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“If this is a joke Jigen, it’s not very funny,” Lupin eyed his friend as he slid on his jacket. It was nearly time for them to leave, a beautiful antique clock said to contain a treasure map expecting them.
Jigen ran a hand down his face, “I wish I was kidding. He’s asleep on top of the damn car.”
“Didn’t he say he was gonna meditate while we were gone?” Lupin had planned the job with only having Jigen in mind. They happened to run into Goemon a few days ago, offering their companion to come along for the next heist but this one was already planned. Goemon hadn’t minded, recently returned from a training trip to Japan.
“Yeah and I guess his meditation made him tired!” Jigen said with a groan, fishing in his pocket for his cigarettes. “He’s completely out cold man.”
“Sure it’s not that state he gets in when he’s really meditating?” Lupin crossed his arms, knowing a few times Goemon would fail to respond to them when he was in the zone.
“I can hear him breathe and he’s lightly snoring. Dude’s out cold.” Jigen replied, quickly lighting his smoke, “so what do we do?”
“Dammit. Let me see him.” Lupin said as he stomped out of the small house they’d been staying in, Jigen behind him as the two approached the car.
Sure enough, there was Goemon in his usual meditation pose. Except instead of sitting up straight and looking serene, he was slumped over some. And in fact snoring lightly. Any other time, Lupin would love this and go fetch his camera so he could tease Goemon later on it.
“Well only one thing to do. Wake him up.” Lupin said with a nod of his head, a confidence in his voice as if that were the easiest thing in the world.
Jigen immediately recoiled, “are you kidding me? Last time we tried to wake him up he nearly decapitated us!”
“What do you suggest? We need the damn car unless you wanna hoof it to that clock and run back!” Lupin jerked his head Goemon’s way, dismayed to see no change in the man’s posture or expression.
“I suggest not getting decapitated. He’s really out which means he’s extra dangerous waking up suddenly.”
Goemon usually slept light, ready to leap into action at a moments notice. That kind of Goemon was easy to wake up. The deep sleeper Goemon was another story.
Lupin groaned, “man what the hell.” He took a few steps back, cupping his mouth, “hey Goemon. Go Go. Buddy, wake up. Please?”
Goemon’s head dropped further onto his chest.
Jigen joined Lupin’s side, cupping his mouth as well, “Goemon come on man. That’s bad for your back you know? I should know!”
Jigen and Lupin sighed in sync, stepping further back before trying again but louder.
“Goemon quick look! Evil ninjas!”
“Goemon quick look! Boobs!”
Jigen dropped his hands and punched Lupin’s shoulder, “really Lupin?”
“Hey it’s a perfectly valid thing to draw ones attention to! More creative than evil ninjas.”
“Man I hate you.” Jigen glanced at his watch, “shit we really have to get going. What the hell do we do?”
Lupin crossed his arms, tilting his head as he started thinking.
“What if we just, leave him there?”
Jigen’s hat nearly fell off in shock as he shouted, “what??”
*
Goemon slowly woke up, tensing as he regained consciousness before his body relaxed again. He opened his eyes, squinting at his surroundings as he yawned into his hand.
“Did I fall asleep?” Goemon leaned his neck back, stretching it out as he straightened his back with a groan.
He rolled his shoulders next, eyes going wide as he realized he was not at the safehouse anymore. To his confusion, he noticed a rope was over his lap and tying him down to the roof of the Fiat.
“What the hell happened? Where am I?” Goemon jerked his head around, seeing he was behind some large manor. He used Zantetsuken to cut the rope and hopped off the roof of the car, slowly examining the area.
He dropped into a defensive stance when there were sudden shouts and gunfire, Lupin and Jigen rounding the corner of the manor and running full speed.
“Hey Goemon! Glad you woke up Sleeping Beauty!” Lupin waved before ducking his head to avoid more bullets.
“Where the hell are we?” Goemon asked as he dashed forward, drawing Zantetsuken and bringing down the wave of bullets. It allowed Jigen an opening to fire his magnum, bringing down the guards and allowing all three men to relax some.
Jigen holstered his magnum before glaring at Goemon, “we’re at some rich snobs tacky manor. Remember me and Lupin had a job to do?”
Goemon nodded, “I do. But why am I here? Why was I tied to the roof of the car?”
Lupin snickered before he answered, “well when you decide to get your beauty sleep while sitting on top of my car you didn’t leave us much choice.”
Goemon looked shocked with wide eyes, “I did what?”
“You passed out on top of the Fiat. As you don’t take kindly to being waken up from that kind of sleep, we just brought you along.” Jigen answered, crossing his arms and smirking.
Goemon jerked his head from Jigen to the car, “oh. I’m sorry?” The last thing he remembered was meditating.
Lupin patted him on the back, “well you did just help save our butts so I sure forgive you!” Lupin twirled the car key around his finger, “you feel like riding on the roof again Goemon?”
“If I do will I have to be tied down again?” Goemon tucked his arms into his sleeves as he walked to the Fiat.
“Only if you want to!” Lupin said before breaking out into giggles as he trailed behind.
Jigen rolled his eyes, “what the hell made you so tired anyhow Goemon? You don’t normally fall asleep like that, especially while meditating.”
Goemon closed his eyes, his cheeks warm, “I have absolutely no idea.” To his horror, he did remember that before going to meditate he’d eaten dinner and been drinking. He’d bought a very nice bottle of sake from Japan.
Lupin leaned down and nudged Goemon with his elbow, “I know that look and you sure do know don’t you! Come on Goemon, spill it!”
Goemon tilted his head upwards, “there is nothing to spill.”
Jigen went to Goemon’s other side, “he sure looks guilty of something.”
“Can we please go home now?” Goemon asked with a hint of desperation in his voice.
“I guess since you asked nicely but next time you fall asleep like that I’ll put you in a compromising pose!”
Lupin swiftly dodged Goemon’s sword swing with a laugh.