. All my daydreams completely backfired at me.
‘They will never happen in real life.’
Meanwhile, Sandrone was looking at the girl beside her in pity. She glared at Arlecchino who was oblivious while telling her random stories.
‘Arlecchino, you’re a prick.’ she thought as she looked at Columbina in pity.
***
I decided to have three days sick leave to get over the heartache I felt. But still, it wasn’t healed. I merely put a band-aid on it, a band-aid that’s ready to be ripped off every time I see Sandrone. The days went on, and I didn’t try anything anymore.
‘Some dreams do not come true.’
Arlecchino looked at me weirdly when I refused our initial lunch arrangement. I just told them I was busy and rushing on a deadline. I couldn’t smile and the sun looked gloomy and I did not smell the daisies anymore.
‘All because of unrequited love and impossible daydreams.’
Arlecchino became my coffee buddy every morning. She’s a good friend and supervisor. A week after, I was sad because Arlecchino was on a business trip for a month in Japan.
I received an email, it was from Arlecchino.
‘Don’t miss me too much. I’ll be in Japan for a while when I come back, I want to hear good news from you. Go get Sandrone.’ I smiled but then I remembered, she has a boyfriend.
That day, Sandrone greeted me ‘Good morning.’ I didn’t have the energy to greet her back so I just gave her a fake smile and continued doing my job without looking at her anymore.
I looked at my phone and saw the contacts on it. I clicked on Sandrone’s profile picture but shit happened when I accidentally clicked the call button. I panicked when I saw Sandrone looking at her phone then looking at me. She approached me.
“Uhm, do you need something?” she asked.
“O-Oh… I pressed the wrong button, I’m sorry for the inconvenience.” I showed my phone and fuck, the screen was showing her profile. Yeah, I got busted, I was stalking her.
‘Great job, Columbina. Now die.’ I grimaced.
But she just smiled and told me, “I see, accidents happen, right? That’s normal.” she just saved me from my embarrassment and I only stared at her in awe, “Very, well. Feel free to call me if you need anything.”
“I-I… Thank you, Miss Sandrone.”
“Tch. Just Sandrone.”
“S-Sandrone.”
I looked at her as she went back to her desk. She was smiling while looking at her phone.
‘She has a boyfriend anyway.’ my mind said and I got sad again
I didn’t bother to take lunch. I didn’t notice that I spent my hours working straight and it’s already 6 PM. Everyone went home already. I sighed and then I felt a tap on my shoulder.
“Miss Columbina, aren’t you going home?” It was Sandrone wearing a worried expression. Or maybe I’m just being delusional again.
“O-Oh, I’ll… I’ll just finish this then I’m off.”
“Would you like to have some dinner?”
“Huh?”
I slapped myself to know if I’m just daydreaming again, then I can still see Sandrone looking at me.
‘So, it’s real…’
“Are you sleepy?” she chuckled.
“O-Oh, yeah…” I embarrassedly looked away.
“Come on, you need to eat. I’m hungry too.”
‘So, she noticed that I didn’t take my break?’
“Sure.”
We ended up having dinner together. I kept glancing at her. Wondering what was happening. Maybe she just wanted to be friends? I don’t know, I shouldn’t think of anything.
‘This is not a date.’ I keep on reminding myself that she has a boyfriend. Then, I fucked up as some words slipped out from my mouth.
“Your boyfriend must be upset that you’re working overtime.”
‘Crap, what the hell did I just say?!’
“Boyfriend?”
“U-Uh… Arlecchino said…”
“Do you want to see my Pulonia?” she smiled like she was in love then I frowned.
“Huh?” I lamented.
I don’t want to see the person who owns the heart of the person I like. It’s like adding salt into my wounds.
She was smiling when she sat beside me and showed her phone to me.
‘What the fuck?’
She’s going to break my heart into pieces and kill me after this. But then all my negative thoughts changed to a feeling of surprise and relief.
