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“I can’t keep doing this for you. It’s not right.”
“I’m not a child anymore, I can’t keep playing your puppet”
“You’re not my dad”
“No.”
…Were all very rational responses to Rock’s latest request. Yet Yang Cheng remained silent with his head hung low, gnawing violently at his lower lip.
“Giving your old man the silent treatment? Fine by me. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. I have to say, though, you’ve reached quite the status, young man. Just don’t forget who it was that got you here.”
Rock then flashed a smirk, patted Yang Cheng on the shoulder and left the room, leaving the poor guy dumbfounded and abandoned. Rock’s firm grip and thinly veiled threats lingered, though. Yang Cheng wasn’t stupid, despite his reputation of being awfully docile and unquestioning. He knew very well that playing hero came with the cost of his morality. He was all too familiar with the sickening twist in his gut every time the television broadcasted the aftermath of his heinous acts. It felt worse when it publicly praised him for his private misdeeds. Of course, Yang Cheng wouldn’t continue on like this if it only brought him misery. The real reward came in the form of a debrief after every job with the big boss of MG himself. At every debrief, Yang Cheng always felt an overwhelming surge of euphoria. Seeing the smile on Rock’s face, the sheer intensity of praises he would sing, made Yang Cheng’s heart soar. Even watching abstract numbers increase on his wrist brought him immeasurable reassurance at times. If only for just a few moments, he would delude himself into ignorant bliss. He would play into the hero fantasy he’s meticulously constructed in his head. He would look to his wrist for proof, and smile.
But even all of that would all come crashing down whenever Rock decides that “MG’s golden child” should be put to use once more. He’d call Yang Cheng over to his office and sit him down for a “discussion”. Majority of the information Rock spewed would go in one ear and out the other. All Yang Cheng could really worry about during those discussions was whether Rock also called Dragon Boy his golden child. That thought alone was usually all the motivation he needed to obey Rock’s next commands. His life revolved around chasing the next high, the next rush of validation, the next moment of relief from the constant threat of replacement.
Today was different. He left their usual discussion feeling sick and enraged. It’s not even as if Rock had crossed a serious line with his demand today, Yang Cheng just felt unusually furious. Perhaps, a part of it was that Rock often twisted current events to brainwash Yang Cheng (something he forwent this time). Most times, Yang Cheng didn’t even believe Rock’s most blatant lies. Yet, they still provided solace on the nights he felt particularly shameful. However, there was no fabricated story today. No big talk about how Yang Cheng’s a real hero. Just the usual demands and some buttering-up. It appeared Rock couldn’t even justify this one, or, if he could, he couldn’t tell Yang Cheng. Sure, Yang Cheng’s killed heroes before but… Moon’s a young, retired hero who poses no threat to his position. The nauseating twist in Yang Cheng’s gut told him it was inhumane. He didn’t even know the girl personally, but he’s seen advertisements. She acts all bright and bubbly, talks as though she’s full of life. Who knows how much of it is an act. Whenever he happened to see her billboards, he always subconsciously wished he could protect her and all young heroes from this hellscape of an industry. It was a shock when Yang Cheng heard about Moon’s livestreamed death. It appalled him that such a haunting moment was sensationalised and monetised. Of course, the shock wore off quick when the higher-ups informed him of what really happened to Moon. Silently, he was overjoyed…. That was until today’s meeting. Moon’s in her early 20’s, the same age Yang Cheng was when he was commanded to kill Ghostblade. Being young and malleable, Yang Cheng obeyed every command. His need for validation must have given him guts too, since the cocky youngster felt capable enough to challenge MG’s most lethal assassin. He heard Rock’s shallow explanation for why this murder had to be committed and felt too afraid to press for more. He was too afraid of his fragile hero illusion to come crumbling down if he knew. But Yang Cheng was not 20 anymore and he could create the opportunity to spare Moon’s life.
{later that day}
“About that job. From earlier today.” Yang Cheng hated himself for reducing the life of another human to just a “job”, but it felt far too painful to acknowledge what he was really paid to do.
“I assume you’ll be right on it, as usual. Isn’t that correct?”
“Well I was just thinking- Look I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done for me, but I just can’t do this one.”
“Ah, no worries. I always knew this day would come. Didn’t expect to have to part ways so soon.” Rock toys with his cigar and said this as if it meant nothing
“What, no, sir please. I’d still like to…” work with you? He hated the sterile word. What kind of monster considered this stuff work?
“No, no really, I insist. Like I said, the choice is yours.”
