Chapter Text
Gnomesees was brought out of their reverie by the incessant ringing of an alarm clock in the bathroom. They looked forlornly down at their finger puppets—one named Valmar, the other Dot—and let out a gnomely sigh. Sat upon their froggy chair, they wiggled each puppet in meek pantomime.
“Oh, Gnomesees, you have such a difficult day ahead of you!” said Puppet Valmar.
“Oh, Gnomesees, I believe in you!” said Puppet Dot.
Gnomesees scoffed. “Queen Linchu has summoned me to court. Not just any court, but Pee Court.”
The finger puppets gasped.
“I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this,” Gnomesees said.
They flicked off the puppets onto the floor and hopped off their chair, giving a mighty ol’ stretch and letting out a squeak before cracking every bone in their little gnome body. It was true, Queen Linchu had summoned Gnomesees to Pee Court. There was some commotion about the throne. Gnomesees did not tend to pay attention to such things, but word around the river toadstool made it sound like Linchu was not the rightful ruler of the Koi Pond. There was another, a princess, who could challenge Linchu for control.
And so it all came back to Gnomesees’s past as a venerated koi’deo clown. There were many words for their kind, but the simple truth was that they had a set of skills very few others could boast. Armed with a bowling ball and a lasso, Gnomesees terrorized the province of Tohr’ontoe for years in service of the Koi Pond. They could only guess that Queen Linchu wanted them to come out of retirement.
To deliver this princess to Linchu so she can cement her rule once and for all.
Gnomesees waddled into the bathroom to turn off the alarm clock. They smacked the thing until it fell off the counter, and then climbed up the drawers until they could look at themself in the mirror.
Would they go back? Was it worth whatever the queen offered?
Gnomesees placed a tiny hand on the glass. Maybe they wouldn’t get a choice.
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The palace was built next to the koi pond the realm was named for. It towered into the heavens, or so it seemed to someone of gnomish stature, and was built of pristine marble quarried from the far-off mines of Ontah Rio. It seemed to shine in the sun—whenever it graced this corner of the world. The swamps that surrounded the palace were a quagmire of danger for would-be invaders, but it also brought a dreary fog that rarely lifted from the earth.
Today was not such a day, and Gnomesees was able to raise their face to the skies and soak in the rays. Their tree-bark home received even less sun than the palace. The pleasure was cut short by an approaching page of the queen, escorted by two burly guards. Gnomesees let out a breath and looked them over: page, human. Guards, skinwalkers. They shifted shape between each step, their faces morphing from eerily beautiful to grotesquely horrifying and then back again.
It was an obvious intimidation tactic. Gnomesees could only think of how tiring it must be to keep up such an act. Exhausted guards did not make for good security. They tucked that awareness away into a dark corner of their mind.
The three representatives of the queen stepped in front of Gnomesees, and the page sneered down at them. “Queen Linchu of the Koi Pond has been waiting for you, Gnomesees of Arkaidia. Are you ready for your audience, or do you require…” The page looked Gnomesees up and down, an expression of disdain clear on their face. “Well. You likely do need to freshen yourself up.”
Gnomesees crossed their arms. “I’m fresh as a daisy. They don’t call this eau d’Missouri for nothin’.”
“Ah. Of course.” The page paused a beat. “Very well. Follow me.” Without waiting for a response, the page turned and began their long march toward the palace doors, not bothering to see if Gnomesees was following.
Gnomesees did, but human legs could cross so much more ground than the stubby little stumps that adorned Gnomesees’s lower half. They broke into a spirited speed-walk, only barely keeping within ten paces of the page as they twisted down corridor after corridor.
When they arrived at the throne room, Gnomesees was out of breath and had a thick sheen of sweat covering their brow. The page nodded to the door guards—these, other humans—and they opened the doors to let them in. Gnomesees stepped past the page and was met by a dazzling display of gems that were inlaid across every feature of the room. The floors, pillars, walls, and ceiling were covered in glittering rocks. It was beautiful.
It was heinous.
At the far end of the gem-lined carpet that led to the throne, there sat Queen Linchu, a small dog on each arm. Gnomesees approached with trepidation, the sweat of exertion mixing now with the sweat of nerves. The page followed close behind, overtaking Gnomesees and kneeling before the throne.
“May I present Gnomesees of Arkaidia, my queen?”
“You may. Rise, Faraom.”
The page, Faraom, did so, and motioned to Gnomesees in an agitated way.
It took a moment for Gnomesees to realize Faraom wanted them to kneel as well.
“Sorry, knees,” Gnomesees muttered, dropping down and lowering their head. “Your Majesty, I’ve come as you’ve asked.”
When no acknowledgment came, Gnomesees looked back up, only to see Linchu diddling with a toy slug. It clacked with an echo in the empty, mighty room.
“My queen?” Faraom prompted.
“Hm?” Linchu sighed and dropped the toy onto her lap, which was quickly snatched by one of the dogs to gnaw on. “Yes, you’ve done as is your obligation. Clap clap for you. But you’ve wasted enough time as it is. You must earn your place in the Koi Pond.”
Gnomesees hadn’t realized their place in the realm was in question. They stood back up, much to Faraom’s chagrin, and stared at the queen. “What is it you require of me, Your Majesty?”
Linchu gave a sinister smile.
“I want you to find Princess Toasty.” She scratched one of the dogs behind their ear, cooing at them, before looking back up at Gnomesees with the bored certainty of someone who’d never not gotten their way.
“I want you to end her.”