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Shane’s parents had just left the cottage after their dinner, leaving Shane emotionally exhausted and Ilya extremely relieved. Shane was showering up now, while Ilya scrolled on his phone.
Ilya Rosanov Updates @rosanovelty
Not new but Ilya Rosanov follows a Hayden Pike hate account btw
boston#1 @bostonraiderpy
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
Ilya Rosanov IS a Hayden Pike hate account idk why ur acting suprised
John Allen @johnallen112
Replying to boston#1
*surprised
Sara!! @lvrgrlsara
@johnallen112 kys
Jamieee @heartsandhockey
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
Isn’t that, like, super toxic??? Those accounts can get rly bad.
AdmiralsGuy @nyjomies
Replying to Jamieee
It’s clearly a joke acct.
DIE METROS @haterboiiii
Replying to AdmiralsGuy
Yes, he should get a real one for hollander lmao
DETROIT!!! @detroitwinslol
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
Agree with the other comments, @IlyaRosanov have you checked out @shollandersnark
ROSANOVSGIRL @hornknee4russianz
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
@ilyarosanov try @metrosslander
xKittyx @catboiuwu
Replying to ROSANOVSGIRL
That’s a disgusting account.
y @user1021139576
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
@IlyaRosanov have u seen @sendingShaneHollanderDeathThreats
Ava @normieez
Replying to Y
Wtf is that username
Salmonz @emmywaters
Replying to Ilya Rosanov Updates
The internet isn’t the place for theories about real hockey players bruh
Freakster @freakingmyfreak
Replying to Salmonz
Wait until she hears about ao3
Ao3?
Ilya blinked, confused. Was that a hockey term? He still felt weird asking about words to Shane, but he figured a hockey one couldn’t hurt.
“Shaneee!!” he called out from the covers. A muffled reply came from the bathroom (and damn, if he had literally any energy he’d be in there with Shane right now, but Shane had said he wanted a bit of relaxation and Ilya was so tired… “What is A oh three?”
Silence, then the cut off squeak noise Shane always made when embarassed. “What??? Where did you see that?”
Ah. so it was weird. “Online, no? What is it?”
“I don’t know.” a lie. But he’d pretend to believe it. “Ok. is not important, whatever.”
It really wasn’t. He refreshed his page.
Hayden Pike ✅ @HaydenPikeReal
Glad to see so much support for me & my best friend on the ice!!
Note: you have blocked this user. In order to interact, unblock them in settings.
Shaydensfeet @shaydentoes
Replying to Hayden Pike
“Friend” uh huh.
Mandy @amandeeznuts
Replying to Shaydensfeet
Y’all are weird. May these people never find RPF 🙏
Pikelike @ilovepike
Replying to Hayden Pike
Bby they think u kissing
metrosvania @gamesandhockey
Replying to pikelike
If the metros ever found shayden i would kms
Evil Muppet @elmosleftnut
Replying to Hayden Pike
@haydenpikereal archiveofourown.org/works/sortby…
There it was again. Weird words and… ao3. Ilya clicked on the link. He immediately lowered his brightness against the blaring white light and tried to read the wall of text on his screen.
Hayden Pike / Shane Hollander (Hockey RPF)
Ah! So here was the RPF mentioned. And it was… stories. Stories? Lots of them, too… about 2000 just under this Shayden tag. He started looking, and looking. By the time the water shut off and he could hear Shane getting ready for bed, he understood the site a bit more.
And a thought was on his mind. Carefully, he opened the side bar and found, towards the bottom of the relationships tags, Ilya Rosanov / Shane Hollander (Hockey RPF) and hit “include”. God, this site was very good at tagging. Immediately, his screen showed 402 works, Page 1/20. Hmph. not nearly as much as stupid Shayden. Well, oh well. The top one was, from what he could tell, a very freaky story about him and Hollander getting it on after a game. He clicked it before he could think.
Oh. oh.
“Ilya?” came Shane’s soft voice, climbing into bed with him. Ilya smiled and put his phone away before settling in to “sleep.” He faced Shane at first, until the other man rolled over to get comfier (and he instantly missed those beautiful freckles), and then, once sure the smaller man was asleep, opened his phone.
He scrolled through the story, skimming the plot parts and trying desperately not to react to the… other parts. It was well-written, a bit off of what they’d normally do, and had a few cute interactions between all the smutty paragraphs. He went to the comments to see what was going on.
HollzySocks
Omg i loved this!!! New update when???
