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"I'd actually say life would be better if the world were made of pudding."
Life has actually gotten to the point where their schedules are so hectic they don't get a second to breathe. Jisung feels as if he wakes up and gets on a plane to somewhere across the world — alternatively, he wakes up to get off of the plane and suddenly he's jet-lagged by nine hours. Things move fast. It's not like Jisung can do anything about it, so he goes from city to city, greeting beloved STAY and crouching down into cute poses and reacting as dramatically as he can muster.
It's kind of ironic knowing the only time Jisung feels stagnant is when they're at the airport. He feels like life plateaus if only for a minute, like he has nothing to worry about except for his passport and the constant flashes of cameras in his face and the crowds, God, the crowds that surround the kids when they depart from the building. Now that he's thinking about it, that's a lot to worry about (which might say something about how healthy this idol life is for him, not to mention the rest of the group.)
But aside from all of that, life has gotten to the point where Lee Minho tucks his head over Jisung's shoulder as they prepare to get off of the plane, finally back home. Minho's wearing a hat today: a gray snapback with yellow-ish details, and it bumps into Jisung's cheek when he turns. They're matching since Jisung is wearing a brown baseball hat of his own. They're also matching because Minho's jewelry is silver and Jisung's is gold, Minho has a white fuzzy zip-up on in contrast with Jisung's darker green…
Honestly, they always match. It happens often by coincidence, and everyone talks about it and comes up with theories and little thoughts that aren't always untrue, and Jisung tries not to think too deeply about how it makes him buzz a little.
So right now Minho's saying something about pudding, despite Jisung not bringing that up and instead listening to DEAN's entire shuffled discography in an attempt to breathe. Somehow, the weird comment helps him breathe a little better. Minho tends to do that — help him, that is. It's weird because it's effortless; it often seems like Minho does it for his own benefit, as if supporting Jisung brings him life and joy and all things particularly Minho-ish.
"You just like pudding," he says. It's true. Jisung got a Bubble notification for a video he sent to their fans. He'd excitedly opened it, expecting a gym video or a video of SoonDoongDori, and instead was met with a selfie cam of Minho devouring a cup of pudding. Like anything related to Minho, it's cute: his hair's shaggy and his top button is unbuttoned (oh, does Jisung long to bite) and the way his lips move is simply endearing. Jisung scoffed. Opened the food delivery app and ordered ten packs of that same pudding to their dorm.
From his shoulder, Minho shrugs. The line in front of them hasn't started moving, so he's made himself comfortable there. "You're supposed to be debating with me."
"I'm supposed to be arguing with you?"
"No, I said debating. There's a difference. Should we debate that, too?"
"I—okay. Whatever." Jisung tightens the strap of the cross-body bag he's wearing and shuffles forward, following behind their staff. He bows quickly to the stewardesses and the pilot before being escorted onto the jet bridge connecting the plane to the airport. It may come off as a little bit weird, but this is another kind of peace he revels in: the peace knowing that nobody surrounds him except for the company staff and the members. He's often caught at the back of their group, but apparently, he's leading. Great, because that makes things so much easier.
Someone bumps into his side, and Minho is looking at him expectantly. It's not just him leading, he remembers — it's him and Minho, and that's something Jisung finds himself relaxing at the thought of. But oh, he has to fulfill his unsaid duties and respond to all of the weird things Minho verbalizes from time to time (meaning, second to second.)
"We wouldn't have to buy so much pudding if the world were made of pudding," he concludes. The face mask isn't really assisting how well he's heard, considering his voice is naturally deep and Jisung isn't fond of yelling, but Minho nods like he's making sense, so he continues. "It'd save us some money."
When Minho speaks, he speaks like he sings out every word in that high voice he uses. It wasn't always this way: he used to speak neutrally, less inflection underlined in his statements. Jisung appreciated that Minho, but he loves the Minho now, the one who uses a softer tone whenever he speaks to Jisung and the one who always talks like he's smiling. "Pudding doesn't cost that much to begin with," Minho quips. "Is Han Jisungie running low on funds?"
