Chapter Text
A hand is waved in front of his face, but Spencer still doesn't budge. That was enough to make Logan worry. He had never seen Spencer like this. Yeah, he witnessed a bit of his emotions while they were talking by the lake at the carnival. But this was different. The other male just seemed completely out of it.
“Hello, is anyone home?” Logan asked while waving his hands more dramatically.
Spencer blinks, shaking his head as he glances over at the athlete.
“Huh?”
“Dude, you seem to be spaced out. Is everything okay?”
Spencer bites down on his lower lip as he glances away from Logan. He then placed his hand on his arm as if it were to ground him.
“I’m fine, it’s nothing.”
“You say that, but you don’t look fine.” Logan reaches out and places a hand on Spencer’s shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. While also offering a reassuring smile. “You know you can talk to me right?”
“I know. While I appreciate it, I just don’t think I’m ready to talk about it-.” He pauses. “Not yet.”
Logan wanted to ask more, but he knew that if he continued to push it wouldn’t help. So, he nods.
“Okay, just know I’m willing to listen whenever you’re ready to talk.”
Spencer looks over at him, giving him a small smile. However, even Logan could tell that was the saddest smile he’s ever seen from the mathlete. All Logan wanted to do was wrap Spencer up in his arms and pull him in close. But it wasn’t like he could do that. The two of them weren’t a couple. And he didn’t want to overstep, not when Spencer was vulnerable right now.
But even after that Logan could tell that Spencer was drifting again, mind somewhere far away. It only made the worry in his chest tighten.
Maybe Logan is someone he could end up talking to. The last thing he wanted to do was put his trauma onto Logan. It’s not like Logan was a therapist. It wasn’t Logan’s job to pick up the pieces that Cole had left behind.
But if he didn’t say something now, he knew that Logan would keep looking at him, like he was about to fall apart. A small sigh escapes him as he scratches the back of his neck anxiously.
“My ex contacted me.” Spencer admits.
Logan’s eyes widened, “Wait… Seriously?”
“Well, he attempted to. He left a voicemail since I didn’t answer.”
Spencer could feel himself wanting to detach from the situation. Talking about this just brought up all the bad memories all over again.
“Spence… You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Honestly, Spencer was grateful for Logan. He really was. But the idea of telling him everything? Terrified him. He didn’t want the other male to think differently of him. Even when he wasn’t the one in the wrong. He still feared that he’d be judged. Even by Logan.
“I just-,” He pauses. Letting out a shaky breath. “I don’t normally open up to people.”
“Take your time. You can tell me when you’re ready.”
Spencer gives the other male a smile. Another breath escapes him. With trembling hands, he pulls it out. His thumb clicks on the voicemail icon and he hovers over Cole’s name. Before he does anything he glances at Logan. Who gives him a reassuring smile. Finally Spencer clicks on the voicemail and puts it on speaker.
“Hey Spencer, it’s me. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me but I have something to say. I’m tired of pretending like I was the one with the problem. I wasn’t.
When we first started dating it was great. Really. I was fine with being patient and giving the reassurance you needed. But that was never enough for you. You barely let me have my way with you in how I wanted to do it. And honestly? It was exhausting. Telling you that I’d continue to wait until you were comfortable to go that far in our relationship.
I couldn’t keep being the one responsible for your feelings anymore. I’m finally with someone that doesn’t make me feel like I have to walk on eggshells. So yeah, I just wanted you to know that. And that I regret our relationship.”
Once the playback ended, Spencer realized he’s trembling. Why did his ex boyfriend still have so much power over him? A gasp escaped Logan after the voicemail ended. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
“Spence… What he said was awful.”
Logan looked at Spencer with gentle eyes. He couldn’t even imagine how anyone would treat their partner like this. Someone that they claimed to love.
“Did he really pressure you?”
Spencer bit down on his lower lip. Clutching his arm with his hand like a lifeline.
“He didn’t at first. When we first started to date he was the guy that anyone would’ve wanted to be with. But by the end of it he became a different person. I kept telling him how I needed time before we ever went that far. And it was like every time I said no, he made me look like the bad guy.”
Logan scrunches up his nose in disgust. He didn’t understand how someone could be that cruel. Especially when it comes to another person’s boundaries.
“That guy sounds like a complete jerk. And you deserve someone who would respect your boundaries when they’re placed.”
Spencer can’t help but give a smile to Logan. Talking this out really was helping a bit.
“That wasn’t the only thing he did though.”
Logan blinks, “It wasn’t?”
“Sometimes when I denied his request he’d find ways to basically punish me for it. Like he’d give me the silent treatment. Or he wouldn’t give me any sort of affection when I initiated it. It’s why the idea of being with someone new frightens me. I don’t want to have to go through that pain again.”
Logan could feel his throat tighten as Spencer explained everything. And he could feel his hands curl into fists. If Cole were here would give that guy a good punch. But right now the thing that mattered was Spencer.
“Maybe I should’ve tried harder. To keep him happy.”
This causes Logan to reach over and place his hands on Spencer’s shoulder. Forcing the other to look at him, but in a gentle way.
“Spence… Look at me.”
The mathlete doesn’t. Looking at Logan was hard enough when he could already feel the tears begin to fall. But Logan insisted. So, he places his thumb on Spencer’s chin while his index finger remains underneath. Then, he gently tilts Spencer’s head to look at him.
“None of this was your fault. You hear me?”
And that was when the tears started to fall. To have someone listen to him and tell him he wasn’t in the wrong? It meant everything.
“Can I hug you?”
Spencer hesitantly nods. It didn’t take long for Logan to engulf Spencer into a hug. Pulling him close to him. Spencer hesitates for a moment, before wrapping his own arms around Logan’s waist. Allowing himself to break down in the crook of Logan’s neck. He didn’t realize that all he needed was for someone to listen.