“Your Pulonia is a dog?!” I could hide the biggest smile I ever did in my life. It’s a mixture of relief, gratefulness and luck.
“Yeah, he’s quite famous on the internet. He got many followers because he’s cute.” Sandrone said proudly.
“That’s great!” I was smiling the whole time I didn’t know maybe I look stupid.
“You look happy, do you like dogs?” Sandrone asked.
“Yeah, I like you!”
“Huh?”
Then, I realized what I had said and my eyes widened in fear as I saw her shock expression.
“I-I mean! I like dogs! I like your dog! I like all dogs!”
“That’s good, uh… Since Arlecchino is not around, you can be friends with me.” Sandrone said softly as she looked down on her table.
‘Friends… at least friends.’ I smiled in contentment.
“Thank you, Manager Sand-!” I grinned.
“For the nth time. Just call me Sandrone.”
“I-I can’t do that…”
“Well, at least when we’re not in the office.”
“S-So, w-we can hang out a-again?!”
She smiled and told me, “Why not?”
And I was smiling the whole night.
‘Gosh, I must be crazy.’
“Would you like to have a beer afterwards?” I pushed my luck.
“I would love to but I have to drive home.”
“O-Oh… Yeah… Sorry.” I was disappointed but here she goes again saving my ass from embarrassment.
“Maybe some other time?”
“Yeah.”
The bitch called hope is here again.
***
The sun looked beautiful again, I smelled the daisies and heard music in my ears as I spent my days with Sandrone. I started to look forward to weekdays and hated the weekends.
Sandrone and I started to be close that day. As friends, of course, she would always be attentive but I figured out maybe she does that to some people as well. We are on our first name basis now so I guess that’s an improvement. I saw her walking towards the office, so I called her out.
“Sandrone!” She didn’t hear me, so I ran to catch up on her.
“Sandrone!” I said as I panted and she stopped walking.
“Oh, Columbina. Good morning.”
“Good morning, Sandrone.”
We walked side by side, I switched my bag on my left so I could be closer to her. I saw her smile when our hands accidentally brushed against each other. . But then again, I always have a series of daydreams about her so maybe it’s one of them. I can’t help but glance at Sandrone’s side profile. We waited for the elevator in silence.
‘She’s an art angel.’
Her face is perfect in every angle. She looked at me and caught me staring at her so I looked away and stared at the ground instead.
“Columbina?”
“Yeah?” I looked at my right, she’s no longer there.
“Aren’t you going to use the elevator as well?”
She’s inside the elevator already and I didn’t notice.
“U-Uh, yeah…”
That’s the start of my days as friends with Sandrone.
Friends, it’s better than nothing.
***
It was getting colder outside, and one of the managers asked me to buy a goddamn coffee. It was an insult for I was not an intern but I did it anyway. On my way out, I forgot to bring my coat with me and left it on my chair. I saw Sandrone on her way up to the office, she called me.
“Bina, where are you going?”
Apparently, I insisted that she call me by my nickname.
“Mr Dottore asked me to buy him some coffee.” I smiled.
“Huh? Why would he do that? That silly old man I ought to-”
“It’s okay, I mean, I want one too.”
“Still, he shouldn’t give you orders, you’re on my team.” Sandrone frowned.
“Well, I’ll go ahead now.”
“Wait!” I looked back and she looked at me worriedly, “It’s cold outside.”
“O-Oh… I’ll be fine, the store is just nearby.”
She shook her head and took off her coat and put it on me.
“Wear this.”
The elevator opened up and Sandrone waved at me and said, “See you later.”
On my way to the coffee shop, I smelled Sandrone's perfume instead of the coffee. I felt the butterflies again and that bitch called hope screamed ‘What ifs and Maybes’ in my ears as I hugged the coat closer to my body.
“I wonder how it feels to hug Sandrone…” I sighed hopelessly.
‘What if… Maybe, she likes me too?’
I bought tea for Sandrone as well.
“Chamomile, please.”
”For who?” the barista asked.
“Sandrone.” Gosh, saying her name feels so good.
