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Jared was….disappointed, to say the least. He had been spurned, but he couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad at Hana. Why should she have chosen him? He was cold and distant, having to keep up his image. She was better off with one of the other guys, someone who could show her his real self.
I was fine
With the men who would come into her life now and again.
He was shocked when he saw Paul and Hana holding hands. He was shaken, and most of all, jealous. Why would she pick him?
I was fine,
Because I knew that they didn’t really matter until you.
She liked Jared, from what he could gather from their meeting on the train. Jared was proven wrong, however, during the fiasco with the posters.
I was fine,
When you came, and we fought like it was all some silly game.
He was sure she’d side with him; after all, he was the first Normal Boots member she’d met. She didn’t really even know Paul that well.
“Hana! Which do you think is more important?”
Over her,
“It’s student government, obviously!”
Who she’d choose.
Jared’s mouth agape, he fished for words as Paul whooped. Jared had been so confident, cool, collected, for as long as he could remember.
After all those years,
So why was his heart breaking now?
I never thought I’d lose.
Jared opened the door to the rooftop garden above Poppy Hall, knowing he shouldn’t be there. He leaned over the rail that ran along the sides of the rooftop, stared up at the unforgiving moon, and sighed.
It’s over, isn’t it? Isn’t it?
He stared at the stars.
Isn’t it over?
He turned, leaning against the rail once more, and stared at the flowers.
It’s over, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it over?
He felt the oncoming tears and kept his eyes open, neither welcoming them nor pushing them away.
You won.
He wondered what she was doing now. Paul was probably holding her tight and promising he’d never let go.
And she chose you.
She probably smiled that adorable, embarrassed smile, ears and cheeks going red.
And she loved you.
She probably kissed him.
And she’s gone.
Jared pictured her in his arms. She looked up at him and smiled. And then she disappeared.
It’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on?
He closed his eyes. Memories flashed through Jared’s head like a montage.
War -
The tournament.
-and glory-
Winning, the group hug.
-reinvention-
Proving himself to his mother.
-fusion-
Meeting Hana on the train.
-freedom;
Walking in the gates of Asagao.
her attention.
Hana playing Stupendous Stomp Sisters next to him.
Who am I now in this world without her?
Hana going with Paul to the Flower Festival.
Petty and dull, with the nerve to doubt her.
The poster fight.
What does it matter? It’s already done.
She and Paul onstage after his win.
In affairs of the heart,
He turned to her, and-
I’m outrun.
Jared’s eyes flew open. He couldn’t think about it anymore.
It’s over, isn’t it? Isn’t it? Isn’t it over?
He spun around, looking back up at the moon. He used to admire its mysterious beauty, but now it just made him feel empty.
It’s over, isn’t? Isn’t it? Isn’t it over?
Jared let his eyes slip downward until he was looking at the ground many feet below him. He was standing right above the entrance to Poppy Hall.
You won-
He glanced back up, truly observing the rail for the first time.
-and she chose you-
He gripped the rectangular top of the stone rail and shook it with all his might.
-and she loved you-
It didn’t budge one bit. Must have been new.
-and she’s gone.
He spent a minute more studying it. It was wide. Wide enough to put a large planter on.
It’s over, isn’t it?
Jared dragged one of the large benches over to the rail and stood atop it.
Why can’t I move on?
He then stepped up onto the railing.
It’s over,
He turned, facing the door of the rooftop garden.
isn’t it?
Jared glanced toward the girls’ dormitory for a second, but looked away quickly.
Why
He took a deep breath and exhaled.
can’t I
Then, he smiled. A real, genuine, glowing, Jared smile.
move on?
And he stepped backward, letting himself fall.