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How could he be so blind as to what was in front of him before?
Yoo Joonghyuk only started feeling this way this year. But it was shocking how he didn’t feel it before. Looking at Kim Dokja’s face, he couldn’t figure out what was bothering him for the longest time. Like the emotionally constipated loser he was, he thought he had hated Kim Dokja for that very reason.
That’s why their relationship had been so strained for the longest time. All because Yoo Joonghyuk was too stupid to realize what it was that truly bothered him.
In class, he found himself always straying off the main topic that the teacher had been focusing on. Whether it be math, physics, biology, he couldn’t keep his eyes on the board. Instead, his eyes had always wandered, meandering around the classroom but always ultimately landing on the person in front of him. Kim Dokja.
Skin that seemed to shine no matter the weather. Even if it were cloudy, it would glow, forcing his eyes to maintain their presence on his face. His eyes, focused directly on the board, sometimes leaving to glance down at his notebook. His hands, fidgeting, or doodling random things in his sketchbook—fingertips sometimes stained with graphite. His lips, bitten as he tries to stave off his boredom.
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t stand any of this—how his eyes simply refused to leave Kim Dokja’s face.
Oh how blind he was. He was truly, truly blind.
Only this year had he finally managed to reconcile his relationship with Kim Dokja. Or rather, it was Kim Dokja who made the first move.
“I thought you hated me!” Kim Dokja exclaimed.
“I didn’t,” Yoo Joonghyuk grumbled. “I stared at you because you were in front of me.”
“Well, you should’ve said that first. With the way your expression looked, nobody would believe that you were just staring because you had no other place to rest your eyes.”
Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t say anything to that. It was true. More importantly, he was lying about the reason, so of course he had an idea of how his expression might’ve been. He would never tell Kim Dokja the truth.
Even if they had reconciled, Yoo Joonghyuk still hadn’t managed to break that shitty habit of his. That’s why, while their teacher had been going over circuits and electromagnetism, Yoo Joonghyuk still couldn’t keep his eyes off.
Kim Dokja’s complexion looked better today than any previous days. There was a flush of pink under his skin, barely noticeable unless you were sitting close enough to observe. It was likely from the snacks Yoo Joonghyuk had been sneaking him at lunch. The rat bastard himself seemed to find it unnecessary to eat anything during lunch. He would surely change that nasty habit of his.
His eyelashes fluttered as they blinked. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn’t stop himself from counting each individual hair. It was mesmerising, how his eyes glistened as he paid attention to whatever nonsense the teacher had decided to teach today.
Even while Kim Dokja paid attention, he could tell that he was tired. His eyes weren’t fully open, his cheek resting on his right hand. His left hand played loosely with a pencil. It would probably be an hour more of this until they were really let go. And even so, they had evening classes to attend as well.
“Yoo Joonghyuk! What is the equivalent resistance in this circuit?” His teacher’s sharp voice struck through, freezing all thoughts in place.
He looked at the board. Crap.
This is why he hated Kim Dokja. With his face in front of him, Yoo Joonghyuk truly couldn’t pay attention at all. His grades had suffered for it too. His teacher was directly on his case after he fell out of the top rankings.
There was some circuit drawn on the board. A battery, in series with two resistors, which were in parallel with three more… No, was he seeing things correctly?
Kim Dokja turned his head, his almost-black eyes meeting his own. “It’s 7.3 ohms, Joonghyuk-ah. Answer now.”
“7.3 ohms,” Yoo Joonghyuk answered, without thinking. He should’ve done the calculations himself, but his fingers had frozen up. Yoo Joonghyuk’s mouth had almost gone completely slack coming face-to-face with Kim Dokja. He could still feel remnants of his breath cooling his skin.
Oh, Yoo Joonghyuk was so screwed.
The teacher’s eyebrows had been furrowed, mouth downturned a bit. Pausing for a second, he cocked his head at Yoo Joonghyuk before looking back to the board. “...Correct.”
Yoo Joonghyuk released a breath as he finally remembered how to breathe. Kim Dokja’s eyes were back on the board again, the back of his head facing Yoo Joonghyuk once more. To say Yoo Joonghyuk was disappointed would be an understatement.
Why wasn’t he paying attention to him instead? Wouldn’t he be a better sight than the circuitry that the teacher was going over?
Kim Dokja was too crazy about his grades.
If he were to surpass him, would he finally glance his way? Maybe he’d make some sort of face as he saw Yoo Joonghyuk’s name above his own on the rankings. Perhaps he’d tease him about finally being able to pay attention in class. Maybe he’d even treat him out at some restaurant, to congratulate him for the special occasion.
But there was a chance that Kim Dokja would hate him. He focused on his grades too much and seemed to care little about others in their class. If he surpassed Kim Dokja… would they not be friends anymore?
He couldn’t think about such strange ideas during class. That wouldn’t happen. He still needed to get his grades back up though.
Maybe he needed more exposure therapy. Kim Dokja’s face was doing strange things to him. Even with the back of his head in view, Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes couldn’t focus on the board. The black strands of hair that were directly in view were more interesting than anything going on in class.