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XX/XX
A lot of things have happened recently. My best friend of almost three years, Punchy, has gone missing, and everyone seems to have completely forgotten his existence. I tried confronting the Resident Rep about it, but it looks like they don't know anything either. But I'm sure that he existed! My space parka is proof of that!
It's getting difficult to remember his face though... I'm scared I'll forget him altogether...
XX/XX
I've been trying to keep myself busy with other things lately. It's the least I can do after how I scared everyone the day before. Nibbles still looks worried for me. I feel awful about it.
I had tea at Judy's house to make up for missing out the other day.
She really is a good person. She's so kind and polite to me, even after how I've treated her, and yet...
It's my fault. Why can't I get myself to like her? What's wrong with me?
XX/XX
I don't know where the Resident Rep's gone. I couldn't find them today. Though... it's nothing new. They've been disappearing and reappearing from the island for as long as I've known them, but every time I think about it now, I get a pit in my stomach and a chill down my spine. But why? There's nothing different about how they've been acting.
A string on my parka came loose today, and when I tugged on it, it unravelled so quickly that I had to stop myself from pulling on it any further. I really, really, don't want to ruin it. I can't.
XX/XX
I still haven't seen the Resident Rep. Maybe I'm just looking at the wrong time. Maybe it's nothing to be worried about, and I'm overthinking things.
Speaking of being worried, I overheard Chrissy telling Sherb I look 'disheveled'. She might be right. Everyone on the island's been looking at me with a sad expression whenever I go to greet them.
I feel so horrible for making everyone worry so much that I just want to stay at home, but that would just make things worse.
I'm too tired to do anything else today.
XX/XX
Nibbles moved away today. It's so sudden... I can't make any sense of it!
She wouldn't just up and leave without telling anyone. She always loved it here. Maybe even more than I do. She was friends with everyone, absolutely everyone, even him. How did I not notice in the first place? I was so focused on the others worrying too much about me and the Rep that I didn't even realise she was packing her things to move yesterday. I'm such a selfish idiot. I'm supposed to be her friend, but I didn't even say a goodbye to her on her last day. Why? Why????
As much as I don't want to believe it, it's the truth, and there's nothing I can do about it. Nothing but an empty patch of grass stands where her house used to be. I thought I saw the Rep standing by it, but my eyes were just playing tricks on me. I've been having headaches and dizzy spells a lot more than usual lately, so no surprises there...
XX/XX
I tried going out, but the sun felt like it was blindingly bright today, and every sound seemed too loud all of a sudden, so I turned around and headed back in before I made it out of the backyard.
I don't know how to convince myself to get out of the house again. Of course I don't want to become a shut-in! I want to go outside and talk to everyone! I really do love going out and living on this island, but the only thing that relaxes me now is being in the darkness of my room and listening to my music player... I feel so much dread just thinking about it.
My head is still spinning as I write. I hope I'm not getting sick, because I don't know what I'll do then. I know I could go to a doctor off the island, but at the same time, I can't. It's not that I'm too exhausted to hop on a plane anymore, but I just... can't. It feels like nothing will happen if I try to leave and go to one, and I don't know why.
XX/XX
I forced myself to go out today, and I met Judy by her fence while she was watering her roses. We got to talking about the new empty plot of land, and she told me she couldn't remember who'd moved out for it to be there when I asked. I had that awful pit-in-stomach feeling all over again, but I couldn't feel surprised either, oddly enough. Chrissy and the others told me they don't remember a name like that either.
No one else could recall a thing about her.
What if I really am the only sane one on this island?
XX/XX
What do I do? Maybe there's just something wrong with me, not them. It can't be.
The thought has been terrifying me. I used to kid about it with him all the time, but now I wish I hadn't written it down. I wish he was here. Then maybe I'd have something to cling onto instead of this stupid parka.
I don't know whether someone new bought the plot of land. I haven't wanted to go out and talk to anyone else since yesterday. Just the Rep.
XX/XX
My head hurts and every sound feels like someone's screaming into my ears even when I'm alone in my room. I don't know if the Rep came by today or not, but I feel like I need to talk to them so urgently that it makes me sick.
The parka is so faded you can hardly see its original color now.
XX/XX
I finally caught the Rep today. I ran out of my room when I saw them from the window, and was out of breath by the time I reached them. They acted like they didn't know anything, and told me to go rest up like before. But I don't think anything will change no matter how much I rest.
Something tells me that all this will finally go away if they tell me the truth. I have to know. I need to.
XX?XX
I got them to talk. I know everything now.
They remember Punchy. Of course they do. And Nibbles, and a long list of names I myself can't even recall that makes my head spin just thinking about it.
None of that matters now, though. None of it. I can't even bring myself to blame the Rep or whatever they are for replacing all of them like toys that've served their purpose. All of it seems meaningless now.
I still want to see him, though.
Even if everything I think, say, or do's all up to someone else, maybe some things'll just never change about me.
Well, in that case, I guess that's all, then.
Goodbye, to everyone and this island. I'm sure the Rep'll be happy with what I'm going to do next.
I wonder if Punchy's saved any snacks for us.
-
The Rep stands at the door of the all-too-familiar house, having carelessly trampled across the haphazard mass of yellow tulips that marched beyond her garden. Jeez, they really need to dig some of those up sometime, don't they... But that's for another time; they're here for something more important than that.
"███! It's me! Are you in?" They call, knocking on the wooden door with one hand on the doorknob. Nothing but silence, until they're greeted with a message from her.
"I've gone out for a stroll. -███."
They glance back at the words in confusion. On a stroll? But wasn't she... And they'd ran a full marathon across the island making sure everyone was in place just earlier. She couldn't have gone out by now; they would know.
"That's weird," the Rep mutters, tapping one foot in thought. They exclaim and reach for their hat as a strong breeze nearly sends it flying; the door swings open as well. They aren't surprised. They don't expect ███ to bother with trivial things like remembering to lock it at this point.
"Um... Hey, ███, I'm coming in, alright?" Not a peep in response. They sigh and grope around on the wall in search of the light switch; ███ has drawn the curtains closed, so entering the room is like stepping into a black void.
As the light flickers on, another strong gust of wind blows through the room, making the curtains sway back and forth as if they're about to fall off their hooks. Something else sways in the corner, and the door slams behind the Rep, as if locking them inside.
Great. Just great.
███'s limp body hung somewhere above her bed, and a dim memory floats up from the back of their head: A piñata hanging from the ceiling, ███'s cheers, and birthday cupcakes.
The dull life they'd last seen in her eyes had faded away overnight.