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Suo always watched everyone from the sidelines. He fidgeted alone during recess, watching everyone and their rowdy playing. He tried to join them every now and then, but was always pushed off.
He looked like everyone else— he thought so, at least. No, it was how he sounded. He’d get words mixed up, saying “qîng” instead of “kudasai,” for example. He had an accent most days. He’d even forget the most basic words in both languages. Growing up with two wasn’t easy.
Suo tried to complain to his teachers about it, but they always said that he shouldn’t focus so much on learning Chinese; then he’d fit in more. But Chinese was all Uncle knew, and Mom’s Japanese was still choppy. Suo didn’t want to stop talking to them.
He tried to complain to his parents and Uncle. They said that they were being foolish, and to not let their actions affect him. To be the bigger person. “They see that you’re different, but that doesn’t mean you’re bad,” his mom would say. But that didn’t tell him how to deal with them. Dad talked to the teachers, but nothing came of it. The teachers weren’t being adults for the kids. He was still ignored.
So when a group of kids approached him during recess, Suo was ecstatic. He finally had a chance to make friends. They wanted to play tag, but instead of tagging with your hand, you tagged with the butt of a pencil. Suo asked why.
“Cuz we don’t wanna touch you,” said one of the boys.
Suo didn’t like that, but what was he supposed to do? If he said “no” to the pencil thing, he’d be shoved off again.
One of the girls was it first, and the game was on. It was the most fun Suo had in a while. He wasn’t just watching anymore; he was the one running around, screaming in delight, and playing rowdily.
Suddenly, the tagger was charging him. When Suo tried to run, another boy grabbed him. “Excuse me!” Suo yelled. The tagger was on top of him. Suo saw the pencil arcing towards him, but… that wasn’t the eraser.
Pain.
Suo jolted upright in bed. He couldn’t catch his breath. “Gah!” His hand flew to his face— his missing eye was throbbing. His mind reeled. He thought for a moment that he was in the hospital before he saw how close the floor was. He was on a futon. At Sakura’s place. Spending the night.
A groan sounded beside him. “Hayato…?” Sakura mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
“H-Haruka,” Suo said, trying (and failing) to smile. “Good m-morning.”
Sakura glanced out the window— he still didn’t have any curtains. “It’s still dark out.” He sat up and scanned Suo’s body, noting the trembling, sweating, and paler skin, how he couldn't take his hand off of his cotton eyepatch… it’s odd for a man usually so composed. “You okay?”
“Mhm! Just the- ng- Chinese spirits in there aren’t the happiest right now. Agh.”
Sakura scoffed. “Still on that bit?” He studied Suo a bit longer. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I-I’m fine,” Suo said, rising from the futon. “I just need the bathroom.”
“Alright.” Sakura eyed him suspiciously, knowing there was something he wasn’t saying. “I’ll see if I can scrounge up some pain meds for ya.” He padded off to the kitchen while Suo hobbled to the bathroom. Sakura wouldn’t usually have pain medication stocked up, but Nirei insisted after the Noroshi fight.
Suo knew he was fine; his eye, and everything else attached to it, was long gone. It couldn’t hurt. But sometimes, he just had to see for himself.
Suo closed and locked the door, then flicked on the lights. He squinted, as if expecting his missing eye to be sensitive to light, as he slid off his eyepatch. In place of his right eye was just a sunken patch of skin.
He flinched at the sight in the mirror, though he should be used to it by now. But still, he had to check if something physical was causing the pain.
Suo forced himself to look closer. Nothing seemed inflamed, no bumps. He felt the skin and surgical scars. It didn’t feel swollen, firm, wet. Nothing was off. He was fine. The pain was already fading.
A knock on the door.
“The pain’s going away,” Suo called to Sakura. “I don’t need medication.”
“You sure?” Sakura called back.
“Mhm.” Suo put his eyepatch back on and unlocked the door.
Sakura opened it and studied Suo the way he did before. He seemed satisfied with what he saw, though he still handed Suo a cup of water. “Alright. Go back to bed.”
Sakura watched Suo head back to the futon before putting the pills away. He wasn’t used to seeing Suo in pain like that; he’s never even stubbed a toe. If he was being honest with himself, he was a little freaked out.
He should’ve seen it coming, though. Between his eyepatch, intense diet, and even dressing modestly everywhere (even the beach!), there could’ve been something going on that caused him pain.
Turns out, it was his eye. That wasn’t something he could just casually ask about, even if they’ve been dating for months now. Suo was really secretive about it; he had to come out first.
When Sakura went back to the futon, he plopped down and smooshed his face into his pillow, though his eyes remained fixed on his partner's face. How could one guy have so many secrets?
“Are you okay?” Suo asked, a teasing tilt to his smile.
The words snapped Sakura out of his thoughts, and his cheeks instantly heated at being caught staring. “I-I wasn’t-! I’m fine!” He tried to hide in the pillow completely, but Suo pulled it away.
“C’mon, show me your cute face. I wanna see if you’re okay~”
“Sh-Shaddap!” Sakura smacked Suo’s shoulder, his face now redder than both their namesakes. “Go to bed, asshole!”
Suo chuckled and wrapped his arms around Sakura’s waist, his head pillowed on Sakura’s chest. “Goodnight.”
Sakura just sputtered and gripped the blanket. Any other night, he’d shove him off, but… he had the sense that Suo needed this. Maybe he could start opening up to him soon, if Sakura let him. “N-Night.”