When I came back to the office, Mr Dottore approached my table and apologized to me.
“I’m sorry, Miss Columbina. I won’t do it again.” Mr Dottore said.
“It’s okay.” I just smiled and gave him his coffee. I saw Sandrone peeking on my desk so I approached her table.
‘She did something, huh?’ I grinned.
“One Chamomile tea for Sandrone.” I put the tea on her desk. She smiled and looked at me.
“The coat suits you.” she complimented and I turned red.
I didn’t realize I was still wearing her coat.
“Thanks for the tea.” Sandrone smiled so beautifully that even beautiful scenery isn’t at par with her beauty.
‘I want to see her smiling every day, I want to be beside her even if I’m just a friend.’
I didn’t return her coat and she didn’t seem to mind at all for she used mine to go home.
Meanwhile, Sandrone on her way home. She started her car and looked at the sunset.
‘Bina wore my coat the entire day, huh?’
Surprisingly, Columbina’s coat was warmer than hers.
***
There’s a new guy in the office. A temporary replacement for Arlecchino. He’s hot, he’s rich and he’s popular. Every girl in the office likes him but he only has his eyes for one person.
Sandrone, the girl I also like.
I saw him approach Sandrone’s desk with a report folder.
“Here’s the report you need, Sandrone” the guy put his hands at the back of Sandrone's chair.
I felt so jealous but there was nothing I could do for I have no right to.
Sandrone looked at him and smiled.
“Thanks, Scaramouche.” Then she read the report, “Who made this?”
“Dottore and I.” he stated proudly.
“Seems like you two have great chemistry. Great report.” Then to my distaste, Scaramouche leaned closer to Sandrone and said, “Do you think we have chemistry as well?” he asked and Sandrone just wrote something on his report and gave it back to him after a few minutes.
“Revise this part, it’s too wordy. Mind the capitalization and make the photos more remarkable.” Sandrone instructed.
“Are you free later?” he asked.
“Hmmm… I think so.”
“Go out with me later, just one date!” Scaramouche offered.
‘Oh. no. this can’t be!’
I stood from my desk and approached Sandrone’s table as fast as I could.
“Sandrone!”
“Oh, Bina! Great timing I-” ~ “Would you like to have a beer-” we said both at the same time so I just let her speak.
“Bina, have you seen Team A’s report? I need to review it for today’s meeting.” Sandrone asked and my thoughts fled to the missing report.
“Uhh…I’ll ask Ineffa about it.”
“Great.”
“Sandrone, think about it okay?” Scaramouche tapped her shoulders and Sandrone smiled, “Okay, later.”
‘They look good together.’ I looked down with half of my energy depleted and went back to my desk.
***
Weeks pass when Sandrone and Scaramouche hang out. I felt hopeless. I started to avoid her to preserve my heart.
‘They must be dating by now.’ that evil thought in my head said.
“Columbina, would you help me find our report in the archives?” it was Ineffa, team A leader. We ate lunch once in a while.
“Sure!”
“You’re the best!” Ineffa put her arms around me as she told me her inside jokes about her girlfriend, Jahoda.
“So, I told her ‘Honey, I love you, but please don’t cook for me.’”
“If it tastes too bland, then why do you still eat it?” I asked curiously.
“Because I love her!”
“Whipped!” And Ineffa pinched my cheeks.
“Oi!”
“Haha, you look like a kid.”
I went with Ineffa to the archives then Sandrone saw us on our way. She waved at me and I just smiled politely. She looked a little upset as we passed her by without exchanging words.
‘Is Scaramouche treating her well?’ I thought.
“You think you can handle it on your own?” Ineffa asked.
“Yeah, it’s better if we split in looking,” I affirmed.
“Alright, pal. See you later!”
I went to hall A and Ineffa went to hall B.
“Damn this archive, so big!” I sighed and started my search. I went through indexes and alphabets, I finally saw the report but it was too high, I couldn’t reach it. I looked for a ladder but I saw none.