Patriot911
YAYYY NEW DROP FROM OUR SPICY QUEEN~
JaneLovesLily
Cute. kudos <3
Rosa-
Wait.
He scrolled back up.
JaneLovesLily
Cute. kudos <3
He squinted at the username, trying to make sure there’s no other English words those letters could make- but with that capitalization? No. Okay. Damn. So, either he was dealing with a lesbian men’s hockey fan who happened to be named Jane, or this was… Shane’s account. No way. But thinking about it now, the way he’d avoided talking about the site earlier… He scoured the account’s other comments. One replying to a message-
HollanovBestie
Jane girl you’ve been on this site for years are you like an ancient greek god how have you been on ao3 this long
JaneLovesLily
No lol i’m 27 and Canadian
Fuck.
Another, on a fic where the end notes were “you’ll all need a hard drink after this lol”
JaneLovesLily
I like ginger ale better.
Okay, yeah, that’s it. This was definitely his Shane Hollander. Curious, he tapped the users profile to see what they’d bookmarked. And instead of any typical E-rated bullshit, or funny things, or just fan rambles, he found…
What the hell was “fluff”?
1:03 AM
Ilya had been reading for over an hour. Almost every single one of Shane’s- er, JaneLovesLily’s- bookmarks were cute, soft stories about them. One where after a game, they cuddled. One where they went on their first date. One set after the concussion. A few that were just there for the hell of it- just to be cute. And on all of the ones that Shane had commented on, the comments were always-
JaneLovesLily
god i WISH that’s how it happened
JaneLovesLily
If rosanov called me a pet name i think i’d cry.
Wow.
It was so… out of character, for Shane to admit any sort of vulnerability (or read fanfiction, what the hell?) that it almost made him reconsider his whole jane-is-shane theory. But on the other hand… it made sense. One of the bookmarks stood out to him- in Shane’s bookmark tags, he’d put “the forehead kisses are underappreciated”. In fact, several of the ones he’d saved seemed to have that.
Hm. Time to investigate.
__________________________
The next day, Shane woke sleepily in bed and turned to see Ilya’s soft eyes gazing at him already.
“Ilya…?”
He was met in his sleepiness to a slow, gentle kiss on the forehead. Ilya clocked the exact moment that Shane seemed to reboot, going red and then beaming. Shane hugged him, mumbling about sleep and wanting to take five more minutes. Ilya just smiled and nodded before giving him another loving kiss to his temple, smoothing out his bed-tousled hair with his hand gently. The smile didn’t stop until lunch. Score. At lunch, he cupped Shane’s jaw and kissed him, before pressing another to his forehead. Shane’s dopey smile came right back.
2:40 PM
JaneLovesLily’s Bookmarks top Tags
3) Cuddling/Snuggling
He could do that.
“Shaneeee!” he called out, flopping on their bed. Shane padded into the room, seeing Ilya snuggled into the blankets and laughing. “What?” there was another bout of laughter as Ilya batted his eyelashed. “Come here. I am tired,” he lied.
Shane raised his brow but complied, walking over and climbing onto the bed next to Ilya. Immediately, Ilya gathered him in his arms, pulling him close, not how they usually spooned or slept back to back. This time, they were facing each other, Shane's face buried in his neck while Ilya rubbed his back. “You are very cute, you know this?” Shane just grunted and melted into the covers even more. Another great success. He was on a roll.
4:46 PM
Author
Lol sorry this isn’t a new chapter of my other fic, but I wanted to write something happy
ever since that new hate account opened on twitter… it’s actually horrible.
Hate account? Twitter?
Ilya pulled up Twitter on his phone, one arm around the still-sleeping Shane. He typed in (feeling slightly sick as he did so) “shane hollander hate”. The top results? Nothing much. He scrolled until he found a new account, surely the one the author was talking about.
24snark @shanehollandereatglass
New picture just dropped of them at their pool party… Shane Hollander is lowkey fat.
Look at his stomach in this one. No wonder the Metros lost to Toronto.
[attachment]
He looked through the replies, hoping to see overwhelming support- it seemed an even mix, though.
Kattt33 @softee
Replying to 24snark
That’s what a normal stomach looks like, he’s literally a professional athlete???
I’d like to see you in better shape.
MegaChad @sigmamenonly
Replying to 24snark
He’s getting flabby. He’s never been the most attractive, i don’t get the hype or why he was voted most attractive player… his hockey skills aren’t even that good compared to some of the international teams.