The jet bridge is nearing its end, so Jisung takes these final opportune moments of stagnancy to reach out and scratch Minho under his chin playfully. "The pudding you buy is the fancy kind, baby. Expensive shit, you know?" His hand pulls away just as the doors open. Jisung is grateful enough to see Minho's eyes crinkle into a smile before they're forced back into the public eye.
He walks, and bows, and waves to flashing cameras that really have no respect for personal space, and bows some more. This feels like the kind of thing Chan would be used to, but as their leader, Chan takes it upon himself to walk at the back of the group to ensure everyone else is okay. Today, Jisung is the first to be seen and the first to get hit with the overwhelming yet familiar sensation of being known.
Don't get him wrong, he loves attention. He wouldn't have become an idol if he didn't, because being afraid and overwhelmed is nothing if he can change some lives in the process. He knew from a young age that he'd be an idol; he knew from a younger age that he lived to create, lived to inspire and be inspired. Things like these — the more painful parts of attention — are just… a lot.
Minho hums next to him, a reminder of his presence, and Jisung straightens his posture, a feeling of ease washing over him.
They fall into line behind the staff, so Minho tucks close to him. They're not touching, technically, but their fuzzy jackets are, and it's enough for the time-being. Under the harsh airport lighting, Minho looks raw. His hair's tinged with the blue undertone Jisung adores on him, his skin is rosy and soft, his eyes are narrowed and his eyebags are heavy. Gosh, he doesn't even have his hat on properly, so his hair's peeking out in all ways messy and endearing. Minho looks beautiful every single day, and—
"Am I not worth buying expensive pudding for," Minho stage-whispers through his mask.
"You're still on this?"
"What? I'm serious. Answer."
Minho looks beautiful every single day, and as much as Minho is beautiful, he's weird. Jisung loves that he's weird. It slaps him in the face with the force of a hurricane and Jisung accepts it wordlessly. The first time they'd met, Jisung stared at him so much and so intensely that Minho thought he hated him when it was really entirely the opposite. It took that, and Minho revealing the odd(er) side of him for them to cling together like magnets from the beginning. It's Minho who intimidated him with his beauty, it's Minho who told him that he never ever really liked girls, it's Minho who asks him bizarre questions while they're getting off a plane since he knows Jisung will smile at them. It's Minho who does everything, and Jisung goes along with it because he's in love with him.
And Jisung does smile, he absolutely does. He smiles just enough for the corners of his eyes to lift. Minho giggles under his mask.
One of DEAN's softer songs is playing through his earbuds. Suitable enough for the person he's with, Jisung guesses. "Mm, well." He thinks about it genuinely — Minho has another weird knack for being able to tell when Jisung isn't totally serious with his answers. Minho reads him like a book. A well-loved book with dog-eared pages and a spine crease from how much it's been read. "You're so worth buying expensive pudding for that even if the world were made out of pudding, I'd buy you more," Jisung says.
It's brief and likely too fast for the cameras to catch, but Minho sucks in a breath and his eyes dart quickly from Jisung to the ceiling. "All of the pudding?"
"Yeah. All of it. I'd sell 'em out."
They shuffle forward and out of the line again. Minho moves closer to him so their fuzzy sleeves rub against each other with every movement. "I'd just get sick."
This time, Jisung chuckles hard enough that his shoulders shake. "I'm not sure what your point is when I'd be the one nursing you to health," he replies instantly, because that's always been the assumption. Minho takes care of him, he takes care of Minho. "'Cause hyung has to get better so he can eat more pudding." Obviously, there are more reasons than that, but they're still very much in public and Minho tends to have physical reactions to those reasons while Jisung is Just A Little Bit Pathetic and sometimes gets embarrassed by his own words.
Unsaid safety rules say that on an escalator, each person should be on their own step. Minho follows closely behind him and steps onto Jisung's. Their sleeves are thankfully very large, and Minho covers the sight of their pinkies interlocking with one another. A movement Minho had so bashfully initiated, of course, because he's a sap for Jisung's sweet talk.