“I wish I was taller…. Damn, Bina, you can do it!” I jumped multiple times until I got tired.
Then I gave up.
“I’ll just text Ineffa.” I slumped myself on the floor tiredly until I saw a ladder then someone put the report on my lap.
When I looked up, it was Sandrone.
“Sandrone…” I said in surprise.
“You look cute back there.” she teased.
“Y-You mean, y-you’ve been watching me struggle before you help me?” I asked in disbelief.
“Well, it was a good sight to see you jumping.” she offered her hand to help me stand up, “Come on, it’s almost noon, let’s have lunch together,” she said but I remember something.
“But, I kind of promise Ineffa we’ll have lunch toge-” I saw Sandrone’s disappointed face so I just have my resolve.
‘I’m sorry, Ineffa for ditching you.’
“I’ll just text Ineffa that we’ll have our lunch next time.” and I saw Sandrone’s face lit up as she grabbed my arm and made our way to the cafeteria.
“Okay, let’s have a meal together!” she happily cheered.
‘My heart went full just looking at her happy face.’
While having our meal, I asked her, “Why aren’t you having lunch with Mr. Scaramouche?”
She looked at me as she ate her lunch, “Why would I have lunch with Scaramouche?” she asked amusedly.
“I-I… yeah… I don’t know either.” I chuckled nervously.
“Try some of this, I cooked this personally. You like beef, right?” She put a tupperware in front of my plate.
‘A home-cooked meal by Sandrone?! I must be lucky!’
“T-Thanks…” When I taste the food, I remember Ineffa’s words about her girlfriend.
‘Honey, I love you, but please don’t cook for me.’
Sandrone looked at me worriedly, “I-Is it good?” she asked.
I gulped and got many more.
“It’s delicious!”
Then she smiled so happily.
“Yay! Eat more!”
I almost emptied the entire meal until Sandrone tried to taste it herself.
“Bina, this is bad.” she coughed.
“Oh, no. I like it a lot!” I stole the remaining contents and ate it all. I saw her looking at me gratefully and I did too.
“Thanks, Bina.”
‘Ooooh, the things I’d do for love.’
“I miss eating together with you and Arlecchino, I wonder what she’s doing,” I said sincerely and I saw her unreadable face.
“Arlecchino is coming back soon, huh?” she said softly as she held her glass of water and stared at it.
“I hope she brings us the delicious nuts she had before.”
“I can buy you one online.” Sandrone offered and I shook my head shyly.
“N-No, it’s okay! I’m sure the one that comes from Arlecchino is more special because it’s free!” I joked.
But Sandrone didn’t laugh at all.
She was staring at my back when I looked in her direction, it’s Scaramouche with a female employee.
‘So this is why she had lunch with me, huh? I feel pathetic.’
Meanwhile, Sandrone thought about Columbina’s words.
‘N-No, it’s okay! I’m sure the one that comes from Arlecchino is more special…’
‘She really likes Arlecchino, huh?’
***
Sandrone has been extremely busy these days. She wouldn’t have time for our lunch and that’s okay. Who am I to be upset? I’m just a newbie employee that’s lucky enough to be friends with her.
I did my overtime and waited for a bus to come. I have to stock some groceries at home so I would take a bus to the grocery store. I was standing while listening to some music on my earphone when a black car parked in front of me. The car opened the passenger window.
It was Sandrone.
“Hey, are you going home? I’ll drop you off,” she said.
I leaned down to her window to talk to her, “O-Oh, it’s okay, Sandrone. I’ll do my groceries.” I said shyly.
She thought for a while before she spoke.
“Come to think of it, I haven’t done mine yet. Shall we do our groceries together?” she suggested and I couldn’t hide how happy I was.
“I would love that!”
I entered her passenger seat slowly and looked at her shyly. She was looking at me and I was wondering why she hasn’t started driving yet.
“I-Is there something wrong?” I asked meekly then she leaned slowly into me until our faces were only centimeters apart.