God. This guy had no idea what he was talking about, did he? Shane almost single-handedly made the Metros good. He’d beaten so many international teams it was a joke. And, though Ilya may have been biased on this front, he was quite attractive. This man had never seen the Metros play if he thought Shane Hollander had no talent. What a moron. He looked through the other posts by the account.
24snark @shanehollandereatglass
Boston’s not even my favorite team, but Rosanov is way better than Hollander. I don’t
know why the press pretends it’s any sort of competition. He’s worse in every way.
he’s a shame on hockey with his weird attitude, i wouldn’t be sad if someone knocked
him off the ice for good.
Now that got his blood boiling. Out of morbid curiosity and the need to know just how bad this was, he kept looking.
24snark @shanehollandereatglass
Shane Hollander kys challenge
That made him frown. He typed into google, “what does kys mean english” and hit enter.
He didn’t like what he found. But it was a joke, right? The internet was saying it was more of a lighthearted thing when you were mad. He kept scrolling.
24snark @shanehollandereatglass
I wish Shane Hollander lived in america so he could own a gun and finally kill himself
when he loses or smth
Rosanov4ever @81appreciation
Replying to 24snark
Yeah tbh idk how he lives with himself, if I was that weird on live television i’d
kms too. He just needs to get on with it.
What the fuck.
That’s the first thought that goes through his head, then a mass of other swears and angry rants and faint horror. Has Shane seen this? He hoped not. People were really online saying this shit about him, and calling themselves hockey fans? Calling themselves his fans? That last girl’s username had “rosanov” in it. Did people think liking him meant telling Shane to die? That couldn’t be right. Let alone it not being a death threat, more of a… bait? They wanted Shane to do it himself. He felt physically ill for a moment. Shane wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. Especially not over some petty account online. He took a breath and blocked the account after reporting it, a shifting feeling on his chest alerting him to the fact that Shane had woken up. Maybe from all the tension in Ilya.
“Mm. What time is it?” came the sleepy mumble.
“Ah, 5 pm. You can keep sleeping.”
“Mkay.”
Ilya laughed a bit, stroking his hair. “You know you are perfect, yes?”
“Hm?”
“You are perfect. I like you. Do not listen to stupid people who think other stupid things.”
“Ilya, what is this about?”
Ilya pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I just see something online about you, very stupid. You are such screen addict I thought you maybe had seen it.”
Shane shrugged. “Too vague. Whatever. I’m gonna sleep… love you.”
5:23 PM
The thought stays with him for so long he has to say something about it, even if it doesn’t fit his “character” or media persona. He opens the app hesitantly, then replies to the post.
Ilya Rosanov
Reblogging 24snark
You are not real fan if you wish death on others. Do not use my name to say such things.
He knows it’s gonna get a lot of attention- but he can’t stop himself from hitting “post”.
11:46 PM
Something compels him to search for the “janeloveslily” username on every site he can. He wants to know what Shane is thinking- and part of him feels guilty tapping into a private account, but the majority of him knows whatever he finds, he won’t judge, so it’s not really that bad. Or maybe he’s just trying to comfort himself.
He opens instagram, tumblr (which it seems Shane has not yet discovered), and then finally TikTok before finding the account again. This one is JaneLovesLily1410, because somehow both JaneLovesLily and JaneLovesLily81 were taken. How does he know this? He checked, and they were both… too weird to be Shane’s. If he’d been dubious about this being Shane’s account before, he wasn’t anymore. 1410. His phone pin. Shane was a sentimental, sappy guy, it turned out. On the page he found almost no actual posts, but the liked sections were full of edits of himself. Heh. The few posts Shane had made were just short videos of the few games he’d attended, some of Ilya’s sponsorships, etc. He felt a little giddy, especially seeing Shane’s comments in a reply to another person-
Ilya lover @ilyasoup
Yo you should see this edit from his outing last week lol
Jane @janeLovesLily1410
Uhm, no, he looks super uncomfortable, stop spreading the pics of their personal
lives, the hockey edits are good but can’t the paparazzi leave him alone???
Okay, so good to know Shane wasn’t creeping on him like some fans. Not that it would really be creeping for him, they’d slept together. They were together. God, that felt good to say. He looked at Shane’s profile again. And saw it. A near-black background, just a street he didn’t recognize, and some text on screen.
Anyone else feel like you can’t complain or be sad about your life if your s/o has it worse?
What?