He leans his right elbow against the handrail. Wonders what their fans think they're talking about, and meanwhile, it's just pudding.
"That's the only reason why," Minho mumbles, staring blankly at the steps ahead. "Jisungie would only nurse me to health because he'd spent so much money on pudding and wants me to eat it."
Scandalized, Jisung turns his head to stare at him. Minho is still staring forward with the resolve of a rock, but the corners of his eyes are lifted upwards. "You brat."
"You're missing some of the word. I think you mean your brat."
"I didn't miss anything."
"You wouldn't miss me?"
Minho is so weird and so annoying. Jisung squeezes their pinkies together for the final brief moments they have before they get off of the escalator.
From there, it's more cameras. More smiling, and more talking, apparently. They tell Jisung the mundane things: how's your day, Han-ah, you look cute, are you warm? Jisung responds with equally mundane answers, if not tinged with the company-typical personality he was assigned from day one. He's learned a lot from Minho — out of their group, Minho is the best at showing the cameras only what he wants to show them. He didn't have the pipeline the others did, with their childhoods and early adolescence centering around becoming an idol.
So Jisung knows he absolutely does not want to show the cameras what he truly has with Minho that goes past fanservice and kisses if they're allowed. Partially because they're Korean pop idols, but mainly because he's a possessive bastard.
Before he knows it, the sun is shining down upon him and they're following one of the staff members to their van. Minho takes this moment of fresh air to approach his side once more, their legs moving in tandem. Jisung notices that Minho's bag is on his other arm. It makes it way easier for their arms to brush against each other. It's cold outside and he's walking with a grown man to the van that will take them to the dorm they share and he still brushes their arms together because it's all they really can do in an industry like their own.
Jisung revels in this, though. He revels in matching with Minho intentionally and unintentionally, and having their absolutely lovesick faces captured on camera, and hiding larger confessions of love through small movements. He revels in the attention they get and revels in the feeling of knowing how obvious he is about his love for another guy. Jisung is an idol. Minho is an idol, too. They wouldn't have become idols if they didn't love the attention.
The van is in sight, so Minho should be patient enough and hold back his clinginess until they're in the van. Instead, he tilts his head in Jisung's direction just the slightest bit. An inquisitive movement one may see from the three cats Minho is a proud father of. Jisung deciphers this movement as a needier one — not in that way, but in a way where Minho demands his attention if it hasn't been given in a while.
He's a Korean pop idol, a worldwide famous one at that, and still he carries out the responsibilities of being a good boyfriend — those of which include answering Minho's weird questions regardless of time and place. He hadn't answered the one from earlier, Jisung realizes. He'll step up his game.
When the van is in sight, Jisung moves a little faster to get away from the eye of the cameras. Their staff opens the door, and Minho gives him a brief look back before climbing inside first. Jisung's had a hand on the small of his back the entire time.
"Would you miss me?" It's the same question Minho presented to him before, except slightly reworded. Seriously, there's zero context to this situation. Being Lee Minho's boyfriend is not for the weak-hearted or for those with a low mental capacity. Minho has slid into the seat yet his big eyes are still zoned in on Jisung, blinking slowly.
Luckily for both of them, Han Jisung is nothing short of intelligent, and it's deemed him more than capable of being a good boyfriend for Minho. His heart, however?
"If you were gone, you'd take my entire heart with you." Jisung confesses this quietly amidst the sound of clicking cameras. Here they are: two idols coming home from a week of non-stop schedules and flying planes and taking pictures with people that follow their being. Everything about it is so weird, but he likes that, and Minho likes him. He could do anything with Minho by his side, he thinks. He would do anything if it meant being able to love Minho in the way he does, raw and genuine and hidden between the lines of everything he is capable of showing. "So yeah, I'd miss you."
It's a normal response, but Minho likes normal. Jisung climbs inside the van, beams to the crowd, and closes the door behind him.