‘Is she going to kiss me?’ I internally panicked as I knew I was going to die that day if she does.
'I wonder, how does it feel to kiss Sandrone?'
But to my disappointment, she just put my seatbelt on and turned on the music.
“Safety first.”
“R-Right, sorry…”
‘Of course, why would she kiss a loser like me? She’s way out of my league.’
We did our groceries together and used one cart. I looked at Sandrone’s choice of food. They’re all healthy as fuck, while mine looks like a college student meal in stressed and ready to die. Unhealthy but cheap. Instant noodles, chips and some beer.
Sandrone looked at me and the food I had on my hands.
“You look like you’re going to watch a movie later.” She chuckled and damn that smile never failed to captivate me.
“Would you like to come to my house and watch a movie with me?” I asked mindlessly.
‘Oh, shit.’
I fucked up again all because I can’t think straight whenever she’s around me.
“Sure! Some other time, maybe.” there she goes again, saving me from embarrassment.
“Some other time, yeah,” I said shyly, I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.
“Would you like to have a beer with me later?”
“I think I’ll pass. I have an appointment later.” she scratched the back of her head.
“It’s okay.”
Then her phone rang, “Excuse me, I have to take this call.” she told me and I heard what she said on the phone.
“Scaramouche…”
‘Of course… they have a date later...It will never be me.’
When she drove me to my home, everything was quiet and the atmosphere was almost awkward. I couldn’t say a word because I was afraid that she'd see me crying. The girl I like will never be mine, how sad is that, right? I felt so jealous.
“Your place is here?” she asked me, I nodded without looking at her.
“Are you okay?”
“Y-You’ll meet… Mr. Scaramouche?”
‘Crap, me and my stupid questions. Why do I care?’
“Uh, yeah… I kind of promised last week,” she said softly, her eyes never left me.
“I see.” I opened the car door, “Thanks for the ride home, Sandrone.” I got out of the car and closed the door.
I didn’t know where the braveness of mine came from but I tried to push my luck. I knocked on her door and she opened the window.
I called her out again, “Sandrone!”
“Did you leave something?” she asked.
“Do...D-Do you really not want to come up and watch movies? I-I mean, we can drink beer and watch a good series…” Then I scoffed at my foolishness.
‘Pathetic. That sounded so desperate.’
“Never mind, I’m just rambling…”
“I’m sorry. I already promised Scaramouche I will come.” Sandrone apologized and I refused to meet her eyes and walked my way to my apartment.
“I see...uh, enjoy your night.”
I heard her car drive off. When I went inside my apartment, I cried. Why can’t the person I like just like me back? Do I need a miracle for that to happen? Am I that bad? A lot of thoughts came into my mind when I heard my phone rang.
‘Sandrone is calling…’
“Hello?” I answered in confusion.
“Does your offer still stand?”
“Huh?”
“Please come down, I’m in the lobby. I don’t know which floor you are on.”
“You came back?!”
“Yeah.”
“W-What about Mr. Scaramouche?”
“The movie and beer sound better than a boring dinner.” she giggled on the line and I immediately ran downstairs.
I saw her waiting for me at the lobby, she waved at me and I ran into her and gave her a tight hug.
“Thank you.”
‘So, this is how it feels to hug Sandrone, huh? Warm, soft and pleasant.’
“You’re welcome, now let’s go and watch that series or movie.” She intertwined her hands with mine and I smiled as if a miracle happened.
‘She chose me.’
***
The movie/series night was calm. But I was not. Sandrone was sitting on the sofa looking at the TV and I was sitting beside her, well, studying her face like the constellations. I noticed how her eyes blinked every time she felt confused about the movie plot. How she licks her lips after she sips her beer. Little things she does, I want to memorize it all.
I didn’t notice that she started to clear her throat and looked at me as well.
“Is there something on my face?” She asked.
I don’t know, maybe the liquid courage started to get through my veins. I shifted closer and said, “Nothing, you just look really pretty.”
