Work Text:
Orihime watched them go back and forth in the study area they checked out the week before.
“We’re sorry!” Ichigo and Renji said at the same time, both looking down to hide their faces. Orihime made eye contact with Rukia who shrugged humorously and shook her head, which clearly meant she was in the dark about this too.
“You two are being weird.” Uryuu said. “I don’t understand why a single argument out of the many ones we’ve had made you think you needed to say sorry.”
“We self-reflected.” Renji blurted out.
“We thought really hard about it.” Ichigo added, nodding.
“... Right, so other than the huge lie you both just told, what have you actually been up to?” Uryuu asked suspiciously.
Orihime waved her hand, gathering Uryuu’s attention. “Don’t be like that!” she chided lightly. “We have to believe them when they say they've self reflected.”
“There has literally never been a moment in history where Ichigo has ever self reflected on his actions- much less Renji.”
“First time for everything?” chad supplied. “Plus, yesterday they said-”
“-They said I was a bozo.” Uryuu interrupted through gritted teeth. “ I know.”
“We also said you looked smarter in photos-” Renji said sadly.
“And we said you hated puppies.” Ichigo added.
“And that you hate color, joy-”
“-Rainbows, friendship, love-”
“I remember!” Uryuu interjected, “I remember what was said, unfortunately for you two I don't care enough about that painfully childish argument over sports to hold a grudge.”
“He’s right, you three argue like that everyday,” Orihime said out-loud. “Why do you feel the need to apologize now?”
“We self-reflected.” Renji repeated.
Uryuu’s eye twitched.
“And… we made you something!”
That caught everyone's attention. Rukia’s head snapped up from the essay she was working on and Uryuu paused in the middle of reflecting his glasses.
Chad spoke hesitantly. “You two made something….?”
“We worked really hard on it.” Ichigo’s eye twitched like he was trying to hold back an expression. Uryuu hadn’t caught it, but Orihime had.
“I just feel like this room got ten times less safer.” Chad whispered to her, Orihime held back a giggle.
“As in, you two… crafted something?” Rukia questioned. “Like, with your brains and hands?”
“Is she insulting us?” Renji asked.
“Don’t ask that,” Ichigo muttered. “You know better.”
Orihime delightedly realized they did actually make something. She hadn’t realized it earlier but Ichigo and Renji are sitting much closer than they usually do, their backs together like…. Like they’re hiding something behind them.
“I don’t need any hazardous things you two made!”
“But we worked hard on it!” they said.
“If they passed the campus metal detectors, it’s probably fine!” Rukia commented.
Orihime burst into laughter as she held onto Chad.
“Laugh all you want, but prepare yourselves for a collaboration from your favorite soccer duo!” Renji said, pulling his hand from behind their backs and presenting them with..
… A piece of paper?
And oh.
Orihime flinched back, Chad turned around and coughed violently.
Uryuu stared until he spoke.
“It’s hideous,” he said bluntly.
“Now, Uryuu…” Orihime tried to continue but her voice was trembling with laughter.
Renji and Ichigo seemed unbothered.
Renji pointed helpfully to a weird disfigured red blob on the page. “That’s you, but like, as Santa Claus.”
In the apparent "drawing," Santa Uryuu was riding a sleigh that appeared to be made out of rectangles, he was wearing squares on his feet that had an arrow pointed on them labeled “SHOES” because apparently drawing them was too hard.
Santa Uryuu was very oversized- especially his head. Orihime knew better than to point that out though, she didn’t think it would be very well received on either side.
Everything was blobs and smudges, and Orihime thinks they've used a combination of colored pencils, markers and crayons, which is a very creative choice, it’s just….. A terrible drawing.
However Rukia next to her nodded like she understood the full drawing, like there was absolutely nothing disturbing about what Ichigo and Renji came up with when unsupervised.
“We made you super strong, too.” Ichigo added, “you’re fighting the grinch.” Ichigo gestured to the other half of the drawing where the grinch was way smaller than he should be, and also….. Yellow?
The grinch had a smile that took up most of its face and it was on a helicopter.
If it weren't for Ichigo and Renji explaining, she wouldn’t have understood anything.
“And the grinch has a wand!” Renji said, smiling like he was proud of that detail.
“I hate it.” Uryuu said.
Orihime closed her eyes to keep the laughter from spilling out.
“Is that-” Uryuu started. “Is that a rocket launcher in my hands?!” He asked, incredulously.
“Duh! How else are you going to defend Christmas?”
“There’s not even snow in the drawing!”
“....Climate change?”
Orihime peered closer at the drawing, somehow they'd drawn reindeer…. Except.. “Is that me?” she asked, looking at one of the reindeer with suspiciously long brown hair.
“We ran out of original material.” Renji explained. “Chad is next to you. You’re both like his loyal guards.”
“We felt like making you elves would make you shine less.” Ichigo elaborated.
“We look kind of stupid.” Chad said, peering over her shoulder.
“I’m not sure why you all are so confused,” Rukia said laughing. “I think it looks great, I can see myself in the moon!”
“In the…” Uryuu groaned. “Oh come on! Why is rukia the moon? Why are they even on my apology drawing!?”
Sure enough, the moon had Rukia’s hair style drawn terribly over it.
Orihime was pretty sure it was the most disturbing thing she’d ever seen on a piece of paper but she nodded along anyway. “I can tell it took you guys… a long time.”
Uryuu fixed his glasses. “The only comprehensible thing on here is the rocket launcher, and I hate that. Why do you know how to draw one?”
“I mean, how else would we capture the christmas vibe-”
“It’s spring-!”
“-So we had to draw it correctly!” Renji continued anyway.
Uryuu threw his hands up. “I don’t even know why I ask anymore.”
