Chapter Text
Mike’s POV
The basement is dimly lit. I’m still replaying the laughs my friends and I shared during our latest campaign in my head; probably the last campaign we’ll have in a while. The party: Lucas, Dustin, Max, and Will have all gone upstairs already, so I’m left alone with my thoughts.
Lots has happened, including all the upside-down bullshit I don’t want to think about. I’m glad Max is awake, I’m glad Will came out, but I can’t believe El is gone. I really miss her, but something feels… off? Is that the right way to describe it? Insensibly, I couldn’t tell her I loved her back when she said it to me, before she left for good. I’ve always had this weird problem with telling her that, that’s why we would fight.
I walk up to the shelf where the party’s DnD binders are lined up. I carefully slide mine at the end next to Will’s. My binder is decorated with blue letters while his is decorated with yellow; our favorite colors. I feel like crying.
I let out a long sigh as I look around the room. All the memories flood in. Movie nights with the party snuggled up on the couch together with popcorn scattered all over the floor, 10-hour long DnD campaigns, Lucas and Dustin bickering over the dumbest things, my stash of comics that Dustin would flip through and carefully review, my mom yelling down the stairs at us for being too loud, Will always beating me at video games on the Atari…
Will
Will
His old drawings are still hung up on the walls. I recognize the illustration he made of my DnD character, the Paladin. I cherish his drawings so much that I keep a binder full of the ones he drew for me hidden under my bed. Flipping through them helps me calm down; I could never tell him that though, it’s way too embarrassing. I can remember each one he made just for me, and I have the painting he gave to me in Lenora hung up on my wall.
My heart skips a beat.
And wait… what about the painting? If El commissioned it, then why did she act confused when I thanked her? There’s no way in a million years she didn’t commission that painting. Because… why else would Will give that emotional speech in the van? I furrow my brows
Back then, when I was looking into his eyes, he seemed genuine. All the words that came out of his mouth were so thick with raw emotion.
”And if she was mean to you or— she seemed like she was pushing you away— it’s probably because she was scared of losing you, just as you’re scared of losing her. And… if she was going to lose you, I think… she’d rather just… get it over with quick… like ripping off a Band-Aid… Because losing you— it just hurts— it hurts too much. So yeah— El needs you Mike. And she always will.”
Will was close to tears as he was giving his speech. And all I did was stare at him like an idiot instead of comforting him. Why did El mention to me in one of her letters that Will was making a painting for a girl? Why did Will tell us while he was coming out to us that he had a crush on someone who wasn’t like him? There’s no way those things are related, right? And… if you recall what Will was telling me in the van, and assume it’s not about El, then who else would it be about? That means Will…
“HOLY SHIT” I find myself yelling out loud.
“Mike, what the hell?” Holly says to me, poking her head down the stairs. I didn’t realize how loud I said that.
“Oh, sorry… I’m just… hanging out! Yeah…” I shoot her an awkward thumbs up as she rolls her eyes at me and retreats upstairs
Ok, where was I… Will, right. In the van, If he was talking about himself instead of El, then that means he…
Unexpectedly, I feel my face rapidly heat up as my eyes widen. I begin to pace around the room.
How do I feel about this? How am I supposed to feel about this? Better question, is this ache I’m feeling in my heart wrong? All this feels foreign to me, but I still understand it, somehow.
I bite my lip. William Byers, the first friend I’ve ever made, my best friend in the world, has been in love with me all this time and, like a jerk, I’ve been too oblivious and caught up in my head to notice. And the most unbelievable part,
I’ve been in love with him too, from the start.
Will’s POV
I feel the cold breeze brush past my face as I stand on the Wheeler’s front porch grinning and waving goodbye to my friends that have already gotten on their bikes to leave. It seems to be about 8:00 PM or so. I watch them all disappear further into the night.
It’s officially summer now. We’ve all graduated so it’s time to prepare for college. I’ve already applied for a couple schools. I wonder where I’ll go… I wonder where Mike will go… My breath hitches. No, I shouldn’t be thinking about him. After all, I’m over him now. I’ve been over him, and it will stay that way. It will.
I turn around to face the front door. I can see the warm light pouring through the window, inviting me. It contrasts the cool weather outside. My hand reaches for the doorknob and turns it. I step inside meeting the warmth. The first thing I see is Mike standing there a few feet away all wide-eyed, staring straight at me. I raise an eyebrow “Hey, you okay?” I ask him. All he does is nod and quickly walk away, to his room probably. He looked troubled. But I know that troubled expression. I can remember him making that exact face when we were little kids; I never found out why though. There’s probably something he hasn’t told me. My eyes look down at my feet as I frown. I thought we told each other everything, that’s what best friends are supposed to do, right?
I walk into the living room, where Holly and Mrs. Wheeler are sitting, to tell them goodnight. Then, I slowly descend the creaky stairs down into the basement where I’m staying temporarily. After changing and brushing my teeth, I pull out the mattress I’ve been using as my bed, and crawl under the snug covers.
I’m tired but I can’t sleep. I lay awake staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, thinking. I’ve been looking at the same spot for so long, I’m starting to see moving shapes that aren’t there.
There’s no way I still love Mike. Like I said, he’s just my Tammy. I hate how sensitive I’m being. Tears well up in my eyes. Huh? Why am I tearing up? What’s there to be sad about? Mike was just a silly crush. I’m sure I’ll meet someone else one day and everything will fall into place.
So… Why does my heart ache?