She blushed a bit before laughing awkwardly, “Are you drunk?” she asked.
“Maybe.” I replied.
“I thought so.” She smiled then resumed watching.
I kept glancing at her lips from time to time. I wonder how soft it would be against mine?
After the movie marathon, there was a moment of silence until I spoke mindlessly again.
“Sandrone, have you ever kissed someone?” I asked. Must be the alcohol on my system working.
She seemed surprised by my question, “Why asked?” she said.
“I haven’t.” I replied.
“Oh.” She was quiet for a moment before replying, “I think I did in middle school.” she chuckled, “It was stupid, his braces grazed my lips. I was traumatized.” she said.
The fact that somebody kissed her made me jealous but they said the first love doesn’t matter, it’s the last one that matters, right?
“Would you like to redo your first kiss?” I asked.
She tilted her head in confusion, “How?”
“With me.” I bravely offered.
Her expression was unreadable this time. As if she’s wondering if I was serious. I inched closer to show my intentions and I could feel her getting closer too as she closed her eyes until her phone rang. She looked at her phone and sighed. In disappointment or relief? I am not sure.
“Excuse me, I have to take this call.”
I sunk on my couch as I listened to her talking on her phone.
“Is Pulonia ready for pick up? Sure. Thank you.”
She sat right back again and faced me, “I have to go and pick up Pulonia from the pet sitter.” she said apologetically.
“Can you drive? You just drink.” I said worriedly.
“It’s not a lot. I can handle myself, don't worry.”
“Alright, text me when you arrive home. Let me walk you to the lobby.” I stood up and held her hand.
When we arrived at the lobby, I realized we're still holding each other’s hands. It seems none of us were willing to let go or that could be a fragment of my imagination as well.
“Will you be alright?” She asked.
“Of course, I’m home.” I chuckled.
“Thank you for tonight, I had fun.” Sandrone said as she looked at me as if she’s contemplating something.
“No, thank you for choosing to hang out with me.”
“Bina,” she called. I looked at her, then she briefly kissed my cheek then waved good bye.
“See you tomorrow.” I stood there watching her back while digesting what happened.
Sandrone just kissed my cheek and I am not daydreaming.
***
After that movie night, Sandrone and I became comfortable with each other. I started to learn some of her mannerisms, she on the other hand would always initiate skinship. Being close to her makes my heart feel like bursting. But I would trade everything I have just to stay close to her. Nothing has changed though, we’re still friends, but maybe this time, closer.
“Hey, Bina!” She greeted me one morning. This time, it's the weekend. We decided to jog at the park and exercise. She told me she likes to exercise, as much as I hate it, I want to be with her so I immediately said yes when she asked me if I would like to join her.
“Good morning Sandrone!” Then I heard a bark, she brought Pulonia, her dog.
“Awww, Pulonia! So cute!” I squealed, “Can I touch him?”
“Go ahead.”
“Cutie!” I carried the dog into my arms and Sandrone snapped a photo of us.
“Hey!”
“Well, it seems like my Pulonia likes you, I’m jealous.” she joked.
“He’s all yours…” I giggled and looked at her face.
‘As I am all yours as well.’
“I-I…”
“Yes?”
“I also want to have a picture with you.” I shyly requested.
She laughed and took my phone in my hand.
“Okay, say Pulonia!”
“Pulonia!”
And I treasured that photo a lot. I even put it as my wallpaper but smart enough to put a code on my phone. I saw Pulonia’s Instagram. Sandrone put our photos with Pulonia with a heart emoji caption. It made me so happy. Everything was going well. But there is one conflict.
The problem with me is I want more of her closeness.
Arlecchino came back from Japan, and I was excited to deliver the good news to her. We had our usual coffee morning routine bonding.
“So, she’s your girlfriend now?” Arlecchino got the coffee from my hands and I looked down and shook my head slowly.
“We’re just friends.”
“Really, huh? What morning jogging with Pulonia is all about? It’s a date!” Arlecchino gave me her canned snacks of nuts, “Want some?”