He opened google. What is s/o english?
So, in Shane’s case, his boyfriend. Ilya. That basically translated to I feel like I can’t complain or be sad about my life because Ilya has it worse. Which wasn’t true. Nothing about it was true- Ilya didn’t necessarily have it ‘worse’, and Shane could definitely talk about his feelings- god, he hoped Shane talked about his feelings- but he knew he didn’t. Is this why Shane was always “happy”? How much had he been hiding?
Ilya went to comment and realized he didn’t have an account. So he made one. He debated making it super anonymous, but decided having conversations with Shane while pretending to not know him crossed the boundary into weird, and so named his account “LilyLovesJane1221”. Shane would be sure to recognize that.
Lily @LilyLovesJane1221
I think your boyfriend would like to know if you are sad, even if he has other problems.
he loves you.
He put away his phone and went to sleep, kissing Shane’s forehead and pulling him a bit closer. Even in sleep, a small smile formed on the Canadian’s lips.
8:58 AM
Ilya didn’t want to wake up. It was far too early for any reasonable man to be awake. But, then again, Shane Hollander was not known for being a reasonable man, and the shifting besides him and sound of pacing on the tile woke him up.
“Shane? It is so early. Get back in bed. You are supposed to be sleep.”
“Asleep,” he corrected subconsciously, before stopping his pacing to turn to Ilya, “You- that was you, right?”
Ilya knew what he was talking about immediately, but on the off chance he was talking about something else, he asked. “Was what me?”
“You found my- my personal account.”
“Yes.” he admitted it easily. He’d never intended on keeping it a secret- Shane deserved to be able to know, and everyone deserved their own secrets. Shane gaped, though he’d already known.
“It was???” Shane sounded surprised despite this being, in Ilya’s eyes at least, quite obvious- and he suspected that the shock is less from knowing that Ilya was “LilyLovesJane1221” and more about him admitting it outright.
“So you saw…” Shane trailed off.
“Yes, I saw. You should talk to me when you are sad. You know this.”
Shane shook his head. “How did you even- Were you looking for me? Are you stalking my private-”
“No, no,” Ilya rushed to cut in. “No, I just- I saw username, knew it was you. You are only Jane who knows that number.” It technically wasn’t a lie- just, you know, he’d found it on Ao3, not tiktok. He felt a little guilty, and decided to tell the truth. “I saw your name on site, and looked at your accounts…”
Shane sighed. “Yeah, okay. I- just, I’m sorry-”
Ilya shook his head, confused. “Sorry? For what?” Shane looked lost.
“I dunno. Just… worrying you. I’m not supposed to be… complaining, I mean, your life-”
“Shane. Stop. My life is not worse than yours.” he was met with a deadpan stare and amended- “Well- yes, I have my own problems, but does not mean I do not want to hear yours. Ok?”
Shane nodded slowly, but still looked like he doubted it. Ilya grabbed his chin, and gave him a hard look. He finally nodded, relenting. “Okay. Now you say what is wrong.”
“I just- I guess, I- I feel bad… that it took us this long, and that I’m so scared… I’m keeping so many secrets from everyone I love and it hurts. I just… don’t deserve you. Or my friends, or my team-”
Ilya stood shocked, before talking. “No. No, no, you deserve everything, Shane. And you are allowed to have secrets, yes? Everyone gets secrets. Is human right.”
“I almost ruined us so many times, Ilya.”
“So did I.”
“I guess everything is catching up to me now, you know? And I’m so happy but I’m so scared I’m going to panic again and ruin this. I’m so scared. And then I get sad, but I don’t get to be scared, you have so much more to lose-”
“No. Shut up. Is not black and white, no? It’s not, ah, all or nothing. Just because you have maybe not as many things to fear, does not mean is nothing.”
Shane blinked, trying to put together the sentence. When Ilya got emotional his English got more choppy, but still understandable. “I know. I just… I don’t want to weigh you down.”
“Weigh me? What does that mean?”
“Like, you know. Be a problem. A burden.”
“You are never burden. You are my boyfriend. I like knowing when I am helping you.”
Shane nodded. “Okay.”
“Now come. We will eat and cuddle on couch. You can steal my sweater.” That earned a smile and they walked to the living area together, Shane pulling on the raiders hoodie (which made Ilya grin like an idiot.)
11:45 AM
“Ilya.”
“Yes?”
“Did you make a post telling people to stop hating me? On your public official account?”
“... Yes?”