Rock’s ultimatum echoed in Yang Cheng’s head. If standing up for himself always felt this nauseating, maybe he’d rather remain swept off his feet by his delusions of heroism and just obey Rock goddammit.
“Cheer up, young man, don’t look so dejected. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“No well. It is but-”
“So, there’s no problem then. Maybe you’ve just outgrown this hero stuff. Retirement might suit you.” Rock laughed after this statement and maintained uncomfortable eye-contact with Yang Cheng.
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“Sure, but I’m giving you two choices now. It doesn’t matter to me what you do…after all, Dragonboy can always take care of it.”
Yang Cheng’s heart sank and it showed on his face, just what Rock wanted. He imagined Dragonboy receiving all the praise he should’ve gotten. He imagined being outcasted by everyone in his life. Yang Cheng would be nothing more than a no-name failure with a trust value of 0. He recalled his past years of performing for Rock. Years of asking how far, how high, just to be replaced. If he stopped doing this whole hero thing, where would he even go? For as long as he can remember, MG has been his only family. As much as he hated to admit it, Yang Cheng was a slave to sunk cost. Feeling defeated and optionless, he put on a grin and began to talk.
“I’ve changed my mind. I’ll do it.”
“Please, don’t force yourself. I’d hate to be a bother.”
“It’s not problem, sir. Consider it done.”
“There’s my boy. I knew I could rely on you, E-soul.”
Yang Cheng gave a weak laugh, put on his helmet and got up to leave. The self-satisfied Rock chuckled and began to make arrangements.
{like a while later idk how long maybe a week maybe a month however long it takes rock to send yang cheng to a deserted island}
In Yang Cheng’s childhood, his mother had frequently complimented his eyes, calling them “so pretty” and comparing them to the ocean. This quickly became something he cherished for the rest of his life. Yang Cheng clung to those memories because his self-worth depended on them. Now he stands, watching the waves, ocean navy against ocean navy, wondering when his life had turned so blue. He knows it’s too late to withdraw now, so he might as well just swallow the guilt. It’s what he’s done his whole life, he tells himself. So, there’s no point beating himself up about it now, right? He treads across the sand painfully slow, dreading what he’s about to do. As he approaches Moon, he finds that she looks miserable. The irony almost makes him laugh, but it mostly makes him wonder. What on earth could have happened in her life to lead her up to this point. Everything about her will remain a complete mystery to Yang Cheng for the rest of his life, and he will nobody to blame for that but himself. If he kills her now, he’d be putting her out of her misery. He’d be doing her a favour. Yang Cheng fiddles with his mechanical hand as he sucks in a deep, unsatisfying breath of air.
However, his mental preparation gets cut short by the formation of a portal next to the girl. He feels a sense of relief and tries to supress it. Perhaps, this is her chance to escape. He prays to whatever god exists to please let Moon flee. But she does not. Instead, a brown-haired boy, a budding hero, steps out. He’s never seen anyone as happy as Moon in that moment. Yang Cheng feels he can almost resonate with the Moon’s absolute euphoria in that moment. Yang Cheng watches as the two revel in their reunion. He justifies this to himself as just finding the right moment to strike. As the conversation between the two dies down to only eye contact, Yang Cheng realises there exists no such thing as “perfect timing”, only the illusion of choice and inevitable guilt, something he should have already learnt in his teenage years. With that as his final thought, Yang Cheng strikes. In just a millisecond, the girl is gone. The light is zapped from her eyes and it’s all…over.
Yang Cheng had planned to flee before he could see the pain on the boy’s face, but he can’t help himself from catching a glimpse. It shatters him completely and Yang Cheng feels that he’s surely a monster. He of all people should know how it feels to lose a loved one, yet here he is pulling the trigger. He sprints back down the shoreline, until his breath becomes short and his lungs constrict. He doesn’t allow himself to stop despite feeling pain everywhere. After all, a filthy murderer like him doesn’t particularly deserve the comfort of rest. But he also knows that the comfort will find him regardless. The buzzing in Yang Cheng’s fingers and the pounding in his head will be made worth it when he sees the pride in Rock’s eyes later. Yang Cheng’s selfishness consumes him when he remembers the praise he’ll be showered in. Yang Cheng can beat himself up all he wants, but he just made Rock proud. For the feeling of acceptance and comfort, he would do anything. Anything to be Rock’s golden boy again. Anything to prove himself. Nobody else did what he just did, not even Dragonboy. Yang Cheng checks his wrist through blurry eyes and feels unstoppable. His eyes light up and he smiles, feeling the rush he would do anything to achieve again.