“It’s not a date! And, oh my gosh! I’ve been wanting to eat this!” I took plenty from her can and she laughed.
“You’re greedy!”
Then I stopped and thought, ‘Maybe I’m getting greedier these days.’
Arlecchino shoved a nut in my mouth. “Suits you!”
“Hey!” I complained
Then Sandrone walks in with Scaramouche with tea on their hands. They saw me and Arlecchino.
“So, you’re back, huh?” Sandrone told Arlecchino.
“Yeah, want some?” Arlecchino offered her canned snacks to Sandrone but Sandrone shook her head.
“I hate it because it’s more special.” Sandrone walked into her desk while Scaramouche showed her some papers and tried to amuse her.
“What’s wrong with her?” Arlecchino asked and I shrugged. What’s clear to me is how Sandrone smiled with Scaramouche’s jokes and antics.
“You look frustrated,” Arlecchino teased me as she caught me looking at the two.
“Yeah?”
‘Because I am frustrated I couldn’t get what I want.’
That day, Sandrone ditched our supposedly lunch reunion because she already made plans with Scaramouche. Arlecchino patted my back and said, “Cheer up! Don’t lose hope.”
The bitch called hope again, huh? Is it really good to keep that bitch around?
**
Weeks passed, and Sandrone and I still haven't talked. Nothing happened between us but it seems like she’s giving me a cold shoulder or she’s just really busy dating Scaramouche that she chose to have lunch with him instead of Arlecchino and me. Our weekend jogging stopped as well. Arlecchino invited me for a beer for the weekend and I agreed.
"Stop sulking!" she told me as she gave me a few more cans.
"Can't a broken-hearted girl be sad for a moment?" I told Arlecchino, “And why are you giving me more cans?”
“Well, instead of sulking, drink it away!” she chuckled as I noticed that Arlecchino is a heavy drinker. She looks sober no matter how many she drinks.
“I’m just...sad. You know, that no matter what I do, I’ll be just that friend. I think that’s enough.” I looked down.
“So, if you and Sandrone will just be friends forever, you’ll be happy?”
“That’s… I have no choice but to be. She likes him.” Then Arlecchino’s fist hit the table.
“If she likes him so much, she would go out with him. Not eating instant noodles at home and watching some lame series at her home!” Arlecchino showed me a picture of the messenger app.
It was Sandrone that sent Arlecchino her food and a message stating she’s at home while Arlecchino told her we’re having a beer together and if she wanted to join. But Sandrone declined and said she’ll be busy watching a series. It made me glad to know that she’s not with Scaramouche.
"They're not on a date this weekend?"
"You know what, why don't you just tell her how you feel and be honest with yourself and to her?" Arlecchino suggested.
"What if she rejects me?"
"You move on."
“I’m just… waiting for the right moment.” I reasoned but Arlecchino shook her head.
“There’s no such thing as the right moment, you got to make the right moment yourself or else it would never come to you.”
I decided to be honest with myself and sent Sandrone a text.
Meanwhile, Sandrone at home was eating her noodles. Her phone rang and when she read a text, the noodles dropped off her mouth in shock.
‘I just want to let you know that I’m thinking about you a lot, and today, I miss you.’
“Fuck.”
Then another message came from Bina.
‘I want to see you.’
Then with that, Sandrone hastily put on her coat, grabbed her purse and went out of the house. She called Arlecchino.
“Arlecchino, where is she?”
***
When Sandrone arrived from the beer place. She saw Arlecchino waving at her and a sleeping Columbina with her face on the table.
“She’s out?” Sandrone worriedly asked Arlecchino as she looked at Columbina.
“She had too much beer.” Arlecchino giggled, “I thought you can’t come?” she asked.
“Well…” Arlecchino gave her a knowing look.
“I know that face, Sandrone.” Arlecchino said and grabbed her coat.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s all yours, I have to go. I don’t want to be a third wheel.” Arlecchino teasingly pats Sandrone’s cheeks.
