Chapter Text
Hector sits on the porch swing, his legs swinging through the air. They're too short to touch the ground, and once again he finds that he can't wait until he's bigger. He's the older brother, he's supposed to be big enough to protect the little ones. Especially the babies still in his Anne's belly.
His mother is at the hospital with them now, and Baba will be joining her as soon as he's released from work. When Anne had had to go, she'd told him to look after the others. She hadn't wanted to leave him in charge like this, but they both know she didn't have much of a choice.
Hector had assured his mother he could handle it, that if he needed anything he knew the neighbor's numbers. That was an hour ago, and at the moment the house is quiet. Alexander is playing one of his video games, Hector will have to get him to stop in about half an hour. The twins are doing their homework together, or were when he checked ten minutes ago.
Enough time to have a few minutes to himself out here. The sun is bright overhead, despite how cloudy it was just hours ago. They'd thought it would rain, in fact. He thinks he likes this better, warm sunshine on his face. The birds are chattering their evening calls in the trees overhead, and though he's lived here all his life, known these same calls, he feels like something is missing to them.
He always feels like something is off. The house too small, their environment too green. The river at the park - the one they never go to frequently enough - too calm and cool. Hector sometimes wonders what it says about him, that he finds so many things out of place in his life. It's his life, the only one he has. He's never known another, so why does he feel this way? Maybe it'll go away when he gets older.
The door clicks open behind him. Hector glances over his shoulder to see his little sister walking towards him. On tiptoe. She freezes when she catches him looking. Hector chuckles.
"Hi, Cass-Cass."
"Hi Hector!" She beams at him, abandoning her attempt to sneak up on him. "Watcha doing?"
He shrugs. "Just thinking, really."
Cassandra blinks at him. "By yourself? You aren't supposed to think big things alone. That's what advisors are for."
Hector stares at his sister for a long moment. Where did she hear that? It's not something either of their parents have ever said to them, and Hector didn't even know she knew the word 'advisor'. But even if it's strange, he can't deny that it's sweet for her to be so concerned about him. And he wouldn't say this is big thinking, but then maybe it would seem so to a six-year-old.
He offers her a warm smile. "I'm not alone. I have you, if you want to be my advisor, as you say."
In a flash, Cassandra is climbing up onto the porch swing next to him. The thing begins to swing with her movements, making it harder on the little girl. Hector is debating jumping off to stabilize it for her when she finally manages to clamber up. She settles quickly, nestling into his side.
They both stare into the trees for a few minutes, just letting the sounds of the world surround them. Cars rumble by on the road on the other side of the house, the side facing the real world. But the yard, that green space, that was always just for them. Takes him back, Hector sometimes thinks, to other times. He's stared at the same knothole on one of the trees for three passing cars when Cassandra nudges him.
"So what are we thinking about?"
Hector bites his lip for a heartbeat. "The house feels too small sometimes. Or, not the house, exactly."
It's just a house, and he loves his siblings. Sure, sometimes Alexander gets on his nerves and there's only so far either of them can be separated. And he remembers what it was like when the twins were babies and more space would be great when his new siblings are born and constantly crying, but it's never been the structure that was the problem to him. He doesn't know how to explain what he's feeling. But maybe he doesn't need to, not when Cassandra nods, cheek still pressed to his shoulder.
"Like people are missing, you mean?"
He stills. "Yes!" That's exactly right. Sometimes he'll turn to talk to someone that isn't there, was never there. An instinctual motion with no reason for its existence.
Cassandra nods again, pulling her knees up to her chest. She's little enough to manage it, but Hector, at twelve, can no longer do so without turning to take up the entire swing. "I know how you feel. But it'll be better when the babies come. A new brother and sister."
Hector shifts to blink at her. "We don't know what they'll be yet. Anne and Baba didn't want to know until they met the babies."
Cassandra smirks. "I'm not wrong though. You'll see."
"Fine." He ruffles her hair. "I guess I will. Did you finish your schoolwork?"
"It was easy!"
"Want me to come check it anyways? Haylan's too?"
Cassandra shrugs, but slips off the swing regardless. Hector follows her into the house, only stopping long enough to nudge Alexander. The other boy gives him the stink eye when Hector tells him to get off the game, but he at least listens.