Work Text:
Day 264
It has been a long time. I have read all my books, and now there is nothing left to do but explore the caves. I am lucky, the spider has woven a web that allows me access to another part of the cave, which is mostly dead ends, but at least walking passes the time well enough. I have tried to re-read some of my books, but they don’t hold my attention the way they used to.
Day 263
I am walking. I have not seen many new things, but I remain hopeful.
Day 262
Still walking.
Day 261
Still walking.
Day 260
These caves are very large. I am still walking, hoping that I will find something worth looking at. So far I have found pink and green mushrooms that induce pleasant dreams, though I wake up with a sore back for my troubles.
Day 259
Walking. Again.
Day 258
I have planted mushrooms anywhere there is a place where mushrooms can be planted. At least they can provide some light into my drab and colorless existence.
Day 257
I wonder if I will ever get tired of walking. I am still walking today, all places I’ve already gone. I wish I could see something new.
Day 256
I came back to look at the mushrooms I planted. One of them has grown very large. I think I could use it as a trampoline to reach other areas of the cave. That would be exciting. I could see something new.
Day 255
I found a new place to walk.
Day 254
Still walking.
Day 253
Still walking.
Day 252
Still walking.
Day 251
Still walking.
Day 250
Still walking.
Day 249
I found a cliff.
Day 248
I have been thinking a lot about the cliff.
Day 247
I have fallen before. Once, into the cave with the white crystals. There was moss at the bottom of the cliff, but the fall itself was sickening. I was above, but my body was below.
I wonder if that is what it would feel like to fall off the cliff.
Maybe there’s moss at the bottom.
Day 246
I don’t think there’s moss at the bottom of the cliff.
Day 245
I can’t see the bottom of the cliff. To jump would be to die, and forever is a long time…
Four hundred days is a long time, too. I’ve read all my books, I’ve discovered every part of the cave, I’ve even gazed up the well to see the light from the sun. The bucket came down, and I didn’t grab it. The king told me that if I left the cave, he would die.
Dying is probably a bad thing.
Day 244
Dying doesn’t feel like such a bad thing. Maybe if I sit by the edge of the cliff long enough, it will break off on its own like in the mining shaft. That would save me a decision.
Day 243
I think the king made me wrong. A shade isn’t supposed to want things, like friendship, or the sun, or death. A shade is just supposed to exist for four hundred days until the last day comes, and then the shade will stop existing for good, because the king will not need me any longer.
Day 242
What is the difference from one day to the next, anyway?
Day 241
I found a lump of coal on the ground. A fallen brother, returning home.
…Is home the ceiling of the cave, the floor, or the fire?
Day 240
What is wrong with ending my longing just a few days sooner?