“What are you saying? She likes you! And she’s drunk, who’s going to take her home?” Sandrone panicked.
“Isn’t that the reason why did you come here?”
Sandrone was quiet, she also didn’t know why she rushed to that place upon reading Columbina’s messages for her.
“I-I...I don’t know.”
“Sandrone, I wish you were more honest with yourself.”
Arlecchino gave the two last looks before she left.
‘Fools.’
She smiled and walked to her car.
***
Sandrone dragged the drunk girl to her car. Columbina was awake this time but a handful drunk. Her hands were on Columbina’s waist for support and Columbina’s arms were wrapped around her.
“Get in.” She opened her passenger seat but Columbina shook her head.
“No.”
“Bina, please.” Sandrone looked at Columbina worriedly and Columbina sighed and obliged.
“You’re unfair.” Columbina slurred.
‘Why did she drink so much?’
“Why am I unfair?” Sandrone asked.
“Because you only have to look at me for me to follow you.” Then Columbina cried as the passenger seat’s door was still open, Sandrone rushed to her side.
“Is there something wrong?”
“I hate you, Sandrone.”
“I-I… What did I do?” Sandrone felt a pang on her chest.
Columbina pointed at her, “You make my heart beat fast but you wouldn’t do anything about it.”
Sandrone was dumbfounded.
“You need to return something to me!”
‘Did I borrow something from her?’ Sandrone had a deep thought but she couldn’t think of any.
“And what is it?”
“My feelings.”
The girl grabbed her neck and pulled her by the waist. Sandrone felt a lot of new things at that moment. Like, how warm it feels to have someone close to you, how good it feels to hear someone else’s heartbeat in sync with her’s, how her intertwined hands with someone special felt so right. And how a kiss finally completes the missing part of her life.
And finally, all Columbina’s unsaid feelings were known.
***
When Columbina woke up the next day with a headache, she saw a pill on her bed stand and water to help her hangover.
“What an odd dream.”
‘Maybe Arlecchino took me home.’
She smelled the aroma of a brewing coffee and she curiously followed it.
“I hope you don’t mind, I maximized your kitchen. I didn’t cook though, I called deliveries for breakfast.”
She saw her utensils and breakfast laid nicely on the table and most importantly, the person she yearns for, Sandrone.
‘Am I still daydreaming?’
“Please, sit down,” Sandrone told her and Columbina did and her eyes never left the woman, she’s afraid that her daydream would be stopped if she looked anywhere else.
“You don’t drink coffee,” Columbina said as she looked at the mug on Sandrone’s hands.
“Ah, right. This is for you.” Sandrone put the coffee beside Columbina’s plate, “This is mine, a tea.” Then she smiled and sat on the chair as well and looked at Columbina.
It's funny to think how the two of them are so different and yet maybe, love could happen.
“I wish this is real.” Columbina foolishly said and Sandrone laughed a bit, she put her hands on Columbina’s and the girl was surprised.
“I’ve been thinking about how it feels to hold this hand again ever since last night” she rubbed her thumb on the girl’s hands.
“Y-You… This is real?!”
“It’s not unrequited love if you invest your love with the right person, correct?” Sandrone said and Columbina stupidly nodded her head.
“I believe I am the right person for you, so if you just invest your love in me, just so you know you’ll be in the right hands,” Sandrone confessed and never in a million years, Columbina would think that this moment is going to come one day.
“I thought you liked Scaramouche?” Columbina asked.
“Never! I thought you liked Arlecchino?” Sandrone was a bit hesitant but felt relieved when Columbina shook her head.
“No, she’s the one giving me advice about my feelings for you,” Columbina explained.
“Guess, we’re both silly.” They both laughed at each other.
“I have been thinking about us.”
“Yeah?”
“What if you and I like each other?”
“That'd be great.”
And that bitch called hope didn’t fail Columbina for she’s one of the lucky people that love has been reciprocated.
Are you lucky too? :)